What should I give to be left alone?Xing wondered realising that it was Mazu"s doing that the s.h.i.+ps aren"t moving.
I don"t want to visit her palace and so I didn"t and now since I have a business in the seas, she is telling me unless I visit her palace, I cannot get on with my business?
Why am I being coerced?
How long will I be forced to do things I wish not to do? True, if I want, I could use my powers and push all the s.h.i.+ps to move but I"ve promised myself not to use my powers...
Why is that I have to always give something up to get something? Why can"t I just have a peaceful life living the way I want, doing what I want to do?
Xing started to have a splitting headache as she was in her thoughts. If it was before, the man in front of her would have hugged her and made her feel better but now.... Well! It can"t be expected and she just wanted to go to bed and take a nap.
She didn"t want to give in to the wishes of others and just take a nap. She felt tired.... Too tired to do anything.
Chenglei noticed her staring into the horizon with her eyes filled with sorrow. There wasn"t even a little bit of wind and the humidity made her sweat a bit along her hairline and it glistened in the sunlight but the sadness in her eyes overwhelmed her ethereal beauty making her look desolate. He couldn"t understand why he hated it when she had that look on her face. He didn"t know if he hated her for not sharing her sorrow with him or he loathed himself for his inability to help her but he did not like that look on her.
"Do my hair", he said gripping her wrist and tried bringing her inside. He wanted to distract her. If she was his" entirely, he"d have hugged her and comforted her but sadly... She is not and this is the best he could do to make her feel less sad.
"You"ve been doing it yourself till now... Why are you asking me?", Xing looked at him showing her his back steadily moving forward without considering her and couldn"t understand what"s with him these days. He"s getting more and more mysterious and like before she could not figure him out and that added to her list of sorrows.
Did he change in the past three years? Why is he trying to drag me too?
" You won"t? ", he turned to look at her his hands still holding her wrist his eyes misted with complicated emotions and his voice had a slight tremble with a childish innocence to it making her remember Baobei. He"d use this tone when he wants to get something too.
But, I"m not in the mood right now!
Xing got her hand out of his grip, "I"m going to take a nap", she said plainly and tried to get past him but he shouted, "Stop!", his grip was not even a bit gentle when he held her wrist and Xing flung her hands away and tried to leave but was trapped between the taffrail and Chenglei in the end.
Xing looked at Chenglei who had a darkened expression on his face with his lips pursed with anger and felt like her heart was stabbed.
Why is he not letting me to do what I want too? Since when did my Prince not care about me?
Xing couldn"t face him anymore and since he was blocking her way out with his hands on the rails, she turned to face the sea.
"Look at me!", he said in a tone that sent chills to her bones but she didn"t want to comply to him. She was scared to look at him having the same cold expression that day when he forgot her.
Chenglei on the other hand found her interest to leave him and be alone, not acceptable.
If she is sad why isn"t she letting me comfort her?
Xing could feel his forehead resting on her narrow shoulders and she would be lying if she said it didn"t warm her heart.
"JiaXing, what do you think of me? Why aren"t you letting me close to you... ?", I want to be the one in your heart...
Chenglei"s dejected voice entered as a whisper in her ears numbing all her senses for a moment.
JiaXing.... There he goes again... Calling me weirdly!
"What should I think of you, Lord Li?", she gulped to swallow the sorrow that made her throat close.
You are my husband, my only love and my happiness. The one for whom I"d sacrifice anything for. You are the one who gave me the utmost happiness and my worst sorrow. You are my strength and my weakness... You are my everything! And you used to know it.
But you forgot me....
Will you remember if I say this all aloud? You didn"t the past hundred times I told you. Will today be any different?
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Xing"s eyes filled with tears.
"How closer should I let you than now, Lord Li? Isn"t your heart beating against mine?", she paused stopping her voice from breaking.
But your heart isn"t beating to my heart"s rhythm like before...
"Is that not close enough?", she continued sensing him tense up, "It is I who should ask that question to you... What do you think of me? Answer me, Lord Li. Who am I to you and why do you think you can take liberties with me? ", she spoke in a low tone that could only be heard by him because he was leaning on her.
Do you think of me as your wife or someone frivolous?
" Taking liberties...? ", he snorted and his voice expressed how peeved he was and it was laced with coldness making her s.h.i.+ver, "You answer me first, JiaXing...! Aren"t you the more confusing one among us? You were married to my brother before and I saw him leaning on your shoulders, crying the other day and now I see the one who is not related to you by blood whom you address as brother touching you nonchalantly... And what should I think of you? Am I the only one taking "liberties" with you? "
His forehead was still on her shoulders, his voice was bitter and his breath that fell on her ears made her shudder.
What is he saying? Just what is he saying?
My Prince who didn"t believe me when I plainly said that I cheated on him is now asking me how many men have I allowed to touch me like he touched me?
Chenglei on the other hand was angered by her phrasing "Taking liberties". Is she thinking I"m that frivolous and I"m only trying to play with her? I gave my accounts for her to look after, I bought a s.h.i.+p for her and I even cooked for her. How could she not realise all that? Does she think I"d do these things with anyone else? Can"t she say I am not treating her as my wife already? Taking liberties? Hmpf! Who wouldn"t want to touch their wife?
And I know she doesn"t have romantic relations.h.i.+p with my brother or Lord Ming... But doesn"t she let other men touch her too? Even though it is platonic?
In the end he let his jealousy get over him, letting those cruel words out to her who was already battered, unknowing to him, unknowingly.
"Ha..Haha",her dry laugh came as his answer. She didn"t know how to answer him or why to answer him.
So he thinks of me as a frivolous woman doing whatever I want with whomever I want!
Ha!
With what eyes did he see me letting other men take advantage of me? How could he say that to me?
He is not my Prince!
Even after she tried to control her emotions, a tear escaped her eyes, rolled down her porcelain cheeks kissed by the setting rays of the sun, fell on her hand in the railing, splattered into the wind and dropped into the salty water below trying to merge into its bitterness.
Someone... Take me out of here! I don"t want to face him!
The tear caused ripples on the vast mirror of water that was deeper than anyone could fathom and unpredictable even to the best one who conquered it, as the one G.o.d who owned the deep sea felt her heart break by the single drop of bitter tear that reached to her for help.
The s.h.i.+p started to shake by the ripples making Chenglei stand straight.
"Are we moving?", he asked surprised but when he saw the despaired look on the one who turned to look at him biting her lips, he felt like his heart is being ripped out of his chest.
"Remember our promise, Lord Li!", she said with a smile and he could see the corners of her lips twitching and he didn"t need someone to tell him that her smile isn"t genuine.
Xing tried to smile but she didnt realise she was failing miserably. If it was in the past, there would have been many promises between them and it would have caused him confusion if she ever said to keep a promise. But now... The only promise between them is that for him to stay away from the G.o.ds.
Please keep it!
"JiaXing! ", he tried to hold her hands as she got over the rails and jumped into the sea with that piercing smile of hers but he felt like he couldn"t move.
Please.. Don"t!
He wanted to scream but couldn"t and like an imbecile, watched her getting smaller and smaller as she drifted towards the water and he felt like his heart was the one that"s sinking.
Don"t take my heart away!
"Mazu! I don"t want to get wet!", her powerful voice echoed in the sea that was calm till moments ago.. Calm enough for them to not move even a bit...
But why is the sea feeling eerie now?
The men in the other s.h.i.+ps came to the deck to see the woman they were dissing till now, falling down into the sea.
Just before she reached the surface of the sea, they all saw a blue dragon emerging from the sea and enveloping her in a ball of water and before they could register what was going on in their brain, she was taken to the depths of the sea.
Is that the G.o.d of water? Did he bring our commander into the sea? What is going on?
Before they start discussing, they saw a monster... Some thing with many tentacles surfacing on the water and swirling the water around making the s.h.i.+ps sway hard.
As they prepared to control the situation, Chenglei who was frozen in his place felt empty.
Did she run away from me? How could I get her back? Will I get her back?