Chapter 12 Moving underground where the sun cannot reach, has me unable to tell what time it is.
I raise my wrist out of habit, wanting to look at the digital a.n.a.log watch on my hand, before I remember that I left it in the castle. Still, if there isn’t enough UV rays, the fluorescent paint on it wouldn’t work. I can’t even see my own hand, exactly how dark is this place?
Even if I’m in the absolute darkness, I still would care about the time on the surface for a while. Since I don’t have a watch to refer to, I can only rely on my level of weariness or hunger, or start counting how many steps I take.
But after a while I slowly stop caring about all those things, I don’t even have the desire to rest or eat. Everything has become trivial.
I just keep moving my feet and walking.
The right foot, then the left foot, step with the left foot then the right foot. All my brain wants is to walk carefully and not fall. I have to walk to the end of this tunnel, head to the facility and tombs at the other end of the desert. I’m just being obedient, obeying the things I decided in the past.
And I will always make sure I have one hand on the wall, that’s something we must do when feeling our way through the dark.
Suddenly the air stops moving, and I realize that Saralegui, who was walking ahead of me, has vanished. If I lose him in this darkness, what would become of me? He can see in the dark, so he can see his way even without firelight. But without moonlight or sunlight s.h.i.+ning inside, I can’t see a single thing.
Alone I definitely would not be able to walk out of this tunnel. The road has been straight up until now, but if there’s a junction ahead, I might get lost, and end up starving by the roadside. It’s just that, compared to my fear of an end like that, right now my heart is filled with nothing but self despair.
I think, “This can’t be helped, either.”
As for Saralegui, who had vanished ahead of me, he stops now, as though waiting for me to catch up. When that feeling unique to him floats up to me, I hear his familiar voice,
“You really can’t see anything, huh.”
I nod wordlessly. Even if I don’t make a sound, he can probably see me nod.
“It can’t be easy for you to walk like this, I’ll hold your hand then.”
As soon as he says that, he grabs my left hand without waiting for an answer and starts walking ahead briskly.
“I didn’t think people really couldn’t see in the dark, seems like everyone has been living a pretty inconvenient life. I always thought this was normal, I thought everyone could see. No wonder the lady officials would always call me, who could see even in the darkest place, weird names.”
Weird names? Honestly I feel Saralegui should have a different name too.
“So sorry, Yuuri. I’m just not considerate enough with things like this.”
He swings our joined hands like a child, adjusting his pace so he can walk side by side with me. The way we’re walking now is just like a long time ago in kindergarten, how we would walk on long trips out, so I can tell he’s in a very good mood.
“I should have done this a long time ago.”
And I’m just moving my feet, walking. This is the only way to advance, so I move my feet.
“I say, Yuuri, you should have done this a long time ago.”
Done this a long time ago? I should have done what?
But I still don’t change what I’m doing. Just walking for the sake of it, to find a way out of this tunnel. I want to find the facility those two children are in, and head for the emperors’ tombs. I want to follow the decisions I made in the past, because back then I still had the ability to decide.
I walk, rest, continue to walk.
And I thought that a journey like this would be hard on Saralegui, who grew up in the palace, but it turns out neither side made a noise of complaint, and the two of us walked until we couldn’t walk anymore together. We slept together, woke up and then started walking again. I don’t say a thing and rarely open my mouth, but Saralegui has always been in a good mood. That’s something to be grateful for, at least.
On what should be around noon on the third day, Saralegui gasps like a child,
“Yuuri, look! The ceiling, the ceiling, there’s a hole in the ceiling.”
Hearing his words I raise my head. Somewhere really high and really far away, there does seem to be a vague white circle.
“Hole…?”
“That’s right. Oh, yeah, you’re used to the darkness now, so that’s why you suddenly can’t see. The ceiling here is really high, a lot like an impluvium in the castle. Oh, yeah, it was always narrow tunnels before, so it feels so much more relaxing to be in a wide open s.p.a.ce like this… How is it? Yuuri, are you slowly getting used to the light now?”
I raise my head until my neck even begins to hurt, staring at the white circle with the light coming through too. Since the light is so strong, logically it should be brighter here too, and I should be able to see my own hands and Saralegui’s face soon.
“…Yuuri?”
The blur white figure is staring at me. I rub the corners of my eyes with my index fingers, staring at my palm,
“Sara, are my eyes open?”
“Yeah, why?”
“…I can’t see your face.”
I can sense the light and the shadows created by the light. But that face and these hands, the stones and the ground—
I can’t see.
And I don’t know whose names I should call.