Atony--_asinis!_ Plethora--_asini!_ Nervousness--_asinorum!_ Drink the Clear Waters--_asininum!_ Do you know what is your disease? It is vexation, and even worse."
"Do you see that?" said Charming, terrified.
"Yes, my son, it is written on your tongue. But I will cure you: it shall be done by to-morrow noon."
"To-morrow!" said the king. "All my treasures--"
"Silence, my son. What portfolio is that?--the minister"s? Good. Sign these three papers for me."
"They are blank decrees," said the king. "What do you wish to do with them?"
"They are my ordinances. Sign. Well done, my son; be obedient, and to-morrow noon you shall be as gay as a lark. First ordinance: If you would live at peace, appear at peace; I suppress six regiments. Second ordinance: A penny in a peasant"s pocket is worth twenty in the king"s treasury; I suppress one fourth of the taxes. Third ordinance: Liberty is like the sunshine--it is the happiness and fortune of the poor; I throw open the political prisons and demolish the debtors" prisons.
You are laughing, my son; it is a good sign when a patient laughs at his doctor."
"Yes," said Charming, "I am laughing to think of Wieduwillst"s face to-morrow on reading these ordinances in the court gazette. Enough of these follies, buffoon doctor; give me back the papers and put an end to this farce."
"What is this?" said the little man, taking up the decree of the regency. "G.o.d forgive me! it is an abdication. What are you thinking of, Prince Charming? What! the inheritance bequeathed to you by your fathers, the people intrusted to you by G.o.d, your name, your honor, will you throw all these at the feet of an adventurer? Will you let yourself be dethroned and duped by a deceiver? Impossible! It does not suit me. I oppose it. Do you hear?"
"What insolent fellow addresses his prince in this way?"
"Politeness is not in words. Charming, are you mad? Are you dreaming?
Are you wholly without heart?"
"This is too much!" cried the king. "Begone, wretch, or I will throw you out of the window."
"Begone!" said the little doctor, in a shrill voice. "No, not till I have destroyed this mad and stupid doc.u.ment. See, I tear your abdication in pieces and trample it under-foot!"
Charming seized the madman and called his guards. No one answered. The little man struggled with wonderful strength. With his foot he threw the lamp on the ground; but the king, despite the darkness, kept fast hold of the sorcerer, who felt his strength failing.
"Let me go!" murmured he; "for Heaven"s sake let me go! You know not what you are doing. You are breaking my arm."
His words and prayers were useless. Suddenly a shower of blows, dealt by a strong hand, fell on the king"s ears. Charming let go his hold in surprise, and turned to attack his invisible enemy. He found nothing but empty s.p.a.ce, and, staggering in the darkness, cried loudly for the help that did not come. Such a thing could not have happened in a minister"s house; kings are always worse guarded.
VIII
THE END OF A DREAM
At last a door opened and Rachimburg entered, according to etiquette, to undress the king. The faithful servant appeared greatly vexed to find him without a light, groping along the wall.
"Where is that infernal doctor?" asked Charming, foaming with rage.
"It is more than an hour, sire, since His Excellency quitted the palace."
"Who is talking of Wieduwillst?" cried the king. "Which way did the villain go that just insulted me?"
Rachimburg looked at the prince with a contrite air, and raised his eyes to heaven, sighing.
"A man went out of the door that leads to your rooms," said Charming.
"How did he enter, and where has he fled?"
"Sire," said Rachimburg, "I have neither quitted my post nor seen any one."
"I tell you that a man was in this room a moment ago."
"Sire, Your Majesty is never mistaken; if a man was in this room he is still here, unless he has flown through the window or Your Majesty has been dreaming."
"Fool, do I look like a man who has been dreaming? Did I overturn this lamp? did I tear these papers?"
"Sire, I am nothing but a worm of the earth; G.o.d forbid that I should contradict my sovereign. Your majesty does not hire me to give him the lie. But this year strange dreams are an epidemic. No one knows what he may do or suffer in his sleep. Only just now I was overtaken with sleep in spite of myself, and if I were not sure that I was dreaming I should declare that an invisible hand boxed my ears twice, at which I awakened with a start."
"It was the specter!" said the king.
"Your Majesty is right," replied Rachimburg; "I am nothing but a simpleton; it was the specter."
"And I did not know her!" resumed Charming. "Nevertheless, it was her voice and air. What does this mean? Is it a new insult? Is it a warning from heaven? Does some danger threaten me? No matter, I will remain in my kingdom. My friend, not a word of all this: take this purse and keep the secret."
"That makes the third," murmured the faithful Rachimburg, as he undressed the king with a zeal and address which several times made His Majesty smile.
So many emotions one after another banished sleep; it was daybreak before the prince dozed, and broad daylight before he awoke. In the first moment between sleeping and waking Charming fancied that he heard a strange noise--bells ringing, cannon firing, and three or four bands of music playing each a different air. He was not mistaken; it was an infernal hubbub. The king rang. Rachimburg entered, carrying a bouquet of flowers.
"Sire," said he, "will His Majesty permit the humblest of his servants to be the first to express to him the universal joy? Your people are intoxicated with love and grat.i.tude. The taxes lessened, the prisons opened, the army reduced! Sire, you are the greatest prince in the world; never has earth seen a ruler like you. Show yourself at the balcony; answer these cries of "Hurrah for the king!" Smile on the people that bless you."
Rachimburg could not finish; tears choked his voice. He attempted to wipe his eyes, but in his excitement he took the gazette from his pocket instead of a handkerchief, and began to kiss it like a madman.
Charming took the journal, and vainly attempted, while dressing, to collect his ideas. By what chance had these insane ordinances found their way into the official journal? Who had sent them? Why did not Wieduwillst make his appearance? The prince wished to reflect, consult, and question; but the people were under the windows, and their majesties were too impatient to wait.
As soon as the king appeared in the balcony he was greeted with shouts of enthusiasm, which, despite everything, thrilled his heart.
Men tossed their caps in the air, women waved their handkerchiefs, mothers lifted up their children and made them stretch their innocent hands to heaven, and repeat, "Hurrah for the king!" The guns of the palace guards were decked with flowers, the drums beat, and the officers" swords flashed in the sun. It was a scene of delirious joy.
Charming was infected by the general emotion; he wept without exactly knowing why. At that instant the clock struck noon. The specter was right--the prince was cured.
After the crowd it was the turn of the corporations, all of whom, the ministers at the head, came to congratulate and thank the king for having so well understood the wishes of his faithful counselors. A single person was lacking, namely, Wieduwillst. None knew where he had hidden his ignorance and spite. A mysterious note received by him that morning had occasioned his flight, yet this note contained only the words, _The king knows all!_ Who had written this fatal letter? Not the prince; he alone, perhaps, in the palace, thought of the minister, and wondered at not seeing him by his side.
All at once Tonto entered, pale and haggard. He ran to the king and gave him a letter which an officer had brought at full gallop. The governor of the province, General Bayonet, sent terrible news; the six disbanded regiments had mutinied, headed by Wieduwillst. The rebels had proclaimed the downfall of the king, whom they accused of abominable crimes, especially of the murder of the queen. Numerous and well commanded, they were approaching the city, which was defended only by a few doubtful and disaffected regiments. Bayonet entreated the king to come instantly and take command; an hour later, and all would be lost.
Hurried on by Tonto and Rachimburg, the king secretly quitted the palace, followed by a few officers. A proclamation, placarded on all the walls of the city and at every corner of the streets, declared that there was no truth in the rumors spread by a few malicious persons, and that the army had never been more devoted or faithful.
Upon this there was a universal panic; stocks fell 50 per cent. in half an hour, and did not rise again till unofficial news arrived that the king had been well received at head-quarters.
IX
HEROIC REMEDIES FOR GREAT EVILS
The news was false; the prince had been received with great coldness.
It was his own fault. Sad, despondent, and abstracted, Charming had neither found a jest for the soldiers nor a word of trust for the officers. He entered the general"s tent and fell into a chair. Tonto was little less disheartened.
"Sire," said Bayonet, "permit me to speak to you with the frankness of a soldier and the freedom of an old friend. The army is murmuring and hesitating; we must secure it, or all is lost. The enemy is in sight; we must attack him. Five minutes sometimes decide the fate of empires; it is so with us now. Do not wait till it is too late."
"Very well," said the king. "To horse! in an instant I will be with you."