Don"t try to rush it. You can"t help men much until you know them very well; and when you know them you find how utterly different they are from what you had expected them to be. At least I do. No two men are alike. Each man that you come really to know is utterly different from any man you have ever met or will meet.
_To F. J. C._
Christ"s College, Cambridge: November 5, 1900.
It is good of you to think of me and above all to pray for me. I need your prayers--and most of all when I am run down and unable to pray myself. I can see the mountain top at times: then the mist comes down, and I cannot see the way; I try to keep where I am, though I may not be able to advance; and when the mist clears I go on again. Possibly, sometimes, we may be going forward even in the mist, although we seem to be making no progress, or going backward.
G.o.d judges by a light Which baffles mortal sight.
I often wish I had more physical strength and was able to do what other men can do; but I can"t. And I have no doubt that all is well--that I am made to do one particular piece of work, and that I have strength enough for that--and thank G.o.d for that.
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_To a brother in South Africa._
December 1900.
It is a marvellous thought that G.o.d can reveal Himself to man--even primitive man. In those stories Jehovah is very near to man. He walks in the garden at nightfall. He shuts Noah into the Ark. He comes down to see the city and the tower "which the children of men builded." He talks with Moses face to face as a man speaketh to his friend--and a ladder connects heaven and earth, and the angels, instead of using wings, walk up and down the ladder--and, behold, Jehovah stood above it. At any moment you might meet Jehovah Himself. Three men come to see Abraham--and Jehovah has appeared to him. A man wrestles with Jacob, and he has seen G.o.d face to face. They were right when they thought of G.o.d as very near to man, of man as capable of reflecting G.o.d"s likeness. Ye too shall see heaven opened and the angels of G.o.d ascending and descending upon--the Son of man. It is good for us as children to read these stories to realise that heaven is very near to earth. It is good for us as men to read them again to realise that heaven is even nearer earth than we thought as children. As I said before, how marvellous it is that G.o.d can reveal Himself to man and through man, that He has revealed Himself entirely, "the perfect man,"
as Maurice says, reflecting the perfect G.o.d--G.o.d and man so near one to the other that men can look upon the Son of man and see G.o.d--see Him in His perfection! Our years ought to be bound each to {136} each by natural piety. The child should surely be the father of the man.
With age Thou growest more divine, More glorious than before; I fear Thee with a deeper fear Because--I love Thee more.
I have been reading Moody"s Life. It has much the same effect as Finney"s used to have in days gone by--it creates a longing to work and live for G.o.d, to bring men nearer to Him, to come nearer to Him myself.
Whom have I in heaven but Thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire in comparison of Thee.
What a wonderful thing that we, as a family, are so united--that our Ideal is so much the same--isn"t it?
_To F. S. H._
St. Moritz: January 6, 1901.
I have succeeded in unfreezing my ink, so I can write and--although it is late to do so--wish you a happy new century. It is only once in a lifetime that one can do that sort of thing! I am out here for my health. I wasn"t up to much last term. However, I am as fit as a lord now, and return to Cambridge this week. I have been reading out here two very different kinds of books. One is Wellhausen"s "History of Israel," the other Moody"s Life by his son. Wellhausen"s book gives you in outline the position of modern advanced criticism of the Old Testament. I have never before studied the history from the critical point of view really seriously. The study has proved extraordinarily interesting, and I {137} must say that in the main I agree thoroughly with Wellhausen"s position. You will see it more or less clearly put in that "History of the Hebrew People" in two small volumes by Kent which I recommended to you before. The history of the gradual progress of the divine revelation to the human race is a marvellous study: the way in which that people were educated to become the teachers of the world is utterly different from anything which we should have devised.
I am struck more and more by the marvellous fact that G.o.d can and does reveal Himself--in His essential moral nature--to man; that we are so made that we can apprehend the revelation; nay, that we in turn can in measure reveal Him to men!
Moody"s Life stirs me up to realise more the worth of the individual, the surpa.s.sing value of man"s moral and spiritual nature. I long to help men to see what I see, to love Him whom I love, and the failure of my efforts is largely, I feel, due to defects in myself. Still I do not despair of doing something.
_To his brother Edward in South Africa._
Brislington, Bristol; April 10, 1901.
I was much interested in . . . (your letter) and in seeing a little into your life. There is a strange family reserve among us which I sometimes deplore. Perhaps it must always be so, that we can tell most readily to strangers our deepest thoughts and feelings. Yet I feel that we ought, as far as we can in this short life, to understand one another. We have been led by different paths to understand different aspects {138} of Truth. Yet, when we have climbed to the top of the hill, I dare say we shall find that our paths were nearer to one another than we ever realised. At any rate, we shall meet on the top.
I often think that your whole method of gaining truth must be unlike mine. I use my reason, but I am more than half affection, and it is that which helps me most. My strange love for some men makes me seek to live their lives, to see the world as they see it; above all, it forces me to pray. Prayer never seems to me irrational; yet I do not pray so much because my reason bids me as because my affection forces me. I sometimes feel that I should go mad if I didn"t or couldn"t.
And then, again, I am incapable of telling them all I feel, and I have to find some one to tell it to, and I feel forced back on One who knows me through and through, and I find comfort in pouring out my soul to Him--in telling Him all, much that I dare say to no one else--in letting Him sift the good and evil--in asking Him to develop and satisfy the good, and to exterminate the evil. I cannot help trusting Him.
I know not where His islands lift Their fronded palms in air; I only know I cannot drift Beyond His love and care.
You will tell me perhaps that I am too much like a woman in matters of faith. Yet so I am made. I must follow the lead of my whole being--not of my mind alone. I often wonder how it is that I love with such a strange, pa.s.sionate, unutterable affection, and whether many men are like me. {139} I am most pleased to hear of your doings, especially of your whist parties.
_To F. S. H., chaplain on board H.M.S. Canopus._
Brislington; April 10, 1901.
I am glad that you like your "parish." I feel more and more that I should prefer being among sailors to being among soldiers. I am afraid that I should do little good among either. Still I like, or think that I should like, naval officers even more than army officers. If they do talk a great deal of "shop," that is a healthy sign. I only wish our officers in the army were--I will not say more proud of their profession (for they have, I dare say, sufficient pride)--but more anxious to learn and to think out matters connected with it. I dare say the naval officer is obliged to act more independently and to think for himself in an emergency; for the army discipline is carried to such an extreme that the man for some years has seldom any occasion to act on his own initiative--to rise to an occasion. He simply has to ask a superior what to do next. He tends to resemble the Hindu station-master who telegraphed "Tiger on platform; please wire instructions." If their talking shop is worrying occasionally, yet be of good comfort, it is on the whole a good sign. It is better than talking golf or polo all day, and better far than loose and unmanly conversation. The more you are interested in the matters yourself, not simply because you want to be all things to all men, if by any means you may gain one or two, but because you are a man {140} and a Christian, and therefore all things human have an interest to you, the more you will enjoy such "shop." We want not only to affect an interest in what is of vital concern to our neighbours, but to feel it.
I begin to realise more now than I used to that I must not simply watch football matches, or run with the boats, because I want to show interest, but because I am learning--however late in the day and however imperfectly--to feel a real concern for such matters. And, strange to say, I am more interested in them than I used to be. Since the Lord took human flesh and interested Himself in all human life, He has left us an example that we may follow in His steps. We must call nothing, and no man, common or unclean. My own life and my own interests are terribly contracted. Sometimes I have been foolish enough to glory in the fact, and to think that I honour G.o.d in caring only for my brother"s soul and not for his whole life. But love has taught me that this is a low and incomplete view. G.o.d numbers the very hairs of our head, and he who loves and tries to help another must enter into his life and care for all that he cares for. I hope that G.o.d will spare me a little longer to work in College, and to learn to become one with others--to see life with their eyes, to let them teach me--that so, if it please Him, I may gain some of them for His service.
The disciple cannot expect to be above the Master. The Master was not popular. He explained His deepest teaching to a few--a very few. If you have one or two to whom you can explain part of your being, thank G.o.d. You will find that {141} one man understands one side, another appreciates another side. It is a comfort that there is One who knows us through and through. What a terrible blank life would be if we had no G.o.d to whom to pour out our whole soul! There are sides of our being which no one but G.o.d seems to be able to apprehend. I am feeling now comfort at nights in simply telling Him all--feelings which I cannot explain to any one else, asking Him to interpret, to sift, to allow the better to live, to annihilate the untrue. I do not cease to expect great things from Him, to expect that He will do for my "parish"
as a whole more than I have dreamed of or wished for. But then I am content if He works slowly, and does what I did not wish or expect to happen. He works slowly in nature, and I am not surprised if human nature is still more stubborn material for Him to work upon. But what a joy it is when one character in which we are interested, for which we have prayed and wrestled in prayer, shows slight but sure signs of healthy development! I feel inclined to shout for joy at the miracle--for it is a miracle--and I thank G.o.d and take courage. He does not let us see many results, but He lets us see just enough to help us to go forward. It is a help when what is clear and true to us begins to dawn upon another. "My belief gains infinitely," says Novalis, "when it is shared by any human soul."
Let your "parish" clearly see that "it is one thing to be tempted, another thing to fall." Vile, foul thoughts which come to us are not in themselves a sign that we are falling. They are first of all from {142} outside, and are suggestions entirely alien in origin from ourselves; they are from the devil. They only become wrong when entertained, when welcomed in the least degree as guests and allowed to stay. Our aim is to bring every thought at once into captivity.
I have just come back from the seaside, and as I looked at the sea I thought more than once of "the ocean of Thy love." The waves of the sea beat against a stubborn rock and seem to make no impression. But in a few years" time the rock begins to yield. The constant wash of the waves wears it away. So with our hard, stubborn wills. The ocean of His love will reduce them slowly but surely, and likewise the stubborn wills of men around us, thank G.o.d! When you are tired and human strength gives way, remember "the best of all is--G.o.d is with us." I often feel worn out, and then I love, as it were, to lean back upon Him--without speaking--as a child on its mother"s arms.
I know not where His islands lift Their fronded palms in air; I only know I cannot drift Beyond His love and care.
O brother! if my faith is vain, If hopes like these betray, Pray for me that I too may gain The sure and safer way.
And Thou, O G.o.d, by whom are seen Thy creatures as they be, Forgive me if too close I lean My human heart on Thee.[1]
{143}
I am, I fear, but a poor friend. I wish you had some one who loved you as well as I did, and who was less weak and selfish. You must not give me up in spite of my defects. I love you and am proud of you--proud to think that you are doing work among men whom I should be powerless to influence. Easter once more brings new life and hope. May the G.o.d of all life, of all peace, of all hope, be with you and all your flock!
May He guide pastor and sheep! Don"t despair; go on manfully; you are doing greater work than you know, and if your eyes were open that you could see, you would find that the host that was with you was more than all that were against you. Into His keeping I commit you. Good-bye.
Your friend
FORBES.
[1] Whittier.
_To W. O._
Brislington: April 1901.
I am glad that the lot has fallen to you in fair places. "It has been said with true wisdom that G.o.d means man not only to work but to be happy in his work. . . . Without some sunshine we can never ripen into what we are meant to be." So writes Dr. Hort. I am reading his Life with great joy. He drank deep of life, and I want to do so also. I want to live in the present--in the sunshine of eternity. I feel more and more inclined to thank G.o.d for life and all the good things it brings, and for the friends He has given me, and the measure of strength and health to use in the service of man.
I had no idea where that Essay had gone. I {144} suppose it is most immature and unsatisfactory; yet the central idea, however imperfectly expressed, must surely be true. He took Manhood--in its weakness and strength--up into G.o.d. He was tempted. That thought helps me immensely. "It is one thing to be tempted, another thing to fall." We often accuse ourselves wrongly when foul thoughts spring up within us.
They are temptations from without--from the devil. They only become sins when entertained as welcome guests. I have lately thought that Christ"s life, like ours, was a life of faith, that it needed a real and constant effort of faith for Him to realise His relationship with the unseen Father. Here and hereafter human life is based on faith.
If we get this idea into our minds, Christ"s temptations become more real. They are temptations to faithlessness. I like your idea that Christ has entered into our manhood, into the phases (if there be such) "of the life to come."