The Emperor sighed looking at his listless brother. For a month no one knew where he was and in the past month he just comes and sits in his study, by the window and staring out. But his presence is enough to get all the troubles out.Ah Xuan saw him like this and got worried for his uncle. He doesn"t want to disturb his troubled uncle and spends most of his time in his studies with his tutor Rijun and his free time with Consort Jiang.
"Is carrying a child that much of a big deal for a woman?", after a long silence Chenglei asked his brother. He couldn"t understand why his wife thinks it as a big deal. She seems to be surprised by the face that he married her "despite" that and thinks he has some ulterior motives.
Chenglei was never someone who opened up to anyone and spoke his feelings out loud. But he now had started to feel scared that his wife might never return back to him. With each pa.s.sing day, his fear is only getting worsening and the faith he had a month ago after the appearance of the G.o.d of water is reduced considerably these past week.
Her father and Lord Ming must know where she is and that"s why they aren"t creating any trouble. They are more stubborn than her and won"t tell him where she is even if he kneels before them. It seemed like she has actually made a decision regarding him and it made his bile rise and his mouth feel bitter.
I cannot let her leave me!
He was willing to ask for help.
He still haven"t started to search for her because first of all, it would create rumours that the Princess Consort really is missing.
Secondly, he knew no one would be able find his wife if she decides not to return. Who knows which realm she currently is?
Thirdly, even if he finds her, what will he do if she refuses to comeback? Unless he finds a proper apology, he cannot be sure she"d return to him wholeheartedly. He really needed to reflect on himself.
The Emperor who was writing dropped his brush splattering the ink all over the paper.
" Mingxia... What did you tell her? ", he asked worried. If his brother asks about it, then it should be because of Mingxia, and That was always a sensitive subject for her.
Did my brother hurt her saying something untoward?
"I didn"t... She asked me why I married her when she cannot give me an heir. How is that her fault when she was poisoned? I was sad for her but it is not that big of a deal, right? It"s not like I want to sp.a.w.n some more like me? ",Chenglei looked at his brother.
But why is he that worried for my wife? Wouldn"t he know more about her past? Should I ask him more?
The Emperor took a deep look at his brother who had complicated emotions in his eyes and he looked like he wanted to talk.
" She told me once, being infertile... for a woman, it is similar to a man becoming an eunuch". He closed all the memorials in front of him and walked to Chenglei"s side.
"No, it"s not!", Chenglei shouted.
How is one thing comparable to the other? Just because she lost her ability to carry a child doesn"t mean she is less of a woman. It in no way affects their relations.h.i.+p as a man and wife. How could she think of herself that way?
" It was an unfortunate thing. What if it happened after we got married? It"s no big deal, is it? ", Chenglei sighed.
The Emperor expected his brother"s reaction to be this way.
"Yes, it was an unfortunate incident. It happened right under my nose. But... She didn"t hold me or anyone else responsible. She took it on herself and blamed herself. Heavens know how much she wants children. It was a dark time for her and it still is a deep wound in her heart and I don"t think she"d ever get over it. It is a big deal for her! ",the Emperor poured himself a cup of tea and sat in front of Chenglei who now was in a deep thought.
"So it is a big deal for her", he mumbled. He could remember the sneer in her face when she asked him why else would he want to marry her.
Why else?
I love you, JiaXing! That"s why.
"But... That won"t be the reason of her disappearance, is it?", the Emperor asked his brother.
"Hmm... You think so?", Chenglei smiled dryly looking at his brother who had the same eyes as the panther beside him. That big cat always grunts and snarls around him, displeased.
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So, I just ignored something that important for her! I didn"t even realise how big of a deal this is for her. What a big jerk am I! I deserve a punch in my face.
"What else did you say?", the Emperor"s voice turned a bit impatient and blaming.
Surely Mingxia wouldn"t have just gone hiding for this... She knows how to deal with this.
"I... I asked her if she is running to her lover. She looked hurt and told me she has nothing to say to me"
*Bang*
*Clatter*
The jade tea set on the table fell on the hardwood floor, scattering.
So did Chenglei.
With blood dropping from the corner of his mouth, he looked at his brother who always bowed his head in front of him looking down on him.
The one who always looked at him with stars in his eyes was now looking at him as if he was a lowly human.
" How could you, brother?", "To her? ", "She would be broken!"
He knew how much people talking bad about her affected her even though she pretended it didn"t matter.
His brother asking her that would have shattered her.