VOLUME 1
Chapter 1: Part 2
The afternoon cla.s.ses also safely came to a close. I slept through them though.
That afternoon sun was criminal. I seriously was about to die. Afterwards, all that was left to do was to wait for the sun to completely set and set off for home.
I looked at the school grounds illuminated under the setting sun. Like children playing at the park, the track and field club was running around the orange track. Everyone was smiling as if they were doing something really fun. As I watched the athletic girls with their firm bodies, I understood all too well what the inventor of bloomers must have felt.
Right now, there were barely any students left in the cla.s.sroom, and as usual it seemed that Orito and I would be the last to leave. The other students, all enjoying their youth, had already left the room while pleasantly chatting with each other.
Orito also seemed ready to go home, standing up and swinging his backpack onto his back, yawning heavily.
“Aikawa. Now that I think about it, you’ve been going home pretty late nowadays. Have you been doing something at school?”
“Sleeping.”
“Even though you’ve slept that much already?”
Orito laughed loudly while hitting me on the back. That wasn’t really sleeping, it was me collapsing after a battle with the sun… but I guess those two things are not that different.
“Your house is close by, so you’ll probably be alright. But there have been a lot of murders lately, right? So be careful.”
Unexpectedly, he was worried about me. I suddenly laughed through my nose. Certainly, there have been frequent murders recently. And there was probably only one murderer.
And that person is also the person who killed me. At this point, I was on the side of the people who have been killed.
“Well, I want to come face to face with the murderer though.”
“Oh right, now that you mention that, Aikawa. My little sister’s friend had an encounter with this whole serial murder business and wants to meet you. Her name is Kyouko, do you know her?”
Whaa? There was a survivor? Hey hey. Weren’t there no survivors from these murder cases? Well, I guess I’m a survivor, though.
“I don’t know the name. What kind of girl is she?”
“She’s the same age as my little sister, so she’s 14. (1) She’s a bit tall for a junior high school student, but her face looks young and her chest is huge. She’s many times cuter than my sister.”
“I haven’t heard of her. So, what does this Kyouko-chan want with me?”
“You might not know her, Aikawa, but she knows you. In other words, she fell for you at first sight!”
He grinned. Like an idiot. The eyes in the middle of those gla.s.ses were the eyes of a hentai.
“That’s pretty dubious logic if that’s the only evidence you have.”
“How many times has she asked about you…? She’s definitely in love with you! I’m just being chivalrous and I want to let this poor girl who has already lost both her parents the chance to meet the boy she likes. I guess you don’t understand that. It’s fine if you just meet with her, so please.”
What an annoying person. Putting his hands together like that and looking embarra.s.sed makes me really want to throw him twenty meters away. Well, whatever. This was a clue. I had found a clue pertaining to the serial murders.
“That’s completely alright. I’m interested in meeting this girl.”
“Aikawa… you’re a lolicon, aren’t you?”
“Completely wrong. I’m not interested in her in that way. Don’t tell me you haven’t tried to make a move on her though.”
“Hey, Aikawa, don’t lump me in with you. I like adult women.”
“Well, I might like flat-chested girls, but I’m not a lolicon.”
“Alright. Alright. Don’t take it so seriously. You lolicon.”
“Fine. Tell me your most sought after feature, and I’ll make fun of it to high heaven.”
“Anyways. She talks about you a lot, and she wants to meet you even today if possible.”
“I understand. If tomorrow evening is fine, let me go and meet her then.”
“Speaking of going (2), I haven’t gone over to your house lately. In the olden days we used to go over to each other’s houses all the time.”
I can’t remember a single time when I actually asked him to come over… hey hey, don’t start remembering weird things.
“After so long, can I come by and visit?”
Now just look. Look at what’s happened… ugh, this is bothersome. If you came over now, it would be extremely bothersome. Not just now; if you were to come over at any time in the future, it would be bothersome.
“You can’t. I mean… there are a lot of things to do at home. I’m pretty comfortable living by myself, but I’m really busy.”
Although, if he asked me what I’m so busy with, I really wouldn’t have a convincing answer.
“Ah, I guess there’s nothing I can do about that then…”
Orito seemed sad and looked towards the windows. From outside, we could hear the voices of the club members who were out there sweating and having fun.
“Sorry. Do you want to go bowling instead? You probably can’t beat me though with me like I am now…”
I mean, I’m a zombie, right? Although, I kept that part in my head.
“Alright!! It’ll be a match with a manga volume as the prize, like we used to do! Let’s do it the day after tomorrow!”
Orito swung his arms around and the corner of his lips turned upwards into a smile. This person really liked to bowl.
We chatted nonsensically for a while longer, and Orito retired from the cla.s.sroom one step in front of me. As I listened to the sound of his fading footsteps, I turned my gaze out the window.
The sky, tinged with the color of dusk… well, try as I might, I couldn’t figure out a way to finish that description. Things like this happened sometimes.
Ahh, but the weather really is nice. Almost like it was telling me to go eat s.h.i.t and die. d.a.m.n sun, go down faster.
“Hm? What’s that?”
Thinking I saw a sparkling light, I suddenly heard a deafening sound, after which something broke through the window and burst into the cla.s.sroom. I didn’t even have to get a good look at it to know what it was. It was a crayfish. A crayfish wearing a j.a.panese school boy’s uniform, just a bit larger than… geez, this one was huge!
“I felt the power of a masou shoujo here and came to see…”
The crayfish brushed off the shards of gla.s.s that had fallen onto his uniform with his pincers, and restlessly looked around the room. And those big and round cute eyes finally settled on me.
“Masou… shoujo…?”
The crayfish tilted his head to the side, looking confused about the situation. It was a very human-seeming movement.
“Who are you? It’s rare to see a male masou shoujo. And also, your magical power is so weak. You, are you really a masou shoujo?”
“I’d like to deny it, but for the time being I am a masou shoujo.”
“… Well, that’s alright, I’m picking up quite a few signals in this area. I’ll go look somewhere else.”
What was it again? The general term for these things.
“Hm? One is headed this way… how lucky. I can kill two today.”
Ah right, they were called “Megalo.” That was the general term. I managed to remember. Good job, me.
And then, next to the curtain that was fluttering in the wind, she appeared.
She was wearing a t-shirt and one pair of striped panties. With a chainsaw in her hands, Haruna came through the open window.
With the evening athletic grounds in the background, her shirt and ahoge swayed in the wind. She looked both fantastic and comical.
“Ayumu! What are you doing?! Beat that Megalo black and blue!”
I have no idea what would count as “black and blue,” but more importantly, I had no idea why she had come looking like that.
“Bwahaha! My my, look at this! Looks like another failure! I’ll put my hopes into the remaining ones then… after I kill you both!”
The crayfish opened and closed his pincers as he laughed lightly. Who the h.e.l.l are you supposed to be, Baltan?! (3) Ah, no, the pincers look different.
“Ayumu, do it quickly! H-Hey, what are you doing?! Don’t look over here!”
Haruna seemed openly irritated, and I did as she told me to do, facing the crayfish. Haruna was blushing, probably because it was pretty embarra.s.sing having her panties showing like that. Well, if that’s the case, why the h.e.l.l did you come here looking like that?
“Alright, but what about what’s going to happen to this cla.s.sroom?”
“Hmph. You can fix everything. You’re a masou shoujo after all.”
“Alright, I’m good to go then. By the way, that’s a crayfish, right?”
“Yes, a double A cla.s.s Megalo, Wizard Zarii.”
That thing was a wizard? I didn’t see it at all.
“Wait, that’s not it. The Atrocious Zarii, was it…?”
That sounds a bit more plausible. What the h.e.l.l were you thinking at first?
“Bwahahaha! Well, let’s begin!”
All of a sudden, warm gusts of wind blew through the room with the crayfish at the center.
It didn’t seem like a huge amount of wind. Did the crayfish let loose an attack or something? It was a purplish, evilish wind that coiled around our bodies. When that happened, Haruna let out a small squeal and hugged her body. She was probably experiencing the same unpleasant feelings I was right now when the wind hit her.
“W-What is this…? This can’t be.”
“What’s wrong? You all right?”
“A.. yumu… what’s with this chilly feeling…?”
The crayfish took one step towards me. Haruna shut her eyes, and raised her shoulders with a start.
“You, could it be… you’re scared?”
“D-Don’t screw with me! A-As if I would ever be afraid of a Megalo… that’s…”
Haruna’s words cut off. As if all her strength had left her, she plonked down onto the floor. Creases formed across her brow and she ground her teeth, trying to keep herself from shivering.
For now, I closed the distance between me and the crayfish, aiming for his neck like I had with the bear.
But, before I could grasp his neck, my hand from the wrist up fell to the floor. Blood dripped from the wound.
“Ho hoh? You’re pretty good despite your appearances… you male masou shoujo!”
Putting pressure on his eyes with his huge pincers, the crayfish laughed heartily.
“Ayumu!”
A cute yell echoed through the cla.s.sroom. It’s completely understandable that Haruna would be worried for me. Blood was dripping from my severed wrist, and my hand was lying there on the floor. Agh, this is tough. Zarii-san really can move fast. He got in between me and his neck so easily. But in exchange, I had taken out one of his eyes.
“d.a.m.n, he took my right hand… I would have preferred it if he took my left hand instead…”
Not being able to use my dominant arm was a huge problem. The regular dripping of blood marked the pa.s.sage of time, and Zarii-san and I both impatiently shuffled back and forth. Zarii-san was probably thinking the same thing I was thinking.
… There’s no crack in his defense. The first one to make a mistake would be the one who loses. What should I do?
“Ayumu! Quickly, transform into a masou shoujo!”
Haruna suddenly tossed me the chainsaw. Hey hey, if I try to pick that up I’m going to get cleaved into two. Try to read the atmosphere, dammit.
I leaped backwards and caught the chainsaw in my left hand. Of course, Zarii-san closed the distance between us and gave me a body blow. His pincers pierced my stomach, and I spat out a stream of blood.
I slouched, and Zarii sent a headb.u.t.t my way. A mountain of blood gushed from my nose and my back hit the blackboard. With all my strength, I sent a knee kick through the air, but Zarii’s elbow bore into my body.
Dammit, this crayfish… he’s too fast.
“Chant a spell!”
Haruna’s order echoed in my ears. No no, there was no time for that. Spells are pretty long things, right? And I had crammed them all into my head in one night.
The pincers. .h.i.t me on the side, and sent me tumbling through the cla.s.sroom, taking tables and chairs with me.
“The one thing I didn’t want to do was transform into a masou shoujo…”
But, there are no other options. This crayfish was strong. d.a.m.n strong. If I don’t transform into a masou shoujo, I probably wouldn’t be able to win.
Making my decision, I shouted. Zarii-san, please hold on just a second.
“Nomobuyo, woshi, has.h.i.tawa, dokeda, gunmiicha, dei, ribura!”
Alright, now what? First, my clothes tore, almost as if they were bursting open, and light began to gather where I was. At this point, my embarra.s.sment had already reached the summit.
The light merged, and a cosplay-like outfit made of a material I still have yet to identify began to appear on my body. It was the same outfit Haruna had been wearing when we first happened to meet, and the bottom was of course composed of a skirt. If Haruna wore it her undoubtedly cute panties would be completely visible… so I didn’t like this at all.
Power poured into my body. To the point where I myself was getting gooseb.u.mps. Well, it’s also possible the gooseb.u.mps were a response to me being in this outfit.
But, geez. With this, things should work out. That’s what I was thinking. Of course, I’m talking about the power of masou shoujo.
My transformation had definitely put Zarii on guard. He put up his pincered hands as if he was a boxer, and carefully watched my movements.
“Come on, Ayumu! Quickly… go quickly!”
She pointed at Zarii, and shouted while her ahoge jumped back and forth. Yeah yeah. I’m going, I’m going.
With my left hand, I brandished the chainsaw high in the air. Along with that, the moment Zarii’s hands started to move, I threw a straight punch at him with my right arm that was missing its hand. Taking the opportunity, I kicked him and sent him flying into the hallway.
Zarii collapsed to the floor, leaning heavily on the wall for support, and I brought down the chainsaw on him. Perhaps it was the magic’s effect, but the chainsaw glowed red and the blade began to turn of its own volition.
As expected, he guarded against the chainsaw. He skillfully interposed his pincers in between the chainsaw and his body. Like that, he threw the chainsaw off, and we once again entered into standoff mode, just a bit separated from each other.
“Bwahaha. You sure can take a beating. I’ve killed six masou shoujo up until now, but you’re the most troublesome of them all. Also… you’re strange.”
Zarii made a sound as if he was laughing through his nose.
“Why, thank you. If you want to talk about strange, I believe both of us fit the bill.”
The atmosphere in the air sparkled with tension. It was the highest form of anxiety that came with life or death situations like this. Granted, I’m already dead.
In this narrow hallway, there was no choice but to attack straight on. No need for tactics here.
Zarii’s right hand moved. He stuck it out in front of him.
And then, those huge pincers came flying at me.
“Uwaaah!!”
I was terrified. The pincers were detachable? Like a missile, it flew at me and I leapt to the side to dodge, when I realized it.
The moment I had let out my pitiful sounding shout, there was someone behind me that had let out a similarly pitiful sounding shout. When I twisted my neck around to look, I saw a single male at the top of the stairs on the other end of the hallway.
It was Orito.
Well, I suppose that Zarii had shown up not too long after Orito had left, so it wasn’t impossible that Orito would come back to check on what all the commotion happening in the cla.s.sroom was about.
And while I was thinking that, the pincer collided with my body. It felt like I had gotten hit by a truck. What a strong attack.
My body was lifted ridiculously easily into the air, and I was thrown to the other end of the hallway. Afterwards, the pincer returned to Zarii’s body. If I hadn’t transformed into a masou shoujo, my body would have probably been torn to shreds.
“Aikawa…”
Orito opened his eyes wide and stared at me. His arms and legs were shaking, and even if I told him to run away it’s not like he would be able to move that quickly.
“What the h.e.l.l are you wearing…? Is that supposed to be funny?”
Oh, well that was unexpected. I thought he would ask about the crayfish first. I understand why he might have questions for me when I’m dressed in this cosplay like this, but first and foremost there was the crayfish, right? The crayfish isn’t something you would see in everyday life.
“Hurry and run away. You’ll be killed.”
Perhaps he didn’t hear my warning, but Orito stiffened like a doll. This isn’t good… if he takes an attack, unlike me, he’s really going to die, right? After all, he’s not a zombie.
“Hey, Haruna! There’s a civilian here! Help!”
I yelled to the bishoujo who was probably still in the cla.s.sroom. Zarii’s huge round eyes faced the direction of the cla.s.sroom. As if I’d let him interfere!
Crushing the floor beneath me, I rapidly closed the distance between me and Zarii.
I went in with a flying kick, and waved my chainsaw around as its gears spun with a vrrrrmmm. It was all so Zarii didn’t end up targeting Haruna. Trying to chase him into the middle of the hallway, I tackled him aggressively, and once again swung my chainsaw around.
Zarii leapt backwards like a shrimp would do, dodging the chainsaw blade.
“Haruna! Hurry up and help him!”
“Shut up. I got it, so stop ordering me around.”
As if she were trying to ward off the cold, Haruna came out of the cla.s.sroom rubbing her arms.
Please, Haruna.
A backhand chop… or should I say a backpincer chop… pierced me in the side. I had been looking somewhere else, which admittedly was a bad excuse, but his attack might have crushed a few of my internal organs.
The crayfish smiled. This b.a.s.t.a.r.d thinks he’s won, doesn’t he? I grabbed the pincer, twisted hard, and pulled his large body down to the floor.
I straddled him and brought my chainsaw, glowing a ruby color, down on Zarii’s neck.
“Not good enough!”
The crayfish did not only have two legs. A number of legs extended from under his school uniform and pierced my body. It didn’t hurt, but how do I put it, it felt disgusting. I mean, they were twirling around in my body.
“Bwahahahaha! Die! Masou shoujo!”
“Sorry, but I’m already dead.”
The chainsaw roared into the crayfish’s neck. Zarii-san had thought he had killed me so he had momentarily let down his guard. That happened often with these things.
The crayfish’s large round eyes, a feature peculiar to Megalo, opened wide in shock. Zarii-san pointed a trembling pincer in my direction. It seems like he was about to detach his claws and launch that fierce attack he had before.
But he was too slow.
I tossed away the crayfish’s severed head. Losing his strength, Zarii-san’s right pincer fell to the ground, lifeless. At that moment, the pincer that was supposed to be released in my direction… suddenly discharged.
“Uwoohh.”
Letting loose a pitiful sounding yell, I stood up. Like a rocket, the pincer pa.s.sed through my legs. Geez… I guess this was his last desperate attack.
Feeling relieved, I turned around. I saw Orito there.
He was still there?
Didn’t I tell her to get them to safety? Did I say something wrong? Did she not hear me?
Maybe it was because I was a zombie, but I felt the blood drain from my face.
Before giving myself over to that disgusting sensation, I went into a spectacular low dive like a lifeguard. The last pincer that Zarii had released was headed straight for Orito.
Hey hey, if I weren’t a masou shoujo right now I would have been wounded pretty badly by that pincer. If I weren’t a zombie, I probably would have died. I unconsciously opened my mouth wide.
Did I reach it? Even if I only touched it a bit, that would be fine. Even if I could just divert its trajectory a bit, that would be fine.
I reached out with the chainsaw in my left hand as far as it would go, chasing the pincer as it went straight ahead, spurting sparkling particles out its backside.
Just a bit more. Just slightly farther. That’s it. If I can just catch the end of it, that’s fine… alright.
Dammit, this isn’t going to work. I can’t reach it at all!
I was left speechless. I held my breath, and twisted my wrist.
I had to throw it. There was only one chance. I didn’t even want to think about whether I could actually throw the chainsaw properly from this posture, but I was out of other options!
“And gooo!”
306%. Exceeding the limits of human strength, I threw the chainsaw with just a snap of my wrists.
Answering my prayers, the chainsaw deflected the pincer. The pincer changed its course and drilled into the wall of the hallway. Orito clumsily covered his body with his limbs as the concrete shards that had popped off the wall poured onto him.
With one breath, I exhaled all the unpleasant air that had lodged in my lungs. Geez, what the h.e.l.l was Haruna doing?
“Hey, did you see a short girl around here?”
“Eh? Ahh, that super cute girl? She glared at me and asked me where the toilet was, and when I told her she went there without another word.”
Orito turned his gaze to the end of the hallway. In the direction of our cla.s.sroom.
Ah, I see, if she needed to use the bathroom that’s fine. Whatever.
Wait, it is not fine! When she comes back I’m going to lecture her on why life is precious.
“What are you?”
Rubbing down his chest, Orito put on an unusually serious expression and looked at me.
Well, it’s not like I can hide it anymore. Geez.
“I already died. I’m just a normal zombie.”
“When you become a zombie, you have to wear clothes like that?”
It seemed that the first and foremost thing on Orito’s mind was this costume. That would be a pretty long story to tell though…
When I explained the situation from beginning to end, Haruna returned from the bathroom looking refreshed. She shook water droplets off both her hands.
“Ah, it’s over? Then…”
Isn’t she acting a bit too casually about all this? Haruna nonchalantly walked over here, and touched the hands she had just washed to Orito’s forehead. When she did that, Orito collapsed to the floor.
“H-Hey, what did you just do?”
“Memory manipulation. I can’t deal with this entire area by myself as I am now, so you do it.”
“If you could do that, tell me earlier! I had just explained everything to him.”
“As if I care! Just hurry up and do it!”
Geez. With Haruna’s difficult-to-understand instructions, in order to use this magic I was not used to, I pointed my chainsaw at the cla.s.sroom. A red light extended from the chainsaw and enveloped the damaged cla.s.sroom.
I had to do “something or other” to the “s.p.a.ce-time something or other” within a certain area or something. Memory manipulation also seemed to make use of that principle.
… Let me just be frank, and say that I didn’t understand at all.
At least use technical terms, dammit. Don’t just say “s.p.a.ce-time something or other.” And what’s more, it seems this magic couldn’t heal my body’s wounds, so my body was still in its worn-out state.
Well, I would return to normal with time. They say that often, right? Time heals all wounds.
Even though I didn’t really know what I was doing, I seemed to have pulled it off, and the cla.s.sroom returned to the state it was in before Zarii-san had come in.
I see. This way, there were no more signs that a battle had happened here. It could be possible that masou shoujo have always been fighting with Megalo in places that I don’t know about.
And then, by manipulating memories, in general those places wouldn’t be found out. That’s pretty convenient. As long as I could ignore this outfit, I would probably like being a masou shoujo.
Alright, next comes memory manipulation. Haruna had already seemed to have done it, but I couldn’t help but being uneasy.
I pointed my chainsaw at Orito, sleeping soundly and collapsed in the hallway. Once again, I listened to a hard to understand explanation from Haruna, and manipulated his memories.
At the very least, I had to make sure he forgot about this costume.
Even if he remembered the crayfish, even if he remembered that I was a zombie, he had to forget about this costume.
TRANSLATOR’S NOTES
(1) “Her name is Kirino.” Ok sorry, when you do multiple projects simultaneously the wires sometimes get crossed and manifest in silly ways =p.
(2) Terrible transition. You suck.
(3) Ultraman reference.