Kokoro Connect

«Heartseed» suddenly appeared before me, Nagase Iori.

He possessed Gotou Ryuuzen, and appeared before me when I was alone, just as he did before towards Aoki and Yui.

I asked him what he wanted alarmingly. He answered: "I think it"s time to end this... I don"t know why... But I feel it"s better that I tell this news to Nagase-san..."

Rather than horrified, I felt disgusted. Actually, I wanted to beat him up very badly.

That being said, I didn"t expect that he would choose me of all people as his audience for the ending announcement... It almost seemed he was telling me that, he had been watching my every move since the start.

"I just thought of something: during the time I was depressed, it seemed that whenever I was thinking of something malicious, "Sentiment Transmission" would transmit those feelings to the others. It was intentional, wasn"t it? You purposely chose the darkest feelings among my confused, disarranged sentiment and sent them to the others."

It was terrible. It was part of the reason why I kept believing myself to be a cruel person, even though I did almost lose myself to that spectrum.

"Not really... Those were mostly Nagase-san"s, your own... not-exactly judgement... were they not?"

Uh-huh, uh-huh. Is that so. As if. I snarked in my head.

"Ahh... In that case... ——Look at the bright side, at least it"s over now... Don"t you think so?"

How should I know.

"It"s almost time... to move onto the next phase..."

"Next phase..."

I don"t like the sound of that. I really don"t like the sound of that word at all.

"Ahh... But who would have thought, that I would establish this kind of relations.h.i.+p with you all... I"ve always believe this to be interesting, but this has surpa.s.sed my expectations... I am an odd one after all... ain"t I? Perhaps that"s why a presence like that one decided to intervene..."

«Heartseed» thought he was an odd one... It seemed. He was an ent.i.ty beyond our imagination, yet his remark made him seem human. Could it be that we had overlooked something important on «Heartseed»?

That being said, even though I didn"t quite feel it at first, now I... began to feel scared. I thought I was slowly getting used to it, but apparently it was still kind of unnerving to deal with «Heartseed» on my own.

"Well then, it"s almost time... I should be going..."

«Heartseed» said and turned around to leave.

Now that I thought about it, «Heartseed» was merely possessing Gotou"s body. If he had to leave, he could always do so by leaving Gotou"s body on the spot. Yet, «Heartseed» rarely ever did that. Why? Was it because it would raise suspicion if Gotou found himself waking up in unfamiliar places too many times? It was just my instinct, but for some reason, I kept feeling that it was not the case.

Was I the only one who felt «Heartseed» had changed a lot since we had first met?

"Hey, your relations.h.i.+p with us... When will it ever end?"

I did not expect him to answer, so I was merely mumbling to myself.

However, this must be one of those crazy days, or maybe he really had changed:

He turned around back towards me.

"That, of course... I do not know."

Just as I thought he was going to answer me properly too. How disappointing.

Thought so, I muttered in my heart. «Heartseed» was vague as always. He would never give us any solid answer.

In the end, nothing had changed...

Just as I thought that...

Perhaps something did change after all.

"Ahh... However——"

Monday. Setouchi Kaoru came to school wearing black, short hair. She had completely redid her once brown, long hair. At first, n.o.body realised it was Setouchi, and asked "Who"s that?"

Her change was completely unexpected, hence there was a minor commotion in the cla.s.s.

Setouchi"s friends were too bewildered to talk to her. In the end, it was I who started a conversation with Setouchi:

"You"re still wearing those earrings."

"Mmm. I really like these earrings."

"Say, Kaoru-chan... Don"t you think you look amazingly cute right now!? The pure, innocent style suits you perfectly!"

"Iori! Are you trying to say I wasn"t cute before!?"

Me and Setouchi, ...Kaoru had become friends.

As we laughed and bickered, my friend——Nakayama Mariko came over to us.

"Whoa, whoa, what is going on~!? Tell me, Iori~"

I had treated her horribly before, yet she was still willing to smile at me.

I felt really lucky. I was very happy that I was able to have such great friends!

I had been thinking before. I must apologize to everyone, and explain many things to them. However, it seemed I didn"t need to worry too much anymore.

"Just as I thought... as expected from students of cla.s.s 1C. Well done."

Our ever lofty cla.s.s representative——Fujis.h.i.+ma Maiko, mumbled to herself.

By the way, it was probably my imagination... but those creepy stares from Fujis.h.i.+ma, which had disappeared for some time, seemed to have reawakened... Or was I just being paranoid?

Due to that incident, we hardly made any progress in our preparation this past Sat.u.r.day and Sunday. Therefore, on Monday, the CRC immediately began working on the club presentation. I, too, worked as hard as I could to make up for my slacking off before. Setouchi volunteered to help us as well.

The materials that we had managed to prepare before the presentation event, compared to what we had made before, were not exactly what we could consider outstanding.

However, due to the detailed data we had obtained from our investigations, and the oral report skills we had learned from endless rehearsing, plus the performance that Inaba suggested to me (she said: "You have to do this at least to make up your part"), our CRC presentation still managed to be very successful.

By the way, Inaba"s suggestion was to have me, accordingly to the content being introduced, performing a "Nagase Iori"s instant changing cosplay show."

Ahhhh~ It was extremely embarra.s.sing just thinking about it.

Maid outfit, cheongsam, pro-wrestling suit ("That"s definitely a gorgeous bikini!" by male audience.) ...Fine, I admit I was very enthusiastic on the stage! Actually, it was more like I had completely given myself up!

Because of our, in a sense, legendary presentation (it might even become an unhealthy tradition) not only did it earn the CRC a high score, it had also became a hot topic in the teacher"s office. Needless to say, Gotou heard about it too. He then came to us and said:

"You guys... especially Nagase, have worked really hard. Those from the Jazz Band too... Ah, I"ve seen their performance. It was the most superb performance I"ve ever seen. They must have practised for a long time. Seeing the efforts of both clubs... I am deeply touched even though I hadn"t paid much attention about it the whole time! I couldn"t bring myself to abandon either side, so I"ve been thinking, whether there"s anyway to continue to be both club"s advisor."

It was a touching speech... That was, if you ignore the part after this.

"I thought about it, then I realised one thing: Due to regulations, I can only hold the position of a club advisor for one club. However, my actions are not restricted at all. If that"s the case, I can just continue to be the advisor for the CRC, and visit the Jazz Band to practice with them. That way, we can preserve our existing status... Hoho, how"s that? I a.n.a.lysed the rigid notion of choosing only one side from a whole new perspective, and came up with a completely different solution! I"m a genius...Ow ow ow ow, t—that hurts, Inaba-san!"

"You should have done that since the start if that was the case, you freaking moron——!!!"

Inaba performed a grappling hold stance on Gotou.

I had been wondering, where did Inaba learn these moves? I should ask her later.

Those men who abused and kidnapped Inaba were no longer a problem.

Since it was Inaba who initiated the aggression plus the fact that we had also physically attacked them, they were not sent to the police. However, Inaba seemed to have utilized the photos she took from the abandoned factory and exercised a little bit of public power through Fujis.h.i.+ma"s father, and did some work behind the scene.

In any case, allegedly those men would no longer cause anymore trouble.

...That being said, as they were discussing countermeasures, Inaba and Fujis.h.i.+ma both emitted a dark and sinister aura. I was too terrified to inquire them for any details.

And then, Taichi and Inaba started going out.

Yui and Aoki were surprised, but congratulated them nonetheless. I, too, congratulated them as I would myself.

"...Is this really okay?"

Unsure of herself, Inaba asked me hesitantly, but I replied her from the deepest depth of my heart: "Me and Taichi"s love had already ended. You don"t have to worry."

I had originally thought that, even though Inaba might bully Taichi from time to time, they would surely become a cute, heart-warming couple. However, I had never expected Inaba to be completely open about her deredere side.

She was so deredere, I could no longer dub her "Inaban," but "Dereban" instead.

Would she be able to restrain herself a little before the new semester starts?

...At this rate, it might become annoying.

Thinking back, my life was certainly a colourful one.

Many, many things had happened.

It might sound odd coming from me, but would it be a little too dramatic?

Should I write them into a book in the future? I thought half-seriously and half-jokingly.

But it was all thanks to them, that I was able to learn many things. This was the truth.

This time, too, I had realised what truly mattered in life.

If I hadn"t realise it, I would have missed out on a significant part of my life——It really mattered that much.

It was so simple and natural. People might even wonder, how come I hadn"t realise it sooner?

However, to "truly understand what truly mattered in the most meaningful sense," and not just superficially, was actually easier said than done.

Follow your will. Live a life that you like.

That was very important, but at the same time, very difficult to understand.

Needless to say, this didn"t mean I could just do whatever I want simply because I wanted to.

Sometimes, one must calmly observe the situation and carefully plan ahead——Like what I and Taichi did when Inaba was kidnapped.

And then one must never trouble the others——Like how both I and Setouchi lost control of ourselves this time.

I believe both to be very important, but if I obsessed myself over either side too much, I would lose sight of my true goal.

How rational should I be? How considerate should I be? Even if I spent my whole life trying, I would probably never be able to find a sure answer.

I could only keep thinking, keep trying, and as close as I could, reach out for the correct answer. Especially for clumsy people like me. I should never give up easily. Even when I was completely covered in dirt and bruises, I must strive for the best.

This was probably the first time since I developed a sense of awareness, that I understood the meaning of "be honest to yourself."

I envied those who were able to realise that naturally without the need of any extraordinary event. I really thought those people were amazing.

But for someone who tends to misinterpret things like me, they would need to take a longer path.

But even if I had to take the longer path, it did not necessary mean that I would fail.

I knew I could do it.

I had already realised that.

Now then, as someone like that, what should Nagase Iori do?

Perhaps love after all?

Love is a wonderful thing.

My most important first love had taught me that.

I could never thank him enough. Thank you.

Well then, the climax of my life, my first year in high school, was nearing its end.

Actually, scratch that. It would be too early to call this the climax of my life.

Life is a long journey. You would never know what is coming next.

It could be something so dramatic that it would dwarf everything I had experienced so far.

I mean, simply promoting from first year to second year meant that there would be many new encounters.

And after promoting, we would be changing our cla.s.ses, and then there would be new students.

Would any of those new students join the Cultural Research Club? But they might catch the attention of those bizarre ent.i.ties. I believed we must consider this carefully.

If possible, I hoped to get a kouhai or two to join, and partic.i.p.ate in club activities together happily.

As long as we were happy, there would be no problem.

I was still immature. I had brought many troubles to people around me. At the same time, I had received many help from people around me.

I hoped that one day, when people around me were in trouble, I could help them the same way they did me.

To help, and be helped. I would continue to live that way.

Believe in the path I had chosen.

Believe in this path I walked on, and it would become my path.

To find my true self, was to believe in myself.

It wouldn"t matter even if I failed on the way.

Because by then, people around me would surely reach out to me.

March on forward.

Enjoy my life today!

Ah, speaking of which.

Could what «Heartseed» said back then be true?

"——It will be alright... I can... already see the path to the ending..."

Really?