Le Cocu

Chapter 3

"Why, it"s an exorbitant price, madame--six sous! I hire very often, but I have never paid so much as that. It would be as cheap to buy the thing. How much does it cost?"

"Thirty sous, mademoiselle."

"Great heavens! how they are putting up the price of plays nowadays!

It"s an awful shame! But I must have the _Mariage de Figaro_, to learn the part of Cherubin, which I am going to play on Sunday on Rue de Chantereine. I can"t learn my parts unless I copy them; writing seems to engrave them on my brain. I copied Nanine in one night and I knew it the next day. But six sous! that"s rather hard. People think that it doesn"t cost anything to act in society. I should think not! there"s no end to the expenses. Costumes, rouge, bundles to be carried! Never mind, give me Figaro. I have never played in a burlesque yet, but my teacher told me that I ought to be very good in it, because I am not knock-kneed.

Keep what I paid you; that will pay for this."

The _Mariage de Figaro_ was handed to her. She turned over the leaves of the pamphlet, muttering:

"Oh! how short it is! almost no long speeches, and I am so fond of lengthy dialogues! I am sorry now that I don"t play Suzanne. But I will copy both parts; then I can play the man or the woman as they want. I am not particular."

The actress-apprentice stuffed the pamphlet into her bag and went out, winding about her body an old shawl which looked as if it had often done duty as a turban for Zare or Mohammed.

It must be very amusing to let books; you see a great many people and hear amusing things; there are people who instantly lay bare their folly, their absurdity, their wretched taste; but the business requires patience, especially when one has to do with such customers as the chevalier in the m.u.f.fler.

I was about to return my newspaper and pay for it, when I heard a very familiar voice even before the person to whom it belonged had entered the door. I turned and saw my friend Belan, who, in accordance with his custom, shouted as if he were talking to a deaf person, and found a way to occupy the s.p.a.ce of four people, although he was very slim and his height exempted him from the conscription. But Belan kept his arms in motion all the time, stood on tiptoe to increase his height, threw his head back, and went through the antics of a bear in a cage.

As he opened the door, Belan spied me; he came toward me, exclaiming:

"Ah! I was looking for you, Blemont, my friend; I have just come from your rooms; they told me that you might be here, and here you are."

"Hush! hush! don"t talk so loud," I said to Belan, whose shrill tones caused a revolution in the reading room. "Wait a moment; I am at your service."

"My dear fellow, I have come about a very serious matter. I will tell you about it, and you will see whether----"

"Hush, I say; these people reading the newspapers, whom you are interrupting, don"t care anything about your affairs; that isn"t what they came here for."

"That is true, but----"

"Come on;" and taking Monsieur Belan"s arm, I dragged him away from the reading room.

II

OF THINGS THAT OFTEN HAPPEN

"Now, my dear Belan, say on; we are on the boulevard, and you will not disturb anybody; but I advise you to lower your voice a little, for I don"t see the necessity of taking all the pa.s.sers-by into your confidence."

"Lower my voice, my friend! it is very easy for you to say that. But when one is as excited, as agitated as I am, it is perfectly justifiable to shout; it relieves one. Oh! mon Dieu! how will all this end?"

"You begin to alarm me, Belan. What is it all about, pray?"

"Parbleu! love, intrigue, a woman--always women! as you know, I care for nothing else."

I could not forbear a glance at the little man. I knew that he was very well-built in his little way, and that many taller men had not calves as plump and shapely as his. But his face was so ridiculous--his turned-up nose, eyebrows absurdly high, heart-shaped mouth and big eyes formed such a comical whole, that I could not understand how he could ever inspire love; I could imagine it much more easily of an ugly face which was pleasant or intellectual; but I suppose that I am not a good judge, for Belan was generally supposed to be a favorite with the ladies, and, as he had just said himself, he was constantly mixed up in intrigue. To be sure, Belan was rich, and money is a potent auxiliary; many self-styled seducers owe their success to it alone.

Belan saw that I was scrutinizing him. He stood on tiptoe again, and said to me in an offended tone, for the little man is easily hurt and irritated:

"You look as if you were surprised that it is about a love intrigue.

Does it astonish you that I turn the heads of the ladies?"

"No, my dear fellow; but I am astonished that you are so excited, as it is nothing more than a thing to which you must be accustomed."

"Ah! but it is not always so serious as it is to-day.--You must know that I am on the best of terms with Madame de Montdidier?"

"Faith, no, I didn"t know it."

"What! you didn"t know that? A rake like you--a man after my own heart!"

"You do me too much honor."

"To be sure, I haven"t mentioned it to anybody, for I am discretion itself; but such things are always noticed; ordinarily the husband is the only person who does not detect them."

"Has he detected something this time?"

"Listen: Montdidier is a quick-tempered man, brutal even, so his wife says; and more than that, horribly jealous."

"All this does not prevent him from being----"

"No, such things never do prevent it; on the contrary, they make one want--However, you will see that it necessitated extra precaution and prudence. He is not one of the husbands who go half-way to meet you, who constantly ask you to act as their wife"s escort, to go with her to the play or to walk; one of those husbands, in short, who seem to say to you: "Make me a cuckold; I should like it.""

"It is true that there are some like that."

"What I had to do was to deceive an Argus, an Oth.e.l.lo; I had to invent some stratagem day after day. Luckily I am never at a loss."

"You are very fortunate."

"To-day Montdidier dined out; a ceremonious dinner which he could not avoid attending. Thereupon we laid our plans. His wife pretended to dine early, and then she said that she was going to see her aunt; she did leave the house, in fact, but she joined me at a little restaurant on Boulevard du Temple. Everything pa.s.sed off as we had agreed; we had an excellent dinner, et caetera, et caetera!"

"Yes, many _et caeteras_, no doubt."

"I beg you to believe that there were a great many. In the evening, Helene--that is the name of my inamorata----"

"The name suits her very well."

"That is so, on my word! I hadn"t thought of that. Well, Helene had to go to join her Menelaus. Ha! ha! that is very amusing--Menelaus----"

"And you are Paris!"

"Just so, I am Paris. What a pity that I cannot laugh now!--Well, Helene was to join her husband at Giraud"s, who gives a reception to-night. You know Giraud, a loquacious fellow, who thinks that he"s a business agent because he has three boxes standing on his desk, and who has a mania for trying to marry everybody, and that merely that he and his wife may be present at the wedding?"

"Yes, I know him."

"I was to go to Giraud"s too, but not until later; we did not want to arrive together. People are talking enough already, and I have such a terrible reputation."

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