"They laughed at me because I was different. I laughed back at them because they were all the same"-Kurt Cobain
・．━━━━━━━━━━━━ † ━━━━━━━━━━━━．・
Whatever obscurity that took place that eventide, I considered obsolete in my memories as dwelling in the past can"t help me do anything at all. That...is undoubtedly correct. Although the saved images in my mind can"t seem to let me go for the better, haunting me to my quotidian living up to my worst nightmares, I compelled myself to move on, towards a future so opaque and colorless, that it is enough to induce someone into the highest extent of nausea, or into the deepest part of the abyss, where a single ray of hope can"t enter and where a minuscule of a gargantuan despair can"t even abscond.
"Insignificant."
If I were to describe how the years came and go from that grotesque night of derangement, it was to be that one word.
Everyday, I would wake up in the same room and follow the exact same path, to dully live the recent day same as yesterday. As Spencer Cathart would say , "everyday is a new adventure", yet along the way of that pilgrimage, nothing really changed, for me...at least. I am now 17 years old and is currently attending a life of humility and simplicity with a bit of mixture of a supernatural element, yet with great satisfaction. And today, a big alteration to my daily paradigm is about to unveil.
What? Don"t tell me you expected more?
Well, as far as it concerned me, I am currently enrolled in an elite educational inst.i.tution where if you lack intelligence, you are of no meaning and merit. Oh right, every educational inst.i.tution is like that, may it be elite or not...my bad. Education today fail to fathomless extents that calling it "education" would be a stereotypical insult . How can I say so, you ask? Well, there are barrels of rational reasons and a few arguments that support the idea of education as a daunted system. Hear me out as I extrapolate a few, with my experiences as the pedestal...
First. Teachers would offer more of their attention on students that are already intellectually stellar and have a clear future up ahead and just discard those students that really need help in discovering their potential and capabilities from the get-go. Simply put, if we are to not have these "innate" talents to reign supreme in any academic endeavors, we are hereby given the sobriquet "Nimrod" a name of petty humiliation, as it mean nothing more but foolishness and uselessness.
Second. Instead of going to school to learn, majority of parents would desperately make their children binge study the whole d.a.m.ned academic book before the school year would even start or even enroll them on cramming schools and pay a fortune , for them to notch an easy honor roll when cla.s.s officially starts. That, dear parents, destroy the core purpose of the existence of education, and most of the time just makes me wonder, if school really is a place for learning or is it just a mad dominance filled with selfish pa.s.sion and compet.i.tion. Really, tell me, which is it? School as a place of learning? Or school as a place for your children"s" compet.i.tion, where we deem ourselves as pokemons that never questions their owners" decisions ,and are exploited from time to time. Compet.i.tion overall is not bad of course, yet as to how it was implemented in the system falter in ways that are a.s.sured to give off unauthentic aftermaths. Yet, I can neither blame the parents or the learners as it is clearly the system"s own fault on brainwas.h.i.+ng the ma.s.ses, that education is "life"s greatest equalizer" which literally is not and never will, as it failed to reach even a quarter of life"s worth.
As an excursus, school is supposed to be a place of failures as it was preordained to be filled with our "firsts" in life. Yet that was not the case, as the system made it seem as a place of consecutive achievements making us unprepared for the unprecedented ups and downs on the upcoming chapters of our own fairy tale. Not conventional enough?
How about setting our perspectives on a more sophisticated monetary way? Education as many claimed, is a primeval gateway to what is referred to as "success", where anyone who completes it will have a decent job one day and be "happy to no bounds". Moreover, nah. I cant find myself believing in such idealistic balderdash. If education really is that potent in developing "life-long learners", then society would have had a lot of iconic personas which already made their own names or sparked any legacy in different sectors of businesses ,and the world as we could have known had long- won the fight against poverty and economical crisis. Yet what happened? 53 % of graduates according to a reliable statistics find themselves unemployed and financially struggling just a year after receiving their college or university diplomas.
And let us say, 100 % of college graduates are employed (which is quit impossible), there is one out of eleven personas that is not receiving a paycheck, five out of ten whose monthly wages don"t reach the recommended median and two out of ten, found themselves in a pinch after being recruited by corrupt leaders. Now tell me. Is education really a gateway to success? Or it simply just moved the course of life to a more intricate and harder level. Levels filled with elevated stress and escalated financial needs. Not to mention our days, under these systems are in continuous hectic schedules.
You see, the healthiest of human beings have an utmost 115 years of lifespan ,of which 93% of the current population would even fail to reach their 90"s. And in that 90 years of life (If you are lucky that is), you spent approximately 27 years in school including the fruition of your masteral course, which if converted is a whopping 41, 760 hours ,excluding the time you spent on doing extracurricular activities and your daily home works and lesson reviews . You are then expected to be married on somewhere between your 20"s and 30"s and is forced to work until you are 65 years of age only to get a dime of time left to be spent with your family before your last breath. Now, does that seem rational to you?
Why am I saying this? For no especial reason.
Out of my own self-thought of philosophic hatred against the educational system, a soft voice came in, disturbing me from the little chitchat I had with my own mind.
"I am not dumb to not understand any of the drivels you just thought, but could you cease these cringe claims? Stop making this narrative a statistical data presentation" Lacrimosa, who was by a giant gla.s.s window beside me, spoke with a facade that spells boredom from giving attention to my personal thoughts.
"On what criterion did you rate that cringe? You know, I would appreciate it if you would stop doing that. It"s high time for you to "really" respect my right to privacy" I responded, out of a minute of embarra.s.sment.
"No can do. By the way? Why are we so early again?"
Ah right, I completely forgot. It is still Six AM and here I am with a G.o.ddess who concealed her presence entirely , in a not-so-crowded bullet train in the way to a gargantuan city of renown.
◇──◇────◇────◇────◇────◇────◇─────◇──◇─◇
Looking back prior that day, my grandma was quite desperate for me to be early at the start of this academic year, which unfortunately starts today. And by the way, It may seem far-fetched, but to introduce the updated setting of my teen age life, I can"t just forget to mention that the j.a.panese succeeded in their endeavor to build an artificial island besides Asia, just north from the Philippines with the aid of other countries. They were to name it "X-seed 2000" and are to be exclusive for j.a.pan only, yet for some reasons decided to make it a city with no racial bounds. To this day, it is named as "The International Clark City" or the ICC which is about the size of Tokyo. The city hosts establishments, ranging from the rich industries, residential areas, to entertainment facilities that are by which second to none.
Now, my school is situated in that artificial island. The "Autonomous University" or "AU" for short, which is an international inst.i.tution comprised of a population from different races and discrepant cultures. It was not always situated in this island, but as it pa.s.sed international standards, it was deemed worthy to be relocated in ICC and to be the first academic inst.i.tution to be there. That is just unfortunate. It was formerly an easy five-minute walk from my grandma"s house, but now, I was forced to leave that safe haven of a home and rent a simple condominium inside the city for a more "authentic" school life and to train me to be more independent (which I already am )as my grandma suggested. There is no arguing with that woman.
As the train was continuously rus.h.i.+ng through the rails set ablaze ,and as the G.o.ddess beside me spouted nothing but complaints for this "early bird scenario", my vision s.h.i.+fted quickly from land to a vast blue sea, and in the distance, I can see the International City with its towering glories, in which one of it was unequivocally AU itself. The University, I am to attend. And don"t get it wrong, I did not attend that school to look more or less like Ayanokoji Kiyotaka from the Cla.s.sroom of the Elite, nor to have a luxurious educational background. It was my grandma"s decision to enroll me there, as it boasted "free quality education" for everyone whose admission is accepted. Having said that, and with a guardian who are so minimal in utilizing money, my monthly allowance would probably be just for the rent and for a basic head start of my new life as the old hag also encouraged me to work part-time for experience (which clearly, is a questionable excuse).
Just few minutes pa.s.sed, we arrived at the destination. I, together with Lacrimosa, who suppressed her presence disembarked from the train. It may sound half-witted, for a powerful G.o.ddess who could have had transported us here in a snap of a finger to take on a train, but she implied that she put restraints in her divine authority over nature to hide herself from the others. The "others" she mentioned, I have no idea as to who or what it could be, all I know is that she will only utilize her power given certain situations that needs immediate actions.
As we successfully got off from the means of transportation, the G.o.ddess let out a big sigh as she streched her back."Finally, I never knew that transportation could be this inconvenient", she added.
"You should be thankful that it was not that crowded, or else you would have had used the snapping-finger teleportation jutsu. You should bless my grandma for making us go early", I responded.
She replied nothing much, but a harsh "Hmmppp", yet whatever...
From my bag, I left out my digital ID provided just after my admission and logged in at the futuristic attendance terminal by the school gate. Lastly, I handed several requirements to the school registrar making my enrollment viable and validated.
"Thank you for your admission. We hope for you to have a great student life here at AU! Enjoy it to the fullest young man" the lady by the office said, in a cheerful manner that could have been enough to make anyone smile and reply with a lively tone. Yet I was different, how could I enjoy it to the fullest, when I lost all of the reason to strive hard a long time ago? Most likely...it is impossible.
I killed my brother and burned a household down together with a large pile of corpses of which four belonged to my family, and for that, my world completely began to be monochromatic in all aspect as the price of derangement. I had become what this G.o.ddess called me the "Monochrome in her canvas". A sojourn that neither sets his heart in happiness or in sorrow, not in light nor in darkness, but in constant emotionless demeanor.
"Yes, I will" I replied to the lady-in-charge, while faking a smile. I hastily turned around towards a bulletin board where I am to know which cla.s.sroom I will be starting this academic year on. I looked and red through the board, to find my name enlisted under Room 12-A8. The number 12 is my grade, whilst the "A" is probably where the earliest enrollees are batched together ,and the number eight is the establishment"s floor where the room is situated. Seriously, eight? That can be quite a pain, since I hated riding the elevators . I would rather climb up the long staircases rather than having nausea first thing in the morning due to an elevator cruise. Without further adieu, I went towards the main building.
While I ,and Lacrimosa are having a little promenade around the campus that was tainted by the sun"s glorious rays of light , first thing that I noticed was the air being so fresh and the weather so nice and relaxing to behold, that it can make you entirely forget about the subsisting climate change and rising global temperature outside the artificial city"s premise. But the feature that added to its charm the most was the peaceful silence as students are still preparing in their individual homes. It was still too early to boot.
The campus was so wide that made the main building seem so far up ahead...later, a voice of complain then again came rus.h.i.+ng to my ears.
"What is with this torture early in the morning!?" The G.o.ddess said while portraying this weary face coalesced with boredom, although she did nothing of significance.
"The h.e.l.l is wrong with you. No one asked for you to come anyway. Did I ask you? No." I replied with a bit of an insulted and annoyed facade.
"Oh no! I a.s.suredly can"t leave my precious Jaiden on his first day of school in this vast city. He might get lost, he is still a child afterall!" she added with pure mocking.
"So much of a G.o.ddess who knows how to mock. You can definitely go back to your realm and replenish your energy or whatsoever. I"ll be fine."
"Yeah, I"ll definitely do that, but before that..."
She raised her hand a little and let out a loud finger snap. The next thing i knew is that, I was already at the main building"s eight floor.
"Thanks." Well, she did save me some time and energy.
"Of course. Ciao, just scream my name if you"ll ever get into trouble. I will come and rescue you as your personal knight in s.h.i.+ning armour and you can take the role of a damsel in distress."
"Tsk. Don"t you dare alter the natural law of genders. But yeah, I won"t hesitate to invite you in my troubles, it"s part of the contract."
"I am sure glad to know that you are smarter than I thought you were."
"Excuse me? Do you know who you are talking to?"
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"Definitely. A teen in his youth who was graded an IQ of 146, but does not know how to use that intelligence to find ways to get rid of his nausea with elevators."
"Y-yeah. There is no arguing with that"
"Good boy. Ok then I"ll be taking my leave . Hope that you"ll make some friends. I Bid thee farewell."
It is rather sarcastic, as I think about it. The G.o.ddess who took away some of the most major emotions that are an integral wishes for me to have companion? Hm!That is sarcasm at its best!
She then somewhat opened a light-themed portal mid-air and entered there without hesitation, a portal, she portrayed as a sort of pa.s.sage that connects the world and the realm of the G.o.ds together. The portal then closed by itself leaving no presence of any supernatural occurrence. I have to admit, every time Lacrimosa enters that portal, fear engulfs my whole being as an a.s.sumption that she is not coming back is always made inside my head. But, she always comes back. She always does.
Then I found myself walking alone in the building"s hallway towards a room at the other end which had a sign on the top of the door. A sign that says "12-A8". My cla.s.sroom.
As I continued walking towards the cla.s.sroom, I took several glimpses towards the large and sparkly-clean windows on the hallway and there I can see the vast view of the school, and of the whole International Clark City surrounded by the vast blue waters of the Pacific. It was quit picturesque to behold such a mesmerizing sight. Moments after, I found myself facing the door of room 12-A8.
Expecting that I was the first to enter, I confidently glided the j.a.panese-style school doors to the side only to find out that my a.s.sumption was a fault and it was a wrong, awkward and diabolical move to open it up ...confidently.
Within the sunrise-tainted cla.s.sroom, there was already someone inside. A girl that I don"t know.
The words "Majestic" and "Junoesque" was not the firsts to have had appeared in my mind. Yet in the vast array of words currently installed in my vocabulary, it was probably the closest to define the picture. A girl was already there, leaning on the window. Her hair was jet black and was flawlessly coursing in sync with the tranquil and revivifying wind. Her crimson and black sailor uniform suited her very well and her charisma that I can feel from a little distance cascaded this ardent yet cordial display.
She glanced my way wondering as to whom the sounds of the echoing footsteps are, while I continued in my onset to not cause any unnecessary strife early in the morning.
I just noticed, as she looked at me, that her eyes where somewhere between pitch black and magenta that conveyed this " impa.s.sive oddity" rather than "brisk". And her skin was unblemished in its lively h.o.a.riness. She was tall for a girl, probably an inch or two smaller than I am ,and while it was evident that she was a high school girl, I did not know that someone as old as I am could be this stoic in his or her stature. And her beauty? It was somewhat on par with Lacrimosa"s ,yet I kept hidden within me the sense of impact.
I then suddenly redirected my sight towards the cla.s.sroom not saying as simple as "good morning" to her, as if I never saw an "outstanding someone". Continuously being watched , I roamed in the room to look for a seat that I would find comfortable and convenient to be in for the rest of this school year, which I presage again to be of the "mundane".
Last column by the giant gla.s.s window would probably be the most comfortable to be in as it can offer a picturesque view in case of cla.s.s boredom. I then got to that seat and placed my bag on the table, when suddenly the unknown girl took an unexpected course...
"Choosing to be the protagonist of this anime series?"
"What the h.e.l.l" was the first to be on my mind as a form of stimuli. I then stopped midway from sitting. Well, honestly that is not my intention of choosing the last column seat. While j.a.panese animation always portray that the protagonist always sit by the window, I chose it because of the convenience it can offer. Is she perhaps an otaku? Whilst I was not good at interacting with people, I tried to communicate normally...
"No. I simply chose it because of the benefaction it offers. Is something the matter?" I replied, looking at her way, calmly, as if I was some sort of a cool kuudere (which probably is not a part of my ident.i.ty).
"Hmmm. I see. Ok then"she sedately replied whilst turning her body away from my confront. She then walked towards the door and with tones of tranquil aforesaid, "See you around".
"Likewise" I responded.
She closed the door and left me nothing but peace in the whole cla.s.sroom. I took the seat that I wanted ,and enjoyed the little experience of tranquil or what"s left of it anyway. How I wished that there"s a school that have some kind a "one-student-per-room policy". I would have had enrolled there without second thoughts, but it was not so.
Later, as an hour hastily pa.s.sed, the room began to be full of students who appear to already have known one-another enough, depraving me of the amity beforehand. Yet, the query that remained to boggle me is the ident.i.ty of the girl who I had an encounter with. A girl, whose outward stature is on par with a G.o.ddess.
I wonder to which cla.s.s she is in?
"Bim-pom-pam-pom!" the sound system by the chalkboard suddenly resonated, filling the whole cla.s.sroom with silence and with a voice that seemed from a professional broadcaster following in...
"Good morning AU. I would like to encourage our dear students and school staff to head to the school gymnasium for our opening ceremony accordingly. I repeat. School staff and students, please head towards the school gymnasium accordingly for the commencement of our opening ceremony. Thank you" the message ended.
"Well... Another boring academic year. A new school bell begins to ring!"