Xing was dragged to the Emperor"s courtyard and she waved all the curious maids out and just brought into her room. She was talking nonstop all the way there and Xing felt like she was with Lin Mubai with those constant movements of mouth producing sounds that had very little content.There was a secret closet inside her room which she pulled out and it was filled with female clothings of the highest quality fit for a princess and she was proud to show everything to Xing. She even chose a particularly elegant and comfy outfit for Xing to wear for the night.
All the while Xing was wondering what made a girl, the same age as Kouki who is obviously so interested in feminine things to dress up as a male and sit in the Dragon Throne? Does she want power that much? That is not the case since her cousin holds the power still and she is just a figurehead Emperor. What could be the reason.
Xing felt the urge to ask but decided against it since she knew, they always tell their secrets to her.
So Xing enjoyed being drizzled in the love of the first girl friend who genuinely tried to impress her without any ill-intent and went along with her.
"You really are a woman!", Akane uttered observing Xing as they were soaking in the bathtub. Xing had already named her Akane as her hair was bright red and the Earth Emperor has agreed to it.
"Stop looking at me like an old lecher...", Xing felt a chill through her entire body. This is the first time she is in a bathtub with with someone else to the exception of Chenglie ofcourse.
Do girl friends really take baths together? Xing was skeptical but was convinced by Akane... More like forced and Xing agreed. Whatever!
" How come your b.r.e.a.s.t.s are that big while mine are small?"
"Did your lover ma.s.sage it for you? Does it really help? "
Akane asked many questions of that sort to which Xing didn"t want to answer. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s aren"t that small anyway... Besides does size really matter?
Also can"t someone have a nice peaceful bath here?
"That Scar... You are deliberately keeping it?", she asked Xing pointing at the Scar in her chest.
Xing nodded and rested her head on the side of the tub and closed her eyes hoping she"d shut up... But she didn"t.
Oh my goodness! Why is this woman this annoying?
" Your lover made that Scar? "
" Where is your lover now?"
"Did he abandon you and you ended up in the inner palace?"
"Or was it your father who forcefully separated you mandarin ducks.."
She kept asking more questions . Seeing Xing not answering any of the questions, Ayane was bored,
"I know you and the Wind Emperor are not in love but are getting along well with each other as friends. But you clearly must have been in love before right? Why don"t you talk about that to me?"
"Ayane, an Emperor and Empress not in love is not even an odd thing if you"ve seen the history of all the empires. Your Empress despices you, obviously! But since you like to talk a lot, may I ask you something?", Xing almost lost her patience. May be having a girl friend is not all that good...
Seeing her nod, Xing continued, "Why? Why are you doing this.. You clearly are not interested in this... Being Emperor, dressing as a man and all that."
Xing"s question made the smile in Ayane"s face disappear and she took a deep breath as she leaned on the tub,
"Mingxia, have you killed someone, with your own hands?"
Xing paused as she was rubbing her legs... "Yes, one person... A girl actually... She tried to kill my father"
"I killed my mother...",she said making Xing"s heart skip a beat. She doesn"t look like such a dark person... Who in their right mind will kill their mother?
"Father....!", she snorted, "You are a Huang... And your father is the Prime Minister right, I"ve heard... What kind of man is your father?"
"My father is the best father one will have the previlege to have. He is amazing and he really loves me. He"ll give up anything for us... Me and my brother", Xing spoke from her heart and she has a nice smile thinking about her father.
"Hmm,I"m jealous", she picked the petals floating in the water and tore it to pieces, "Mine sucked"
"Oh",Xing said not knowing what else to say.
" I thought I was a boy for a long time... A really long time...even until my father died... You know why? Because my father ordered to raise me as a male", she paused seeing Xing surprised.
" I thought I had it all... I had to follow certain rules others didn"t follow and I had brother Jung and Yi Kwan with me and we ruled the palace and the capital city. Brother Jung used to call me "Byeol" meaning star when we were young.
There were some rumours that my uncle was supposed to be the Emperor but my father conspired against him and sat in the Dragon Throne but none of us three believed it. My father was always this soft-spoken, kind and caring person as I always knew.
But Brother Jung... He started to isolate himself from me after his father pa.s.sed away "accidentally". I didn"t realise at that time that accident was my father"s plan. After that we"d hang out but less often and after the death of General Song, brother Jung"s maternal grandfather, he stopped joining us altogether.
I was fourteen when granpa Song pa.s.sed away. Brother Lee"s mother, always used to make us all her home cooked meals. Even after brother Lee stopped hanging out with us, she"d call us and prepare us meals. She was like a mother to me because my mother died when I was young...",she laughed dryly making Xing"s heart wrench... Did she kill Brother Lee"s mother?
" Why did your father do that to his own daughter? To be raised a male? ", Xing was curious. In her case she was almost nine when she started dressing as a male and she was well aware she was a female. But in Ayane"s case she was denied of her ident.i.ty as a different ident.i.ty was forced on her. Isn"t that abuse?
" I learned about all that really late... Very late...", she had tears in her eyes, " My father got impotent in an accident when I was still in my mother"s belly. Since his entire bloodline was dependent on me, my father expected me to be a male... Since I was born a female, shattering his expectations, he decided to raise me as a male to fool everyone. He even killed my mother and played the act of a grieving husband and kept all the other concubines at bay. Others... Even I believed that he was depressed by the death of my mother and that"s why he is not gracing other consorts... But... ", she chuckled and tears were welled up in her eyes.
" I"m... ", Xing didn"t know what to say. She really wanted to build a shrine for her father and make him the Patron Saint of Fatherhood. He really deserves it. Truly, her father wouldn"t even imagine of going these things to his child even if the whole world depended on it.
"So did brother Lee really a.s.sa.s.sinate the previous Emperor?", Xing asked.
"Yes, he was always smart and never took things at face value and only believed anything after investigating deeply. He had found evidences that my peace-loving, kind-hearted, wife-loving father was a murderer. He didn"t want me to find out and went on his own revenge trying to expose him. Of course my father was too much for a little boy like him and in that war of wits, he lost his grandfather who he thought of as everything in the hands of my father. So that pushed brother Jung to the extremes and instead of trying to expose my father, he killed him.... "
She paused for a while and immersed completely underwater and came up. Xing saw her eyes red and knew she was crying and she didn"t know what to do.
She considered stopping her from going further.
Why is that everyone who grew up in this place known to others to be filled with glamour and gold called inner palace, has only sad stories to tell?