"Amanda said that? When did you talk to her?"
"This morning before I was arrested. She and Ethan were at the river, and we got to talking."
"For goodness" sake, Amanda needs to mind her own business. Just leave it alone." She bit her lip to stop it from quivering.
"No. I won"t."
"You don"t need to know everything about me." She turned the wheel hard, and the truck hit the gravel of the country club"s private road a little on the fast side. She obviously wanted to get him out of her truck as quickly as possible.
She pulled up beside the Hyundai. "Here you go. I"ve got your clothes in the back." She threw the truck into park and didn"t even turn off the engine.
He decided not to get out of the cab.
It took her a moment to figure out his strategy. She strode around the truck, got out, and opened the pa.s.senger"s side door. "It"s the end of the line, Mike."
"No, Charlene, it"s not. Let me lay my cards out on the table. You and Rainbow have something special going on, so if you think for one minute I"m going to let you walk out on her, you"re crazy. You once accused me of wanting to abandon her. So I"m turning the tables on you."
"Mike, you don"t understand."
"Then explain it to me. I"ve been honest with you. I"ve told you that it would please me to no end if I could find a way for you and Timmy to be permanently part of Rainbow"s life. So I gotta know what the h.e.l.l is going on with you."
She turned away and started walking down toward the water. He shut off the engine, hopped out of the cab, and followed her.
"Don"t walk away from me, d.a.m.nit."
Charlene didn"t listen. He followed her all the way down to the river and then up a weedy path to a pier that jutted out into the river"s brown water. There were plenty of people swimming downriver, but up here it was deserted. She walked right out onto the pier and leaned her elbows into the railing.
Mike followed. He handed her the keys to her truck. "I turned off the engine. I figured we might be here a while."
"You"re a pain in the backside."
He managed a small laugh. "Yup, me and Rainbow both."
She sucked in a deep breath. Mike expected her to let forth with a torrent of words, but she remained silent. He held his ground. It was peaceful here with the river gurgling as it flowed past.
She stayed quiet for so long that, when she finally spoke, it almost surprised him.
"You think I"m such a good person, but you"re wrong. You think I"d make such a great mother. But you"re mistaken."
"Okay, why?" He turned toward her, leaning his hip into the railing.
"My freshman year at UNC, I fell in love with this guy, and I stupidly got pregnant. We loved each other, or so I thought. So we decided to get married, and we came home to tell my folks. As you might expect, they weren"t very happy. But you might be surprised by the reason. Their biggest problem with the situation was that Derrick was African American. If I"d come home with a white guy from a Charleston family, Mother and Daddy would have probably thrown me the wedding of the century."
She stopped speaking for a moment. Mike could see her struggling for control.
"Anyway," she said in a fragile voice, "instead of paying for a wedding, Daddy took out his checkbook and offered to pay for Derrick"s college lock, stock, and barrel. The only catch was that Derrick had to agree never to see me again."
"And he took that deal?"
She nodded.
"Jeez."
"That"s how I discovered Derrick had a larcenous soul. He betrayed me like Judas."
"What about the baby?"
She looked away for a moment, pain in her dark eyes. "Well, that"s where Mother went to work. She felt I was too young to become a single mother. And then she managed to convince me that a child like mine would have a hard time finding adoptive parents."
"Let me get this straight. They fixed it so the guy who had agreed to marry you walked away, and then they started in on you about how it would be awful to be a single mother?"
She nodded but wouldn"t meet his gaze. "You wanted the truth. Here it is. I got rid of the baby. I had an abortion. I told myself it was the right thing to do. That I couldn"t give that child anything positive. But I was so wrong. And I"m never ever going to be able to forgive myself for what I did. Don"t you see? I"ve been thinking that I could change the past by helping Rainbow now. But it"s not true. If I get involved, Mother is going to go out of her way to be mean like she was today."
Her voice broke, and she finished the last words on a sob.
Mike pulled her into his arms. She came willingly and gripped the fabric of the county-issued jumpsuit as she wept against his chest.
"It"s okay, doll, just let it all hang out. I forgive you."
I forgive you.
Mike"s words sneaked past her defenses. Or maybe she let them pa.s.s because his fierce embrace made her feel safe. No one had ever given her a place to cry her heart out. Not like this. Not John, or Phillip, or Erik.
She"d never told any of them her secret because she was afraid they would walk away if they knew. It turned out they walked away anyway.
But not Mike. He"d followed her. He"d waited her out. And now his touch was magic. He had some serious Prince Charming attributes. He seemed intent on slaying all her inner monsters.
"You"re fine," he said softly. "You"re not a bad person, Charlene."
Why did he, of all people, have the power to forgive her? She had no answer for that. But the harder she cried the st.u.r.dier his chest seemed, until she had emptied herself of tears. Now she had to raise her head and look him in the eye.
She was searching for her courage when he said, "So, I guess we"re even now. You rescued me, and I"ve forgiven you."
"It doesn"t change anything," she said in a last-gasp effort to hang on to her guilt.
"Of course it does," he insisted.
"No." She eased back, finally. "The truth is, I should stay away from Rainbow because Mother will make her life horrible."
He brushed the last few tears from her cheeks. His touch was warm and kind. Her body suddenly noticed that they were kind of mashed up against each other. Yeah, he was st.u.r.dy all right. And hard-muscled, and male. He smelled good, too.
"I think it would be stupid for you to stay away from Rainbow."
"How can you say that after what happened today?"
"Charlene, your mother is one person. But five or six other people came to Rainbow"s rescue today. Dr. Newsome, Timmy, the sheriff, the lawyer. And you. You came running to her defense like a mama lion. And I think if the situation had lasted any longer, Elsie Campbell would have delivered a coconut cake to the jail."
"Don"t laugh at her. She"ll probably have a cake waiting for you at home."
"My point exactly. Don"t you see?"
"Don"t I see what?"
"Boy, you really are having trouble seeing the forest. Dollface, there are some incredibly caring people in your town. When Timmy takes custody of Rainbow, there isn"t a thing your mother is going to be able to do to hurt Rainbow. If she does, she"s going to look small and petty. Timmy"s got an army of church ladies protecting him. It"s kind of impressive, actually. And I"ll bet every single one of them is filled to the brim with Christian forgiveness."
Charlene didn"t say a word. This truth had never occurred to her before. Of course she"d prayed for forgiveness. The Lord was supposed to forgive. But maybe she"d been looking in the wrong place. Maybe she shouldn"t have kept this secret locked up for so long.
Maybe with a little help, she could forgive herself.
Mike tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "Amanda told me Rainbow was your redemption. I think it"s true."
Maybe Rainbow was his redemption, too. She didn"t say that out loud. But the thought blossomed inside her as they stood, arms entwined, while a silent and powerful connection sprang up between them. So when Mike dipped his head and pressed his mouth to hers, she was waiting for his kiss. She opened her mouth for him and discovered magic of the healing kind. What was it about him? He seemed to be able to chase the bad things out of her head and replace them with something fine and good. And it struck her, as he deepened the kiss, that he"d been doing the same thing for Rainbow. In his own b.u.mbling way, he"d been chasing away all the kid fears, all the monsters, and replacing them with something solid and dependable.
She let herself fall into the kiss, her body catching fire in ways that it hadn"t in so long. He backed her up against the railing, pressing his body against hers as he ran his hands down the curve of her back and then over to her hip and up to her breast. It felt so good. So right.
She was about to suggest that they take this up to the river house for more privacy when he suddenly groaned and then backed up three s.p.a.ces.
They stood there staring at each other, eyes wide, breathing hard, aroused.
"I can"t do this," he said.
All her self-doubts came crashing down on her once again. "But-"
"Look, Charlene, I want you to think seriously about buying Timmy at the upcoming auction. You guys would be perfect together. You"d be the perfect parents for Rainbow, and believe me, Timmy"s Altar Guild can handle your mother. I want the best for you and Rainbow, and the best means for you and Timmy to hook up and adopt Rainbow as your own. I"m going back to Vegas, and that"s no place for a kid. I love Rainbow, and I"m smart enough to know that I"m not the guy she needs as a father."
And with that statement, Mike turned away from her and marched up the hill to his car.
A keen sense of guilt had turned Mike"s stomach sour by the time he walked into Martha Spalding"s condo. Timmy"s weeping eyes and red nose didn"t make him feel any better. He found Timmy hanging out in the kitchen with a box of tissues while Rainbow sprawled on the couch watching cartoons with her cat.
"Took you a little longer than I expected," Timmy said, then sneezed.
"Man, I"m sorry. I stopped to get gas." It was such a lame excuse. And really, aside from the kiss, he shouldn"t feel all that guilty about letting Charlene cry on his shoulder. But he sure didn"t want to tell Timmy what he"d been up to. Timmy might get the wrong idea. And Mike still wanted to find some way to get Timmy and Charlene together.
But clearly, he had a big cat problem.
Timmy blew his nose. "Mike, I"ve been praying on this for a few days and I"ve had several long conversations with Andrea, and I"ve finally come to the conclusion that it"s time for us to get the adoption process rolling. Andrea seems to think that the sooner we get Rainbow into a permanent situation, the better it will be for her. And I know you want to get back to your life in Vegas."
Mike shouldn"t have been surprised. Not after what had happened today. They"d all come together as a family, and Timmy was ready to jump into parenthood.
But Charlene wasn"t.
And even though Charlene hadn"t been a part of his initial plan, Mike"s plan had changed. He wanted Rainbow to have Charlene as a mom, and he couldn"t leave that to chance.
He needed time.
Which he really didn"t have. Paul, his agent, still wanted him to get his b.u.t.t back to Vegas so he could schmooze the Dragon Casino people. A week ago, he probably would have signed Rainbow over to Timmy and booked the next flight out.
But not now. Making sure Rainbow had the right mother trumped everything. And after what Charlene had told him, Mike had no doubts about her as mother material. That was a match made in heaven.
But how to convince Timmy of that?
"So," Timmy said, "I"ll give Eugene Hanks a call tomorrow. You met him today, briefly."
"The guy with the comb-over and madras shorts?"
"One and the same."
d.a.m.n. If this guy was willing to drop his hedge tr.i.m.m.i.n.g on a moment"s notice, he probably didn"t have a terribly full calendar.
"Okay, we can get that ball rolling, but we need to have a plan about the cat."
Timmy frowned. "A plan? What kind of plan? The cat can"t come to the parish house."
"I know, that"s why we need a plan." Mike was extemporizing.
"I thought we had agreed that you needed to find the cat a home."
"Or maybe you could sign up for allergy shots."
"Allergy shots don"t work. I"ve tried them," Timmy said, and then promptly sneezed.
"You have, really?"
He nodded and sneezed again. He blew his nose and then said, "The cat has to go. I thought you were trying to find a home for it."
Right. "Turns out I haven"t done anything about that."
"Why not?"
"Because Rainbow is pretty attached to the cat. So"
"Mike, if you can"t find a home for it, then the cat needs to go to the shelter."
"No, we can"t do that."
"Why not? It"s just a cat."
"Haven"t you heard about the animal shelter? I mean it"s in a bad way. That"s why they"re having the auction."
"Okay, maybe Charlene will take the cat." Timmy sneezed again.
"No. Charlene already has three cats." Which was a problem in and of itself. Mike needed to deal with Tigger and Winkin", Blinkin", and Nod. He needed time. So he brought out the big guns. Timmy always deferred to Andrea on matters pertaining to Rainbow, so he invoked the therapist"s name. "Andrea thinks Tigger is important to Rainbow"s recovery." That was true. Mike and Andrea had discussed Rainbow"s dependence on the cat at great length.
Obviously Timmy had not, because he said, "Oh?" as if he"d never heard of Rainbow"s dependence on the cat.
"So I think we need to give Rainbow a few days to get used to this idea. It"s like what I do when it"s time to go to camp. I put on a timer."
"A timer? What are you talking about?"