Kokoro Connect

The phenomenon continued even during the New Year"s Eve.

Taichi and the others from the club could only gather once again at the abandoned apartment. Before they entered, they scouted the area to make sure that n.o.body else was watching.

"...She"s late!"

Inaba hit the desk with a loud *bang*.

It was five minutes before twelve on the clock, but Nagase still hadn"t arrive at the building.

If she didn"t make it here before twelve and undergoes "Time Regression"... it would become problematic.

"What she mean by "I"ll make it if I make it" anyway..."

Just as Inaba was about to continue her rant, the door flung open.

"Sorry, I"m late!"

Nagase barely made it into the room before twelve.

"You"re too slow, you idiot!"

"Ahh~ My bad my bad, I got caught up with something!"

Nagase said cheerfully, but her hair was in rather bad shape and her eyes were swelling as well.

"Oi... Are you alright?" Taichi asked with concern.

"Didn"t I say I only "got caught up with something"? I"m fine!"

She seemed to be pus.h.i.+ng herself.

The ones who were affected by "Time Regression" today were Inaba and Kiriyama.

The two"s body shrunk slightly, their look became slightly more child-like. Also, Kiriyama"s hair became very short. She seemed to have reverted to her short-haired days.

They didn"t change much, both seemed to be in their middle school age.

And so begins the day.

Just as Taichi thought that——

"Noooooooooo!"

Kiriyama, who was in the state of "Time Regression", suddenly screamed.

"Huh? What"s wrong?"

As Taichi tried to approach her, Kiriyama whimpered and backed away.

"Taichi, move aside!"

Nagase pushed Taichi aside, and knelt before Kiriyama.

"What"s wrong, Yui? You okay?"

"There"s... Boy... I... I..."

"Mm. I understand. It"s okay, just relax, breathe, okay? Breathe."

Nagase proceeded to soothe a very shaken Kiriyama.

"There now, there"s nothing to be afraid of, okay? No one"s gonna hurt you."

Nagase gently stroke Kiriyama"s back, and continued to comfort her for a while.

As they let the now calmed Kiriyama(14) and Inaba(14) sat down on the chairs (they had verified their age), Taichi and the others sat at a distance a way from the two in the room.

Inaba(14) was reading quietly. On the other hand, Kiriyama(14) was not doing anything particular but sitting on her chair, and would occasionally peek at Taichi and Aoki. She was like a scared kitten.

"...That"s kinda overreacting."

Taichi murmured. Nagase heard him and raised her eyebrow in slight anger.

"Taichi, you shouldn"t be saying that."

"I—I know... But, she wouldn"t even be able to go to school like that, would she?"

"Indeed... Could it be that she was reverted to the state right after she was "almost a.s.saulted by a man"?"

"So that"s what the phenomenon"s doing this time... Reverting back to your past state, undergoing what is normally impossible, having the phenomenon confuse your memories and feelings... I guess these are the kind of things we"re dealing with."

"Whoa, you sounded like Inaban for a moment there, Taichi."

"Don"t say that. I"ll be embarra.s.sed."

"...Why would you be embarra.s.sed?"

"N—No! I mean, it sounded like you"re saying I"m smart and all. I wasn"t implying anything else..."

"Haha~ You"re too worked up, Taichi~"

Nagase seemed to have predicted this since the start. Her chatter had greatly lightened the mood.

Although when Taichi first saw her today, Nagase didn"t seem to feel well at all. He hoped she was alright.

"Aoki, what do you think?"

Nagase tried to start a conversation with Aoki, who had been quiet the whole time.

"...Eh? Ahh, yeah... Er..."

"You ain"t even thinking of nothing!"

Taichi watched as Nagase jabbed at Aoki with her fake-Kansai dialect. He felt there was indeed something wrong with Aoki.

——Normally, Aoki would be the first one to react towards Kiriyama(14)"s screaming.

"...Stop freaking out like that. You"re distracting me."

Inaba(14) said to Kiriyama(14), her eyes still fixated on her book.

"Eh... Uh... I... Sorry."

"Hmph. Aren"t you gonna do anything? You"re just wasting time sitting there."

"R—Right... Then... Can I try reading that..."

Kiriyama(14) tried to pick up one of the books from the pile in front of Inaba(14). These books were prepared in advance by Inaba, who said "In case I reverted to my more recent age, give these to me and I should stay put."

"I"m fine with that. Can you understand that book though?"

The books in front of Inaba were a bit too advanced for middle-schoolers.

"Uh, probably not..."

Inaba(14) snorted and returned to her reading.

Kiriyama(14), on the other hand, curled up and continued to stare at the floor.

Taichi and Nagase watched them from afar.

Note: Aoki went to the store for the bathroom.

"Wow... Inaban from not long ago is so harsh."

"She isn"t a bad person at heart, but she really can be very cold."

"...Even so, you won"t think of Inaban badly right?"

Nagase asked as she looked straight into Taichi"s eyes.

"...Of course. These are things from the past, not to mention I really don"t believe her to be a bad person at all."

Taichi answered as he, too, looked back straight towards Nagase. She smiled in response.

"Good."

Nagase looked satisfied.

Even though it was always like that, Taichi couldn"t at all figure out what she was really thinking.

He always thought, if only he could understand Nagase better as a person.

"Today"s New Year"s Eve right? This entire year... so much had happened."

Nagase said sentimentally.

"Too much, too frequently. "Personality Exchange" plus "Desire Unleash"..."

"Say, Taichi, what was the "most remarkable event that happened this year" for you?"

"The most remarkable event you say... If I have to generalize... I guess I"d say the encounter with «Heartseed»."

Taichi answered, and Nagase made a disappointed "Ehhhh?" sound. She raised her eyebrow unhappily.

"What? What were you expected me to answer?"

"In situations like this..."

Nagase grinned.

"...You should be answering "our encounter" you know!"

It was an innocent, pure and bright smile; for a moment, Taichi had forgotten to breathe.

The smile was so bright it could be described as the life-nurturing sun.

"O—Our encounter... N—Nagase you"re talking really boldly..."

The room was cold, yet Taichi was drenching in sweat.

"Eh? Our encounter... Ah! No! I—I don"t mean it like that!"

Nagase waved her hands in panic.

"No, I mean I do mean some of it, but I really wanted to mean it like "meeting everyone in CRC.""

Nagase"s cheek turned bright red.

"Ahh... I guess. Sorry, I jumped to conclusion..."

Taichi was embarra.s.sed at his misinterpretation, and lowered his head.

But Nagase seemed to have a different say about it.

"Uh, but, Taichi is of course part of what I meant too! More like, if I have to choose someone from the CRC, I"d probably choose Taichi... Wo—Wo—Wa...!?"

Nagase seemed confused.

"I—I get it! Anyway, calm down."

"G—Gotja!"

And then, Taichi peeked at Inaba(14) and Kiriyama(14) to check on them...

Only to find them sitting completely still staring at Taichi and Nagase.

As they caught on Taichi"s eye, Inaba(14) smirked and again returned to her reading; Kiriyama on the other hand averted her eyes.

"Ahem~ Now that I think of it..."

Nagase cleared her throat and changed the topic.

"Normally we should be spending New Year"s Eve and New Year"s Day with our family. Is Taichi alright with coming out?"

"...Of course my family is upset at me not being home during these times, since I"m suppose to help with New Year"s clean up. That"s why I try to finish as much house work as possible before coming out at noon."

The more concerning problem was, his sister was in an increasingly bad mood.

When he tried to leave home today, his sister angrily complained about Taichi being out all day, not playing with her, and not doing her homework (even though Taichi insisted that she should be "doing her own homework". Yet she answered: "Onii-chan that doesn"t help do homework is no Onii-chan!") Hopefully she wasn"t only acknowledging her brother for personal conveniences... Hopefully.)

"Speaking of which, what about Nagase? Is your mother alone at home?"

"No, not now anyway... Ah! Never mind never mind. You"re right, Mom"s alone at home."

"Huh? Which is it?"

"Ahhh it"s nothing. It"s just my Mom. So, er... I really can"t say..."

Nagase"s expression suddenly turned sombre. Her cheerful outlook vanished without a trace.

"I"m... worried."

"...I see... I really do hope it will end soon."

Taichi said, and felt himself being very irresponsible at the same time.

He knew who the "true mastermind" of this phenomenon was, yet he was not able to do anything.

"But we could still go home at night... We can still pa.s.s the year with our family without any interference from the outside."

Nagase said determinedly with a decisive look in her eyes.

Why is she saying that so determinedly? Taichi thought in puzzlement.

It was five o"clock. The "Time Regression" phenomenon ended for the day.

The two felt a slight discomfort for a moment, and then Inaba(14) and Kiriyama(14) returned to normal.

"...Ugh! Ah, it"s my turn today? How old was I reverted to?"

Taichi answered Inaba"s question:

"You were fourteen. By the way Kiriyama was fourteen as well... Kiriyama?"

Kiriyama held her arms against shoudler tightly as if she was about to freeze to death.

Her face, half-covered by her chestnut-brown hair, appeared pale white.

"Are you alright? Yui!"

Nagase rushed to Kiriyama"s side. Kiriyama responded with a shaken voice:

"...I... remember... everything... clearly... I..."

Kiriyama trembled and said.

After dinner, Kiriyama Yui left words of "I"ll come down later tonight" and proceeded to shut herself in her room.

Her mother asked: "Are you feeling ill?"

Yui answered that she was just a bit tired.

Her mother asked again: "Would you like some tos.h.i.+kos.h.i.+ soba for midnight snack tonight?"

This time Yui answered: "I"ll come down for it later."

Though concerned, her mother watched silently as she saw Yui head upstairs.

Yui closed the door of her room and fell on her bed.

Mother is being too gentle to me, she thought.

Now that she thought about it, her mother used to be stricter. Even though she"d still scold her whenever Yui did something wrong, in the past her mother would also scold her whenever Yui was being irresponsible.

Yui thought she had forgotten how her mother used to be like.

Everything was changed on that day.

Yui remembered many things.

Including those she refused to look at, and those she wanted to forget.

When she was almost a.s.saulted, she felt painful.

But compared to that, remembering her past self was even more painful.

She once had a dream.

It was a dream that was grand and naive, like a silly child"s dream.

It would be a blatant lie to say that she had already forgotten that dream.

She had never forgotten it, but she stashed it in a box, and avoided looking at it. And then, when she realized it again, the box was already covered in thick dust.

Even with "Time Regression", where she was forced to recall her once undeniable, bright and glorious dream, Yui still refused to look at it.

However, it could no longer be hidden.

——I want to be Number One.

She used to think that naively. She believed as such and continued to advance in her karate practice.

What does "Number One" suppose to mean anyway? Yui mocked at herself.

To be Number One on a tournament? Of j.a.pan? Of the world? Or was it one that exceeds the boundary of genders?

She never once thought of these.

Because there was no such thing as limit.

Number One was simply, Number One.

She only kept advancing.

She was "strong".

It was not "strong" in the sense of physique or skill.

It was "strong" in a more general sense, and she would achieve it with her own hands.

She had lost before, but it was never the end. She would stand up again, and face the next challenge with everything she had got, no matter how many times she fell.

But now, she was weak.

Ever since that incident, she had became stagnant. She became so weak she was unable to walk on her own. If she fell, she could never get up again.

What does she have now? She thought. What else could she do?

Nothing.

Kiriyama Yui had nothing, and could achieve nothing.

She had received many things from her companions.

But she had nothing to return.

She once made a promise with someone.

A promise with the girl whose name was Mihas.h.i.+ Chinatsu.

The two had always run into each other at the local tournament finals. Yui would always be the first place, while Mihas.h.i.+ would be the second. Needless to say, Mihas.h.i.+ wasn"t very happy about that.

The school of karate which Yui was part of did not organized national tournaments for middle-schoolers. Therefore, after Mihas.h.i.+ moved, the two never got to spar again.

Mihas.h.i.+, who rarely talked to Yui even when they met during tournaments, before she moved, once told Yui shyly: "Once we enter high school, we"ll fight again in the national tournament! I won"t lose to you next time."

She used to think Mihas.h.i.+ disliked her, but it didn"t seemed the case. And the "national tournament" part seemed to imply that Mihas.h.i.+ acknowledged Yui"s skill. This made Yui very happy.

She promised to her.

She swore it many times, that she would keep that promise.

Mihas.h.i.+ must had valued their promise, yet Yui had failed to keep it——She did not even remember it.

She had given up her dream.

By leaving everything behind.

Living under the shelter of her friends and families.

Now, however, even the the one who claimed to love her, who believed in her, was no longer saying that "he loves her".

Who was there left to acknowledge her worth?

n.o.body.

She was worthless.

A pointless n.o.body.

A replacement that could be subst.i.tuted any time.

Yes, just a replacement.

To Aoki, she was Nis.h.i.+no Nana"s...

But was it wrong to be one of the dime and dozen?

She was not exactly anyone great in particular.

How many great people were there in the world anyway?

She was definitively different compared to those people.

There was no point trying.

It was something that could not be helped.

She would fail no matter how much she would try.

So she stopped pus.h.i.+ng herself.

She had tried hard, hadn"t she?

She had enough.

So empty... it was infuriating.

An empty sh.e.l.l.

Kiriyama Yui was an empty, hollow sh.e.l.l.

She was just a sh.e.l.l. Yet her tear flowed as though she was human.