Days pa.s.sed and Xing knew for sure that Chenglei is preventing her from leaving the manor for some reason. Even the way to the mountains was damaged."His highness wanted to build a lake here with viewing pavilions and so we have dug this place up", Lin Mubai bowed his head as he explained Xing. But seeing her dejected snort, he felt extremely guilty and was unable to explain further.
Of course there is another lake in their Manor and there won"t be any need to build another one exactly in the way their Princess Consort goes to the mountains. Even he didn"t understand why his brother wolf is acting weird these days.
Xing tried to talk to Chenglei but he was not willing to talk to her and even started to complain that he had work and mostly he slept in his study.
There was one day when he even walked out right in the middle of dinner without eating when she tried to talk to him. And Xing stopped asking him what bothers him after that.
Of everything that happened to her and every one who"ve hurt her,Chenglei was the one who could give her the death blow, enough for her to regret breathing. And she felt suffocating staying inside that Manor filled with colourful flowers of the spring.
In the past, Xing thought that marrying him would end every troubles between them and they will be able to stay together happily. Chenglei acting this way for some reasons she cannot comprehend, made her realise her battle was never won. Her fight will never end and there will never be a day she will be truly happy.
Filled with depression, Xing spent some days inside her courtyard. She thought maybe seeing her distress, Chenglei would open up to her. But all she got was jewellery, clothes and sweets. Somethings she never valued much.
Before she knew it, she started crying alone in the dark and she missed that shoulders she"d lean on in the past that would comfort her. The gentle warmth that would make her sorrows fly away.
"My Prince! Why did you leave me?", she wept yearning for the old Chenglei. She knew he wouldn"t let her suffer like this.
All she got is the sh.e.l.l of the man whom she once knew. He looked like him,smelt like him, had the same voice as him and he even acted like him at times.
But it was not him! He wouldn"t have hurt me like this without even explaining the reason to me.
As most humans, Xing only remembered good things about the man she missed and she forgot that he had acted this way previously too.
That day when he received s.h.i.+hong"s letter, he acted the same way, pus.h.i.+ng her away and acted cold with her without explaining anything to her.
That day he acted that way, out of jealousy and fearing that he might lose her to his brother and even now he is acting the same way fearing of some man without knowing he is that man.
It"s not that he has changed. He was the same man she fell in love with. He just forgot her. And Xing who had enjoyed too much of his gentleness, felt that he had changed.
Chenglei who was standing outside the door of their room could hear her weeping and her cries for "Her Prince".
His heart broke with an unbearable pain and he sat by the door with his hands ma.s.saging his temples.
Oddly, he wasn"t angry at her for crying for that man. He always knew that her Prince is the one in her heart. He was mad at himself for letting her yearn for that man.
She never searched for that man till now. She really was happy with him and he knew at least that much. The moment he tried to keep her close to him, he could feel her drifting away from him.
He even thought of divorcing her and let her be happy with her Prince. But he couldn"t let her go and he only tightened the security around his Manor.
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He wanted her. He wanted her with him.
The more he tried to keep her close to him, he felt like the more she became sadder. He wanted to talk to her but then he was scared. What if she tells him that she still cannot forget that man and wants to be with him? What will he do then? He didn"t want to give her a chance to tell him that she doesn"t love him, her lawful husband anymore.
That"s why he wanted to stay away from her. Also he felt guilty for making her sad.
But he knew people will start talking if he is not staying with his wife. So he always sneaks into their room after she slept and would leave before she wakes up.
He himself knew he was pathetic but he was confused and troubled as to what he must do. He sometimes felt an uncontrollable anger towards her for not loving him as much as she loves that other man and he was scared that he"d lash out on her.
What if I say something hurtful and she leaves me?
Why would she stay with me? He"d think at times... Surely I"m not gentle or caring like that other man.
And so the two married couple had their hearts separated even if they were physically closer than ever. Their hearts were more united when they were separated... When she was in the inner palace and he was with s.h.i.+hong.
Even then, they were one in heart. But now, there was a great rift between them that was not repairable.
Looking at the spread of breakfast in front of her that day, Xing realised, there is no reason for her to keep herself sad just because Chenglei isn"t opening up to her.
So she decided to step out of the Manor that day and visit Maya. Chenglei as usual wasn"t home that day. As she prepared to leave, Lin Mubai and many other servants in their Manor tried to stop her pleading. Only Xiao Mei stood by her side and others had a terrified expression in their face.
They must have been sternly warned by her husband to keep her locked up inside! Xing smiled dryly.
Xing just glared at them. In the end, they couldn"t stop her as they knew their boss would be mad of they actually forced his Consort.
Xing met Maya in a teashop and they talked for a while. Maya could see Xing was sad and she asked her about it. Xing who believed that no third person should be allowed in between a married couple gently steered the topic elsewhere. Maya who was smart could guess her intentions and didn"t force her to speak more.
As they were chatting Xing could feel a bit relaxed and her mood became a bit better. She knew having friends is actually good for this reason. Just carelessly chatting with them could lift one"s spirit.
" Do you know where the Water Empress is kept?", Maya asked and Xing shook her head in the negative.
"That"s odd! My husband told me that only you know where she is. Didn"t you receive her letter?", Maya asked as she wiped her mouth.
"No", Xing played with her chopsticks. She knew the letter might have reached her Manor but not her hands.