The first letter given by "The Quarterly," from Lady Byron to Mrs. Leigh, without a date, evidently belongs to this period, when the sister"s society presented itself as a refuge in her approaching confinement. Mrs Leigh speaks of leaving. The young wife, conscious that the house presents no attractions, and that soon she herself shall be laid by, cannot urge Mrs. Leigh"s stay as likely to give her any pleasure, but only as a comfort to herself.
"You will think me very foolish; but I have tried two or three times, and cannot talk to you of your departure with a decent visage: so let me say one word in this way to spare my philosophy. With the expectations which I have, I never will nor can ask you to stay one moment longer than you are inclined to do. It would [be] the worst return for all I ever received from you. But in this at least I am "truth itself," when I say, that whatever the situation may be, there is no one whose society is dearer to me, or can contribute more to my happiness. These feelings will not change under any circ.u.mstances, and I should be grieved if you did not understand them. Should you hereafter condemn me, I shall not love you less. I will say no more.
Judge for yourself about going or staying. I wish you to consider yourself, if you could be wise enough to do that, for the first time in your life.
"Thine,
"A. I. B."
Addressed on the cover, "To The Hon. Mrs. Leigh."
This letter not being dated, we have no clue but what we obtain from its own internal evidence. It certainly is not written in Lady Byron"s usual clear and elegant style; and is, in this respect, in striking contrast to all her letters that I have ever seen.
But the notes written by a young woman under such peculiar and distressing circ.u.mstances must not be judged by the standard of calmer hours.
Subsequently to this letter, and during that stormy, irrational period when Lord Byron"s conduct became daily more and more unaccountable, may have come that startling scene in which Lord Byron took every pains to convince his wife of improper relations subsisting between himself and his sister.
What an utter desolation this must have been to the wife, tearing from her the last hold of friendship, and the last refuge to which she had clung in her sorrows, may easily be conceived.
In this crisis, it appears that the sister convinced Lady Byron that the whole was to be attributed to insanity. It would be a conviction gladly accepted, and bringing infinite relief, although still surrounding her path with fearful difficulties.
That such was the case is plainly a.s.serted by Lady Byron in her statement published in 1830. Speaking of her separation, Lady Byron says:--
"The facts are, I left London for Kirkby Mallory, the residence of my father and mother, on the 15th of January, 1816. Lord Byron had signified to me in writing, Jan. 6, his absolute desire that I should leave London on the earliest day that I could conveniently fix. It was not safe for me to encounter the fatigues of a journey sooner than the 15th. Previously to my departure, it had been strongly impressed on my mind that Lord Byron was under the influence of insanity.
"This opinion was in a great measure derived from the communications made to me by his nearest relatives and personal attendant"
Now there was no nearer relative than Mrs. Leigh; and the personal attendant was Fletcher. It was therefore presumably Mrs. Leigh who convinced Lady Byron of her husband"s insanity.
Lady Byron says, "It was even represented to me that he was in danger of destroying himself.
"With the concurrence of his family, I had consulted with Dr. Baillie, as a friend, on Jan. 8, as to his supposed malady." Now, Lord Byron"s written order for her to leave came on Jan. 6. It appears, then, that Lady Byron, acting in concurrence with Mrs. Leigh and others of her husband"s family, consulted Dr. Baillie, on Jan. 8, as to what she should do; the symptoms presented to Dr. Baillie being, evidently, insane hatred of his wife on the part of Lord Byron, and a determination to get her out of the house. Lady Byron goes on:--
"On acquainting him with the state of the case, and with Lord Byron"s desire that I should leave London, Dr. Baillie thought my absence might be advisable as an experiment, a.s.suming the fact of mental derangement; for Dr. Baillie, not having had access to Lord Byron, could not p.r.o.nounce an opinion on that point. He enjoined, that, in correspondence with Lord Byron, I should avoid all but light and soothing topics. Under these impressions, I left London, determined to follow the advice given me by Dr. Baillie. Whatever might have been the nature of Lord Byron"s treatment of me from the time of my marriage, yet, supposing him to have been in a state of mental alienation, it was not for me, nor for any person of common humanity, to manifest at that moment a sense of injury."
It appears, then, that the domestic situation in Byron"s house at the time of his wife"s expulsion was one so grave as to call for family counsel; for Lady Byron, generally accurate, speaks in the plural number.
"His nearest relatives" certainly includes Mrs. Leigh. "His family"
includes more. That some of Lord Byron"s own relatives were cognisant of facts at this time, and that they took Lady Byron"s side, is shown by one of his own chance admissions. In vol. vi. p.394, in a letter on Bowles, he says, speaking of this time, "All my relations, save one, fell from me like leaves from a tree in autumn." And in Medwin"s Conversations he says, "Even my cousin George Byron, who had been brought up with me, and whom I loved as a brother, took my wife"s part." The conduct must have been marked in the extreme that led to this result.
We cannot help stopping here to say that Lady Byron"s situation at this time has been discussed in our days with a want of ordinary human feeling that is surprising. Let any father and mother, reading this, look on their own daughter, and try to make the case their own.
After a few short months of married life,--months full of patient endurance of the strangest and most unaccountable treatment,--she comes to them, expelled from her husband"s house, an object of hatred and aversion to him, and having to settle for herself the awful question, whether he is a dangerous madman or a determined villain.
Such was this young wife"s situation.
With a heart at times wrung with compa.s.sion for her husband as a helpless maniac, and fearful that all may end in suicide, yet compelled to leave him, she writes on the road the much-quoted letter, beginning "Dear Duck." This is an exaggerated and unnatural letter, it is true, but of precisely the character that might be expected from an inexperienced young wife when dealing with a husband supposed to be insane.
The next day, she addressed to Augusta this letter:--
"MY DEAREST A.,--It is my great comfort that you are still in Piccadilly."
And again, on the 23rd:--
"DEAREST A.,--I know you feel for me, as I do for you; and perhaps I am better understood than I think. You have been, ever since I knew you, my best comforter; and will so remain, unless you grow tired of the office,--which may well be."
We can see here how self-denying and heroic appears to Lady Byron the conduct of the sister, who patiently remains to soothe and guide and restrain the moody madman, whose madness takes a form, at times, so repulsive to every womanly feeling. She intimates that she should not wonder should Augusta grow weary of the office.
Lady Byron continues her statement thus:--
"When I arrived at Kirkby Mallory, my parents were unacquainted with the existence of any causes likely to destroy my prospects of happiness; and, when I communicated to them the opinion that had been formed concerning Lord Byron"s state of mind, they were most anxious to promote his restoration by every means in their power. They a.s.sured those relations that were with him in London that "they would devote their whole case and attention to the alleviation of his malady.""
Here we have a quotation {190a} from a letter written by Lady Milbanke to the anxious "relations" who are taking counsel about Lord Byron in town.
Lady Byron also adds, in justification of her mother from Lord Byron"s slanders, "She had always treated him with an affectionate consideration and indulgence, which extended to every little peculiarity of his feelings. Never did an irritating word escape her lips in her whole intercourse with him."
Now comes a remarkable part of Lady Byron"s statement:--
"The accounts given me after I left Lord Byron, by those in constant intercourse with him, {190b} added to those doubts which had before transiently occurred to my mind as to the reality of the alleged disease; and the reports of his medical attendants were far from establishing anything like lunacy."
When these doubts arose in her mind, it is not natural to suppose that they should, at first, involve Mrs. Leigh. She still appears to Lady Byron as the devoted, believing sister, fully convinced of her brother"s insanity, and endeavouring to restrain and control him.
But if Lord Byron were sane, if the purposes he had avowed to his wife were real, he must have lied about his sister in the past, and perhaps have the worst intentions for the future.
The horrors of that state of vacillation between the conviction of insanity and the commencing conviction of something worse can scarcely be told.
At all events, the wife"s doubts extend so far that she speaks out to her parents. "UNDER THIS UNCERTAINTY," says the statement, "I deemed it right to communicate to my parents, that, if I were to consider Lord Byron"s past conduct as that of a person of sound mind, nothing could induce me to return to him. It therefore appeared expedient, both to them and to myself, to consult the ablest advisers. For that object, and also to obtain still further information respecting appearances which indicated mental derangement, my mother determined to go to London. She was empowered by me to take legal opinion on a written statement of mine; though I then had reasons for reserving a part of the case from the knowledge even of my father and mother."
It is during this time of uncertainty that the next letter to Mrs. Leigh may be placed. It seems to be rather a fragment of a letter than a whole one: perhaps it is an extract; in which case it would be desirable, if possible, to view it in connection with the remaining text:--
Jan. 25, 1816.
"MY DEAREST AUGUSTA,--Shall I still be your sister? I must resign my right to be so considered; but I don"t think that will make any difference in the kindness I have so uniformly experienced from you."
This fragment is not signed, nor finished in any way, but indicates that the writer is about to take a decisive step.
On the 17th, as we have seen, Lady Milbanke had written, inviting Lord Byron. Subsequently she went to London to make more particular inquiries into his state. This fragment seems part of a letter from Lady Byron, called forth in view of some evidence resulting from her mother"s observations. {192}
Lady Byron now adds,--
"Being convinced by the result of these inquiries, and by the tenour of Lord Byron"s proceedings, that the notion of insanity was an illusion, I no longer hesitated to authorize such measures as were necessary in order to secure me from ever being again placed in his power.
"Conformably with this resolution, my father wrote to him, on the 2nd of February, to request an amicable separation."
The following letter to Mrs. Leigh is dated the day after this application, and is in many respects a noticeable one:--
"KIRKBY MALLORY, Feb. 3, 1816.
"MY DEAREST AUGUSTA,--You are desired by your brother to ask if my father has acted with my concurrence in proposing a separation. He has. It cannot be supposed, that, in my present distressing situation, I am capable of stating in a detailed manner the reasons which will not only justify this measure, but compel me to take it; and it never can be my wish to remember unnecessarily [sic] those injuries for which, however deep, I feel no resentment. I will now only recall to Lord Byron"s mind his avowed and insurmountable aversion to the married state, and the desire and determination he has expressed ever since its commencement to free himself from that bondage, as finding it quite insupportable, though candidly acknowledging that no effort of duty or affection has been wanting on my part. He has too painfully convinced me that all these attempts to contribute towards his happiness were wholly useless, and most unwelcome to him. I enclose this letter to my father, wishing it to receive his sanction.
"Ever yours most affectionately,