"If Your Grace would rather ride and battle in a storm, that can probably be arranged,"
Cullen muttered.
Cinhil opened his mouth to speak, a shocked expression on his face, but Cullen held up a gauntleted hand and shook his head.
"Nay, do not answer to that, Sure. It was not worthy. I spoke in frustration and fatigue.
But Your Grace must surely know me by now to be a prudent man in these matters. I would not condone wanton magic, no matter what the cause. Yet even I must realize the necessity of what is being done. We dare not quibble over methods when it is survival we fight for."
Cinhil lowered his eyes and set bread and cheese atop his cup, put all on the ground beside him, no longer hungry.
"Still, I like it not," he murmured low. "In truth, I have great reservations about all your abilities. G.o.d does not grant such powers to ordinary mortals."
"Are you not mortal, Sire?" Cullen said.
"Aye, and I like not my powers, either."
Silence surrounded them all, an ominous, palpable thing, until Joram cleared his throat with a nervous cough.
"Sire, this is neither the time nor the place to discuss such matters. We are all tired, and what seems frightening now, in the face of impending battle, may seem far less threatening in the safety of Valoret once more. For now, I would ask that you consider only a single gift sometimes granted to our people."
Laying a hand on Rhys"s shoulder as though in benediction, the priest gazed across at Cinhil, the gray eyes direct, unwavering, slightly defiant.
Cinhil felt his throat constrict, and suddenly he could no longer look at them. Even he could not deny the benign nature of the Healers" gifts-especially now, in the face of combat. Without the Healers, and there were others besides Rhys in their company today, tomorrow"s battle would cost even more in blood and pain and lives than war"s usual wont.
He put his gloved fingertips together across his knees, and the scarlet leather was like blood on his hands. He closed his eyes, unwilling to look at them.
"You strike me where you know me to be vulnerable," he whispered. "You know that there is no argument I can make where the lives of the men are concerned. You have made me responsible for them. I cannot deny that responsibility."
"In truth, the magic which so worries you will be little used, once the fighting begins,"
Camber said. "In battle, there are far too many variables, all changing far too rapidly. The most potent spell can be of little use if the wielder of the spell has his head lopped off before he can craft his magic."
"Then there will be no magic used in the battle?"
"I did not say that," Camber replied. "Should any of us come to face Ariella in single combat, we will undoubtedly be forced to draw upon any and all of our various talents. In the greater battle structure, however, the menace of grand magic will certainly decrease.
We"re in a fairly strong tactical position, despite our lesser numbers, since we know Ariella"s strength, while she can only guess at ours. Victory does not always go to the side with the larger army."
Cinhil pondered that for a moment, head bowed thoughtfully in his hands, then looked up at the sound of horses being led toward him. Guaire had retired Cinhil"s previous mount to the baggage train, where the extra horses traveled, and had brought up Cinhil"s spare, a smaller dapple-gray with a smoother gait than the albino he had been riding. The gray nickered as he spotted Cinhil, and almost brought a grin to Cinhil"s face.
"Ah, Moonwind," Cinhil murmured, almost to himself. He stood, slightly bowlegged, and eased a gauntleted hand against the small of his back. Every abused muscle protested as he approached the animal and held out his other hand to the soft muzzle.
"Thank you, Guaire. I suppose this means we must be off again?"
Guaire chuckled as he gentled the horse, turning its near side toward Cinhil so he could mount. The stallion was restless, and Guaire had his hands full keeping him still.
"I"m afraid it does, Sire. Lord Jebediah is most eager to reach our campsite before dark.
At least Moonwind will carry you more gently, these last few hours, once he"s run a little.
We suspected that Your Grace would be saddle-weary by now. That"s why we had you start out on Frostling."
Around them, the others" horses were being led up by grooms and squires, n.o.ble riders swinging into well-worn saddles with easy familiarity. As Cinhil gathered up Moonwind"s red leather reins, not yet having summoned the strength or courage to resume his place of torture in the saddle, he watched Camber and Rhys and Joram mount. A Michaeline serving brother brought Cullen"s chestnut around, but the vicar general, instead of mounting, came over to Cinhil and gave a slight bow, offering his laced hands to give Cinhil a leg up.
Cinhil accepted readily, grateful for the a.s.sistance, but even with Cullen"s help, it was all he could do to haul himself back into the saddle. As he settled, searching in vain for a comfortable position, Moonwind danced and fidgeted between his thighs. Every step sent new torment lancing through his body.
There was no time to feel sorry for himself, however. As Cullen mounted up beside him, Jebediah fell into place on the other side, signaling for immediate departure. They set a much faster pace for the first little while, and surprisingly, the rolling canter helped. By the time they had been riding for perhaps a quarter-hour, Cinhil seemed to reach a plateau of pain, beyond which he could feel nothing else.
After that, his legs settled down to a dull fatigue, and Moonwind was much more willing to go easily, and he could think about other things.
He was frankly curious about what Camber and the others had said of magic-though he would never have admitted that to them. He wondered about what Camber had said of "people working through the night," wondered whether those who worked thus were with them, or safely in the keep at Valoret, or even ensconced elsewhere, in a place of which he did not know.
He scanned the men around him as they pa.s.sed, sending out tentative probes of questioning; but the humans would not have been capable of what Camber described, and the Deryni were all tightly shielded, each man wound up in his own thoughts and preparations for what lay ahead. He could have forced their attention-but he did not want that-G.o.d knew, he did not want that! He was afraid to let himself become more involved, afraid that he might unleash something within himself that he could not control. No, better to keep dormant the magic he had been granted, unless there was no other way.
The sun came out in full splendor by late afternoon, the last rain clouds melting away with the sinking sun. Either Camber"s Deryni cohorts had succeeded, or else Ariella had given up on that particular hara.s.sment. Whichever, Cinhil was grateful.
He had ridden alone with his thoughts for some time. Camber and the others had left him with a royal escort, perhaps an hour earlier, to ride to the head of the van and confer with the advance scouts. But as the huge column slowed and he detected signs of deployment for camp, he saw Cullen riding leisurely back along the line toward him.
Cullen nodded as he fell in beside Cinhil once again, the sea-pale eyes respectful and without guile. The sun cast long, sharp shadows on the hoof-churned ground ahead of them as they rode.
"We"ll be camping at the base of yonder ridge, Sire. Your commanders are riding to the top to survey the lay of the land beyond. Will you join us?"
With his crop, he gestured toward a small knot of riders detaching themselves from the main van, the banners of Culdi and the Michaelines prominent among them, as well as the Gwynedd banner designated for Jebediah"s personal use as commander in chief. Cinhil sighed and gestured for his own royal standard-bearer to follow as he swung out of line and followed Cullen toward the hill.
They cantered easily in silence, the men saluting as they pa.s.sed, until they reached the crest of the ridge, where the others waited. Cinhil acknowledged their gestures of respect and eased his gray between Jebediah and Camber.
Jebediah shaded his eyes against the sun as he turned to glance at the king.
"We"ve met them, as we hoped, Sire. All appears to be exactly as we were told. Look over there, against the far ridge-do you see the movement?"
Cinhil narrowed his eyes and tried to focus in, standing a little in the stirrups.
"What am I looking for?"
"The glint of sun on steel, mainly. We suspect they"re preparing to make camp there, at the base of the ridge. I don"t know whether they"ve seen us yet."
Cinhil let himself settle back into the saddle, not taking his eyes from the moving specks of the enemy, now that he had found them. Suddenly, he wanted it over, one way or the other. He dreaded the night, with its waiting and sleeplessness and growing terror of the dawn. Even if he died, better than this uncertainty.
"Could we attack now, and take them by surprise?" he heard himself saying.
He could sense their exchanged glances, and immediately regretted the short shrift he had given his military studies, resolved to remedy that deficiency in the future. What had made him ask such a foolish question?
"The distance is deceiving, Sire," Jebediah said, almost without a pause. "It"s half an hour"s ride across the plain-more, with our horses not rested. It would be nearly dark by the time we even engaged-no time to be fighting a battle such as this."
With a sigh, Cinhil nodded and glanced down at his hands, crimson gauntlets on the red leather reins. Reaching back in memory, he called forth words they had taught him, willing his panic to cease, his pulse to slow, his features to relax. When he looked up, he appeared to be in control, completely at ease. He knew the facade was deceiving none of them, but somehow the illusion helped.
"You"re right, of course, Jebediah. Do whatever you think best. Do we camp here, then, and trust that she will not move in the darkness?"
"We camp, but we do not trust," Jebediah said, with grim-lipped determination. "We will set sentries on the perimeters, and keep scouting parties out all night, and be ready to move at dawn. We will also set protective wards about the camp, unless you raise strenuous objections. I want the men to have a good night"s sleep, with nothing from outside to mar their dreams."
Cinhil gulped. "She could enter men"s sleep?"
"She might disquiet it. I prefer not to take chances. Every man must be in his best fighting condition, come the dawn."
With a curt nod to hide his resurging fear, Cinhil backed Moonwind out of the line and wheeled to go back down the slope. He did not want to think about what Jebediah had just said-and the silence of the others only confirmed that the Deryni commander was right in his estimation of their danger. As he rode, he scanned the sea of milling men making camp below, searching for the familiarity of his own household and servants. He saw Sorle and Father Alfred supervising the setup of his pavilion near a small stand of trees, and headed toward them gratefully.
Little eased his apprehension, however. Though Cinhil talked with Father Alfred for nearly an hour, as the shadows grew and camp was made around them, the young priest was able to offer little in the way of comfort. At length, when it was obvious even to Cinhil that such conversation was not the answer, he thanked the man and dismissed him, heading slowly toward the now-ready pavilion.
Nodding miserably to the guards, boots squishing in the damp earth, which was fast turning to mud beneath the feet of so many men and animals, he came at last to the entrance. Sorle was waiting to take his helmet, and drew aside the flap as his master approached.
"You have guests, Sire," he murmured.
By the glow of rushlights already burning in shielded holders, Cinhil could see Joram and Cullen crouching beside a small brazier set in the center of the tent. Helmets and gauntlets lay on the heavy carpet beside them, and mail coifs had been pushed back from heads of gold and grizzled gray. Other than that, both men were still fully armed, well-used mail gleaming in the rushlight at throat and sleeve, broadswords buckled over blue Michaeline surcoats.
They rose respectfully as Cinhil entered, Cullen still warming his hands over the brazier.
Joram nodded and moved a camp chair closer to the brazier for the king.
"The campsite is nearly secured, Sire," Joram said. "After some discussion, it"s been decided to set watch-wards rather than protective ones. Watch-wards require a far lower level of magic to maintain, and aren"t even activated unless something tries to pa.s.s. They"ll put fewer restrictions on our own men moving within the camp. Most won"t even know they"ve been set."
Cinhil eased down on the chair and unbuckled his sword belt, letting the weapon slide to the carpet beside him. Fatigue washed over him like a physical thing as he let his shoulders relax, almost dulling his realization of what Joram had just said.
"Is that intended as a sop to my scruples about your magic?" he asked, in a tone which did not expect answer. He stripped off his gauntlets and slapped them halfheartedly against his knee, wincing at the pressure against abused muscles. He heard Cullen sigh.
"Cinhil, I know how you feel about it, but I thought you understood why it was necessary.
It would be useful if we can all wake up rested and sane in the morning. I cannot guarantee that, unless we can ensure that there will be no arcane meddling while we sleep. The watch-wards will provide that insurance."
Cinhil looked up, biting off a tart retort.
"My understanding and my approval do not necessarily coincide, Father Cullen. I comprehend the reasons for your actions, but do not ask me to sanction them."
"But you"ll not forbid them?" Joram asked.
"No, I"ll not forbid them. That"s what you would have me say, isn"t it? I have no more wish than the next man to die before my time. However, I prefer to know nothing else of your methods."
"Very well, Sire. I"ll complete the arrangements and not trouble you again."
With a curt bow, Joram gathered his belongings and left. Cullen stood silently for a moment, while Cinhil stared at the carpet, before gesturing toward a campstool.
"May I join you for a few minutes?"
"If it pleases you."
"Hardly a cordial invitation, but under the circ.u.mstances I"m grateful even for that."
He hooked the stool closer with a booted toe and straddled it, settling onto its seat with a soft clash of well-oiled mail. Cinhil watched him with a mixture of curiosity and annoyance, wondering what further the Michaeline thought he could say to him, but Cullen only gazed back at him expectantly.
Irritated, Cinhil pushed back his own coif, ruffling silver-winged hair with a hand which trembled with fatigue. In exasperation, he lowered his head into both hands, mailed elbows resting gingerly on aching thighs.
"Well, Father, what is it? I"m exhausted and angry and, quite frankly, frightened. I haven"t the patience to argue with you, or to indulge in an evening of soul-searching or mind-stretching."
Cullen shifted position, to the jingle of mail against leather. "Nor have I, the night before battle. We all need our rest. But I sense that something is disturbing you-something more than your annoyance that Deryni powers must be used or your fear that we may all die tomorrow. I saw you talking with Father Alfred. I also saw that you seemed to derive little comfort from his counsel. I thought an older man might be better able to ease your heart.
We are almost of an age, you know."
Cinhil closed his eyes, not certain he wanted to go in the direction Cullen was leading.
"I am quite satisfied with Father Alfred as my confessor."
"I"m sure you are. He"s a fine, capable young priest. Were he not already in your service, I would be greatly tempted to lure him away from you for my staff, when I become a bishop.
"But he is also young enough, almost, to be your son, Cinhil; and he has little experience dealing with the forces which you and I, for different reasons, must learn to cope with. I offer myself not as a confessor but as a friend. We are alike in many ways. Could not our likenesses help to bridge our differences?"
Cinhil swallowed, not daring to look up. He knew what Cullen was asking. It was a reiteration of the offer he had made a few days earlier, when they had talked about sharing the respective joys and woes of royal and episcopal duties. He wanted it, in many ways; he needed such a friendship. But there was that about Cullen, about all Deryni, which frightened him still-especially tonight, on the eve of battle, when G.o.d knew what powers might be unleashed in his name when the dawning came.
It was the not-knowing that frightened him most- the dreadful suspicion that the Deryni might serve another Master, to the d.a.m.nation of all their souls. Suppose that all he had seen and heard was sham, staged for his benefit, to beguile him into believing their powers were benign? In the monastery he had heard tales of the atrocities committed under the Festils-their blasphemies and abominations, not the least of which was Ariella"s incestuous union with her own brother. And what might he not have heard, sheltered as he had been?
He shuddered a little at that, glancing up quickly to see whether Cullen had noticed, but the vicar general only gazed at him expectantly, ice eyes seemingly lit by sunlight at their depths, in as open and hopeful an expression as Cinhil had ever seen on the weathered face.
Almost, and Cinhil reached out to him. Almost, and he surrendered to the temptation to trust-to open up, to put his faith in another person, to confide his fears and sorrows, all his misgivings about himself and the world which had been thrust upon him.
But the moment quickly pa.s.sed. He could not do it -not now, here, tonight, surrounded by all those other Deryni, by Camber and his allies. He dared not trust Cullen. Not yet.
With a sigh, he shook his head and threw his gauntlets on the floor beside his sword. His eyes, as he looked up at Cullen at last, were red-rimmed and almost teary.
"I thank you, Father Cullen, but it grows late and I ache in every bone. If you will only keep me informed of any change of plans, that will be sufficient for now. I wish to retire early."
"As you wish, Sire."
With downcast eyes, the vicar general picked up helm and gloves and stood, glancing guardedly at the king. He started to speak again, but then he merely bowed and strode out of the tent without a backward glance.
Cinhil sat very still for several minutes after he had gone, wondering.
His discomfiture did not ease, even after supper. Though he cleaned himself, and heard Vespers, and readied himself for bed, sleep would not come. For hours, it seemed, he tossed and fretted on his pallet, dozing fitfully, dreaming horribly when he did. At one point, he even roused himself and lit a rushlight for a time, staring mindlessly into its feeble flame while he tried to school his thoughts to tranquility and his body to rest.
Finally, in the dark of early morning, several hours before he might expect the dawn, he got up and dressed in his riding leathers, omitting mail and other armoring in favor of comfort. Wincing as he pulled boots onto saddle-aching legs, he waved Sorle back to his pallet outside the entryway when the squire came to investigate his movement. He paused to strap a dagger at his waist, for he supposed it was not proper for a king to go totally unarmed within a military camp, then threw the great black cloak around his shoulders and secured it at the throat, drawing the fur-lined hood close to his head. Then he slipped outside the pavilion to prowl the encampment. The soreness in his muscles eased as he got his circulation going.
He was not challenged. Word went before him, from his own pavilion guards, that the king walked the camp, and wished to do so alone and unheralded. But he did not go unnoticed. He could feel the guards" eyes following his progress as he went, knew they must be relaying word of his pa.s.sage to their fellows ahead in some manner unknown to him-though he knew it was not magic, since most of them were human.
When he headed toward the crest of the ridge, to look out at the enemy watch-fires, one of the guards detached himself from his fellows and followed at an un.o.btrusive distance.
Cinhil ignored the man as he slipped into the shadow of a tree trunk and gazed out across the empty plain.
The silence was profound. That was what struck him first. Even the normal night sounds of the countryside seemed muted. Horses whickered and stamped their feet softly in the hollow behind him, and guards" harness clinked nearby as they shifted and paced in the night chill.
Far in the distance he could hear cattle lowing in their pens, and that reminded him that this was part of Gwynedd"s heartland, the real reason for their presence here tonight. The moonlight turned the plain to a sheen of silvery frost, dew on spring wheat and tender gra.s.ses. A shudder went through him as he imagined that plain tomorrow at this time, with the carnage of battle staining its soil. He realized that he had never seen the grim reality of violent death on such a scale.