Kokoro Connect

On Friday morning, after the exams ended, Taichi and Inaba headed towards the club room together.

Before they left, Taichi had said to Nagase "Let"s go to the club room together Nagase. After all, you need to take part in the oral report too," and she seemed to have nodded slightly. Although they could insist her, Taichi decided that they should respect her wish, and did not push her on coming to the club room.

The club presentation event that would decide the fate of the CRC would be taking place next week. The booklets and paper vellum for the presentation were all completed. The only thing left for them to do was to rehea.r.s.e their oral report. Allegedly the number of audience during the event had exceeded that of two cla.s.ses combined, hence they wanted to rehea.r.s.e as much as possible to refine their performance so as to maintain a good impression should they become nervous on stage.

Taichi had initially felt anxious about the whole ordeal regarding the presentation event, but now he actually felt a little antic.i.p.ated. He was eager to know how the others would see the work they had poured their heart and soul into.

Taichi recalled his club activities during middle school. After a series of rehearsal, when he was finally about to set foot on stage during the event, that feeling of anxious yet unique excitement——he had never thought he would feel it again in the CRC.

He hurried towards the club room. He wanted to check on their presentation materials, which they had left untouched since when club activities were banned during the exams.

[ Ah, we should take a picture. It"s something we nurtured together after all. ]

"Ah."

His pa.s.sionate thought was transmitted to the other four.

"...Taichi, I treasure those materials as much as you do, but aren"t you being a little too dramatic? It"s kinda creepy, just saying."

His thought seemed to have deterred Inaba.

Kiriyama and Aoki had already arrived at the club room.

But for some reason, the two of them did not enter the room. They merely stood at the door motionless.

"Oi, what are you two doing?"

Inaba inquired. Kiriyama turned to to look at them.

Kiriyama"s face... was covered in tears.

"Inaba... Taichi... What do we do now... Uuu..."

"Kiriyama!?"

Taichi shouted and raced by their side.

Aoki turned around as well. He pointed at the club room with a pale expression on his face.

"...What"s wrong?"

Taichi, puzzled, peeked into the club room.

The club room was completely ravaged.

The tables were knocked over, the fold chairs were thrown all over the place as well... No, that wasn"t that big of a deal. The furniture were intact. All they needed to do was put them back in place.

The problem lay with their materials for the oral report.

Their paper vellum were ripped to shreds.

"How did this..."

Taichi staggered into the club room, and collapsed on his knee.

He searched through the pile of paper shreds. The map they had drawn, the points of interest articles... None of them were spared.

"I"ve spent... so much... time drawing this..."

Kiriyama shakily picked up one of the shreds. It was part of one of the ill.u.s.trations she drawn.

It wasn"t just Kiriyama"s. That piece over there was Aoki"s. This was Inaba"s, that was Taichi"s. And this right here was what Nagase made before she stopped coming to the club room.

Nagase may had done the least amount of work among the five of them, but even then, it was still a product of their combined effort.

These materials were the blood and soul of the five members of the Cultural Research Club. Even if they ignored the fact that they needed these materials for the club presentation, these were still irreplaceable memories for them.

"We"ve spent so much work on this..."

It was so upsetting that they felt sick.

They looked at what remained of their work; there was simply no way to restore them.

Aoki said blankly:

"Who was it... We locked the door... In fact we"ve just fetched the key from the teacher"s office to open the door..."

"The security of the club room keys is actually pretty lackl.u.s.ter. It"s not impossible to take the keys momentarily without anyone noticing."

Inaba answered calmly. Just as Taichi was wondering why her answering tone did not match the anger she was exhibiting on her face, she exploded in rage.

"Whoever did this, I won"t let them get away with it...!"

Inaba smashed her fist against the wall.

"...Inaba, there"s no use feeling angry right now..."

As for Taichi, he felt far more despairing than enraged.

"How am I supposed to stay calm after seeing this, dammit! Who"s the culprit behind this!? ...Was it the Jazz Band...!?"

"That"s... not possible, right? They"ve been practicing very hard too, I don"t think they would resort to this underhanded measure..."

That being said, Taichi could not think of anyone else that shared a stake with the CRC. Could they have unknowingly offended someone? Or was it an offender for pleasure?

Reminiscing on their time working on this together, Taichi felt heavy in his heart.

"What do we do... I don"t understand... How could they do this..."

Kiriyama murmured as she wiped her tears with her sleeves.

The room fell into silent. None of them were able to say anything.

They were crushed by the harsh reality before them.

All four of them...

Wait, Taichi suddenly thought. If Nagase were here, what would she do?

Nagase was not necessary the most stable person among them, so she wouldn"t be able to do this every time; but, if she were the usual cheer-bringing, bright, spirited Nagase Iori...

"...Let"s start over. Again."

Taichi spoke.

He was astonished at his own words.

Even if it was just his being desperate and acting strong.

"But... the presentation event is next week... There"s no way we can make it..."

Kiriyama said in a barely audible volume.

"I"m turned off too..."

Aoki said tiredly.

"It may be difficult to recreate something like this again—"

"—but if we go for a compact version, we still got plenty of time."

Before Taichi could say more, Inaba finished off the sentence for him.

Inaba gave Taichi a knowing grin, and pound his chest lightly.

At that moment, Taichi had this sudden urge of wanting to exchange thoughts with Inaba through "Sentiment Transmission", even though he could harness a guess at what she was thinking.

"Eh? But, we can"t beat the Jazz Band with that though can we...?"

In face of Kiriyama"s perfectly valid question, Inaba simply and straightforwardly shook her head.

"You"re right. It"s going to be a close fight, but—"

"—it doesn"t mean we"ll lose."

This time it was Taichi who stole the rest of Inaba"s line.

Hmph! Inaba laughed and continued: "After a second thought, the only things that were destroyed are the materials we were going to use as visual attraction during our oral report. If that"s the case, we"ll emphasise on competing them with content and gripping of audience during our oral report!"

Taichi and Inaba, the two of them together guided the CRC towards a new light.

Nnnngggghhh! Aoki clenched on his head and started moaning loudly. It was so sudden one might even wonder whether if he was feeling ill. He then exclaimed positively:

"That"s right! There"s no use feeling down! We gotta move forward!"

...Even though I wanted to become someone who could bring themselves to be the first one to say such things, seems I still have a long way to go... Aoki murmured under his breath at the end.

And then, Kiriyama, too, covered her eyes with her arm, and started moaning.

What was going on? Was it because she got along with Aoki that she was beginning to act like him too?

"Unnngh... Energize the weak and depressed me from just now!"

Kiriyama shouted and continued:

"This is outrageous, I want to cry, actually I"ve cried already, but this is not the time for me to cry like a baby!"

Kiriyama crossed her arms in the air, and shouted "Alright!" before putting her arms down again.

"By the way, there"s no doubt about competing them with content and our oral report"s performance, but using a compact version of our visual presentation... isn"t that the same as giving up?"

Kiriyama said and beamed. The fighter girl who picked herself up using her karate ways was now extremely resolved.

"I"m going to make those visual materials cute and lovely again, even if it means pulling all-nighters! I"m all fired up! Viva Kawaii![1]"

"Yo, Yui! You"re so cool!"

Aoki echoed stoutly.

"Please say I"m cute!"

Everyone"s spirit had been mercilessly torn to shreds.

However, they were all beginning to gather themselves up.

Even though they might not have completely regained their footing within their hearts, they tried to appear so.

This, for them, was what they needed right now.

Taichi could almost say with confidence that, the Cultural Research Club had grown stronger.

They were strong enough to believe their not losing to anyone.

Then Taichi spoke: "Okay then, let"s put the culprit aside for now and get our work started."

"That being said, after the presentation event ended, we"ll still need to find the culprit. You dirty little culprit... Run to the end of h.e.l.l all you want, I"m gonna find you and make you wish you"ve never been born!!!"

"Inaba... You"re sounding like a villain now."

"But, shouldn"t we figure out who the culprit was and take countermeasures in case they come again?"

"As expected from Yui! Your point of view is sharp as ever! So cool... Er, so cute!"

"Sigh, just add the word "cool" and say I"m "cool and cute"!"

Inaba listened to Kiriyama and Aoki"s conversation, and replied:

"About that, we should be fine if we take our materials home."

The CRC members did not give up. Rather, they looked forward, contemplated on their next step, and slowly advanced forward.

"In that case..."

Taichi peered around the club room.

First we need to clean up the shreds, and then put the furniture back in their places.

At that moment——

The door opened lightly. A crop of hair that was tied into a pigtail could be seen.

Nagase Iori gingerly poked her head in and was about to slip the rest of her body into the club room, but she froze halfway.

For an instant, she appeared puzzled and pushed her brows together, but then her eyes widened in shock.

Nagase"s eyes scanned around the club room.

She caught sight of the fallen tables and chairs, and the shreds of paper vellum on the floor.

Nagase stood motionless and gazed at the scene as though trying to sear the sight into her eyes.

And then, she closed the door without entering the room.

[ ——will not forgive you. I will not forgive you. No matter how you apologize, I will never forgive you for getting others besides me involved! ]

It was Nagase"s "Sentiment Transmission".

Anger. Hatred. Anger. Hatred. Hatred. Anger. Anger. Hatred. Anger. Hatred. Anger. Anger. Hatred.

An uncontrollable, boiling sentiment comprised with only anger and hatred flowed into Taichi.

[ Should I make you cry? Should I make you scream? How should I make you pay for it Setouchi Kaoru!!! ]

Taichi"s view became shrouded in red. He felt his blood boiling. He thought he couldn"t breathe.

A black, destructive fire raged about, as though seeking to incinerate everything in the way.

He felt his conscious consumed, dominated, overpowered... He felt his stomach turned.

Taichi shook his head, and regained his balance. He felt a terrible chill from what he just felt.

It was the most intense and powerful "Sentiment Transmission" he had ever experienced.

This is bad—— Taichi"s instinctively thought.

A sentiment as powerful as that could not be controlled by mere reason alone.

This rage would only be appeased by erupting.

"Don"t do it, Iori!"

Inaba cried at the door which Iori was standing at earlier.

"Inaba, did Nagase"s "Sentiment Transmission"..."

"Taichi felt it too?"

Taichi nodded towards Inaba"s question.

"Eh? What"s wrong, Inaba-chan? Taichi?"

"Iori... She came to the club room... Yet..."

Judging by Aoki and Yui"s tone, they had not receive the "Sentiment Transmission" just now.

Taichi said to Inaba:

"Inaba, that rage..."

"This is bad. If we don"t stop her, this could escalate into an injury incident."

"Should we go after her?"

"Yeah. Yui and Aoki, you guys help clean up the club room for now. Let"s go, Taichi!"

Taichi and Inaba raced out of the room.

"Why didn"t you ask Kiriyama and Aoki to help?"

Taichi inquired Inaba after their leaving the club room.

"...I don"t think Iori"d want this to spread."

True enough, that sentiment back there was not exactly the nicest thing one would come across. Not only it did not match people"s usual image of Nagase, she most likely wouldn"t want others to know about it.

The two descended the stairs of the recreational building.

"Besides, I already have a plan. I know how to intercept her."

Inaba took out her cell phone.

"Judging by how she went ballistic, I doubt she"d be able to think with a level head, and would probably be blindly searching all over the place... Ah, Fujis.h.i.+ma? Sorry for calling you all of the sudden. Do you happen to know Setouchi Kaoru"s number?"

Inaba had a point. If they knew what Nagase was after, it shouldn"t be hard intercept her.

"Okay... Thank you, I"ll pay you back after this."

Inaba ended the call, said "She"s going to text me the number," and put away her phone.

"I must say though, I thought she was going to ask for something in return. I didn"t expect her to let me have Setouchi"s number without asking any questions. It"s almost as though she knew how urgent the situation is..."

As expected Fujis.h.i.+ma Maiko, her ability to read the situation was impressive as well.

"But... why Setouchi Kaoru?"

Taichi felt puzzled and murmured to himself.

Did those two have any dispute? After all, Setouchi had been provoking the others to isolate Nagase. Not to mention Nagase seemed to be 100% certain that Setouchi was responsible for the ravaging of the club room. How was she so certain of it?

"Here it is."

Inaba picked up her phone once more, and dialed Setouchi"s number.

Setouchi was still in school, so they were able to meet up fairly quickly.

"W-What do you want from me? Calling me all of the sudden, and having me come all the way out here to the back of the school building."

Setouchi combed her brown, long hair using her fingers and asked.

"You seem to be in for a bit of trouble. But don"t worry, we"ll stop her when she comes." Inaba replied.

"Who"s... "she"?"

Setouchi seemed unusually tense. Taichi found it a bit suspicious.

"......Nagase Iori."

Inaba made a dramatic pause on purpose before telling the name.

Setouchi"s body jolted a little——she seemed very frightened.

Could it really be that, the one responsible for the ravaging of the club room was Setouchi? No, we shouldn"t jump to conclusions yet—— Taichi thought and suppressed his anger.

"I-I don"t know anything, it wasn"t me."

n.o.body asked her any questions, yet she started trying to make excuses. Taichi was finding it more and more suspicious.

He peeked towards Inaba by his side. She was staring fiercely at Setouchi.

"Anyway," Inaba spoke. "Let"s move to one of the cla.s.srooms. There is something to I want to ask you about."

As she finished her sentence, Taichi saw a figure came at a distance ahead of them——Nagase Iori was standing right before their eyes.

"Puff... Puff..." She was gasping uncontrollably.

How did she find this place? No, it would not matter anymore.

Even from afar, one could see that Nagase was trembling in rage.

She did not hold back a single bit of her emotion, her rage openly displayed itself on the surface, and her face was filled with utmost ferocity and fury and not a shred of innocence or elegance.

There was not a single trace left of whom was said to be the Number One Beauty of the Grade.

Her rage was so intense that it could destroy Taichi"s image of Nagase Iori in his heart.

"...I won"t forgive you——!!!"

Nagase let out a ear-piercing howl and charged at Setouchi.

She was sprinting at an unusual speed... She was fast!

And then, Nagase raised her fist.

"Ehh...!? Ah..."

Setouchi startled and was rooted on the spot.

Not good, we have to do something quick.

Taichi took a step. Inaba next to him did the same as well.

"Stop it, Nagase!" "Wait, Iori!"

Taichi and Inaba blocked in front of Nagase and kept her from advancing.

Nagase then attempted to pa.s.s around them.

With no other option, Taichi grabbed onto her body to restrain her. Inaba followed suit.

"Oi...!"

"Don"t stop me, Taichi! Inaban! I won"t forgive that woman! I won"t forgive her!!!"

Inaba shouted over Nagase and said: "Setouchi! Hurry and get out of here! Now!"

"...Ah ...G-Got it."

Setouchi, who was still frozen from fear, regained her senses as she heard Inaba"s call and made her escape.

"Stop right there, Setouchi!!!"

Nagase screamed furiously at the escaping Setouchi as she struggled violently.

"Don"t stop me! Don"t stop me you two! Don"t stop me... Don"t stop me please...!"

Nagase"s strength began to dissipate.

"Don"t stop me... Don"t stop——I"m sorry."

As Nagase apologized, she collapsed and sat on the ground.

"I"m sorry I"m sorry I"m sorry I"m sorry I"m sorry I"m sorry I"m sorry... This is all my fault!"

She sank on the ground. Tears began to flow from her eyes.

"I was only... Ohh... I"m sorry... Why... How did it... come to this... I was... I only..."

Suddenly, Nagase fell into silent. She wiped her tears with her sleeve. The next moment, her expression vanished.

It was as though she had severed herself from this world.

Taichi released Nagase"s hand. Her arm dropped silently from mid air.

Taichi recollected the events from before.

«Heartseed» appeared once again and triggered the "Sentiment Transmission" phenomenon.

However, they encouraged each other, believing that they could overcome this phenomenon, and decided to live their lives like they usually would.

During this time, Taichi confessed his love to Nagase, and then Nagase rejected Taichi.

Due to the influence of "Sentiment Transmission", they had exchanged many feelings.

And then, negative rumours about Nagase began to spread. Students in the cla.s.s began to shun Nagse.

At that same period, Nagase herself started to behave strangely as well.

Nagase even went as far as rejecting everyone"s help and continued on alone.

Even though the cla.s.s"s negative criticism towards Nagase had been dissipating lately, her att.i.tude did not show any improvement.

Then came the incident of ravaging of the CRC club room.

——And now, Nagase, expressionless, merely sat silently on the ground.

It was as though the commotion right before now had never happened, the scene fell into complete silence.

What should I say to her? Taichi contemplated, but could not come up with an answer.

As he was pondering, however, Inaba spoke.

"...Hey, Iori."

She said in a kind, soft tone.

"Would you like to have a heart to heart talk with me? I won"t take no for an answer."

A bold smile lit across on Inaba"s face.

Inaba led Nagase forward.

"Hmm, there"s no harm for you to stick around at the beginning." Since that was what Inaba insisted, Taichi followed behind them.

Inaba stopped by at the teacher"s office, coaxed Gotou into lending them a key, and headed towards an empty cla.s.sroom.

She opened the door. The three entered the cla.s.sroom. Then, Inaba locked the door from the inside.

"What are we using an empty cla.s.sroom for? Actually, why are we locking the doors too?"

"Er, how should I say it... I"m about to start a locked-room deathmatch."

"...Don"t do anything crazy okay?"

Though Taichi must admit he was pretty excited at hearing "locked-room deathmatch". It sounded like something that would show up in pro wrestling; it would"ve been even better if they added a "no escape" flavour on top.

Since this cla.s.sroom was usually not in use, all the desks were stacked up in the corners and had a wide clearing between the two entrances of the cla.s.sroom.

Inaba and Nagase stood in that s.p.a.ce face to face, while Taichi spectated from the side.

Inaba was standing arm crossed with her back straight in an arrogant gesture.

Nagase, on the other hand, was staring silently at the empty floor of the room.

And then Inaba took the initiative, and began the battle.

"I"ve said to you before right? That I wished you to tell me your problems. Since I can"t understand anything with only those fragments of information, I wanted you to tell me everything."

Inaba was taking act using her own method, for the sake of Nagase.

"Now that I think about it though, that was a stupid request. After all, I was asking you to expose yourself for nothing... especially when it was something you didn"t want others to find out."

Nagase merely listened to Inaba"s words with an expressionless look on her.

"I didn"t expose any part of myself, yet I asked you to open your heart. It did seem a little selfish, it wasn"t fair to you at all."

Nagase jolted a little.

"So let"s make it fairer this time. Apparently my request will pain you. In that case, I will pay the same amount of pain of my own as a price."

A thought suddenly came to Taichi——Why do I feel like I"ve seen this before?

"As of now we are under the influence of "Sentiment Transmission," which transmits our thoughts to others including those we don"t want them to know. That being said, to ask whether this phenomenon would send out everything, it is actually not the case. This you probably knew already right?"

What is Inaba up to?

"Therefore, I... am going to confess something extremely embarra.s.sing."

...Don"t tell me...

"I"d be shamed to death. So Iori, you too, no matter how much you resist the idea, you gotta tell us why you"re so down and rejecting everyone around you."

"I will confess myself, so you must do the same"——Isn"t this like during "Personality Exchange"...

"Oi, Inaba! Isn"t this what I"ve done to you before!?"

Taichi was going to remain silent, but could no longer hold himself.

"You have a problem with that?"

"Very big problem! What"s the point of doing this anyway!? Actually, where"s the logic in this to begin with!?"

And stop copying me!

"You did this yourself too! If you don"t get the point, go ask yourself again! And try to understand how I and the others feel will you!? You freaking jerk!"

"Are you raging back at me!?"

"I am raging back at you!"

"You"re admitting it!?"

"Shut up! Actually, I"m talking to Iori right now! If you"re gonna keep nagging then get out!"

True enough, they would be pretty much ignoring Nagase if they kept this up. Tacihi realised this, and reluctantly compromised.

"I was interrupted... Anyway, from this moment on I"ll be saying something extremely embarra.s.sing."

Inaba had no intention to change her plan.

"And since we"re still under the influence of "Sentiment Transmission", this conversation can become risky; not to mention, I"m going to be confessing this in front of the guy I like. So under these circ.u.mstances right now, my level of shame has risen to its peak!"

Was that why he was arranged to spectate in this position? Taichi finally realised this fact.

That being said, in the eyes of a bystander...

"...This is plain stupid."

"This is what you"ve done before no!? You even said you"ve used me and other girls to mast—"

"Don"t—Don"t—Don"t say it! Why did you almost blurt it out!?"

Taichi, horrified, managed to stop Inaba from continuing the sentence.

He was an inch away from being wiped off the face of earth (in terms of his place in society).

"Make another noise and I"m gonna kick you out for real, get it!?"

"...I wouldn"t have said a word if it weren"t for your bringing up strange things, Inaba. Actually, if that"s the case, I should really be the one to be making embarra.s.sing con—"

"Shut up! To h.e.l.l with your "I should really be," you idiot~!"

Since they couldn"t leave Nagase aside like this, Taichi painfully decided to shut his mouth.

"Well then, first of all..."

Fufufu, Inaba smiled mischievously:

"As everyone already know, I love Taichi."

...Kinda wish she wouldn"t say "everyone already know," this is embarra.s.sing.

"This feeling"s been growing stronger lately, I even started dreaming about him."

Nagase remained silent and listened to Inaba"s speech.

"And then, just recently, I finally had this dream where I and Taichi had almost entered restricted footage... Since I woke up right away, I didn"t really do anything."

Inaba... I"m the one who"s more embarra.s.sed here you know, Taichi thought. What kind of punishment game was this anyway? He could feel his cheeks burning.

"The moment I woke, my heart was pounding like crazy. My chest started wrenching. And at the same time... I felt lonely."

Oi! Please don"t tell me that... this is also...

"I felt lonely... I felt like I couldn"t breathe... How should I say it, I felt... something itching, and I started thinking about Taichi and——"

"What the h.e.l.l are you saying!? You"re a pervert right!? You"re a pervert!"

"Shut up pervert! You did the exact same thing yourself so you"ve got no right to call out on me!"

"Y-Y-You said I did the same thing... That was... Okay fine maybe I did!"

You could at least have a bit of shame you know! Taichi wished from the bottom of his heart——

[ c.r.a.p. This is so embarra.s.sing. I wanna cry. ]

It was Inaba Himeko"s "Sentiment Transmission," her feelings were transmitted to Taichi.

He had forgotten due to the frantic situation just now, but now he remembered.

Really, he should have known by now.

Even though she was daring and compet.i.tive, and would always put on a haughty front, Inaba was in fact an ever worrying, timid, and shy girl at heart.

[ But I"m not gonna cry. I will not cry. That being said, thank goodness you"re here Taichi. Thank you for stopping me on the way. ]

However, she was also a strong, persevering girl who was able to conquer her own weakness with the sheer power of will.

Did Nagase receive this "Sentiment Transmission"? Taichi had no way to tell. But, if it were Nagase, even if she didn"t receive it, she would still be able to feel it.

Nagase bit her lip.

——Thump. Inaba stomped her foot on the floor.

"How was that! ...It was a little sloppy at the end, but this is embarra.s.sing right? Not to mention, I said it right in front of both you and Taichi. This would"ve probably hurt you guys, but I dropped the bomb anyway! So you don"t have to hold back. Whatever bomb you"ve got, just bring it on! If that wasn"t enough for you, I can drop you a couple more bombs!"

True to Inaba"s style, not only did she copy Taichi"s method, she even upgraded it.

"I"m not done yet!"

Inaba"s advancement had not stopped yet.

"You had also told me before... that I was irresponsible, as I started out trying to pair you and Taichi up... yet I b.u.t.t in and went "I like Taichi too" afterwards... and that I openly admit it just because you were willing to support me..."

A lot had happened between Nagase and Inaba. A whole lot of things. Taichi had heard bits of them afterwards: Inaba had believed herself to be a worthless, unwanted person, but Nagase rejected that notion, and told Inaba that she was better than she thought she was.

"After being reprimanded by Iori... I didn"t know what I should do. I tried to come up with an answer..., but in the end... I realised it couldn"t be helped!"

It was a declaration that she had given up searching for a solution.

"If it was the me from before... If it was the rational, logical me from before, I would never accept this conclusion! But now I"ve accepted it! Even without anything like logical or theoretical or objective so-called evidence, I will... I will... I..."

Inaba, who had been striding on with a surging vigour, lost her momentum for the first time.

Inaba worried more than anyone; she had long been imprisoned in her negative outlook, and was unable to open herself towards others, entangling herself in a never ending loop of doubt; she believed herself to be worthless, unwanted; she was unable to trust herself or the others, and therefore deeply despised herself.

However, those had become things of the past.

"I might still be lacking a little compared with other people..."

She said shrinkingly, but her eyes did not waver and continued to fixate firmly on Nagase.

"But I... believe in myself!"

Inaba proclaimed determinedly.

"This may be irresponsible, but since I can no longer stop myself, I"m just gonna go on ahead and admit it! Am I shameless? Yes! But, so what if I am?"

She went on ahead and frankly admitted it.

"If you have a problem with that, don"t hesitate to say it, I"ll take it all in. Except that, I"m not that strong, so chances are I will depress myself over it."

But Inaba remained frank and forthright. She would not yield. She would not escape.

"But even then, even if I will feel depressed many, many times, I will stand up again!"

Inaba Himeko would not run away. She would stand up and confront the path she"d chosen.

"I will continue to be shameless! So feel free to become shameless like me! Be irresponsible too if you want! In fact I"m talking very irresponsibly right now, so there"s no need to consider my feelings! Just stop thinking alone and driving yourself into a wall! I can"t stand watching you from the side like that!"

Inaba took a deep breath, gathering every bit of air she could in her lungs, and shouted:

"This is all about me!"

Inaba"s voice echoed throughout the empty cla.s.sroom.

How much of these words would also echo within Nagase"s heart?

Nagase kept her head low, and bit on her lip once again. Her hands were clenching tightly on her uniform skirt. Her body was trembling slightly.

"—— ...already."

Nagase murmured something.

Taichi realised that this was the first time Nagase had spoken since entering this cla.s.sroom.

"...Hmm?"

Inaba turned her head slightly. Taichi, too, turned his ear towards Nagase.

"Enough... already."

It was a flat and impa.s.sive voice.

"What do you mean—"

"I said I"ve had enough already!"

Nagase screamed, interrupting Inaba.

And then, she continued on:

"Cut it out already. What was that supposed to be? You"re... You"re.... You"re like..."

Nagase exhaled briefly, and contracted her body, as though she was charging up strength for an incoming outburst.

And then, as she lifted herself, she filled her lungs with as much air as she could and unleashed:

"You"re like a bunch of IDIOTS————!!!"

Her voice boomed so loudly one could almost feel the room shaken by it. Fortunately, nearly all of the cla.s.srooms on this floor were empty, but the noise might still reach the floor below.

The shocking volume had left Taichi dumbfounded as well.

"A-Are you alright, Nagase?"

Upon hearing that question, Nagase responded with a shady grin.

"Sure, sure. That confession was embarra.s.sing, it was sooooo touching... And?"

Nagase"s eyes lost their gleam completely. And then, she squinted her eyes and laughed.

"Yes, you"re right, I know how this goes. I"m supposed to feel touched here, break into tears and go "I"m sorry... I actually...," and cue the happy ending right there, am I right? Well, too bad! I can"t act according to your wis.h.!.+ Don"t think everything will run perfectly according to your pre-written little script!"

Ha! Nagase snorted mockingly.

And then, she snapped.

"I"ve had enough already! I"m sick of it! Really sick of it! How many times do you have to repeat this c.r.a.p!? Don"t you ever get bored of it!? How are you even able to repeat this so many times!?"

No matter what reason she might have, isn"t she going too far? Taichi thought, and decided to step in:

"Oi, Nagase, don"t you know how much courage Inaba mustered to do what she just did? She was doing it for your sake."

Even if it was Nagase, Taichi could not tolerate her disdaining Inaba like that.

Nagase"s expression wavered for a moment, her adamant momentum had suddenly dwindled. However, she abruptly clutched onto her hair with her right hand as though wanting to forcefully shake off her doubt, and retorted:

"H-How should I know!? I"ve never asked you to do any of this..."

She paused, and continued:

"Enough already... I"m sick of all of this. Why am I being forced to act like some sort of tragedy lead character!? It"s so unreal! It has to be fiction... But this is obviously the reality!"

The CRC had been going through many bizarre, abnormal situations. However, as unrealistic as they may seem, for Nagase and the rest of them, it was without a doubt a crus.h.i.+ng reality.

"How many more times do I have to expose my feelings!? How many more times does my heart need to be trodden on!? How many more times, tell me!!!"

The direction of the air changed slightly.

"How many more times do I have to go through these phenomena nonsense!? What the h.e.l.l is «Heartseed» anyway!? Why is it the name of a freaking plant!? This is ridiculous! And how on earth does he possess people!? These things, everything... None of these make any sense!"

The five of them from the CRC had been fighting against this abnormality together, and had confronted these phenomena several times. Because to this, Taichi had sometimes believed that they would be able to fight on like this.

However, Inaba had once warned him before (around the time of when they were going through the "Time Regression" phenomenon during their winter break, if Taichi"s memory served him right). She once said, if they continued to walk on the thin ice several times like this, someone was bound to slip through. It would only be natural for someone to break under such abnormality.

"Just stop it already! How many more times do I have to suffer like this!? How am I supposed to take it!? I can"t... I can"t stand it anymore!"

Taichi had never expected that it would happen on Nagase, and that it had already happened on Nagase.

Truth to be told, as they had persisted through «Heartseed"s» phenomena, even though it wasn"t their own wish, they were forced to grow and become stronger.

They had overcome several crisis and were no longer beginners——This was how Taichi perceived it sometimes. Hence, he had underestimated these phenomena.

But now, Taichi realised that he was a fool for underestimating these phenomena.

He was too deeply influenced by the abnormality. His senses had dulled over time.

Under these kinds of condition, nothing should be taken lightly.

They were responsible for not noticing Nagase"s problem until she had finally snapped.

Nagase had stopped speaking, so Taichi took the opportunity and spoke:

"...You"re right... It was only natural... You"re in pain... right? We"re sorry, for not noticing your pain."

"...It isn"t like that."

And then, a shaken Inaba spoke as well:

"...I"ve never expected you to be this troubled... I"ve even said someone is bound to end up like this myself... thinking that I"d know better... We"re sorry, you"ve done nothing wrong, it"s not surprising that you"ve changed this much... But if that"s that case, you don"t need to push yourself, just feel free to rely on us... Until you recover, until you can stand up and say "I"m alright" again, we"ll do anything——"

"Like I said... it isn"t like that!!!"

Nagase screamed vehemently, covering her eyes with one hand at the same time.

The exchanging fire of words suspended. The cla.s.sroom fell into complete silence.

No one spoke. Normally, they would not be able to continue any conversation like this.

Normally.

However, they were not in a normal world.

The suspended time began flowing again.

——Because of "Sentiment Transmission."

[ What kind of me... are you antic.i.p.ating? I can"t stand it any more! ]

Flowing out from Nagase were her inner voice and feelings.

Nagase"s sentiment was dark and chaotic. Taichi could feel it directly, yet he could not define what it was.

""What kind of me"... "antic.i.p.ating"... what do you mean?"

Inaba asked. She seemed to have received Nagase"s "Sentiment Transmission" as well.

"Eh... No... Wait..."

Confounded, Nagase shook her head violently.

Nagase had been abused by her father, and thus had learned to adapt her persona according to different people around her, unknowingly losing her own perception of self on the way.

But as time pa.s.sed, Nagase had experienced many things. Even though she was a person with many faces, Nagase had already accepted them as part of herself, and was slowly beginning to realise the true self that she had been searching for.

However, was Nagase still questioning her own sense of self in the end?

If that was the case, Taichi wanted to tell her one thing.

"Nagase, you don"t need to feel afraid. You don"t need to stress yourself, as long as you remain normal, everyone will feel happy, everyone will love you as—"

"I said I can"t do it anymore!"

Nagase exclaimed and interrupted Taichi, but as soon as she did that, Nagase made a weak "Ah..." and stood rooted, at loss.

——I said I can"t do it anymore?

Why was she saying discouraging things like that? Maybe she was traumatized from her current instability, but at the same time, Taichi believed Nagase to be an amazing girl, as she could bring the brightest light to people around her... This was what he antic.i.p.ated.

Taichi remembered.

The five of them had exchanged their feelings with each other, they bonds had became stronger than ever. Not to mention, due to the influence of "Sentiment Transmission," they were able to see each other"s thought, joining their hearts with each other.

But then, how did they not notice Nagase"s state?

He felt something was wrong, yet he did not take action. Why?

One of the reason was, Nagase had been behaving very differently than the Nagase they knew, which caused him to hesitate.

The other reason was... He believed that, if it were Nagase, it would be alright.

She may suffer from a little instability from time to time, but everyone believed that Nagase was a strong-willed girl.

Not to mention, ever since «Heartseed» triggered the first phenomenon, even though Nagase had suffered the most, she had never given up, and had been holding on till the end.

Even if she had fallen right now, Nagase would still recover in the end——Everyone believed her to be a strong-willed person like that.

If it were the normal Nagase, it would be alright.

If it were Nagase, it would be——

...If it were Nagase?

Then, what if it weren"t Nagase?

[ What have I... No, what have we imposed on Iori? ]

Inaba"s thought sounded in Taichi"s mind as he received her "Sentiment Transmission."

Taichi began to put the pieces together in his mind, including the one he got from Inaba.

The Nagase that he knew... No, the Nagase Iori that he believed he knew, what kind of girl was she?

Nagase was able to display all kinds of expressions, and because of that, she was also somewhat unstable; there existed darker sides of her, as well as weaker sides. However, at heart she was kind and beautiful, gentle and cheerful, and had an unyielding strong will that could overcome any adversity——Nagase was such a girl... One could even say she was truly an amazing girl...

However, could it be that...

The puzzle piece in his heart, the puzzle piece in Inaba"s heart, and the puzzle piece displayed by Nagase.

The Nagase who snapped from the frustration towards the abnormal phenomena... felt like a normal person. Taichi could sympathize with her pain, but it felt——different from the Nagase he knew of.

Nagase was a perfect, pretty girl while possessing a unique, dark side at the same time, which made her seem deep and mysterious at times. She had an attractive charm and a hardy spirit. Nagase was such a superb girl——Taichi had always believed it that way, however...

Those scattered pieces, the pieces that would have never come together without "Sentiment Transmission"——fell into place in Taichi"s heart.

[ Could it be that Nagase is actually a much more ordinary, normal girl? ]

Taichi"s "Sentiment Transmission" was transmitted to the remaining four members of the CRC.

"Nagase..."

Taichi called out weakly.

"I can"t... I can"t stand it anymore..."

As though she had finally reached her limit, tears trickled down Nagase"s face.

And then Nagase"s feelings, thoughts and the voice of her heart, flowed from her lips.

"I can"t stand it any longer... I can"t do it! I can"t keep up with everyone"s expectation! Bringing happiness and loved by everyone, a person like that is too perfect! I can"t become someone like that!"

This was what they——what he antic.i.p.ated Nagase Iori to be.

"In fact, I"m really a cold and mean person! Everyone might have... noticed this from "Sentiment Transmission" already. Taichi and Inaban especially, after hearing what I"ve said earlier, you should know better!"

What Nagase Iori truly was.

"But even then, I tried to look cheerful! That was because... everyone seemed happier that way, and more importantly, I felt really happy too!"

These were Nagase"s true words.

Nagase dashed her tears away, and took a few breath.

"I wasn"t acting... I really wanted to become that kind of person from the bottom of my heart, so I kept it up, which is why that particular "me"... was not a lie. It was me, the ideal and perfect me... but..."

Taichi and Inaba listened quietly to Nagase"s confession.

"I"m tired of trying to be the ideal "me" needed by others!!!"

Nagase cried at the top of her voice.

They had never noticed. They did not notice.

Nagase had been pus.h.i.+ng herself all these times.

Especially Taichi, who had been the closest one watching her.

"I"m a coward! I"m worthless! I"m despicable! I"m petulant! I"m a loner! I"m much worse than everyone would ever think I am! I even... I even said terrible things to Inaban who"d been trying so hard for me! I"m the most awful person you"d even find!"

While Taichi would not conclude that Nagase was a bad person just because of that, he was very surprised indeed, as it felt very different from the Nagase that he had imagined.

"I"m irresponsible! I"m much more irresponsible than Inaban! I pretended to be a sweet, nice girl, putting on a perfect front... I made everyone believe that I"m that sort of girl... Yet now I get tired of it and say things like I can"t stand it!"

Nagase expressed her true feelings not through "Sentiment Transmission," but rather her own will.

"But, if I"ve acted as my ideal self once... the others would expect me to be the same next time right? If somebody wished that way, I"d have no choice but to answer to it! Because if I don"t, it would look like I"d been lying before!"

With a compelling expression, Nagase vented out every word she had been holding in.

"Being antic.i.p.ated... That was what everybody needed from me, right? I wanted to believe myself to be that kind of person too... But still, in the end... I realise that I"m not that kind of person, I even found the real me that I"ve lost before! I knew I... could no longer play the role of such an amazing person!"

Nagase, who had all kinds of faces, her first choice was the self that exceeds her own ability.

"Then again..."

Nagase muttered, and exhaled slowly. Her emotion entered a brief low point.

"If we were living an ordinary life... even if reality was different from my ideals, things wouldn"t turn into this bizarre state... I might have been able to hold on... But!"

Nagase spoke once again determinedly, conveying her feelings to others and confirming her own words at the same time.

"Who the h.e.l.l does «Heartseed» think he is!?"

The culprit who started these abnormal phenomena.

"Possessing me, throwing me into the river, saying that I"ll die... I was scared and sad, but I still urged myself to hang on till the last minute!"

This was during "Personality Exchange."

"Even if he didn"t mean to kill, but then the guy who almost murdered me popped up in front of me again. I was really scared! I kept worrying, what if he does it again... and what if I die for real this time... But even then, I tried hard to stay strong with everybody!"

This was during "Desire Unleash."

"And then many things happened, I was broken, exhausted, then he showed up again and, as though seeing through my heart, asked me "Would you like to start over again?" I was a mess so I was really shaken, but I still managed to kick him out of the way!"

This was during "Time Regression."

"I tried! I tried so hard I even wanted to praise myself! I really tried!"

Taichi knew how hard she had tried. If one could achieve that without trying, it would truly be abnormal.

However, the amount of effort she "tried with" exceeded far beyond Taichi"s imagination that it began to wear out Nagase"s spirit, pus.h.i.+ng her towards the limit.

"But I can"t keep trying like that everytime! I"ve started to feel myself being unable to keep up that amazing side of myself, unable to continue that perfect display! So I wanted to return to the original me without needing to answer to anyone"s expectation. I wanted to go back to... the me that wasn"t pretending to be someone I"m not!"

Taichi peeked at Inaba, only to find Inaba gazing silently at Nagase, motionless.

"I wanted to shake off that ideal me... and show my cold and mean side. But then came "Sentiment Transmission". I thought to myself that, if I don"t hurry, if you notice the difference between my actions and my thoughts, you would all mistake me as a "liar"... I was really afraid of that... I don"t want our memories to be mistaken as lies... It was only because I"ve tried harder before, they were not lies at all!"

She had been acting and a.s.suming all kinds of persona——as someone with that mindset, if Nagase found others questioning whether her past effort was a lie, it was not surprising that she would think that way.

"I kept telling myself to hurry... But I was very confused, I didn"t know what was going on... I didn"t know how to make the me from before disappear, I also didn"t know whether my new self would be accepted by others... I didn"t know what to do at all, my mind was in chaos, things turned worse and worse, yet I could do nothing to fix it... But then I... I... I can"t possibly do everything right all the time! Even... Even if I wanted to!"

Nagase sniffed as she finished speaking.

Taichi was unable to say anything. The flood of Nagase"s sentiment that she had been holding in and acc.u.mulating all these times had deeply shaken him.

In the end, he was unable to understand Nagase"s true nature after all.

He felt he was in no position to say anything to Nagase.

Inaba, too, had been silent and was hesitant on what to s—

"The h.e.l.l should I know, STUUUUUUUUUUUUPID!!!"

Inaba shouted very childishly.

It felt as though many things at that moment were spoiled.

"Wha—?"

Nagase startled for a moment and said:

"Y-You call me stupid..."

"You called me an idiot earlier too! By the way you talk too much! Far, far too much! So much, it ticks me off, stupid!"

Stupid stupid stuuupid~~ Inaba rattled on.

It was a frivolous tone without any sympathy.

Nagase was struck speechless, her eyes widened from bewilderment.

The heavy atmosphere was blown faraway.

Inaba dispelled that atmosphere.

Was Inaba the sort of strong-willed person who was able to do that?

However, Inaba, who had been staring down at Nagase, her lofty aura began to subside.

"...Dummy."

She said weakly, and sweetly.

"...By the way, I"m gonna say this first... I"m shocked, okay? I still am... I could cry any second..."

True enough, Inaba was strong, but frail at the same time.

Her trembling and moistened voice continued:

"...I couldn"t even tell... what my most important friend truly felt... How useless can I be..."

Inaba lowered her head, her jet black hair veiled her features. Frustrated at her own carelessness, her hand clenched tightly on the sleeve of her other hand, as though she was trying to endure her sorrow.

Then, she lifted her head and faced Nagase again.

"But I still have to tell you this! Because I believe it is important for you, and more importantly, it is my wish to tell you this!"

Inaba was frail, but still very strong in the end.

"Nothing went smoothly? Things got worse? Reached your limit? How the h.e.l.l should I know, I"ve been failing at everything too! I"ve wanted to be a smart, charming, and cute girl! But I failed! I couldn"t even get the guy I like to turn around and look at me!"

Uh, Inaba might have long succeeded in that aspect already..., Taichi remarked in his head.

"How high are your ideals anyway!? We might have unknowingly expected too much from you, but if you were going to perfectly... splendidly answer to those expectations, and thus been overexerting yourself, you"re just... being stupid, aren"t you!?"

It"s almost like our positions have reversed from then... Inaba mumbled as though recalling something. What was she referring to when she mentioned "from then"?

"I"m telling you, your perfectionism is disgusting! What do you mean by "you can"t do it so you have to give everything up"!? Isn"t that like saying the you from before was just a lie!?"

Having Inaba predicate her to be a lie, Nagase frantically replied:

"No! ...It wasn"t a lie! It was also me..."

"See! By the way I already know what your problem is! You... are just a dualist who had been dividing everything into "can do it" and "can"t do it" categories!"

As Inaba gave her verdict, Nagase widen her eyes in shock.

"Why do you have to pick sides!? Can"t keep up your ideal self from before? So you have to turn into your drastically different, mean and terrible self? What are you, stupid!? Can you be any more extreme? If you can"t keep up with your ideal self, then take some time off to keep your balance! I can"t believe you just hold it all in until you blow up in the end, your approach is awful!"

Inaba raved on endlessly, and Nagase, dumbfounded, stood frozen on the spot.

"I"m gonna cut straight to the point and tell you this right here and now! What? You think everyone"s antic.i.p.ating you? Are you nuts? Who the h.e.l.l you think you are? Why are you acting like some sort of main heroine, huh? You think people are gonna be interested in observing you? Can you be any more narcissistic!? n.o.body cares how you want to do it or what you want to become okay? STUUUUUUUUUUUPID——————!!!"

Inaba"s words were astounding.

It had practically became Inaba"s one man show.

Inaba Himeko"s word deeply rocked Nagase Iori, and Taichi along the way.

Inaba continued:

"We"ve all got our hands full with our own lives already!"

She continued her advancement.

"It"s your own f.u.c.king life, live it however the h.e.l.l you like——!!! And then the rest of us will... I will... just simply accept you——!!!"

Even Taichi, who was not involved in the conversation to begin with, was deeply moved by her. When he finally realised it, he could no longer take his eyes off Inaba.

"You"ve been working towards the wrong direction! You keep saying things like meeting expectations or not wanting to pretend any further or what your true self is like, those things don"t matter! Why did you ignore me, the one that does things the rational way, and stressed yourself on your own!? Think about what"s truly important to you!!!"

What is truly important for us? Taichi had asked himself that question during the "Desire Unleash" phenomenon.

"I need a breather!"

Inaba shouted, and started coordinating her breathing.

Her face was drenched in sweat. She wiped her forehead, and took a deep breath.

"...You seemed to be very confused at the time. But even then, you came to the club room today. Why!? And then, when you saw the mess in the club room, you went berserk. Why!? Did you think about how to handle it perfectly? You didn"t! Am I right? Try and remember those feelings you had back then!"

Inaba unscrupulously crossed her arms as she finished, and started raging towards a strange direction.

"Why the h.e.l.l am I explaining your own psyche to you anyway!? You go figure it out yourself, I"m tired, you numbskull! And besides, I"m n.o.body special either! I"m just riding along the momentum now, so no matter what I do later on, don"t you complain to me that "That"s what you said back then!" Don"t think that I can put on this strong and mighty front all year long!"

Since a few moments ago, Inaba had been blattering as she pleased.

"Well... I guess it could be something to do with your past..."

Inaba murmured gently.

"But... You"re clumsy, right? Then stop trying to look cool and pus.h.i.+ng yourself to do everything perfectly! Just be like me... We would try, we would screw up, we would fall over again and again, but we would never give up, even when we are completely covered in dirt and bruises, we would continue to march on forward!"

Inaba would never give up, even when she was completely covered in dirt and bruises, she would continue to march on forward.

Such was a pitiful sight——Wrong. Such was the most dazzling and charming woman, at least in Taichi"s eyes.

Nagase"s expression distorted.

"I really... I"ve had enough already...I can"t be like Inaban... not giving up... marching on despite being in a sorry plight... I can"t do it..."

Back before, Nagase was one who had felt depressed and sorrowful, and had even cried, but even then, would stand up once again in the end——However, the same Nagase at this moment, said she could no longer do so.

"Iori... Uch..."

Inaba wanted to continue, but stopped herself short.

She looked towards Taichi.

"Taichi... Don"t you have anything to say?"

Upon hearing Inaba"s question, Taichi reminisced about Nagase... about the person whose name was Nagase Iori.

As he entered high school, he met Nagase in his cla.s.s. At the time, his first impression of her was that she was very pretty, and would occasionally have his eyes follow her. He had thought they would simply maintain an ordinary cla.s.smate relations.h.i.+p, and had never expected to be joining the same club with her. They had gone through many things together, and he slowly found himself attracted to her, and in the end—— he fell in love with her.

Taichi spoke:

"I... I"ve told you before that I love you, Nagase, yet I"ve never properly observed you as a person. I"ve always admired you, so I might have overly idealized you. Hence, I feel it was only natural for you to reject me in the end."

He had been loving the ideal image of Nagase and failed to properly look at the real Nagase.

Even though Nagase had been pursuing her "ideal self" and hiding her "every other self" from Taichi, he still wished he could have noticed sooner.

"And now, I finally realise Nagase"s side that is ideal as well as the side that isn"t. And upon understanding this... I"ve probably said this many times already, but this time, I want to truly convey my message to the real Nagase before me."

Taichi wanted to convey those words to her.

There was no reason, no logic, just a raw feeling from the heart.

"Even then, I still like Nagase Iori."

Nagase widened her eyes.

It was something that Taichi believed from the bottom of his heart, and he had conveyed it to her.

"Ta-Taichi..."

Inaba called to him softly, and Taichi noticed what he just said might have been mistaken.

"Ah! I mean I like you as a person! Let"s forget about feelings of love for now!"

That was close, he was almost mistaken... Odd, why did he panic like that? But never mind that, he thought. If he were to proclaim that he liked a person whom he hadn"t truly understood until just now with the feelings of love, then he would have been nothing but an arrogant fool.

"Nagase may be very different from my ideals, but even then, I want to be Nagase"s friend."

Nagase"s widened eyes moistened.

"...Why...Why? You say it doesn"t matter even if the person"s different from what you imagined, then what is it ...that defines the bond between friends?"

"Who knows!"

Taichi said, attempting to follow Inaba"s example. It felt surprisingly pleasant.

Eh? Nagase felt puzzled.

"The Nagase from the past and the Nagase before me right now are indeed very different from what I"d imagined and leave a completely different impression. But whichever Nagase chooses to be, I still want to be her friend."

"But... Why?"

"No idea! I want to be your friend because I believe I want to be your friend! I think that"s the only thing that matters, so that"s all there is!"

Taich a.s.serted, after which Inaba laughed.

"Ahahaha, yes, it"s just as you said. You know it quite wel