Divine ruler...Chenglei pondered upon that word. The one in front of him is not just a wife but also someone who has to think for the sake of the kingdoms. The Emperors come to her for help and she has the means to help them.
Even though he felt happy that she didn"t blame him for hiding that letter for help, he could understand he is not blameless. She just loves him too much to not blame him.
"Why did you arrive here in a carriage? Why not through the mountains?", Chenglei asked Xing who was now slightly disturbed by the baby"s cry they could hear from the next room.
"I lost my powers. I won"t be able to use it anymore. I"m like a regular mortal now. Although I cannot give up sword", Xing stood up to get to the baby and answered her already decided answer forgetting sometime before she had already told him the truth.
The reason she decided to hide the fact that she still has her powers because the way he looked at her when he asked her if he was mocking him, still sends s.h.i.+vers through her bones. And no matter what she cannot give up her sword. It"s a part of her.
"If he could give up his pride for me and his wish to have next generation for me, I could at least make him feel comfortable around me even though I cannot give up my powers for real."
The actual reason she asked for her powers from the G.o.ds was for the sake of protecting what"s important to her. Her master has pa.s.sed on an important duty to her for the sake of the entire human realm and she needed her powers to keep the G.o.ds on tab at least until her time.
But that doesn"t mean that she"d be using her powers leniently now. She needed her powers as a bargain, as a check for the G.o.ds to not mess with the realm. She had planned to not use her powers for herself anymore and use it only in crucial situations.
If she is not going to use her powers anymore,
Chenglei who heard her say that felt a sharp pain in his chest.
She is lying!
I made her lie...
He knew why she said that and he knew her a.s.sumption is wrong.
I"m not intimidated by her powers....JiaXing! What have I done to you?
"JiaXing!", he held her arms as she was about to leave the room to go to the baby.
Seeing his hurt expression as he held her, Xing realised the blunder she made. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.As usual she had told him the truth already and had tried hard to lie afterwards.
The man looking at her felt like his heart would burst by the pain he felt.
"We need to talk", he said and pulled a chair for her to sit.
"Alright", she sighed and sat. He is right.
"Why are you lying?", he cleared his throat and asked but still his voice shook. He wanted to hear it from her.
" I... I thought since I"m not going to be using it anymore, I will let everyone know that I lost my powers so that no one would..."
"The truth, JiaXing", his voice got a bit impatient. He could always read her like a book.
"I"m not lying. This is one of the reasons", she placed her hands over her face and rubbed it, making her red.
"The main reason?", he probed, he needed to hear it from her so he wouldn"t do such blunder ever again.
She is amazing and she is better than me. I can accept that. I must accept her as she is... Good and bad.
"Can"t you leave it, Chenglei? You know the truth anyway", she felt her head throbbing with pain.
"No. I need to hear it JiaXing. Tell me what you thought before you decided to lie to me", he pushed her to tell him the truth.
From what he knew about her, she is not someone who takes all the sufferings with her head down. Yet, she endured everything he put her through in their Manor. He knew how much she was hurt by the way she cried but she never voiced her thoughts and just kept quietly enduring.
She could have slapped him hard when he started ignoring her and their misunderstanding wouldn"t have escalated to what it is now leading to separation.
He wants a wife, not a slave!
And, of all, she cannot become this person who would endure it for the sake of another person.
He had decided not to make her endure in the future but in case his basic instinct awakens in the future, he needed her to stand up for herself and stop him from going rogue. With her or with others, He wanted her to be his moral compa.s.s as he himself had no confidence when it comes to that issue.
I"m trash and I know it. I"m only good to her.
" I didn"t want anything between us anymore, Chenglei. That"s it. I"ve fought for you all my life. Every step I took, I took it so that I"d be closer to you. I chased so that I"d be closer to you. But one day, without knowing I had become so great. I didn"t realise that since in my eyes you were the Prince and I was a poor little girl,always. I don"t know why but the past you didn"t find me appalling. Maybe you saw me as the little girl you met too... ", she paused and took a gulp of wine,
" But then you forgot me and my life changed. I realised I am not like the others and I am more important and better than others. But what got me more was that, the way you looked at me changed. Only then I realised how different and intimidating I am for others. I"ve always seen myself in your eyes, Chenglei.
And don"t get me wrong, I know my worth and I know my duties and I know who I am. I will not ignore it or throw it all away for you as it would betray myself. But I"m not willing to lose you for the other things either. Throwing you away for any reason would be betraying myself too. Call me selfish, I want everything. And so... "
" And so you decided to keep your powers and hide it from me. You didn"t want to confront me and tell me to my face that I"m being unreasonable. Although, I never told you that you cannot use your powers or your sword", his tone was a little accusative.
"I know how good you are with a sword JiaXing and I know how powerful you are even though I have never seen you using it. I"ve seen how even the G.o.ds treat you. I never wanted you to lose this or that, JiaXing. It is the truth. And I never was intimidated by your powers or your wealth. You never made me feel that way"
Find authorized novels in Webnovel，faster updates, better experience，Please click for visiting.
"But you said that I"m mocking you with my powers", she cut him off.
What is he saying?
"Yes! I did! But what I meant was that I was dumb and was jealous and somehow under the impression that you would leave me in a heartbeat once you find your lover",he sighed and seeing her mouth move without knowing what to say, he continued chuckling awkwardly.
" I thought you didn"t need me. I was wrong not to see the love you have for me. I know I was in the wrong.... d.a.m.n woman, you tied me to the bed with a thread and I sat there without moving.... That"s how much influence you have on me. Can"t you see you have me wrapped in your little finger? And I stupidly failed to see your deep love for me and thought that you have no reason to stay with me and tried to hold you inside the manor. How much of an idiot am I? ", he buried his face inside his palms and sighed.
" That"s it? ", Xing felt relieved." Well, not all the blame is on you. It was part of the trials.... Now, I can see... You didn"t mind me standing in the frontlines when we were about to find the Ouyang Navy... And the match with Ryuga.... You treated me fairly... You only changed after we got married.... No, to be precise when we were in the fire Kingdom.. "
" I read the letter you wrote for yourself", he looked guilty as he showed her the half burnt letter he still kept.
"Ah, so that"s why", Xing shook her head. "You thought I was waiting for "My Prince" to come and scoop me out of our Manor when you already did", she laughed.
"You"re not angry I did a lowly thing?", he was surprised by her hearty laugh.
"So you know what you did is lowly. You didn"t ask me about "My Prince", either and decided by yourself", she chuckled.
"How stupid we both are!", she banged the table,
"And why would I be angry? I know how much of a sc.u.m you are. You are a dark person and incapable of thinking about others.you were nice only to me and a select few",she laughed some more.
" Since wife knows that about me, I ask you to guide me in the future and speak your mind and not hide stuff from me. I"m stupid too", Chenglei didn"t get angry and spoke bowing to her.
"Fine.... Did you see this... Life is a circle... In the beginning, I thought I was not good enough for you and chased after you and now you thought I will leave you and tried to hold me. Both of us were chasing after each other not knowing we are running in circles... ", she got up and sat in his lap and hugged his neck.
" It"s over Chenglei... The chase is over. We don"t have to run behind each other anymore Chenglei... We don"t... We both love each other and nothing can come between us anymore"