Erin rushed back to her room. Her breath was ragged and her cheeks rosy. She wasn"t sure why she panicked like that."Huu, Haa, Huu, Haa"
Taking a few deep breaths, she tried to calm down. Her emotions were even more unstable. After a few minutes, Erin finally composed herself. She walked to the bed and sat on it, thinking of the conversation just now.
"For a month, I"ve been asleep. And all that time, Richard has been carrying me?" For a second, her mind fleeted. The scent of Richard, his warm chest and firm arms. Her body jolted, she could imagine the scene so vividly she could not differentiate it from reality.
"Wait, wait, wait!" She shouted out loud. "What am I even thinking? Why is Richard in my mind all the time?" She was confused. Even as she tried not thinking about him, his ever-smiling face wouldn"t leave her mind.
"It can"t be, did I…" She stopped herself from finishing the sentence. The room fell silent and she could hear only the sound of her breathing. Her heartbeat accelerated.
"I see. So I really..." She felt a bit complicated. "When did it start? When did I start to think about him?" She tried to remember. Her memories moved back to the first day they met, and from there, she started thinking about every interaction they had. But she just couldn"t remember when her feelings changed.
"Was it at the inn? When did I tell him to wait? No, it wasn"t then." She shook her head, denying it. But somehow, she had the feeling that it was even before that.
"No, no, that"s not possible." It shouldn"t be earlier. She tried to think about what had happened afterward. "Was it when I couldn"t feel his presence? When those humans attacked us?" At that time, Erin felt like something was missing, and when she finally realized that she couldn"t find Richard"s presence, Erin panicked.
"Maybe it was then? No, in the first place if I panicked back then, that means my feelings changed even before that …" Her shoulders dropped. There was no point in finding out when her feelings had changed. The fact was that she had already….
"No, no, no, let"s stop thinking about that... I should concentrate on important things, like our conversation, what was our conversation?" Erin was so lost in her fantasies and memories that she forgot what they were talking about before that.
She t.i.tled her head and started thinking.
"Yes, the sacrifice... If I want to save Lyse, I need to sacrifice other people."
Her mood became worse. Only thinking about it gave her a headache. But Erin had to take a decision. Her brows furrowed. "Can I do it?" She thought to herself. Only imagining it made her shiver. She couldn"t do it, it wasn"t possible for her. But if she didn"t do it, wasn"t Lyse going to die?
"Isn"t there any other way?"
Erin shook her head. If there was another way, Richard would have told her. That should be the only way. In the end, she had to choose between Lyse and the sacrifice.
"I-" Erin hesitated. Only thinking about the lives that would be lost made her helpless. She wanted Lyse to recover, but not to sacrifice so many people for it.
"Why...Why is all this happening to me." Her tears started to fall once again. There was no solution she could think of. There were only two choices. She had to choose, but she was too scared to do it.
*knock knock knock*
Someone knocked at the door. Erin was startled from that and stood up. She used her sleeves to wipe out her tears.
"Come in."
Anna pushed the door open. There was a tray in her hand loaded with food. She smiled at Erin.
"Master, you need to eat something. You were asleep for a long time. You should replenish your energy." With that said, Anna carried the tray inside.
Erin watched her with a blank expression. It was true that she was hungry, but she didn"t realize that with all the emotions she experienced after waking up. She cleared her mind and stood up from the bed.
"Alright." It was better to eat something and distract herself a bit. That way she could recollect her thoughts.
Anna served the food on the table and prepared to leave.
"Wait." Erin stopped her, extending her hand to catch her sleeve. "Can you stay in the room for a while?" She asked.
Anna looked at her. She hesitated for a moment, but at the end nodded. Erin smiled at that. She sat down at the table and started eating the food, but her mind became preoccupied with Lyse once again. She absentmindedly brought food to her mouth and started chewing on it. After gulping it down, her movements stopped. She looked forward with a dull look.
"Master?" Anna got worried about that. She waved her hand in front of her.
Erin"s eyes focused for a moment on Anna. Her eyes still dull, still lightless. "Hey, Anna."
"Yes, Master?" Anna t.i.tled her head, waiting for her next words.
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"Can I be greedy for just once?" The words that left Erin"s mouth were dry, emotionless. Her eyes tilted down, breaking contact with Anna"s.
"Greedy?" Anna tried to comprehend the meaning behind those words, but she couldn"t think of anything.
"You know, I never asked about anything since the first day I came here. I even followed Richard"s decisions most of the time..." She stopped here. It became hard for her to talk, but she gulped and continued. "I just want to save Lyse. She had been suffering her whole life, and now she is on the verge of death. And for what?! Because of those humans! I just can"t accept it! I don"t want to lose her! But, but... I just can"t bring myself to sacrifice so many people." Erin"s voice echoed in the room. Her eyes became misty and she was barely able to repress her sobs.
"What should I do? What? I don"t know, I just don"t know, tell me, what should I do?" Erin couldn"t bear it anymore. She burrowed her head in Anna"s chest and started crying.
Anna"s whole body stiffened. She wasn"t expecting anything like that. Those thoughts of Erin made her sad. It was true, her master never asked for anything. And now her only wish...
"Haa"
She sighed and hugged Erin. She would let her cry for now. At least, after that, her master might feel better, once she cried enough.
The sobs continued for half an hour, and finally, Erin fell asleep in Anna"s embrace. Anna took her up and moved towards the bed, where she put her down. She turned around to leave.
"Don"t go"
Only for her sleeves to be caught from behind and Erin"s murmuring! She t.i.tled her head in the direction of the bed, but her master was still asleep. It seemed like it was an unconscious reaction.
"Well, it can"t be helped." Anna murmured under her breath and lied down next to Erin. She extended her hands and hugged her. Looking at her master"s face, Anna just couldn"t help but feel pain in her heart. It seemed like it was too much for Erin.