"All these years you let everyone think you were the big hero. You put him in that f.u.c.king chair."
T 0.
Wyatt cried harder, blubbering through his hands. "I didn"t mean to! I panicked. When I realized ... I did what I could to keep him alive. Thinking all the while that my career was over, that he would tell. But still I kept him alive-"
"And became a hero because of it."
"What could I do? I tried to make it up to him."
"Yeah, I"m sure having a big-screen TV made all the difference:" Kovac said.
"Did he know it was you that shot him?"
"He claimed he never remembered all of it. And yet ... there were times ...
comments he made ... I thought maybe..."
"And no one ever checked the ballistics beyond seeing all the slugs were thirty-eights," Kovac said. ""Cause you were all cops except the dead mutt with the record. And besides, you had a witness-Evelyn. Or were there two?" he asked, looking to Savard.
Savard never took her eyes off Wyatt. "I was told to stay in my room, to say I hadn"t seen anything. I did that because of Mother, because she would have taken the blame."
"Jesus." Kovac took a breath, feeling sick.
"Mike was the hero:"Wyatt insisted. "Mike was the hero."
"Mike is dead. Gaines killed him. Because of you. And he killed Andy," Kovac said. "You knew Andy was asking about that night. He came to you. Then he turns up dead.You had to know-"
"No! I thought he killed himselfl"Vfyatt insisted. "Really" "You could have stopped it all," Savard said, tears running down her face. "I could have
stopped it. Andy had come to me too. After he found Mother. I should havestopped it then. I"m a cop."I could have stopped it:" she said, looking inward. The gun was in her hand,her hand was shaking badly. "I"m sorry. I"m so sorry, Andy...."C, You didn"t kill him, Amanda," Kovac said gently, his anger shifting to fearas he watched her look at the weapon in her hand. "Let me have the gun. We"llstop it now, tomight. I"ll help you.""It"s too late," she murmured, looking inward. "I"m sorry. I"mso sorry."Give me the gun,Amanda."She looked at the weapon in her hand and raised it, turning the barrel towardherself346 T A M0 A 0D R 0 P T H E G U N , Rubel! " Castleton called. "We"re on you" "Rubel pointed the nine-millimeter at Liska"s chest and screamed,an animal roar, his face going red, the cords in his thick neck standing outlike ropes beneath the taut skin.G I V E M E T H E gun, Amanda:" Kovac said, stepping toward her. Everythinginside him was shaking. "It"s over now, honey.""I could have stopped it," she said.Kovac took another step. "Amanda, please . .She looked into his eyes. "You don"t understand." "Amanda. ""It"s all my fault.""No," Kovac whispered, reaching out slowly. His hand was shaking like adrunk"s."Yes ," she said softly, nodding her head. Her finger stroked the trigger."They"re all dead because of me."CASTLETO N ROARED BACK, screaming, moving on Rubel. Liska j ammed her handinto her coat pocket.Rubel turned his head, just for a second. A second was all she needed.The tactical baton snapped to fiiH length, and Liska moved in and to the side,swinging it overhand as hard as she could. The bones in Rubel"s forearmsnapped as the gun went off, and the shot went into a wall. Then Rubelcrumpled to the floor, screarming, writhing.Liska dropped the baton and walked out of the cubicle.
D. He would later look "AMANDA KOVAC WHISPERE back on that single instant in time, and know that what he"d seen in her eyesat that moment was a reflection of his own dying hope. "Amanda ... give me thegun.""No" she said softly. "No, Sam. Don"t you see? I could have stopped it twentyyears ago. My mother didn"t shoot Bill Thorne. I did."Kovac would never have any memory of the sound the gun madeD U S T T 0 D U S T 347 when it went off. He would never remember the screams-Ace Wyatt"s, his own.
The memory would forever be in images only: The spray of blood and bone and brain matter.
The split second of surprise in Amanda"s eyes before they went blank.
Himself, sitting on the floor, holding her body, as if his consciousness had detached from his own body and pulled away to try to escape the horror.
But there was no escape. There never would be.
t N A P T E "TIPPEN CALLED," Liskasaid.
She looked like h.e.l.l. Tinker Bell on heroin. Pale, purple smudges under her eyes, hair sticking up in all directions. Who knew the last time she"d slept.
Kovac could barely remember the last time he"d slept. Yet, exhausted as he was, the last thing he wanted to do was go home. The job was his refuge.
Liska"s too. And so they had gone on instead of going home. A new day had dawned, brightand cold. They stood on the front steps of Gavin Gaines"s town house for theexecution of the search warrant, looking for whatever they could find to tiehim to the murders of Andy and Mike Fallon. Looking for anything that mightsuggest Ace Wyatt had knowledge of those murders.
-I.
Kovac looked at the sun, a pale orange ball in the palest of blue skies, a halo around it. Sundog. Meant it was cold.
Nof.u.c.king lie.
"He said they found Andy"s files," Liska said. "In his boat. Good hunch *"
"Neil told me Andy had been out there Sunday afternoon," Kovac said. "The files weren"t anywhere else. Gaines didn"t have them, 349.
or he wouldn"t have followed me out there last night. Though I"ll bet hegrabbed the laptop and got rid of that the night he killed him.""Why do you think Andy hid the files and then let Gaines into his house?""I don"t know. Maybe he just didn"t want Gaines to get a look at them. I"msure he didn"t think Gaines would kill for them." "What"s going to happen to Wyatt?"Kovac shrugged. "There"s no statute of limitations on murder. We"ve got thetape with his confession to killingWeagle and shooting Mike.""And his lawyer will say it was given under duress, and he hadn"t beenMirandized, and blah, blah, blah.""Yeah. I"d say there"s no Justice," he said. "But there is. Sometimes it justtakes a while to come around. And sometimes when it does, it"s not quite whatwe had in mind." They said nothing for a moment, just stood there watching the street."I"m sorry about Savard"" Liska said.Kovac hadn"t told her about his feelings for Amanda. What was the point inanyone hearing that? Bad enough that he had to deal with it at all. Worse tohave sympathy. Worse yet, pity. But he"d told her the tale of what hadhappened in Wyatts house. He"d told her what he knew, what he"d piecedtogether, what Wyatt had told him in the aftermath.He could too easily picture Amanda, seventeen and vulnerable and afraid; inneed of justice, not getting it from the people she should have been able torely on. She"d done the only thing she thought would save her mother: she"dshot her father dead. Then Evelyn Thorne had done the only thing she believedwould save her daughter: a.s.sumed culpability. Then Wyatt had come into thepicture, and the tragedy spiraled on.He remembered now what Amanda had said to him Friday night as they stood inher kitchen. I"ve tried to make my choices tvith the idea that I"ve made thosechoicesfor the greatest good. Sometimes someone suffers in the process, but Imade the decisionfor the right reason. That should count for something,shouldn"t it? "I"m sorry too:" he murmured at last, glad for the sungla.s.ses that hid hiseyes and the emotions in them."There"s nothing left forVratt:"he said, digging a cigarette out of his pocketand hanging it on his hp. "He"s over. There"s nothing left . .For me, he thought, but he didn"t say it.He had the job, the only thing he"d ever been any good at. Somehow it didn"tfeel like enough now. He didn"t think it would fill the hole inside him. Maybenothing ever would."How are you doing?" he asked.Liska shrugged and put on her shades. "Okay for having stared into the face ofdeath. I wouldn"t want to do that every day." She gave him the elbow and asmirk. "See? That Hollywood job would have been the way to go. Money fornothing."They were quiet again for a moment, then she said, "I was scared. I"m still scared. I don"t want to think about the boys growing up without me. Someone sticks a gun in my face and I make a joke of it. But it"s not funny."
"You"re not gonna leave me, are you,Tinks?"
She didn"t answer him right away, and when she did, it wasn"t really an answer at all." I"m gonna take a vacation. Take the boys somewhere fun. Get a tan."
Elwood came to the door and stuck his head out. "You"ll want to see this."
They went into the town house and followed him through a maze of cops, up the stairs to the master bedroom and into a walk-in closet. Gaines had been a clotheshorse. The closet was hung with rods of suits and shirts. Shelves were stacked with sweaters and shoes. Someone had pushed aside the clothes on the rod that extended across the back of the closet to reveal a secret work of art.
"Jesus," was all Kovac could say.
Gaines had filled the wall with photographs and news clippings of Wyatt.
Articles about the man, about the show, about the deal with the WB network.
Polaroids of Wyatt in fifty different settings, shaking hands, posing with officials and fans. Photographs of the two of them in various social settings.
In the center: Wyatt"s eight-by-ten glossy. A shrine.
"Eew," Liska said, wrinkling her nose. "Does anyone besides me want to go take a shower?"
"I found these in an envelope on the shelf," Elwood said, handing Kovac a stack of Polaroids.
D U S T.
T 0.
D U S T 351.
Andy Fallon hanging from the beam in his bedroom. Full body shot. Naked.
Freshly dead. A close-up of his face. Mike Fallon sitting dead in his chair.
"Something for the sc.r.a.pbook:" Kovac said, echoing Gaines"s own words as he had shot pictures atWyatt"s party and at the ice rink with theWBVPs.
"You think he took them to blackmail Wyatt later on?" Elwood said. Kovac looked from the Polarolds to the collage and back.
"No," he said, handing the photographs back. I don"t."
0 A Q.
E P I L 0 6 U E.
AMANDA SAVARD"S FUNERAL was Thursday. A week to the day after Andy Fallon"s.
Kovac attended alone, one of two dozen people in the small chapel at the funeral home. She had lived a confined, controlled life within the walls of her defenses. Kovac su,%pected he was one of the few people who had ever had a glimpse inside those walls.
Evelyn Thorne was there with her doctor. Whet4er or not she knew what was happening was anyone"s guess. She sat quietly through the service, staring at the photograph she had brokight with her. Amanda at the age of five.
Bright-eyed and very seriotis. Her hair in a ponytail with a blue velvet bow.
She showed it to Kovac three times. A part of him wanted to ask to keep it, but he didn"t.
The service was simple, the basic closing on earthly existence. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Such an inadequate distillation of life: you"re born, you live, you die. There were no eulogies. There was no service graveside. She was not buried next to her fathQr.
The details of Amanda"s involvement in Bill Thorne"s death had been kept from the press. Her funeral was not corisidered newsworthy. Mike Fallon"s funeral drew a thousand law enforcement professionals from all over the upper Midwest, and Inade the front page of the Star Tribune. Kovac did not attend.
He slipped back into the chapel after the service had ended, after the rest of the mourners had gone. He sat for a long time, staring at the closed casket, not quite allowing himself to wonder what might have been.The funeral home director came in and gave him that same hopeful look as waltstaff in a bar at
closing.
"Take your time," the man said with a polite smile, backing away toward the potted palms along the side of the room.
Kovac stood and dug a hand into his coat pocket. "Can I leave something with her? Is it too late for that?"
"Certainly." He came forward again, his eyes kind. "I can take care of that for you."
Kovac pulled out the badge he had carried as a patrolman when he"d first come on the job too many years ago. He looked at it, ran his thumb over it, then handed it to th-"e funeral director.
"I"d like her to have this."
The man took it, nodded, and offered a gentle smile. "I"ll see that she gets it."
"Thanks.
T H E R E W E R E J U S T two cars left in the side lot. His and Liska"s.. She stood leaning against his driver"s side door, arms crossed.
"You okay?" she asked, eyes narrowed.
Kovac looked back at the building. "Naw, not really ... I broke one of my own rules. Expected too much."
Liska nodded. "I broke that one too.... So, I guess we can be morose together."
He shoved his hands into his pockets and hunched his shoulders against the cold. One corner of his mouth twitched up. "I"m not morose, I"m bitter."
Fox a moment she just looked at him, not with the cop eyes, but with the eyes of a friend. Then she came away from the car and put her arms around him and held him. Kovac hugged her back, eyes squeezed tightly against the need to cry. They held each other that way for a minute, maybe two.
When she stepped back, Liska popped him on the arm and tried to grin. "Hey, we"ve got each other, huh? Come on, partner, I"ll buy you a cup ofjoe."
Kovac smiled softly. "You"re on ... friend."
354 T A M I H 0 A G.
T-.
Tami Hoag"s novels have appeared regularly on international bestseller lists since the publication of her first book in 1988. She lives in Virginia. .