Chenglei was waiting outside the room where Xing was giving birth with his hands tightly clenched together as he paced to and fro. It"s been half a day since her contractions started and she still haven"t given birth.Xing"s cousin--in-laws were the ones guarding the door to not let in the mean looking man from entering inside. They were specifically asked by Xing to not let her husband in so that he can take care of Lian Lian.
Time pa.s.sed and even after a couple of hours, Xing haven"t given birth yet and only her piercing screams could be heard at a certain interval.
Chenglei wanted to break the door to enter the room but seeing his worried son beside him, he picked him up and went to the dining room to feed his son even though he didn"t feel hungry.
Please be okay, Xing! Please...
Chenglei downed cup after cup of tea waiting for news but none arrived and he hurriedly put his son to bed when he received a letter for Xing with the Imperial seal.
"The Consort is having a tough delivery, it might take a while", a physician fell flat on the floor as he informed Chenglei.
"And?",Chenglei"s voice went a lot colder and he went pale.
Is there trouble?
"Her life and the babies" life are not in danger. It"s just.. The Consort would be in pain for longer and it would take longer for her to deliver"
"You are the doctors... Give her medicines. She should not be in pain. Get the babies out as soon as possible", he banged the table with his fists and the doctor shook in fright.
"The Consort is not willing to..."
" She will not be in pain any longer. Now leave! ", Chenglei screamed and the doctor ran away. The Consort is refusing any mediations and the Prince is ordering them to give her mediations. What should he do?
Chenglei rubbed his temples with his fingers for sometime trying to compose himself but he couldn"t. Taking a deep breath, he stood up making a decision to enter the room somehow.
That"s when the letter caught his eyes and he broke the seal and read the letter. This is something common among those two as both of them read each others letters.
Apparently Consort Jiang was sick and she needed medicine and the Emperor has asked Xing to collect some medicines and send him.
Chenglei wrote a letter to his brother conveying his wife"s situation and as he was too occupied, he even forgot the fact that Consort Jiang was pregnant and her sickness might be related to that.
But, his brother who was keeping his consort"s pregnancy a secret, had sent a secret message which would be easily deciphered by any one of them, but in his worry , Chenglei failed to notice it.
And even if he noticed it, there wasn"t much he could do. In the state Xing is in, she won"t be able to find medicines either.
Chenglei felt his heart ripped up by the painful cries of his wife and waited an entire night outside. His wife didn"t eat even a mouthful for an entire day and is screaming for half of it.
What can I do? What can I do?
Chenglei waited outside with the chirping crickets keeping him company.
"It happens sometimes. Each delivery would be different...", Huang Feiye stood by his side, comforting him.
Chenglei has already sent letters to AoTian to bring Feifei here to meet his sisters. He thought with how her first two deliveries went, the twins will be out in no time too but who would have thought that they are not willing to see this world yet?
Early morning, the sky started to brighten up. The intervals between Xing"s screams got reduced and everyone said the babies will be out pretty soon.
Will it be over? He was relieved.
He received another letter from the Imperial Palace, addressed to him this time and his face paled reading the letter.
No way! Just no way!
Seeing Chenglei sliding through the wall and plopping on the floor, Feiye got the letter and read. His usual smile froze and his eyelids couldn"t stay open and he took a deep breath.
"It"s her time. So she left. We could only pray for her soul to rest in peace", he spoke gently and patted Chenglei"s shoulders.
"But how? Just within hours?", Chenglei"s voice trembled. Both letters were urgent and would have been carried at the same speed and its only just hours between the letters. How sick was the Consort to die this soon?
"Junjie... He"d be broken", Chenglei"s chest clenched as it became hard for him to breathe. He knows how it feels to have your woman dead in front of you. It would drive anyone crazy. Crazy enough to do crazy things. He did it.. He has seen men doing it...
Will Junjie grieve properly?
Why now? Xing is in pain... And my brother too... Why is this all happening at the same time?
Immediately he wrote another letter to AoTian asking him to stay by his brother"s side and not leave him alone. Next to him, his brother loved AoTian as his father. He needs someone by his side now more than ever.
Of course the letters are a week late and in the capital city, at this same time, the funeral of the Consort was already over.
AoTian is yet to receive the letter that his daughter is giving birth and he was staying with the Emperor day and night as he stayed in his study without any emotion, working day and night. He didn"t let his children meet him and he forgot to eat and sleep. But he didn"t cry a tear and was angry.
"Since she wanted to leave me alone, let her go! I don"t care. Bury her with other concubines and seal her coffin. I don"t even want to look at her face"
That"s what he said and he only attended the funeral out of obligation. The entire palace was walking on eggsh.e.l.ls not knowing the mood of the Emperor. He can take their lives for no reason at all and he seemed out of it.
The Emperor didn"t wear mourning clothes and didn"t allow anyone to wear mourning clothes and just worked everyone to the bones.
Where will it lead to?
Chenglei not knowing the state his brother currently is in, could only wish well for his brother in his heart. But what would condolences and thoughts do? What could they do? The grievances of the ones who lost their loved one will only be felt by them and them alone, melting them from the inside.
The smell of thick stench of blood entered Chenglei"s nose making him spring up.
How much blood was shed to bring this strong scent outside the door?
"Cut me and take the babies out!"
Chenglei could hear his wife"s order from inside the room.
No!
No!
He knew she"d go any far to safely deliver the children safely, but no! No! She cannot be cut!
He pushed the ones guarding the door and entered in. There she was, his wife, completely soaked in sweat with her hair sticking on her face, pale and dejected.
He saw the blood on the floor that was being wiped by the maids constantly and it seemed like she lost a lot of blood.
"Xing!", he ran to her and held her hand.
"Hubby, why is that everytime I want something I have to go through soul shattering pain to get it?", her voice was hoa.r.s.e as she held his hand.
Why can"t I get anything easily? I just wanted a daughter. Is it too much of a wish?
She had another set of contractions and she squeezed his hand and he could feel the pain as if his fingers are breaking. But it should be only a fraction of what she is feeling and he let her and clenched his teeth since the pain in his fingers was unbearable for him.
"Your highness, the Consort"s water broke hours ago and now the placenta is detached. The babies need to be brought out it they needs to survive. The Consort is bleeding a lot too",a physician said and Chenglei didn"t understand a thing.
"Make her pain stop!", that"s all he could say. She is in too much pain, she is almost delirious. He could see it in her eyes.
She always had a high tolerance for pain but being in extreme pain for a long amount of time would mess anyone up. She is no exception.
"Chenglei...", Xing looked at her man who was crying without him even knowing. She felt like her body was ripped to half from the inside by the pain and she just wanted to close her eyes and sleep. But the babies heartbeats are reducing and they have really little time to survive.
"Cut me. Take our girls out. St.i.tch me back up. I"ll be fine.", she said gritting her teeth amidst another set of contractions.
"Xing... Just a bit more... Push... please don"t give up. I"m here... ", he begged. What she says is done a few times but not once did the mother survive. They all died within a year. His wife cannot die! No! She cannot!
Xing tried to get the babies out but she really couldn"t.
"Chenglei... I want to sleep... I want to...", tears dripped down from the corner of her eyes.
"Please.. Let me... ."
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The physicians all thought she was talking about actual sleep and knew no one would be able to sleep in this pain and thought she was about to faint. But she cannot faint either. It would be more dangerous if she faints.
Chenglei knew what she meant. She wants to die. His wife is asking his permission to let her go. She could choose her death, after all. She is planning to die and then they will cut open her belly and take the babies out anyway. No one would dare to open her up when she is alive and when he is near her.
"Thank you, my love", she smiled and it looked terrible on her pale face and her bruised lips. She must have bitten her lips in pain.
"Raise them well, okay?", she placed her hand on his cheek. " Let me go"
Like his father loves her, like Xinxin"s father loves him after their mother"s death, Chenglei would surely take good care of their daughters. She could die peacefully. She has had everything she wanted and she wanted no more. Not even life. She wanted the pain to go away.
"No!", Chenglei slapped her hand away from. His cheek. This is not how everything ends.
No... No... Just no!