Level Up! Ultimate NPC-san!

As you can see, I"m floating in the stream of my own consciousness, marveling at my own amazing [Status Page]. Look at it! I"ve got the strongest skill-set that any MC could have:

Blessed by G.o.ddess - because my life has been so pitiful that a G.o.ddess feels the need to watch over me.

Item Box - because I"m obviously too lazy to strap a physical bag on my back.

Smithing, Woodwork, Cooking, and Cleaning - all of which my pale and lanky body is just perfect for.

NO! What the h.e.l.l are these skills?! Game devs? I think there"s something wrong with your game! These skills weren"t even available in the original Veronicle JRPG, for G.o.ddess" sake!

Isn"t it more normal for the MC of those transmigration novels to be summoned into a safe and secure room, preferably inside of a well fortified castle, and given powers beyond imagination to fend off the demon horde? Why is it that my transmigration sent me out into an open field, with gra.s.s tall enough to tickle my a.s.s, only to be chased by an ugly, hairy pig to the point of fainting?!

Ironic, though. It wouldn"t be Veronicle if the player didn"t suffer as much.

⌈ REGISTERING VILLAGER THEODORE YOUNG... ⏌

⌈ SYSTEM CHECKING... ⏌

⌈ SYSTEM CHECKING COMPLETE ⏌

⌈ SYSTEM RECONFIGURATION IN PROGRESS... ⏌

⌈ SYSTEM RECONFIGURATION COMPLETE ⏌

⌈ SYSTEM REBOOT INITIATED ⏌

Wait a second! Don"t just go pinging multiple lines of messages into my head without my consent! This is s.e.xual hara.s.sment! I"ll press charges!

⌈ ACCESS DENIED ⏌

It seems I"ve woken up.

How can I tell? I can feel my body aching from the over-use of my muscles, and there"s this pokey-itch all over my back, like I"m laying on a million porcupines. It wouldn"t be so bad if it weren"t for the fact that my body keeps bouncing up and down. It"s kind of like when my parents used to take me up and down the country, back when they still thought I would grow up to be a lawyer or doctor. How nostalgic.

"You"re awake, boy."

"AHHH!!"

My heart skipped ten beats, just now!

Just as I was starting to relax, despite being constantly dug into from behind by some kind of pointy thing, an ugly dog-faced man popped his head into my vision.

s.h.i.t, that was scary.

"See, Aaron," a voice from my other side said. "I knew your ugly face would scare the lad."

"You shut your face, Randal," the dog-face retorted. "I get twice as much tail as you do, any day of the week."

"Hah! Twice of none is still none, you dog-faced mutt!"

"Why you!"

Okay. I know what you"re thinking. So this isn"t quite what a transmigration"s supposed to be like, but at least it seems that these two not-so-mature uncles don"t mean me any harm. Who am I, someone who was chased down by a wild animal within the first few minutes of coming to this world, to complain?

"Um..." I tried to interject. "Could someone tell me what"s going on?"

"Oh," the dog-faced uncle called Aaron looked back to me. "We picked you up off of the King"s road."

"Lad," the other man, whose name seemed to be Randal chimed in. "You were sweating buckets, when we found you flat on the bricks. Was you out for some morning exercise or something?"

"Oh, I..."

""Exercise", Randal?" Aaron mocked, crossing his arms as he sneered. "You think a boy his age would have any spare time to do such a thing? He was probably out doing ch.o.r.es for his dear mam, right?"

"Uh, I..."

""Ch.o.r.es", you say?" Randal interrupted, lifting my arm for Aaron to see. "The lad"s got no muscle to speak of! What kind of "ch.o.r.es" do you suppose he"d be able to do?"

"Well, I..."

"Just because he ain"t look like you, don"t mean he ain"t got no meat on him, you muscle-headed freak!"

"At least I"m not some dog-face, haha!"

"Why you!"

"h.e.l.lO?! Can anyone tell me what"s going on?"

As the two uncles crossed their arms at each other, turning their heads to face different directions, I push myself up to take in my surroundings. It looks like I"m on a cart carrying a ma.s.sive bundle of straw. That explains what was poking at my back. Who the heck lays a man down on straw, these days? Oh, right. This is Veronicle...

It seems that the cart is being pulled along by a lone bull. The colour of its fur is a bit off, compared to the ones I know of from Earth. I suppose this is just the norm for those living in the world of Veronicle?

I look further into the distance, and I see that we"re coming to a mountain pa.s.s. On the one side, where I could spot a few wild goats, I could see gra.s.sy patches. The other side, as if to contrast its brother, only had dry dirt and rock.

"Uncles," I said, looking at the two of them in turn. "I"m not from these parts, and I think it"d be good if one of you told me where you"re taking me."

"Golem Town, lad," Randal said, after a moment of silence. "We"re headed to Golem Town to sell off this here straw."

"We picked you up thinking it"d be best to bring you into town," Aaron added, his dog-face still turned away.

"You don"t look strong enough to be one of them "adventurers"," Randal continued. "But you sure do have some strange-looking clothes on you."

"Well, I..." I mumbled, before speaking up. "Thank you, uncles. I was actually running away from this huge, hairy boar. I don"t know how long I was running for, but I really thought I was a goner."

"Hah! You have some luck, boy," Aaron chuckled. "That there boar must"ve been ol" Betty. She"s an infamous mama boar that people from these parts avoid at all costs."

"To think that you"d have a run in with ol" Betty, lad. You have some terrible luck."

"Yeah," I said shyly, scratching at the back of my head. "I"m just glad I didn"t become pig food."

"That"s the spirit, boy!" Aaron roared, as he smacked me on the shoulder blade. I grimaced from the pain.

The gentle breeze carried the scent of pine, as it blew through the mountain pa.s.s, and swept over the back of my head. It"s warm.

After some time chatting with each other about my encounter with the wild boar twice my size, we finally make our way out of the mountain pa.s.s. We"ve stopped for a brief moment - we all needed to relieve ourselves - and looked over the mountain side at the view below.

It"s like something out of the popular smartphone app "Instaounce". Hash-tag no filter. The beauty of what I"m looking at could bring tears to my eyes - if I were someone a little more emotional.

"See that, lad," Randal pointed towards my right, the rope around his pants still untied. "Over there, where all them buildings are, is Golem Town."

"I see," I replied politely, my eyes watching his hands. Don"t you dare touch me with that, old man...

"We"ll get there before the sun starts to set, and we"ll drop you off at the inn."

"Mm. Thank you, uncle."

"No need, lad. Come. Let"s be off."

Not too long after we set off down toward the town, I could hear a clanging sound. As the cart rolled along the King"s road, and my a.s.s started losing feeling from all the bouncing up and down, a small group of people in different types of clothing and armour approached us.

Yo... What the heck? Aren"t these people adventurers?

There"s a strong male leader, walking at the head of the group, fully equipped with traditional JRPG-esque heavy armour! He"s even got an intimidating stare, and his Super Ultimate Dragon Slayer of Doom-looking giant sword rested on his shoulder, making him look all the more imposing. Behind him, dressed in shimmering cloth, was the typical heroine magician, the stoic bow-wielding ranger, and a shy-looking priestess holding her staff as if it were the cutest thing in the world

OMG! What the h.e.l.l?! Isn"t this the typical adventuring party in Veronicle? Isn"t this the kind of party that any typical transmigrator - like me - should be leading to fight off the Demon King and his horde of demonic monsters?!

Why is it that I"m nowhere to be seen in this cliché adventurer party? Why is it that I"m the one who"s sitting atop a cart carrying straw as if I"m just some NPC that the MC would pa.s.s by on their way to their next stage?

I"m done. I give up!

⌈ ACCESS DENIED ⏌

FUUUUUUUUU!!!