"There is no greater agony, than bearing an untold story inside you"-Maya Angelou
・．━━━━━━━━━━━━ † ━━━━━━━━━━━━．・
That night, with a deity as a legitimate witness, I killed my brother...along with certain emotions. Emotions that are of integrity on a mere human. Emotions that I don"t want to be a.s.sociated with...anymore.
If the decision itself was made to make me seem less like human, then so be it, as I could not care for more but to erase the feeling of emptiness and to free myself from the mercies and incarcerations from the reminiscence of the image... of my dead family.
"What are we to do know? Your fate awaits" The G.o.ddess asked wearing a face as if she already knew what"s coming next.
"Hmm. In her omnipotence, this deity can be quit a pain"
"I heard that you know, and for additional information, I am no omnipotent ent.i.ty." the G.o.ddess frivolously replied to my thoughts.
For the last, I took some time to glimpse at the cold corpses of my mother, my father, and my sister.They were such honorable personas, worthy of commendation from others as they were kind, and that, they showed goodness without partiality to people in need despite being aristocrats, who are as of that time, a family, that can control governments and systems at will. My family owned several businesses and large-scale corporations, yet that did not become a reason for our family to lose contact with the less fortunate. Yet now? They became nothing but corpses at the state of rigor mortis. Is this what they get back, for the good that they had done?
And then, there is this foolish man, freshly pierced of bullets who destroyed everything on an instant..my brother. The next heir who was once a man of great stature. He was an academic prodigy with athletic reflexes. I aspired to be like him, but now, I probably realized that it was the stupidest decision in my life to try to compete with this man, as he is without a doubt, at the top of the food chain when it comes to insanity and drunkenness to the insatiable hunger for more worldly power. This man, today is nothing to me, but a pile of rotten flesh better set aside for the street dogs to consume.
After being drowned by my self-dialogue, I s.h.i.+fted my gaze back to the G.o.ddess and said, "Lacrimosa, could we burn this house down? That would be my last request for this night"
"If that"s what you want, then let it be done. But it goes without saying that I will do the incineration. Figured, it"s also a time for a little warm up." The G.o.ddess answered .
She then snapped her fingers and then, at the next blink of an eye, we were outside, in a vast garden that my mom engineered, facing the gargantuan mansion. I looked around, only to behold the same diabolical scenery . I saw nothing more but dead corpses of whom, by the help of the beaming moonlight, I quickly recognized as our henchmen and servants who we considered as friends and an integral part of the Cendrillon family. It was, by forensic term, a ma.s.s ma.s.sacre, not a three- men murder, with my brother as the unequivocal perpetrator.
I don"t know why, but I could not care less. My intent from that point was to entirely obliterate our household"s palace, the mansion where dreams were born and were despicably destroyed in a second.
Memories then came flas.h.i.+ng again back into me, but this time it was our household, as a whole. There were these memories that every flashback of it, feels like having a giant boulder laid upon my back in a stacking order. Yet, I myself knew, that dwelling in the past is not a very authentic choice judging by my situation. I must move on, towards an obsolete future that my brother made opaque and unclear. To my surprise, my eyes suddenly became watery and it became heavy. What I felt next were tiny droplets of tears flowing through my cheeks. I- I cried. At that moment, my heart felt so much lacuna, a hole that is by far, the most disparaging to behold, knowing that I will never see my family talk in front of me again or inspire me the same way as they did before.
In a world which I really knew nothing about, surrounded by corpses of my loved ones, feeling empty inside.
"I"
"am"
"Alone"
So I thought, and yet, a gracious tap in my back, which appeared to be from a G.o.ddess awoke me from my melancholic trance. The tap was so warm that it erased the part of me that thought that I am all alone, abandoned and despicable.
"Hmm, you really like to be intrusive" I said ,in a slightly harsh tone and yet deep inside I was ...a little grateful.
"You are not alone Jaiden. As long as you are under a pledge with me, you never are." She said while looking at me on the eye that expressed great compa.s.sion.
"That sadness you are feeling. Taste it to your heart"s content as it would be your last to feel of it, just like the last jest of anger prior." she added, while slowly turning her attention towards the mansion which I requested for her to burn without a trace ,along with the happy moments and memories, that I encountered on that place. A place, which was a symbol of wealth coalesced with undaunted kindness and picturesque visage is now a ma.s.sive tombstone of the people whom I treasured.
I then noticed that the tears eventually stopped flowing... or maybe it"s just that, I again, lost my ability to feel the emotion... tagged as sadness. And yes, it turned out that my hunch was spot on. The clock-like symbol of my contract with Lacrimosa again took turn, this time towards the third threshold.
"Congratulations on obliterating sadness. That leaves you nine emotions to go, before your wish upon this G.o.ddess is completely fulfilled. Now that"s what you could call progress"
"Hmmm, how do you want me to react being congratulated, in this state? I am not trying to be manipulative to a more supreme being here , but could you please burn this place now?" I replied as if I just heard the most sarcastic drivel ever.
"You sure you are not? Just jesting. Yes, yes right away." the G.o.ddess responded.
Having said that, Lacrimosa then faced the mansion and pointed her gaze directly towards it and chanted some balderdash that she alone could completely comprehend. I then braced myself as I knew that I was about to witness something that exceeds the ordinary.
"Summone spiritus dea. I command thee, sealed spirit of flame to descend from the heavens upon my rite and to consume what is laid fore. Ignitress!"
From the heavens, there appeared a giant rift that seemed unearthly, as if it was a gate that connects two discrepant realms of which one belonged to the deities themselves. And there, descended a crimson humanoid image with wings like of a phoenix that stretched all over the clear sky. In her not-so-clear and comprehensible chant just a moment ago, she called that, the spirit of flame, Ignitress.
I was stunned for quite a while amidst the scenery that the G.o.ddess herself created out of her own words. It was such, if I were to define, a suite display of what a G.o.d who is at least inferior to the highest excellency is really capable of doing, and a cascaded showcasing of elegance and beauty.
The humanoid spirit then pointed its hand toward the mansion . Then out of it, there came forth crimson-colored fire that took the shape of a gargantuan avian. It then flapped its wings mightily downwards toward what was in front of us, the mansion.
In its glorious light that are appearing brighter as it gets closer, I covered my eyes using my arms and then, the moment I took it off, I saw fire engulfing all around us and great smoke arising as if it was a glimpse of h.e.l.l. The flame were too strong and instead of merely just burning the whole place down, it could have easily killed me, if it was not of Lacrimosa"s provision protecting me in that time.
I saw bodies being born, incinerated to dust. Bodies of my beloved ones that gave me much to remember that made them much harder to forget along with the slowly weakening fire that is obliterating them to ash with not a single remains of life"s benisons. Amidst the flaming environment, the G.o.ddess slowly handed me something...
"Here, I saw it in your mother"s hand so I picked it up." As I was watching the mansion"s shape slowly turning void due to the fire, the G.o.ddess suddenly said, while handing to me a piece of crippled paper.
"What is this?" I asked.
"See for yourself, I value your right to privacy." she answered with this honest look that I found to be somewhat satirical.
I a.s.sumed that it was probably just one of those cheque containing large sums of money that had been the root cause of all evil tonight. Yet in all curiosity , I uncovered a part of it and to my surprise it was not just any kind of paper. It was a letter of which the first line reads "Dearest Jaiden".
From that single sudden glimpse alone, I knew the the handwriting made it seem that it was from my mom and that, it looked like it was made hastily. I decided to put that paper as it was, and placed it in my pocket.
The fire then started to quench little by little. The moment all had gone out, the place was wiped off clean like it was purified by fire. There was no marks of dead bodies and all was turned to ash without falters. As I was staring on the ruins laid in front, the G.o.ddess suddenly said...
"Your request had been fulfilled... and also someone is coming"
"Who?"
"Oh there is no need to worry. You already know her. She will now stand as the guardian in your new paradigm in living. Heed her Jaiden as she is the remaining relative you have"
Guessing from how she expressed it in words,I thought that she was to let some stranger be my foster parent, and yet the last line boggled me as she stated that the person would be the last of my relatives. Yet I could not think of such a person. Tired, I decided to not give it too much thought. I will trust the words of this G.o.ddess no matter how obsolete the situation will become as she was the first to lend a hand in the most dire situation I just came across.
The G.o.ddesss then lifted her countenance and flew high up on the air, towards the spirit she summoned and called "Igniteress". While she was closing the portal-like rift she said...
"Jaiden, in this world you will have tribulations, same of those who believes in the most high. People will have trouble believing your words and will call you mad and many will even consider you an outcast. I will be watching you thoroughly Jaiden. The monochrome in my art"s canvas."
I did not understand half of what she said, but whatever. Exhausted and tired, my body felt weak and my feet became numb and my vision slowly blurred away. Last thing I remembered seeing, is the moon s.h.i.+ning in its glory that reminded me of how my fate is preordained to be.
One that does not know how to feel...
One that is set on the monochromatic angle...
Without a spark of color.
______________________
A week pa.s.sed...
I started to gain my consciousness again. To my awakening, I was in a hospital with an old lady sleeping on a chair besides me, and on the window, Lacrimosa was standing graciously watching the view. The panorama that time, made it seem that she was a hundred times more pulchritudinous than that moonlit and heinous night. She then noticed me and said with a very calm facade...
"Oh so you are wake"
"So it"s really not a dream....What are you doing here. Get out of here before someone sees you". I probably thought that anyone who will see her will a.s.suredly think that she was a weird cosplaying otaku.
"Huh? Have you perhaps forgotten that I cant be seen by normal individuals?"
"What are you saying? That I am abnormal?"
"I leave that to your own cognition:" she replied with a face about to burst in laughter.
"Oh whatever. So who is this old hag beside me?" I asked as I was frantically in an edge to know who and why she was there"
"You"ll soon find out"
"Is she, who you pointed your finger into, to be the last of my relati--?"
As I was still talking, the old lady rose from her sleep and was surprised that I was up. She put her fragile arms around me and said...
"Oh Jaiden how are you? Thanks to the almighty. I saw great smoke and fire arise from the house and so, I rushed into aid, yet to my surprise you"re the only one that is there . Whe- where are your parents gone?"
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Yet, a look of blatant confusion was predominant in my demeanor as I have no idea of who she was at the slightest sense.
"Do you have any recollection of who I am?." the elderly asked with teary eyes."
"I am sorry, but I can"t seem to remember" I answered.
"Oh. It"s ok. I expected it to be this way, since you were so little when I left that household. So your father did not even talk a bit about me to you." She then took some time to wipe of the tears that are about to gush forth.
"Are you perhaps acquainted with my family?" I wondered, as she said that she left my household long ago. I presage that she might be one of our workers or is a legit business partner.
"Please allow me to do the introduction. I am Silvia...Silvia Cendrillon. The mother of your father. " She answered, bowing her head in respect to the ancient custom of those who consider themselves as a part of a n.o.bility.
"So that makes you my grandmother?"
"Yes, at any rate."she responded.
So this was the lady, Lacrimosa was talking about. I glimpsed at the G.o.ddess who was busy observing us from the distance . So she really can"t be seen by others huh. I thought.
"What"s wrong? Is something over there?"
"Oh it"s nothing. By the way gran- . Oh of how may I address you?"
" You can call me Gramma. Or whatever name you find easy to p.r.o.nounce "
"So I"ll call you that then Gramma. "
"It has been a long time now Jaiden. I completely remembered that I left the family when you were only four years of age. It is unfortunate however that our first meeting in decades is like this. "
"So why did you left?" Curiously, I asked without having second thoughts of how it might affect her. There was utter silence I the room for about minute.
"Wherever there is money. There is evil Jaiden. " she answered while her facade was turning to something that is rather melancholic .
Well I can"t argue with that. As if it had not been for money, my brother would not have committed such a heinous crime from the get-go. Then while we were in a middle of our conversation, a suite of men came bulging out of the door. One was a doctor and the other three seemed to be police officers.
"Excuse us lady Silvia. We have something to discuss with the lad. "
"Ah right, give me a second. I am sorry to cut off our reunion in this kind of extent but first I must ask you this... After this Jaiden, would you care to live with me? After all your parents" and your acquaintances" whereabouts remain unknown after a week of intensive search. The place may not be as big as your previous one but hey, I"ll offer you quality life"
So I was sleeping here for a week already? And what unknown whereabouts are they talking about? Did they actually think that they are alive? Then a voice suddenly came into my head in some sort of psyche and answered "Glad you found out". That voice however, I recognized as Lacrimosa"s who was standing by the window with a sarcastic smile.
"Ehemm. Thank you for the offer Gramma. I will without a doubt accept your kindness."
"Well then. I sure am glad to hear that "
Having said that , the elderly then turned away and opened the door.
"I"ll be waiting outside"
"Yes ma"am " the three intrusive men answered.
As the person who claimed to be my grandma took her leave, the doctor then begun examining me and my status quo while the three police officers started bombarding me with unfathomable questions as to what happened that night. I decided to state nothing but the truth and the truth alone, as lying would likely improve nothing.
Yet they did not believe to anything that I said. Worst is that the doctor even diagnosed me to have "Dementia" as my mental state was deteriorating from their perspectives. My entire household was then deemed "Missing" as they neglected the truth that I spouted, saying that they were killed by the same person. After all, the fire from the summon of Lacrimosa was so potent that it did not even leave a miniscule trail of blood that could have served as a blatant evidence.
Current time. 3rd of May. Year 2019.
13 years have pa.s.sed. I am now in the verge of legal age. I lived with my grandma who took care of me as if I was of her own, and is actually the same person who owned the hospital where I woke up from. Although she began to worry on my "emotionless" facade that I showed from time to time, as I was having difficulties from smiling alone. The old lady then took car of the businesses and corporations my father left upon his death, but this time, no profit are to be earned as she will give everything that it earns to the ma.s.ses as a sort of public service. Nothing really changed that much and the clock-like symbol on my hand stayed the same as it was that night, explicitly saying that Nothing in my story had improved or retrograded. Nothing really was new from that point on, except that I have a G.o.ddess as a friend (Albeit, I don"t know if she really consider me as one , but fair enough) and Dementia as an excuse to skip school for at least twice a week.
Oh and after tomorrow, another disparaging and boring academic year is about to commence with nothing on it but unessential lessons you can palpably live without. Yet sad to say, we are h.e.l.l-bent to do it, as it is a mad world we currently live in, and to walk around in endless and ubiquitous circles is the "best" thing to do,because in any endeavor to alter a sacrosanct or a paradigm would be against the norms, and you"ll pay a h.e.l.l of consequences, from this judgmental and overseeing society, full of minds set to serving mediocrity.
____________________________
Playwright"s note:
Dear readers. If you made it this far, I would like to say thank you for your reads. It means a lot to me, knowing that my efforts are paid off by your support.The next chapter will introduce the new life of our protagonist and is likely to introduce the Prima Donna of the story, the deviant girl. Message me for suggestions and let us improve and move the story together^^.
G.o.dspeed.