Tim closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I was afraid she might die, and I don"t want to lose her. I don"t want to lose Mike either," he whispered.
"Of course not. They"re your family." She gave him a big hug and stroked his back for a moment.
"But Andrea, there"s something else."
She eased back. "I know."
"You know?"
She nodded. "But you need to say it out loud. You need to give yourself that s.p.a.ce and be honest."
He nodded, emotions churning inside him. "I know I"m expected to take care of Rainbow. And I"m sure I will find a lot of joy in it. I"ve come to love her, and last Sat.u.r.day down at the river I had a blast swimming with her. But I don"t feel called to be her father, Andrea. I don"t expect you to quite understand this. But the more I pray on this, the deeper I feel about it. I"ve put this in Christ"s hands, and He keeps giving me an answer that I"m having trouble accepting."
"So you think maybe your Lord has another plan, huh?"
He managed a chuckle. "That"s funny coming from a nonbeliever like you."
"I have been told I"ve got a good bedside manner." She grinned.
He tried to smile. He couldn"t quite manage it.
"Just say it out loud, Tim. I"m not going to judge you for your feelings. They are just feelings."
"I don"t want to be her father. I don"t think I"m right for her." He blurted the words, and they sounded so horrible being spoken out loud. "I care about her. I even love her. But I just don"t feel ready to take care of her. I wish"
"What?"
"I wish Mike had never come here and dumped this on me." He took several big breaths. "I"m a terrible person." He let her go and strode to the single window in the room. He leaned against the windowsill and looked out at a darkening sky. A summer thunderstorm was headed this way.
"Tim, you just punted. You fell back on guilt, which is a common thing that we all do. But you have to push those guilty feelings aside and go hunting for the truth. You don"t really wish that Mike had never turned up. You just admitted to me that you"re afraid they might leave you. And you don"t want them to go. Isn"t that true?"
He nodded.
"So your heart"s desire is for Rainbow and Mike to stay in Allenberg County?"
"Yes." He turned from the window. "Yes, yes. I want them to stay. But I don"t" His voice trailed off.
"Say it out loud."
"I don"t think I should be Rainbow"s guardian." He said the words in a rush. Just saying them seemed so terribly selfish. But saying them aloud was such a relief.
"I don"t think you should be Rainbow"s guardian either," she said.
"Is that your professional judgment?"
"That"s a slight problem, because I"m not certain that I"ve maintained my professional distance. But I strongly feel that Rainbow belongs with Mike, not you. And it has nothing to do with the cat. It"s become clear to me that Rainbow has strongly bonded with Mike. She trusts him. He"s provided stability that she desperately needs. She communicates through art, and most of her drawings are of him."
"So what should I do?" Tim asked. "Mike"s bailed. He"s got some kind of deal in Vegas that he"s running off to. I guess money is more important to him than the child."
"Do you really believe that"s true?"
He turned his back on the window and looked deep into Andrea"s eyes. Did he believe it?
He thought about the pain in Mike"s voice this morning. He thought about the look on Mike"s face that day Frances Polk had gotten him arrested. He thought about the way Rainbow looked yesterday in church.
"No," he whispered the word. "No. I think he"s scared."
"I think so, too."
"What should I do?"
"I think you need to change Mike"s mind. He"s got so many options. He doesn"t have to give up his career to be a dad. He doesn"t have to move to Vegas to be a gambler. He needs to see that he"s got a safety net here. He"s not used to having one. You know?"
Rainbow stirred and cried out the way any hurt child might. Tim rushed to her bedside and stroked her head. "Hey, Rainbow. You"re okay."
Tears filled her eyes. The same silent tears she"d been crying on and off for weeks.
"Uncle Mike?" It was a plea and a demand and a need.
Tim took her hand and whispered to her. "I"ll get him for you, sweetheart. Just hang in there. I"ll get him for you, I promise."
He looked up at the clock. It was two-thirty already. The appointment with Eugene was for two.
G.o.d help him, he might be too late.
CHAPTER.
28.
Eugene Hanks"s office occupied a suite of rooms above the florist shop in a century-old brick building at the corner of Palmetto Avenue and Chancellor Street. The lawyer"s offices smelled heavily of roses. And the old-fashioned furniture suggested the antebellum South.
The receptionist ushered Mike into a conference room with a mahogany table and formal chairs that had to be Chippendale originals. The tabletop was so shiny and pristine Mike was afraid of leaving fingerprints.
He sat alone for about five minutes before Eugene strolled into the conference room wearing a gray worsted suit and red power tie-a definite improvement in his appearance over last Sunday"s madras shorts. He greeted Mike warmly then sat in a facing chair. He unfolded a pair of metal reading gla.s.ses, popped them on the end of his nose, and opened a manila file folder that had been labeled with the name Taggart on the tab.
The lawyer read silently for a moment. Then he looked up at Mike, over the rims of his gla.s.ses. "My wife called me this morning. She told me about Rainbow"s accident. I"m surprised you kept this appointment."
Mike"s sour stomach churned. "Rainbow is going to be fine, but she has some medical issues, and I need to return to Vegas. I left a message with your secretary this morning. I need a medical power of attorney right away. I thought we could handle the permanent custody issues by email and snail mail. You said on the phone that transferring custody from me to Tim is relatively straightforward, since we"re both Rainbow"s uncles."
The lawyer nodded. "I got your message. I"ve drawn up the medical power of attorney." He pulled a single sheet of paper from the file and slid it across the table. "Do you have a pen?" he asked.
Mike had thrown on a pair of jeans and a golf shirt this morning right after the ambulance had taken Rainbow off to the hospital. He had been doing well to remember his wallet and driver"s license.
"No."
Eugene nodded, reached into his suit jacket, and pulled out one of those big black pens that looked like an old fountain pen. He unscrewed the top, and it turned out to actually be a fountain pen.
"I"m an old-fashioned guy." He handed Mike the pen, but the look in his blue eyes seemed hard and unforgiving. Was Eugene judging him?
Mike suddenly had this deep desire to explain himself. But he pressed his lips together. He had no words that could actually describe his emotions at that moment. He didn"t even know what he was feeling.
He"d killed the last few hours aimlessly driving around trying to control his heartburn and get his act together. He was no closer to understanding himself now than he had been in that angry moment when he stalked out of the hospital.
He took the pen and started to read the doc.u.ment. Before he got very far, Eugene spoke again. "I hear the Methodist Altar Guild has started a prayer vigil for Rainbow."
Mike looked up. "A prayer vigil?"
Eugene nodded. "That"s the way it always is in this town. Someone gets hurt or sick and you can count on the ladies organizing prayer teams. Someone dies, the ladies make ca.s.seroles and pray some more. Someone needs help and the prayers are said at the same time helping hands are extended."
Eugene chuckled and leaned back in his chair. "Yessir, we take our prayer seriously down here. We"re kind of old-fashioned that way. In fact, us old-timers still socialize face to face at the country club, although I understand the Episcopal Ladies Auxiliary now has a Facebook page. I"m not sure that"s progress, if you want to know the truth."
He finished talking and glanced down at the paper as if to say Mike needed to get on with it.
So Mike resumed his reading. He had made it to the second paragraph when Eugene interrupted again. "So my wife told me you"re about to sign some big deal with a casino."
"Your wife?" Mike didn"t think he"d ever met Eugene"s wife.
The lawyer chuckled again. "Don"t worry, son, you can"t keep anything quiet in this town. I guess someone from the Altar Guild heard it from Reverend Lake and pa.s.sed it on to Ruby or Lillian or Lessie or someone. Or maybe Millie Polk heard it from Charlene. Either way, the news jumped from the Methodists to the Episcopalians. I"m sure the Baptists know now, too." He looked at the paper lying between them.
Mike said nothing. He went back to reading the doc.u.ment. It designated Tim as the responsible party for making all medical decisions affecting Rainbow. It would take effect as soon as Mike signed it and Eugene witnessed it.
"So how much did they offer you?" Eugene asked as Mike poised the pen above the signature line.
He looked up. "What?"
"How much money did they offer you? It must have been a lot, huh?"
Mike was about to tell Eugene to mind his own business when the guy leaned forward, looking over the top of his gla.s.ses.
"I"m just curious," Eugene said. "I know it"s not really my business. But you see, Thelma and I don"t have children. Not that we didn"t try, mind you. But I wonder what I would do in your situation."
"I"m not walking away from Rainbow because of the money. Just get that straight. And you can tell the gossips in town that, too."
"No? Oh, I"m sorry. Everyone in town seems to think that"s the reason. I"m glad to hear it, because I knew in my heart you weren"t that kind of guy."
"What kind of guy?"
"The kind who puts money above love. You do love Rainbow, don"t you?"
"Of course I do." The words came so easy. He loved that kid. He didn"t exactly know how it had happened, but he would sacrifice anything for her. And signing this paper was the proof of that.
He put the pen on the paper. Ink flowed out of the pen"s nib as the paper absorbed it, but he didn"t sign his name. He sat there breathing hard.
"You know, Mike," Eugene said, "I"ve had a lot of experience dealing with families in crisis. And folks almost always come in here thinking the world is black and white. And I"ve always felt like it"s my job to make them see the colors."
Mike lifted the pen off the page. "Colors?"
Eugene nodded. "Yep. Colors. In addition to the shades of gray." He leaned back again and took off his gla.s.ses. He made a great show of folding them before he spoke again. "So, just out of curiosity. If you love Rainbow, why are you in such a hurry to leave her?"
"Because this is a better place than Vegas."
The lawyer nodded. "I agree. But you don"t have to live in Vegas, do you?"
Before he tried to explain, Eugene pressed on. "Oh, I understand that you"d have to take business trips to play poker in Vegas and Atlantic City and maybe even overseas. But it seems to me that you"ve got yourself a built-in support network right here in town. I mean there must be at least a dozen members of the Altar Guild willing to help you. And I"m sure Reverend Lake wouldn"t mind sharing custody or babysitting when you have to travel. And it"s clear Charlene Polk would help you if you ever got into a jam. I only say that because she gave you the key to her parents" river house. I won"t mention anything about how you carried her home the other night when she"d had too much to drink. That was very chivalrous of you, by the way."
Mike put the pen down on the table. "Eugene, all of that might be true. But the thing is, I"m no good for Rainbow. It"s my fault she got hurt today. And I"m sort of responsible for what happened to her mother. She doesn"t need someone like me."
Eugene nodded. "All right, I do understand that. But what if Rainbow disagrees with you?"
"What?"
"Just asking. What if Rainbow loves you and thinks she needs you? Are you ready to walk out on that? I think that"s the essential question." He pushed up from the table. "Take your time. I"ll be down the hall in my office when you"re ready to have the doc.u.ment witnessed."
Eugene turned and strolled out of the conference room.
Mike stared at the paper in front of him. All his past experiences screamed at him to pick up the d.a.m.n pen and sign.
And just like that, he was the eighteen-year-old-boy who had reached his limit. The boy who had known what Richard was doing to Angie. The boy who couldn"t get Mom to stop it. The boy who tried to take the big man on and got his a.s.s kicked. He knew why Angie dressed her daughter like a boy and went out of her way to make her look unattractive. He knew why she had fallen to drugs to numb the pain.
And he would always be partially responsible for that. He should sign this paper and get the h.e.l.l out of here.
But he couldn"t do it. He came face-to-face with the kid he"d been. The kid trying to solve a problem that was beyond his abilities. He should have had loving parents, like Colin Lake, who had protected his son. And barring that, there should have been someone like Eugene Hanks or an Altar Guild, or a village of people-like so many of the people he"d met these last few weeks in Last Chance.
But this situation was different, wasn"t it? That"s what Eugene Hanks and his country lawyer manner was trying to tell him.
No one here in Last Chance wanted to hurt him. Most of the people here, with the possible exception of Charlene"s mother, wanted to help. They had meddled in his life. And now they were praying for Rainbow and him.
Why?
These people believed he deserved their prayers.
That thought blew him away even though he wasn"t much of a believer. It didn"t matter if he believed-just knowing that believers were willing to put their faith on the line for him was sort of a miracle.
And then he suddenly remembered something the senile Miriam Randall had told him weeks ago. Words she"d tossed out as if they didn"t mean anything. And yet from the mouth of a crazy old lady had come wisdom.
Love wasn"t a long shot. Here in Last Chance, South Carolina, it was one of the safest bets he could make.