"Reputation! Was it Madame Ernest who told you that Laure was a flirt?"
"Madame Ernest never speaks ill of anyone."
"She has her reasons for that."
"For heaven"s sake, let us drop Madame Ernest, whom I almost never see."
"Oh! that is a matter of indifference to me now."
"I can well believe it; you have other things to occupy your mind."
"What do you mean by that, monsieur?"
"If you should find me escorting a woman home as I just now found you with Monsieur Dulac, I should like to know what you would say?"
"Mon Dieu! do you mean to say that you are jealous, you, monsieur, who considered it so absurd that I should be?"
"Without being jealous, madame, I may look to it that you do not expose yourself to malicious gossip."
"Oh! I am obliged to you, monsieur, but I am old enough to know how to behave."
"You are becoming most peculiar, Eugenie; I don"t know whose advice you are following, but I cannot believe that you act thus of your own accord; I doubt, however, whether this new method of treating me will make either of us happy. Upon my word, I do not recognize you."
"I have said that of you for a very long time, monsieur!"
"I can understand your not being the same to me; but with your children!
Why, you have not asked me anything about our son!"
"Could I guess that you had been to see him?"
"You leave little Henriette here, you abandon her to the care of a maid!"
"As if one could always drag a child about, when one goes into society!"
"_Drag about!_ Ah! I prefer to believe, madame, that that word does not come from you; it was probably Madame Dorcelles who taught it to you, in speaking of her own children!"
"It is doubtless because Laure is one of my school friends that you do not like her, and that you say unkind things about her; but I warn you, monsieur, that that will not prevent me from seeing her and from going to her house whenever I please."
"But if I should forbid you?"
"That would be an additional reason for me to do it."
"Magnificent, madame! Go your own way and I will go mine."
"Go where you please, it is all one to me!"
I made the circuit of the room once more, then left madame, who continued to adjust her curl papers.
XV
A WOMAN"S SERVICE
Six months had pa.s.sed, during which I had sought enjoyment apart from my wife. At first that course of proceeding was the result of our quarrel on the evening when I returned from Livry; afterward, spite and self-esteem took a hand. One is never willing to take the first step, especially when one has no reason for self-reproach. And yet that mode of life was very far from being pleasant to me; it was not at all in accordance with my tastes. The idea of being obliged to seek happiness away from my Eugenie and my family, I, who still loved my wife and adored my children! But to think of Eugenie behaving in that way! I wondered if she enjoyed going nowhere with me? Every day I hoped that she would come to me in my study and throw herself into my arms; but I hoped in vain. Then I had paroxysms of anger, of vexation; I swore that I would think no more of her, and I returned home still thinking of her.
She could not say that I annoyed her in any way, that I prevented her from doing as she pleased. I was determined to deprive her of every cause of complaint. Often I had no idea where she went; but I could not believe that Eugenie would ever forget what she owed to herself, or would fail in her duty; if she did, then she would deserve my contempt and not my love. Thus it is that a person is always foolish to be jealous; for either the jealousy is unfounded, or the suspected person does not deserve that one should worry about him.
Despite this reasoning, which I indulged in when I was calm, I confess that I sometimes thought of Monsieur Dulac. That evening when he held Eugenie"s hand in his had not vanished from my thoughts. But there are so many young men who pay court to all the ladies, as a matter of habit, without anything coming of it! I believed that he was one of them. I seemed to remember that when I was a bachelor, I could not see a pretty woman without trying to make love to her. However, Monsieur Dulac came much less often to my house. I did not know whether he continued to escort Eugenie home, for I was not there.
Ernest and his little Marguerite had gone to pa.s.s the summer in the country, in a solitary region where they saw no one but each other and their children; but they were never bored together; how I envied their happiness! I avoided Belan, for he annoyed me; one day he believed that he was betrayed, the next day he was certain of his wife"s loyalty. I could not understand how a man could remain in that condition; if I had had the one-hundredth part of his reasons for being jealous, I would long ago have found out the truth of the matter.
Nor did I enjoy meeting the Girauds; the sight of them reminded me of too many epochs of my life. Giraud never saw me without finding a way to insinuate a complimentary remark about my wedding, and the magnificence of the supper during the ball. It vexed me to hear that day mentioned; moreover, it seemed to me that there was a touch of malice, of mockery, in their manner of congratulating me on my good fortune. Perhaps I saw things in the wrong light.
In general, society afforded me little amus.e.m.e.nt. I went about to forget myself, but I enjoyed the theatre much more; there a man may do what he pleases: he may listen or think. Sometimes I took my little Henriette there; she seemed already to understand the plays, and I was so happy when I had my daughter by my side! I had also been to Livry again, to see my son; but he was not yet old enough to understand me and to answer me as his sister did.
I went occasionally to my mother"s. I had never mentioned my domestic troubles to her; what would be the use? One should keep such things to himself as much as possible. My mother would have told me that I was old enough to know how to manage my wife and my household. I did not want her to make the slightest remonstrance to her daughter-in-law. For I knew that a mother-in-law"s advice is very rarely listened to. It was much better therefore to say nothing, and that is what I did.
Winter had come again, and with it b.a.l.l.s and receptions. Eugenie determined to set apart one day in the week to receive our numerous acquaintances. I allowed her to invite whom she chose. There were moments when I thought that she was touched by my readiness to satisfy all her wishes; I saw that she was sometimes sad and pensive and preoccupied; but I saw no sign of coming back to me, although she was more free and gentle with me; on the contrary, she seemed to avoid me more, and to dread any manifestations of affection on my part. I wondered what could be taking place in her heart.
Dulac came to our house very often. That young man had become a terrible bore to me. He seemed to be always there, between Eugenie and me. But how could I forbid him the house? He was exceedingly polite to me and most obliging to my wife. Everybody liked him; I alone did not agree with the rest of the world.
Madame Dorcelles came to our house sometimes, but I could not see that my wife saw her any more frequently; on the contrary, I was inclined to think that she saw less of her and I was very grateful to her. Madame Dorcelles attempted to play the coquette with me; she called me a savage, a misanthrope; I allowed her to call me what she chose, and paid no attention to her ogling and her fascinations. I could not help thinking that my wife had in her a most peculiar friend.
I determined to make an effort to accompany my wife into society. It vexed me that that Dulac should almost always be her escort.
Eugenie seemed surprised by my new course of action, but she said nothing. I could not make up my mind whether it pleased her, but I fancied that I detected an exchange of glances between her and Monsieur Dulac. Ah! if I had been sure of it! I fumed and raged anew; but I very soon came to myself, and told myself that I was a fool.
There was some talk of a magic lantern exhibition at the house of a lady friend of ours who had a very fine one; she thought that it would amuse the children and perhaps the grown people as well; so an evening was chosen for that purpose.
I escorted my wife; she was depressed, or rather, sullen; we took Henriette, who was overjoyed at the prospect, and I was glad for her.
We found among the company the Belans, the Girauds, and the inevitable Dulac. That man seemed to pursue me everywhere! It seemed to me that he must always disturb by his presence the pleasure to which I looked forward. I began to detest him.
After remaining some time in the salon, we were requested to step into the dining-room where the magic lantern was prepared. The company pa.s.sed into that room, where there was almost no light, because darkness is necessary for the better exhibition of the lantern.
The ladies were seated, the men remained standing. We all laughed in antic.i.p.ation of what we were about to see. Some of the gentlemen imitated Polichinello, or the devil; they favored us with a performance before the curtain rose. The darkness that reigned in the room seemed to increase the merriment of many people.
Giraud, who was beside me, whispered in my ear:
"The scenes of the lantern won"t be the most amusing ones. Look, there is Madame Belan with monsieur le marquis over in the corner. It is very amusing. Poor Belan! but he has just the face for that."
Such jests no longer made me laugh. I looked about for my wife; I was confident that Monsieur Dulac had not left the salon, where he was playing ecarte, and I was rea.s.sured.
The performance began. More people had arrived and we were so crowded that we could not move.