Kokoro Connect

Chapter 2 - The Valentine"s Day for Inaba Himeko

Prev List Next

Chapter 2 - The Valentine"s Day for Inaba Himeko

For the Cultural Research Club, as well as Inaba Himeko, this was their fourth paranormal encounter.

«Number Two» did not intervene this time, as if to say that this was a formal deal. «Heartseed» possessed Gotou Ryuuzen, homeroom teacher of cla.s.s 1C plus advisor of the CRC, and appeared in the club room.

Due to the special occasion of the third occurrence, Inaba deduced that he may show up through other methods, but that a.s.sumption amounted to nothing.

In the end, what"s the deal with «Number Two»?

It is worth noting that, Inaba tried to inquire about it, but «Heartseed» merely answered with: "Ahh... About that... That one was curious about me... In other words, I was interesting to that one... In other words, I"ve become interesting... Ahh, why do I need to answer these... Do I? Or do I not?" sort of garbage.

«Heartseed"s» gimmick for this round was "Sentiment Transmission."

Simply put, this phenomenon transmits one"s sentiment to specific targets among themselves without the need of speaking or limitation by distances.

Once this phenomenon triggered, they could hear the inner thoughts, as well as feel the "feelings" of one another. Also, they would be able to automatically tell whose thoughts or feelings they had received based on the voice and impression.

How were they able to tell? It was difficult to describe in words. Even though they could hear the voice, they didn"t hear it through their ears. It was more like a voice that echoed clearly in their heads.

The same went for "feelings" as well. They could only feel it. If they really had to describe it, it would be something like over synchronising to the point where their feelings are completely shared——That was probably the closest they could put it.

The targets were, of course, the five members of the CRC. The time of triggering was random. Based on experience, however, they suspected that some occasions were triggered deliberately.

There were a few other factors.

First of all, the number of people receiving your thoughts and feelings was random. It may be one, or it may be multiple.

Next, the one whose sentiment was exposed would be able to know "who" received the transmission. On the other hand, the receiver would not know who else received the transmission.

Putting those factors together, to draw an a.n.a.logy, it would be something like this: Among the five of them, one of them would occasionally act as a "radio tower" and send out a "transmission signal". The ones who "matched the frequency of that signal" among the remaining others would then receive the transmission, and then the sender would know who those receivers were.

It was worth noting that, the stronger the sentiment, the more likely it would be transmitted. And the closer a certain person was related to the sentiment, the more likely that person would become a receiver. Also, it would seem that if they actually wished to have their sentiment transmitted, the likelihood of the transmission triggering would increase as well, but that was only a wild guess, so there would be no harm to ignore it.

This was what they got after reorganising «Heartseed»"s words.

When the phenomenon first triggered, they would feel this strong abrupt feeling. They would occasionally feel disgusted, or painful in the head. After all, their minds were being intruded by somebody else"s thoughts and feelings.

They got used to it after a week though, in that they no longer felt any physical discomfort.

Objectively speaking, getting used to the phenomenon this quickly was, of course, abnormal. But considering that they had already gotten used to the aspect of "getting used to the phenomenon"... Although very frustrating, they couldn"t help it.

Just as before, this was a terrible phenomenon.

Having your inner thoughts exposed like that... That alone was enough to drive anyone insane.

During the first three days, Inaba Himeko was very conscious of her own comparatively deceitful and insidious thoughts. Therefore, she tried to convince herself: Once I fall asleep, I"ll stop thinking, then it wouldn"t be a problem...Though she soon got herself stuck in a "the more she tried to sleep, the more she couldn"t" kind of negative loop in the end.

However, they were no longer beginners.

They had already built a formidable bond between themselves, and had revealed many personal secrets to each other.

By the fourth day, Inaba"s fatigue was beginning to reach its peak. But after Taichi comforted her that "It will be alright," she was finally able to close her eyes for some much needed sleep. After relieving herself like that, she felt much more at ease, and was able to return to her normal life.

Thereafter, with reaching the "end" in mind, they move forward. They accepted their current state and continued living their lives.

Those beings wanted to see something interesting.

This was why the phenomena were being triggered where Inaba and the others belong, in the Cultural Research Club.

Looking from a different angle, since that was the case, if Inaba and the others stopped showing them anything "interesting", those beings would lose interest on the CRC, would they not?

In other words, suppose a phenomenon began, but they were not affected the slightest and maintained their normal lives. «Heartseed» and others alike would then believe that "These guys don"t do anything interesting anymore."

Thinking back, during the "Desire Unleash" phenomenon, «Heartseed"s» reason for ending the phenomenon was "Everybody had gotten used to it."

Based on these a.s.sumptions, Inaba and the others decided to take on this countermeasure: Disregard the phenomenon and live their lives as usual.

This was several days ago.

Let"s do this. We"ll show them. All good? Fight! —— They had sworn to themselves.

Yet, the "worst case scenario" seemed inevitable.

They thought they were going to make it through together. Such a dream, however, was soon shattered.

Conflict arose due to "Sentiment Transmission" during their club activity the other day.

Iori, who had not spoken a word since then, seemed to be hurt to most.

And Inaba herself was forced to find out that certain truth... and hear those words...

The road forward was grim.

What plagued her mind even more were the words that dratted «Heartseed» said: "Ahh... I suppose I should be more enthusiastic this time... Should I... Or should I not..."

Fifteenth of February, the day after Valentine"s Day.

That morning, Inaba quietly slipped the chocolate into her bag, and headed out for school.

Inaba did not head directly to the cla.s.sroom: She couldn"t bring herself to face Taichi or Iori. Instead, she walked to a desolate corner of the school building. She figured that she should be contemplating on how to deal with the issue of Gotou"s club advising arrangement, but decided to put it aside for now.

"...I"m probably the only one who"s still bringing chocolate to school today."

Luckily, she didn"t use any ingredients with a short storage life like fresh cream or fresh fruit, she only prepared plain chocolate... Inaba thought to herself. Truth was that she tried to challenge advanced level sweets, which ended in complete failure. To her, it was what they would call a girl"s secret.

This was the first time she had ever cooked for someone else.

Inaba opened her bag and checked the box containing the chocolate... The first hand-made, hand-packaged Valentine"s Day chocolate in her life.

Seeing it, she deeply understood that she was rejected.

Regret, sadness, loneliness, and many other kinds of feelings flowed within her; tears began to fill her eyes.

Stop. If I cry now, I"ll look even more pitiful.

She wasn"t sure of the details. However, the truth remained, Yaegas.h.i.+ Taichi chose not her, but Nagase Iori.

His choice... No. It had already been decided since the beginning.

She had already lost to begin with, yet she shamelessly proclaimed that she had not lost the war, and pampered her petulant self. This was where she ended up.

Her resistance was futile. Taichi had once again confessed to Iori. That was the decisive outcome.

...That was how it was supposed to end.

Iori, however, rejected Taichi"s confession. Things had become chaotic.

The chocolate too. She originally wanted to throw it out but couldn"t bring herself to do it, so she continued to keep it in her bag.

Was she looking forward for something particular? Something like opportunity?

Based on what she knew, Iori was supposed to have feelings for Taichi.

"Could it be something like... she doesn"t love him anymore...?"

Did something happen that influenced their relations.h.i.+p?

If that was the case, how should she perceive it? Or, what course of action should she take?

She did not know.

She would be wanting to ask Taichi out.

But hearing the conflict between Taichi and Iori disturbed her.

If Inaba only considered the situation between Taichi and herself——

[ Having Taichi and Iori"s relations.h.i.+p worsen is an advantage for me, is it not? ]

"Sentiment Transmission" triggered.

"...C"mon! Why did it have to pick only that part for "Sentiment Transmission"!?"

That sentiment was forwarded to Taichi and Iori. She had better explain it to them afterwards.

"With that thought alone, I"ve become a despicable woman..."

Now that she thought about it, the things that Iori said the day before, along with the cold thoughts in her mind, may have been something like this... No, this was only wishful thinking.

...I"m pathetic. My cowardly bug is spewing nonsense again.

A dark, heavy feeling began to stir in her chest—— CLAP! Inaba inflicted pain on herself by clapping her hands together as hard as she could, and interrupted her own thoughts.

Even though they were experiencing such a phenomenon, thankfully, it did not seem to be affecting the environment outside of the CRC. Since that was the case, they would only need to endure it. Of course, as companions, they would need to support each other.

Alright, let"s resolve this before it gets any worse! Start by talking with each of them directly.

"Good!" Inaba pulled herself together, prepared to head to her cla.s.sroom——And found herself meeting with someone"s eyes.

"...Ah, my apologies, Inaba-san. Morning exercise. I was taking a shortcut..."

s.h.i.+royama Shotou, her cla.s.smate from cla.s.s 1C, whom she spoke with yesterday and who was part of the Jazz Band, was standing there on this normally desolate grounds of the school.

...Figuring that he must have seen her talking to herself, Inaba felt extremely embarra.s.sed.

"Er—Erm, you must be rehearsing... I will see you in cla.s.s."

s.h.i.+royama was a nice fellow, though his gentle words stirred a painful feeling in Inaba"s chest.

——The fate of the chocolate was yet to be determined.

Noon break, Inaba approached Iori in a desolate hallway.

"I"ve already explained it to Yui and Aoki. They both expressed that "they"re not the ones to comment", something like that."

As Inaba finished, Iori replied "I see" and nodded. Iori"s expression was grim. She had been like that since the beginning of cla.s.s in the morning.

"Anyway, back on the matter—"

Inaba was caught speechless for a moment.

Iori"s cold gaze pierced through Inaba.

Don"t look at me with a scary expression like that please.

Inaba could almost feel her weak heart being mercilessly crushed.

But then, she took a deep breath, and spoke:

"Is it true that Taichi confessed to you? And that you rejected him, is that also true?"

"...Mhm."

"What happened?"

"Nothing particular. He confessed to me, but I rejected him... That"s all."

"But you..."

"That"s all"? Doesn"t that sound a little too nonchalant? Inaba couldn"t help but feel a little agitated.

"What was the point of the triangle relations.h.i.+p between me, you and Taichi before then!? Did something happen and make you not like him anymore!?"

She lost her composure again. Not good.

"...Say I tell you, what are you gonna do?"

Inaba struggled to control her anger, and was soon greeted by Iori with a splash of cold water.

Her att.i.tude was calm... and cold.

"But, I can"t accept..."

"Accept what?"

Her face was like an expressionless mask.

A breath-taking, beautiful mask.

Beautiful... and appalling.

"I"m sorry, Inaban. I don"t know why myself. But it is true that I "no longer want to go out with Taichi.""

As if explaining gently.

"Therefore, you don"t need to worry about me."

Don"t need to worry about her——she said. Then what am I going to do?

"Uh, was it... was it something to do with the "Sentiment Transmission" phenomenon?"

"...I"d be lying if I say it wasn"t."

"Th—Then, why don"t you reconsider? I mean, we are under abnormal circ.u.mstances, which causes us to make false judgements, once everything goes back to normal——"

"I"ve thought of that as well," Iori spoke, interrupting Inaba.

"When will that time ever come though? Say the current phenomenon ended, but what if another one hits us again?"

She did not know.

"People change according to their environment anyway, right? What"s the difference between «Heartseed"s» phenomena and other external factors?"

She did not know.

"Not to mention, the reason why the "story" between me and Taichi was even started, was because of "Personality Exchange" wasn"t it? Then, wouldn"t that be false judgement as well?"

She did not know.

"I should ask though, Inaban, is it your wish for me to go out with Taichi? What is it that you really want?"

That——was the very thing that she wanted to know most.

And, was Iori the kind of girl who would talk about her relations.h.i.+p in such an impa.s.sive manner?

Was she the type that would display, with no consideration of others" feelings as if wanting to drive them into despair, such a cold, chilling demeanour?

"Sentiment Transmission" triggered again.

Inaba heard Taichi"s thought.

[ What should I do... Nagase told me such... And Inaba... And I didn"t even do my homework... ]

Taichi"s tangled feelings dawned upon Inaba.

Even though she knew Taichi could not hear her, Inaba replied deep within her heart.

——How should I know.

In the end, Inaba was unable to find out how Iori truly thinks.

The only thing she could be sure of, however, was that Iori no longer wanted to go out with Taichi.

...And it felt a little frightening.

During the seldom-extended homeroom meeting, Inaba pondered absently.

"Compared to that... I..."

Inaba muttered to herself at a volume that no one else could hear.

Rather than worrying about the others, she thought, she should probably worry about herself right now.

Even if she treated Iori"s issue as an excuse to avoid her own problem, nothing would be resolved.

She had been rejected once to begin with, and then she was rejected in the form where "he didn"t choose her, but her rival" once again. What should she do now?

Normally, I would have given up, Inaba thought to herself.

However, the reason why she was rejected was gone.

In that case, what should she do now?

No matter how hard she searched through her database, she couldn"t find an answer.

She wished someone could give her the right answer.

She did not understand what it meant to be in love.

She did not understand what it meant to love another person.

She did not understand anything.

Her feelings became tangled.

Was she going to start having one of those contemptible thoughts again like she did in the morning?

She didn"t want others to feel her confused thoughts.

She believed herself to be despicable, insidious, and cowardly. More so than anyone else.

Why don"t I just stop thinking... It"ll be easier like that, but I can"t do that... And besides, is it really alright for me to be so indulgent in love? I mean think about the phenomenon... It"s best to ignore it, isn"t it? But then I"d completely end up on the receiving end of the stick... and become influenced, and then shaken... and eventually driven to a dead end... And if the others find out how pathetic I am... No! This is embarra.s.sing, embarra.s.sing, embarra.s.sing... I won"t be able to put myself back together again—— I can"t take this anymore.

No more, Inaba thought to herself. She wanted to give up; she wanted to leave everything behind, and escape from the pain.

She was not fit for love after all.

The chocolate, I should just throw it out, therefore——

[ I"m sorry. I missed my chance yesterday, so I"m a day late... ]

Yui"s inner voice rang in Inaba"s mind.

And then, Aoki"s voice——

[ YEEEEEESSSSSHHHHHHHH! I thought I weren"t getting any this year, I"M SO HAPPYYYYYYYYY——————! ]

"Uch..."

Inaba closed her eyes and covered her ears reflexively.

"What"s wrong?" The girl behind her asked. Inaba replied, "It"s nothing."

She almost felt her heart jump out from that scare.

Aoki"s thought came to her at an incredible volume.

They were doing pretty well despite the situation, Inaba remarked in her mind. Indeed, it was the best approach to the situation. Not wavering towards anything, and the end will eventually arrive.

The sentiment did not end there.

Her heart continued to pound uncontrollably.

Good grief, can they be any more excited?

Not only that.

The heartbeats that continued to flow into Inaba were —— Yui and Aoki"s —— feelings of love.

Love... There was no question about Aoki"s, but what about Yui"s?

Jeez, Inaba relaxed her expression and smiled.

It was a heartbeat that would make anyone blush.

Knowing that her thoughts were heard, how embarra.s.sed would Yui be? (Aoki probably wouldn"t mind in the slightest.)

It was——

Really youthful.

Really pa.s.sionate.

Really... enviable.

Envious of what? Inaba asked herself. Envious of being loved? Well, that could be it.

But at the same time... Envious of being able to love a person.

She did not want to give up.

She did not give up.

She too, this feeling——

Ahh, what"s this?

The answer... was right there all along.

After the meeting, Inaba quickly sent a text message to Taichi.

"Before heading to the club room, please meet me behind the east school building."

Without confirming whether Taichi received it, Inaba dashed out of the cla.s.sroom and arrived at behind the east school building.

This area was usually desolated and was thus a popular spot for love confessions. It was probably crowded yesterday, but today it appeared fairly deserted.

Taichi arrived shortly after.

"Inaba."

Upon being called, she realised she had not talked to Taichi today at all.

Not since that terrible mess yesterday.

"...I"m sorry about yesterday, for saying... things like "what about my feelings" and the sort."

She believed herself to be the selfish, irresponsible one.

"Inaba, there"s no need for you to apologise, it"s all my fault to begin with..."

"Don"t take all the blame, I was the... Uh, I guess we both share half the blame."

Inaba smiled and spoke in a seemingly joking manner.

She tried to maintain a cheerful tone and continued:

"It still surprised me though. I was all prepared the one day Taichi would confess to Iori and ask her out... But I figured if it was you... you would have told me before then."

It would definitely be better than finding out through "Sentiment Transmission," Inaba whispered in her mind.

"I—I was originally going to after confessing to Nagase, believing that I get an OK from her, then talk to Inaba afterwards..."

"...What am I, Iori"s parent?"

[ Truth is, I was worried that if I talked to Inaba first, you might have actually kept me and I wouldn"t have been able to resist... ]

"...Hm?"

"In—Inaba... you heard it all?"

"Y—Yeah."

Taichi"s thought just now, in other words...

"...Tee~ Hee~"

Inaba gave off a grin.

"Could it be that... you were actually wavering?"

She thought she had lost completely, but surprisingly, it did not seem to be the case.

Her advances had worked.

However, a blushed Taichi tried to deny it.

"I—I was not!"

"...You weren"t?"

She tried saying that with a dejected expression.

"Uh, I mean, I don"t mean I wasn"t...!"

...Interesting. This guy really is fun to tease after all.

"Kukuku~" Inaba snickered, to which Taichi protested "You were tricking me weren"t you," which made Inaba laugh again.

"Ahem."

Taichi cleared his throat, trying to pull the conversation back to a more serious topic.

"I"m not sure how to put this," he spoke with a serious expression, to which Inaba listened quietly.

"I"ve always liked Nagase... But that doesn"t mean I don"t like Inaba. You won"t find such a great person anywhere else, that"s how I see it."

A great person that you "won"t find anywhere else"?

"Won"t find anywhere else"... Did that mean the Only One? Could it be No.1?

"And besides, Inaba is clever, and always there to help others, and selflessly kind, and caring, and mature, and pretty, and very cute sometimes. Even though you"re not great at sports or cooking, these things are made up by—"

"Hold... Hold on a sec!"

Inaba cut Taichi short.

She couldn"t stop giggling.

Does this mean... I had him nailed since the beginning?

Interesting, Inaba thought. Since she got rejected anyway, did that mean Iori was way beyond all this? She would love to hear his comments on Iori now.

"Anyway... That"s how it is. I think Inaba is very attractive too. But since I can only choose one..."

"...Hey, never mind that for now, what"s the part after when you said "these things are made up by"?"

Why are you jumping to conclusions already, dummy.

"Eh, I"ve said quite enough already. No thanks."

"C"mon~! Tell me~~"

"Eh?"

"Ahh...! N—Nothing! Forget it! I bit my tongue!"

Wha-Wha-What"s with that cutesy sound I made!

What"s with those arms swinging around like that!?

These were her own actions, but Inaba couldn"t help but to feel a chill through her body.

This time, it was Inaba who cleared her throat and continued:

"I know very well that you"re being honest. I know. You"ve never dragged on. You"ve never two-timed. You"ve given a straight answer. That"s very handsome of you... The problem stems from me. Thank you."

"No. I should be the one thanking you."

While Inaba did not know what he was thanking her for, Taichi put on a lively expression.

"This was where I confessed to you right?"

It was only three months ago, but it felt like a long time ago to her.

"...Yeah."

"And we kissed too."

"...! Don"t say that out loud!"

Taichi blushed.

Aha~ He really is worth the teasing, Inaba thought.

Yet, should anything ever happen, he would always be there to rely on.

She smiled. She had fallen in love with him after all.

"Hey. Kiss again?"

She wanted to see his reaction, so she tried asking that.

"(Choke)——!?"

As expected, it caught Taichi completely off guard.

She really enjoyed this reaction pattern of his.

"Let"s put the jokes aside for now...... Here."

Inaba took out the box from her bag and handed it to Taichi.

She was surprised at how smoothly she did it.

"Eh, ahh. Th—Thank you."

"As expected you do prefer Iori more, and you made up your mind, yet you still got rejected. Any chance that you"d go out with me now?"

"I can"t... that would be a terrible action..."

Was she being too insidious? Inaba wondered. Though she believed there was still room to discuss whether such an action would be a terrible or not.

"I don"t know either, what should I do? Ever since I heard Iori rejected you, Taichi, my feelings are itching. My rival is gone now, do I still want to go out with you even though you didn"t choose me? I have no clue. Everything. It"s all unknown to me."

So many "unknowns" were before her.

Not to mention, she could not tell whether if this feeling was a result of «Heartseed"s» influence.

But even in face of so many "unknowns"——

"However, I know one thing for sure, and that is I love you; hence, I give you this. Happy Valentine"s Day... Even though it"s a day late."

This present feeling of "love", was without a doubt, a real feeling.

And then, as one who loved Taichi, this was the only thing that needed to be done.

Taichi responded with a sure nod.

"Thank you. Please look forward to White Day."[1]

"Of course. Looking forward to it."

Cheris.h.i.+ngly, Taichi put Inaba"s chocolate in his bag.

With that, she had completed one of her objectives.

Just wait and see, «Heartseed», Inaba declared in her heart.

This was how they choose to fight.

No matter how many times they would fail, they would not give up. They would continue to strive forward.

Just as the two prepared to head to the club room, a thought came to Inaba:

"You"ve been rejected, and I"ve been rejected in a sense as well... Having the two of us starting over as rejected companions together, don"t you think it"s interesting?"

Feeling a little embarra.s.sed of what she said, Inaba took step without looking at Taichi"s expression.

"——I"VE BEEN REJECTED!"

Taichi suddenly cried out. It was so sudden, Inaba thought it was "Sentiment Transmission" for a moment.

"Wha— What the? What"s wrong?"

"REJECTED! REJECTED! REJECTED————!"

He tightened his fist, as if trying to shake the earth, he continued to shout from the bottom of his lungs. Even though this place was desolated, there were people in the buildings. Inaba hoped they didn"t hear it.

"ALRIGHT————!"

Taichi shouted one last time towards the ground, and ended it there.

...Inaba felt a bit fl.u.s.tered.

Needless to say, her "love" for Taichi wouldn"t be shaken by something trivial like this... Wait, what was she thinking!?

Truth to be told, however, it was kind of disturbing.

"What... on earth are you doing?"

"Oh, it was nothing. I thought it might clear my mind a little, so I tried yelling."

"Since when were you the type of person who does that?"

"Well, I can"t just keep holding on to it. If I had accepted reality and acted sooner, Inaba, you wouldn"t need to suffer."

"...For me, it would probably be better if you continue to stress over it. If you gave a swift answer..."

...Then it would have been a swift THE END for me.

"I thought I had already acknowledged the fact that I"ve been rejected... But it wasn"t the case at all. I was just feeling depressed and all. I know it would never work out like that. I gotta face it, accept it, think about it, and then move forward... Even though I have no idea what direction I"m moving forward towards."

Taichi scratched his head and laughed.

Hmph, as expected from the guy chosen by Inaba Himeko—— Inaba couldn"t bring herself to say such an embarra.s.sing line, so she whispered it in her heart. She wished these embarra.s.sing yet truthful feelings were transmitted with "Sentiment Transmission".

"You"ve changed, Taichi."

A truthful thought.

"You too, Inaba."

"I guess. A lot had happened that made us change."

"Nagase... had she changed like that as well?"

Taichi said with a trace of loneliness on his face.

Suddenly, a voice filled Inaba"s mind.

[ You must think I"m a liar right? You must think I"m a liar right? You must think I"m a liar right? ]

Thoughts that flowed from Nagase Iori.

It was so cold and chilling that Inaba thought her own heart would be frozen by it.

——Inaba had been thinking for some time:

She thought she understood her well——but could it be that she had never understood Nagase Iori"s true nature?

Had she confused a certain key factor with something?

Inaba had this feeling.

Who is Nagase Iori really? She asked herself.

Translator"s NotesJump up↑ White Day (ホワイトデー): In j.a.pan, Valentine"s Day is typically observed by girls and women presenting chocolate gifts, usually to boys or men, as an expression of love, courtesy, or social obligation. On White Day, the reverse happens: men who received a "chocolate of love" or "courtesy chocolate" on Valentine"s Day are expected to return the favor by giving gifts. Traditionally, popular White Day gifts are cookies, jewellery, white chocolate, white lingerie and marshmallows.

Prev List Next