"Trust me, I already like her," Ashlyn says, unable to hide her huge grin. "I like her a lot."
"No, you like the idea of her," Bennet says. "And if you want to get to know someone, you have to meet in person. It"s just not the same on the phone."
"Ugh, I can know if I like someone, Bennet," Ashlyn says, emphasizing his name as if it were a curse word. "Lana, tell him I"m right."
"She"s right," I say automatically. But then I shrug. "But Bennet is also kind of right...I mean, you don"t really know someone until you meet them in person. What if she"s like-I don"t know, what if she smells weird? Or her laugh is weird?"
"Or maybe she"s half cyborg and needs to plug into an outlet to charge once a day," Bennet says with a serious look on his face.
Ashlyn and I both reach over and hit him. He laughs. "I"m just saying."
"I love you Bennet," Ashlyn says. "But you never have girlfriends, so your advice is coming from absolutely zero experience."
He puts a hand to his heart. "Ouch."
"Aww, Ben," I say, poking out my bottom lip. I"m in the middle of this swing set sandwich today, so I lean over and rest my head on his shoulder. "Don"t listen to mean old Ashlyn."
Bennet"s head rests on top of mine for a second. "Thanks," he says softly.
The front door opens and Bennet"s grandma appears, the scent of her delicious homemade cooking trailing behind her. "Staying for dinner, girls? It"s lasagna night."
Ashlyn and I look at each other. "Yes!" I say, jumping up.
We all settle around the small table in the kitchen and Granny serves us huge portions of lasagna and garlic bread. I eat all of it and only feel a little bit bad about eating like a pig. But these are my friends, so I can get away with it. If I were on a date right now, I"d have to eat a salad or something simple and lady-like. Eating on dates is not fun at all.
The conversation is always subdued when we"re eating with Granny. We talk about school and TV shows and we never mention dating or anything even remotely scandalous. Granny is really sweet and I just can"t picture talking about normal teenage things around her. That"s probably why she tells everyone she knows that we"re the kindest teenagers on the planet.
After dinner, Ashlyn ducks out quickly, making up a lie about having homework to do. We both know she"s really going home to keep talking to Bethany, but we pretend to believe her.
"You wanna hang out a bit?" Bennet says after Ashlyn leaves.
"Sure," I say. Toby hasn"t texted me in a little while, and we"re not exactly on rush-home-and-talk terms yet, so I have nothing better to do.
In Bennet"s room, I lay back on his bed, fluffing his pillows under my head. He sits on the foot of the bed, changing channels on his TV until he finds something he considers interesting. But it"s a basketball game, so it"s actually not interesting at all.
"What"s been up with you?" I say. "I"m glad you"re not mad at me anymore."
"I"m never mad at you," he says, glancing over his shoulder at me.
"Well, you were being a d.i.c.k."
"No I wasn"t."
"Uh yes? About Toby."
He rolls his eyes, finally changing the channel to a rerun of The Simpsons. "I just don"t see you being with that guy."
"How can you not see it?" I say sarcastically. "You literally use your eyeb.a.l.l.s and can see us together."
"You know what I mean, Lana." Bennet slides back on his bed until he"s sitting next to me, his back resting against the headboard. "He"s just not someone I would see you with."
"Well who would you see me with?" I ask, nudging him with my elbow. "Some loser?"
"No," he says quickly. "You deserve someone better. Better than Toby."
"I guess that"s nice of you to say."
He looks over at me, a weird but sincere look on his face. My breath hitches as his gaze locks on mine. His green eyes pierce into my soul, but it only lasts a second. Then he blinks, and he"s back to normal. "Let"s just watch the show," he says, turning back to the television.
Chapter 17.
Toby is back in school the next day. Even though we"ve been texting like normal since yesterday when I got the guts to message him, I"m suddenly freaking out when I see him at lunch.
He"s wearing all black, but he looks like a rock star instead of a goth. Black jeans, black long-sleeved hoodie. When our eyes meet, I actually can"t breathe for a second. I"m standing in the pizza line with Ashlyn and she"s talking about Bethany and how they want to meet up soon. And then there he is.
Toby is walking toward me in all of his handsome glory. Some girl stops him to ask a question and he answers her quickly and then looks back at me. It suddenly hits me how crazy this is. Me, Lana Clarke. I"m a n.o.body and yet I"m going to prom with Toby Fitzgerald.
How amazing is this?
I want to jump into song and perform a musical dance number right here in the cafeteria, singing about how amazing it is to be a normal girl getting to go to prom with someone like Toby.
And then he"s right here, right in front of me. I step forward in the pizza line and he falls into step with me.
"No fast food today?" I say, wondering why there"s dark circles under his eyes.
He shrugs and looks over at the cashier, an elderly woman who has worked for the school forever. "Not hungry today."
"Well, I"m starving," I say with a little laugh.
Ashlyn has been watching this whole exchange, and she gives me a weird look before saying. "Hi, Toby."
"Hey," he says, nodding toward her. Then he looks off toward the cafeteria where everyone is sitting. He doesn"t seem to be looking at anything in particular. It"s a little unsettling.
Ashlyn gives me another look and I just shrug, hoping that tells her that I have no idea why he"s being weird.
"Are you going to sit with us anyway?" I ask him. "Even though you aren"t eating?"
"Yeah," he says, looking back at me. Then he flinches. "Actually, uh, I have some work to do in uh, English cla.s.s. I"ll see you after school, okay?"
"Okay," I say, but it must come off like a question because he reaches out and touches my arm softly.
"I"ll take you home, okay?"
I nod. "Sure."
He exhales sharply. "Cool. Yeah, see you then."
And then he turns and leaves.
"Is that boy on drugs?" Ashlyn says. We"ve reached the front of the line, so we grab some pizza and put it on our plastic trays.
"I don"t think so," I say, watching Toby as he weaves his way through people, trying to get out of here as fast as possible. "But that was weird."
"Really weird. What the h.e.l.l is going on with you two?"
I never told her about the stupid kiss. If I had, we could talk about it now, and blame his behavior on the fact that I kissed him like an idiot. But I didn"t tell her, and now I"m too embarra.s.sed to tell her. Plus, she"ll be upset that I kept something from her. She"s my best friend and she expects me to treat her like it.
I don"t know what else to do, so I just shrug and say, "Maybe he lost some Instagram followers or something."
Ashlyn laughs and all the weirdness of that encounter with Toby floats away. We head back to our usual table where Bennet is eating leftover lasagna he brought from home.
He"s also wearing a black hoodie today, but he doesn"t look brooding and mysterious like Toby does when he"s wearing all black. Bennet is just Bennet, my best friend. I feel safe around him.
"No lover boy today?" he says between bites of food.
I shrug. "Nah, he had work to do."
Luckily Bennet doesn"t press the issue. I get the feeling he"s happy enough that Toby isn"t here today and he doesn"t care why.
You know how they say animals can predict when bad weather is coming? In my last period athletics cla.s.s, we"re forced to run track. I say forced because no sane person actually runs around a stupid football field twelve times for fun, right? No. They"re all crazy.
Anyhow, I"m jogging and my chest hurts and my leg muscles are screaming at me because I hate running so much, and then I see this squirrel in the gra.s.s. He looks positively terrified, as far as squirrels go.
I glance around, slowing my jog to a power walk. I don"t see any coyotes or animals around that might scare the poor squirrel. He"s just standing there on his hind legs, looking terrified for no reason.
I keep jogging and then I see a bird up ahead, standing on the track. He"s just right there in the way of everyone, practically asking to be stepped on. And that"s weird because he"s a bird. Surely he can just fly away and get out of the danger zone caused by a dozen running teenagers?
But he doesn"t. He just stands there, staring at us as we all jog by him. Now it"s making me think about how animals get all anxious when something bad is coming. It"s like they can tell before humans can, and they act weird to warn us. I look up toward the sky, but it"s all sunny and beautiful. A perfect, white puffy cloud day in April.
Oddly, I can"t seem to shake the feeling that something weird is going on. Maybe I"m just imagining it.
And then the final bell rings and I leave the locker room and run straight into Toby. "Whoa," I say, stopping just short of slamming into his chest. "You"re not Ashlyn."
"Am I supposed to be?" he says, a crooked grin on his lips.
"No, but she usually waits for me in this very spot."
"I know," he admits. "I kind of asked her to leave."
My pulse quickens. "What? Why?"
He shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I wanted to talk."
My heart is now a rock in my stomach. "Okay..." I say. It feels like my throat is about to close up. Now I know why those animals were freaked out. They must have sensed my impending doom. "What"s going on?"
He sighs, his eyes focused on the floor in front of us as we walk toward the parking lot. "Lana..."
He pauses, then takes a deep breath that makes my heart seize up even more. Then he just says it. "I don"t think we should date anymore."
We"re all the way out in the parking lot, the sun warming my face, before I can say anything in reply.
"So...you"re breaking up with me?" I chuckle nervously. "I mean, I wasn"t sure we were even together...I guess we kind of were? But-I don"t know." G.o.d, now I"m rambling. I shut up, clamping my jaw closed, my hands shaking at my sides. We"re at the Audi now, and Toby unlocks the doors with his keychain. "Let"s talk in the car, okay?"
"No, that"s okay," I say, shaking my head. "I"ll get a ride with my friends."
"Wait-" he reaches for me, his long fingers wrapping around my arm. "Don"t go. Let me take you home."
I shake my head. "No, thanks. You just broke up with me. It would be more than awkward to ride home with you."
"Lana, wait. Just..." he sighs. "I still want us to go to prom together."
I lift an eyebrow. "Uh, why?"
He takes my hands in his, his height casting a shadow over my face. "I like you, Lana. I just don"t want to move too fast. I don"t really want a girlfriend right now, you know? But we"ve already planned prom and I"m really excited to go with you."
"I don"t know..." I say, looking down at my feet. I do want to go with him to prom, but he just dumped me. That"s not exactly an ideal situation, the kind of prom date that every girl dreams of. "It would be awkward."
"It doesn"t have to be awkward. I swear." He squeezes my hands and gives me this rea.s.suring grin.
"Okay, well, I"ll think about it."
He nods once, and lets me go. "Can I take you home?"
I can feel the hot tears stinging my eyes, so I shake my head, choosing not to say anything because I know my voice will break. I turn around and walk quickly to Bennet"s car, hoping he won"t leave before I get there.
Chapter 18.
13 days until prom Maybe that"s why they call it unlucky thirteen.