"You must have chaos within you, to give birth to a dancing star"-Friedrich Nietzsche
・．━━━━━━━━━━━━ † ━━━━━━━━━━━━．・
I am at all cost, not in any mood to think of anything else. It was just that, the way she looked at me was something so peculiarly putrid that made me feel a little bit uneasy. But then again, I think it could have been a bad gut feeling that I must not take too seriously.
"Please go back to your respective cla.s.srooms for the first official commencement of cla.s.ses. Good day everyone" the emcee said while slowly turning the microphone in its proper place, which signaled the end of the ceremony.
Together with a large crowd, where everyone was mere strangers in sight, I took my leave from the gymnasium towards 12-A8, where I am supposed to spend my senior high school year ,and to make my promenade a little bit more productive, I familiarized the campus along the way, that I might not wonder and be disoriented one of these days, which is as easy as doing fundamental trigonometry for someone like me who was fathomed to have an authentic intelligence. Not to brag of course. In any scenario, I trained myself not to think about superiority nor inferiority, because that, is a mindset of the proud ,and later is a.s.sured to bring forth a downfall. From that downfall, people who succ.u.mbed to pride are h.e.l.l-bent to make "rock-bottom" their solid foundation to regain the stats which they have lost. But, the proud works in mysterious ways! Because once they hit that lowest point socially, they will consider it their destiny and will take pride in calling it so, hereby withholding them from their right to recover. Tell you this, what people call "destiny" is nothing but a stubborn illusion the majority chose to accept, as the moment the creator gave us free will, it was then that the concept of fate and destinies became vague.
Then it was then after the practical memorization, that I challenged myself with, amalgamated with self-thoughts for the lofty ,that I ,again found myself stranding in front of 12-A8"s cla.s.sic door. Yet, unlike my first entrance, this time, I am to open it with complete caution. There"s no telling of what lies beyond.
With mere theoretic, speculation shows that my cla.s.smates are already there, as I was a little slow in my way here cause leisure got myself hooked on some game of memory and time pa.s.sed on, without me noticing about it. This is certainly a pinch...that I am h.e.l.l-bent in enduring.
"Well there is certainly no use of standing in front of this door acting rather juvenile and idiotic." I said to myself, to open up a connection between me and sheer confidence.
The moment I glided the doors the second time around, a crowd was already inside, just as I had expected.
I can see the two of my cla.s.smates that talked with me earlier during the headmaster"s lengthy speech at the back. There are these guys and ladies that seemed to be discrepant of origin, that could be German, tall Englishmen and even more distinguishable by default are the Asians that took the majority of the cla.s.s. Yet, as I ceased my observatory vigor, I just noticed that the atmosphere is rather weird and it is certainly not what a cla.s.sroom of teenagers in the first day of cla.s.s would seem like. It is, if I am to describe, the epitome of silence and formality. I probably disturbed them from their little friendly chitchat with the main goal of knowing each other more, I thought. They stared at me , that made me a little uncomfortable, yet I continued to walk towards the desk by the window that I reserved a while ago completely ignoring the piercing glances that some of my cla.s.smates had for me.
Why are they so silent? The homeroom teacher is not even here yet ? Is this really what it means to be in a school of highly-intellectual individuals? No. I think that"s not it. They were so noisy in the opening ceremony, and that two which talked withe me in that event had that endeavor to open a topic to a random stranger. It"s just that the formality was just too serious to bare, and what even makes it more eccentric is how silent everyone is. I even took a glimpse of those two that talked with me in the opening ceremony, yet just like everybody is acting, they were silent and was sitting in their chairs with this professional stature , not a typical behavior of those that can talk amidst a headmaster"s speech. What the h.e.l.l is wrong with everyone? Yet, as every introvert would do, I just continued to walk while acting all kudere and avoiding any eye contact of any sort. But, what I saw the moment that I reached the seat which I claimed for myself was something unprecedented. It was then, that I finally knew why everyone was acting as formal as they can. The Prima Donna was there sitting valiantly picturesquely in the desk that I had reserved.
While it is clearly understandable as to how everyone got so silent and formal, what is not comprehensible is why the h.e.l.l would she take that seat when she was actually the first to see me claim owners.h.i.+p. She even got too far as to call me someone who was aiming to be the main character of an anime. Well, as an activist for equity and equality, gender it may or social status, I will reclaim that owners.h.i.+p and will not remain silent.
While she was there, avidly staring at the vast view of the city through the crystal-gla.s.s window, I took stand in front of her and spout some words reclaiming rightful authority over the natural law of "first come first serve".
"Uhmm. Excuse me, but I believed that I was the first to reserve the desk. You were the first to see, right?. "
She then slowly turned her gaze upon me, a gaze that was the opposite of the one I saw earlier on her speech upfront. Everyone got their own interest piqued and the piercing glances of those that are in the background turned to dagggers of stares. I mean, what kind of a self-proclaimed big shot would talk upfront with chins up to this person? Everyone was staring at us, while the utter and awkward silence continued to engulf the whole room to no end. She then got ready to stand up and with her beautiful pursed lips said ..
"Hmmmmm. I was just taken by the view. Here you go, advocate of equality and equality" she replied, with rather a mortifying smirk escaping from her expressionless face and what"s even more concerning is the way she red my mind as if she was an esper or some sort.
"What"
"Nothing. Here you go. I am also not in the mood to contrive an argument first thing in the morning to make everyone feel more uneasy just because I am in a room together with them" She got up and put her bag on the unreserved desk besides mine and put her nameplate on the seat.
"Well, that is to be expected though." I replied.
"Well, yeah. But just because some incompetent plankton gave me that t.i.tle, does not mean I am to be considered foreign."she added.
"Well. Don"t worry. As uncomfortable as you are, it is rather comprehensible how silent everyone would be on the first day. While the reasons may vary, it will cease one of these days" I then sat at the desk while the cold sea breeze plundered the cla.s.sroom.
"Yeah. Says him, who was the first to approach me undaunted."
"Hmm. Don"t underestimate me Prima Donna. "
" Celes would do."
"That settles it. Jaiden by the way."
For a minute there, my calmness was in the brink of destruction as It truly did not occur to me, that the first that I was to have a formal conversation was with that girl of renown. I then refreshed myself to regain the HP that I lost using the panorama outside. I closed my eyes and chilled for a bit, while the silence was slowly residing and whispers began to engulf the dominance. Not long after, the formality too followed in trance.
"Do the two already know each other?"
No! Didn"t you just saw how we introduced ourselves and just got our names?
"Are those two acquainted by any chance?"
Seriously, are these people a bunch of hooligans? Stop asking questions of which you already knew the answer of!
"Salute that guy for even making the Prima Donna herself, give up the seat"
Don"t gather more attention for me now. I don"t need it. Don"t make me seem a VIP just because I got my seat back.
"Who is that Jaiden guy? He talked to Ms. fame like it was nothing. He even got to know her nickname! It was like, he was the first to approach her, confidently at that!"
As I faked sleep at my seat, subjects like that came drifting inside the cla.s.sroom, and then, Camille Saint-Saens" Danse Macabre, played in my head, a cla.s.sical music which was like an overhaul of official soundtracks of some horror movies that have scared millions in its first release in theaters, except, it was a full embodiment of annoyance and hopelessness in a single charade of musical notes.
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This is bad. Really really bad. There"s too much attention. Is it just me? Or that decision I made prior entering the cla.s.sroom to open up a connection to confidence was a bad idea. The bardic whispers that I could hear from afar itself is enough to bring an introvert like me to nausea. It was at these type of reality that I wish, I had one of Lacrimosa"s power,that one useful and handy skill of erasing her presence entirely without a minuscule trace. But, unfortunately she is not here, and I am forced to endure this impeccable tension of scrutiny.
"Yet, in all of these en ma.s.se of unessential attention, how is she handling it?" I asked myself with curiosity boggling my mind.
I then ceased my fake sleeping and looked her way, while making sure it is not noticed by anyone. Talk about rumors of me experiencing lovestruck which the idea alone is diabolically implausible.
But, the moment my eyes met the direction, she was there... calm and n.o.ble in figure. She was not giving the tiniest heed to those attentions, instead, she had her focus on reading a book. That is an academic figure for you. As the distance between our desk was not of significance, I quickly distinguished the book to be of emblazonment "The Antichrist" by the philosopher Nietzsche.
That book if I am to recall was of value. I can"t judge the total worth, but as I reached the extremity in reading it, certainly, the book has its own viewpoints that are of integrity. Well, first thing that must be thought is that, if you can"t judge a book by its cover, you palpably also can"t judge a book by its t.i.tle.
Nietzsche in his self expressionism in that body of philosophical text is not claiming to not believe in the existence of a supreme being and he certainly believed that Christ once walked right in the palms of the earth, truly the opposite of the "Antichrist" emblazonment right from the get-go , but what he hated that inspired him to write a book of his design was Christianity and their descendance to selflessness, not minding how the creator had given them the free will to completely have their own selves and to set their current destinations in life with none other than themselves to be the main playwrights.
In that concept alone, is a treasure that none can offer lenience to as it can be clearly seen today . If I were to comment in that book however, I would have had given Nietzsche this piece of advice, he should have had directly stated his main points, especially the point that says no to the sacrosanct "If you have a G.o.d ,you should be selfless AT ALL TIMES". In the ancient times right before the seven sin Cardinals took the whole world by storm, being selfless while believing in G.o.d is truly for the better, but as of today, we need not to be selfless as lies and deceptions continue to maneuver into the world without cease. Certainly, being selfless in the modern time is like inviting a horde of dogs with open arms eat your heart out. Proof? Well it goes on without saying how the longest best-seller in the world wrote "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour". Second piece of advice is that, he should have had ent.i.tled the book "The Anti-Selflessness" and not "The Antichrist" to get the whole point across without disorienting those Christians that needed the knowledge of what they had been doing wrong this whole time, being selfless while embracing not only bliss but also lies and deceptions.
Well, enough with that commentary. This Prima Donna , while she is reading the book has this pose unlike any other. She was not disoriented or whatnot by the noise that the cla.s.s is making. She is just entirely focused on the body of knowledge inscribed in that text. Her jet black hair was amalgamating perfectly with her flawless pale skin and her sober demeanor.
Not long after, groups began to form in the cla.s.s, excluding me and Ms. Prima Donna, I am left out. And it sometimes make me worry that notable attention might again find its way towards me , because the more time you spend alone, the more rumors will form about you that you will unlikely be able to hear.That is the basic foundation of high school. I continued to fake my sleep, while she was also entirely focused on her inferential reading undaunted.
Minutes later, the closed doors were opened with a large bang! And there appeared a female figure that seemed young and was holding a pile of paperwork and small booklets which are probably the Students" handbooks fully prepared by the university administration. Sweat came running down her face signifying how she was rus.h.i.+ng to get here on time but still failed. She then hastily placed the handbooks in the front desk and started grasping for breath.
"Phew. Pardon ,I was a little tardy in our very first meeting . Well then, we can"t afford to lose another millisecond. I am Alexandra Ludenburgh and as of today , I"ll be your homeroom teacher. Let"s have a great year. And do please get a book and pa.s.s it to your back "
Well, that was really a cliched and hasty introduction, but that will do. I just hope that she will skip on self introduction and will proceed to the grading transparency." I thought, fully hoping that the concept of introduction amidst the first day in cla.s.s is not subsistent in this inst.i.tution.
"And as the books are handed down, care to start a little introduction? You can state your name, age, quotes in life and whatever you want to say, provided it will not take all of the time " she added, proving my augyry incorrect by default.
Never mind.