"In what you call "being in love." A girl fancies a man for his eyes, or his dancing, or because he is strong, and she thinks she"s in love with him, but it"s only a fancy which pa.s.ses before she"s been his wife for twelve months, and she wonders what she ever saw in him then. A year after you have been married to my brother, you will be very fond of him, and you will be one of the most important young women in America as well as in Europe. Oh, my dear, you will _have_ to take him.
Your Mother will never forgive you, if you don"t. It was quite an understood thing between us, when she lent you to me, that if possible there was to be a match. Your beauty and name, and Potter"s money. He"s really a very good fellow--a temper, perhaps; but I wouldn"t give much for a man without one, and like most Americans, he"ll make a splendid husband."
"For someone," I murmured.
"For you, Betty. I a.s.sure you, I daren"t tell the d.u.c.h.ess you"ve definitely refused Potter. You must be persuaded. Be engaged to him; let him follow you to England."
"If I did that, I should find myself being married off to him before I knew."
"Well, and if you did? It would be because you"d had the chance to change your mind."
I shook my head. "I must go home to England," I said, "but Mr. Parker mustn"t follow me."
Mrs. Ess Kay"s face hardened.
"I"m afraid if you go home after refusing Potter, you"ll have a very poor welcome, my child. The d.u.c.h.ess has been kind enough to take me a little into her confidence. I don"t think she would have sent you over with me, if she hadn"t known something about Potter; and your sister"s affairs aren"t arranged yet. Oh, you needn"t blush, and look so indignant. The d.u.c.h.ess didn"t mind putting her difficulties in a letter, when I wrote her you weren"t behaving quite satisfactorily, and you may take it from me that at present things stand like this: You must go back an engaged girl or else stay away until Lady Victoria is married."
If Mother were different, I should have hoped Mrs. Ess Kay was exaggerating; but as it was, I believed her, though I did my best to be high-eyebrowed and incredulous, till she remarked that I could see the d.u.c.h.ess"s letter if I liked, though it might be rather embarra.s.sing.
I was sure it would be, and preferred to take its contents on faith; but I was so miserable that I had to keep my eyes staring wide open to prevent the tears dropping down. I was tired, and forlorn, and homesick--for Vic and Stan, and the dear dogs and everything except Mother--and I felt such a horrible weakness creeping over me that I could even imagine myself by and by doing what they meant me to do. I thought the best thing was to gain a respite, lest Mrs. Ess Kay should drag some kind of a concession from me, which I would have to live up to, afterwards.
"I can"t talk any more about it now," I said. "I believe what you say, but it only makes it worse for me, to think that Mother should have made what amounts to a kind of bargain with you. Maybe by to-morrow everything won"t seem so dreadful."
She got up, with a relieved air. Perhaps even she hadn"t been enjoying the conversation.
"Of course it won"t," said she. "It won"t seem dreadful at all. You"ve no idea how happy we"re all going to be. Now, just you sleep well, and dream sweet dreams, and you"ll wake up feeling a different girl. Maybe poor Potter hasn"t been as tactful as he might be; that"s because he"s too much in love to be clever. But he has a lovely surprise for you to-morrow. Something connected with a certain finger of your left hand.
I promise you that you"ll like it; and now I"m going to leave you in peace for the night." I can"t tell what savage deed I mightn"t have been capable of doing if she had had the idea of kissing me; but she hadn"t. She merely patted me on the shoulder, and went out, leaving me to stare aimlessly at the door after she had softly closed it.
XIII
ABOUT RUNNING AWAY
I don"t know how long it was before the thought came to me that I would take Vivace and a handbag and run away to Sally; but anyway it was before it had occurred to me to sit down.
Sally said before she went away that I was to go to her if I felt like it, and Sally always means what she says. Now I felt like it so much that it seemed suddenly the only possible thing to do, so all I had to decide was the best way and the best time to do it.
As for the time, if I didn"t escape before Mrs. Ess Kay and Potter formed a hollow square round me to pour their volleys into my heart in the morning, all that was prophetic in my soul said I would never escape, but would suffer great confusion and rout.
As for the way, it was more difficult to make up my mind, but the first thing was to see how much money I had in my exchequer--which happened to be a gold purse Sally had given me.
I hadn"t spent much, and since coming over, dear old Stan had sent me another fifteen pounds, which he wrote was part of one night"s winnings at bridge--unusual for him, if it"s true, as Vic thinks that he continually loses. Altogether, I had nearly thirty pounds in hand, which seemed a lot, only I didn"t know at all how much it would cost for Vivace and me to reach Sally in Chicago; and I couldn"t tell until I had got irrevocably away from Mrs. Ess Kay and The Moorings.
By this time it was nearly two o"clock, and in a couple of hours it would be light. I must sneak out of the house with a dressing bag before any of the servants were stirring, and meanwhile I must pack up all my belongings except such things as Mrs. Ess Kay had given me--so that I could write and have my boxes sent on by and by.
As soon as I had realised that there wasn"t a minute to throw away, the worst was over, for I didn"t stop to grizzle. I finished getting out of my bridesmaid"s dress in which I had danced so gaily a little while ago, dashed a thin frock, a dressing gown and a few others things into my fitted dressing bag (which was almost too heavy to carry, but not quite), and then stuffed everything else, except a travelling frock, into the boxes that were stored in a huge wardrobe built into the wall.
I made all the haste I could, but I"m not clever at packing, so I heard some clock striking four, when I had slipped on my thin grey canvas coat and skirt, and was putting on my hat, with cold hands that trembled so much I could hardly stick in the hat pins.
I had been excited enough the day I heard I was to come to Mrs. Ess Kay, but I was twice as excited now when I was going to leave her. I felt rather frightened, still I couldn"t help smiling when I said to myself how little I had thought when I learned the great news about America and Mrs. Ess Kay, in what circ.u.mstances I should part from her.
Each step Vivace and I took in the corridors and on the stairs seemed to make such an incredible noise in the quiet house, that I felt like a runaway elephant eloping with a hippopotamus, but either it wasn"t as bad as I thought, or everyone was lying charmed in a magic sleep, for we got out through a window in the dining room, down the verandah steps and across the lawn without being stopped, as I half expected.
I knew the way to the railway station very well, for I had often been there since I arrived (the last time was when I saw Sally off), but the question was, when would there be a train? And a good deal depended on that question, for though Mrs. Ess Kay and Potter might not exactly have the power to drag me back, I wanted to get as far away from them as I could before they discovered that I had gone.
I was horrified to find when we arrived that--as the Americans say--there was "nothing doing," not a soul in sight, and there I was, very hot and hysterical, with Vivace and my dressing bag looking like an escaped burglaress. I had been so nervous while I was packing, that I"d been afraid of everything, even the soap in the soap dish, which had two great blinking bubbles at one end, like a pair of goblin eyes that watched me move, but I was much worse now, and I could have fallen on the neck of the first official person I saw moving about the station after I had waited for perhaps a quarter of an hour. I don"t know what he was, but when I appealed to him for news of a train for New York, instead of calling the police to give Vivace and me in charge as a dangerous pair, he scratched his head and said there was a milk train due presently, if I was mighty anxious.
A milk train sounded innocent and suitable to a girl travelling alone, but even if it hadn"t I should have been thankful to go in it. I couldn"t buy a ticket, it appeared, in the ordinary way; but when the milk train came my man introduced me to another. Perhaps he was a milkman; anyway he seemed to have authority, and he said as a favour Vivace and I could be taken. He was a nice person, and he talked a great deal after the train had given several false starts and at last had got off. I sat on my bag, as I had on the docks, in a bare, curious car, which really belonged to the milk, and sometimes when we b.u.mped I should have fallen on the floor if it hadn"t been for him. He told me all about himself, and wanted to be told all about me, but I thought, nice as he was, it would be safer not. He asked leading questions which it was hard to keep from answering, unless I hurt his feelings; but I think he somehow got the impression that I was going to see a sick relative, though I never exactly said so.
I don"t know what time I should have got to New York if I had had to travel all the way with the milk, for milk it seems objects to speed; but after we had jogged along for a couple of hours, we crawled into a station where a real train was ready to start. There were just five minutes to say farewell to my friend, and buy a ticket, when all flushed and panting, I found myself and Vivace and the bag, in a car different from any I had seen yet. It had no nice easy chairs and plate gla.s.s mirrors and wire nettings in the windows, like the one in which I"d travelled to Newport, but there were two rows of seats, and when the train moved a cloud of coal smoke poured in through the door at the front end. Babies squalled, children whined, and their faces grew black and damp with mingled dirt and heat while grown-up people scolded; but a dear old lady got into my seat before long, and just because I helped her with a band-box, she made me a present of a huge peach. I was thankful to have it, for by this time I was collapsing with hunger, having been up all night without anything to eat.
The peach made me think of Mr. Brett, and the little basket he had sent me on the docks. Then this thought suggested another. He had said he would do anything for me that was in his power, and if he were still in New York, it was in his power to help me a good deal. He could tell me how much it would cost to go to Chicago, and he could show me how to get there.
I really believe that at first I hadn"t had a thought of seeing him, but once it had got into my head, I welcomed it, begged it to sit down and make itself at home.
I could have clapped my hands with joy when I saw the Grand Central Station and the delightful _cafe au lait_ porters with their red caps.
It looked as familiar and comforting as if I"d pa.s.sed through a hundred times instead of once, and I had the nice feeling that now something pleasant was sure to happen, which one has when one first arrives in Paris.
Vivace brightened up, too, and he took me out, rather than I him. I was in such a hurry to get away, for fear Potter might have come after me by a quick train, and be looking somewhere, that I flew along with my bag and Vivace, without waiting for a porter. I followed other people out of the station, with the intention of finding a cab and driving to the Club where Mr. Brett was employed; but though there were dozens of hansoms drawn up by the pavement, they had the air of being private ones. It did seem queer that so many people should have private hansoms waiting for them at this particular hour (it was half past twelve) but the drivers with their tall shiny hats, smart coats and bright, clever faces, the glitter of the harness, the newness of the cab linings and appointments all forbade any other thought. I wandered wistfully along the line, wondering if there were no public conveyances of any kind at the Grand Central, besides the trams which were as appalling as a procession of African lions. When I came to the end I caught the eye of a well-groomed young man in a pale gray top coat, looking down from his high seat at the back of a dark green hansom with great round portholes knocked in the sides, and it struck me that there was pity kindling in his glance. I s.n.a.t.c.hed at the ray as if it had been that everlasting straw which always seems to be bobbing about when an author is drowning one of his characters.
"_Do_ you think there is anybody who could drive me?" I enquired, meekly.
"You bet, Miss," said he. "I"m engaged myself, or I"d be only too pleased, but you just speak to that other gentleman there,"--with an encouraging jerk of his sleek head towards the next vehicle. "He"ll take you anywhere you want to go."
"Are you sure it isn"t a private hansom?" I breathed up to him in a low, confidential voice, for the cab he indicated was even finer than his, and Stan doesn"t look as smart on his coach on a Coaching Parade day in the Park, as did the gentleman I was recommended to address.
"Sure pop," said my friend, grinning, but not in a way to hurt my feelings; so I thanked him, and we both bowed very politely; and the new man, who had heard after all, said that none of the hansoms were private; anybody might have them who could pay; but I needn"t be afraid, he wouldn"t charge me too much.
When he asked where I wanted to go, after all I hadn"t the courage to mention the Club. The only other place I could think of was the Waldorf-Astoria, where Potter had said any stranger who liked could walk in and sit down. I told the man to drive me there, so he did, and only charged me fifty cents, which he hinted was a very special price.
"We don"t want you English young ladies to think bad of us," he explained, and I a.s.sured him there was no danger of that, if I could judge by myself.
They wouldn"t let me go into the Turkish room--which I remembered very well--with Vivace, so I had to give him up to be fed and taken care of, and I was obliged to part with my bag too. Then I wrote a note to Mr.
Brett, just a few lines, saying that I was alone in New York, in a little difficulty, and remembering his kind offer, I ventured to ask if he would come to the Turkish Room at the Waldorf-Astoria to help me with advice.
A messenger took the letter--such an aggressively brisk child, I was sure he wouldn"t waste a second on the way--and as soon as he had gone I was beset with fears lest Mr. Brett should have left New York, or lest, if still in town, he might be surprised or shocked at my taking him at his word.
I was past being hungry now, but my head ached and I felt dull and stupid. There was hardly anyone in the Turkish Room, for all the world of the Waldorf-Astoria was lunching. I sat watching the door, watching the door, until I seemed to have been in that place doing that one thing and nothing else for years. My eyelids would keep dropping, and my thoughts slipping away as if they flowed past me on a slow stream. I caught them back again and again, but at last I forgot and let them go.
The next thing I knew I was raising my head with a jerk, and opening my eyes to look straight into those of Mr. Brett. It was he, there was no doubt of that, and yet he was different. In my dreamy state, I couldn"t think how for an instant, but as I came to myself I saw it was all a question of dress. He had, perhaps, been making money in journalism, for he was no longer good looking in _spite_ of his clothes. He had the most excellent grey flannels, or something of the sort; just the right kind of collar (I know it must be right, for Stan always wears it) and a waistcoat Potter himself might have envied. I didn"t exactly think of these things then, but I must have unconsciously taken them all in, in a flash, for I knew them afterwards.
By the time the flash had pa.s.sed we were shaking hands, and he was saying in his nice voice how awfully sorry he was to have kept me waiting. He had been at the Club, but owing to a stupid mistake there had been some delay in his getting my letter.
I was even more pleased to see him than I had thought I was going to be. I felt as if I had known him all my life, and he looked so strong and handsome, and dependable, that I couldn"t bear to take my eyes off his face, lest I should wake up and find him gone--because I"d been dreaming him.
"I"ll tell you all about everything, if you"ll sit down," I said, but instead of doing as I asked, he enquired with a queer, worried expression on his face whether I had had lunch.
"No, nor breakfast either," I replied quite gaily, but with a watery smile.