Chapter 807. Sequence 7
-I was really surprised because you weren’t there at the hospital, you know?
“Sorry, mom. I had something urgent I had to do, so I left for a bit.”
-A bit is for a whole night?
“You know that your daughter’s capable, right?”
-It’s because I know that that I’m just giving you a call. Other moms would have nagged you about it for a whole day.
“Right. That’s why I like my mom.”
-How do you feel?
“Better than ever.”
-Have you eaten breakfast?
“Yes. I had a great one. How about you?”
-Just a sandwich.
“Is that enough?”
-It wasn’t, so I’m about to eat more. I’m going to go see you tomorrow, are you free?
“I have a shoot tomorrow. I’m okay if it’s the day after that.”
-I have a field study on that day, so I can’t make it.
“A famous writer needs to go do field studies?”
-I can’t exactly write about the world while sitting down, can I? How about the weekend? Let’s go on a date. It’s been such a long time since we went to the market.
Just as Gaeul was about to say okay, she grabbed her phone with her other hand and apologized.
“I have an appointment.”
-I wonder who the house girl got an appointment with. Is it Seol? Or Chaerim?
“Well, I wonder who.”
-If it’s a man, then introduce him to me. I want to have a look at his face too.
“I will, but you’ll probably be startled if you see him, you know?”
-Unless it’s Won Bin or Go Soo, I won’t be surprised.
“Your standards are way too high, mom.”
-If you know that, then bring home a splendid husband material. I’m hanging up then. The food is here.
“Enjoy your meal.”
Gaeul hung up and took out the side dish containers in the shopping bag. She felt rea.s.sured after seeing her refrigerator being filled with dishes. She felt like she would be able to recall this morning whenever she took a little bit out to eat. The cozy scenery, the sound of the bubbling pot, the faint smell of mint from the duvet – the string of thoughts dragged out and reached last night. She shook her head. The heat and the moans were still vivid. As her cheeks became flushed, the corners of her lips raised. Just as she was about to close the door, she took out a blue container before doing so.
She sat on the sofa and opened the container. She put a piece of sweetened almond in her mouth and chewed on it. A crunchy sound tickled her ears. From how he was good at making basic side dishes, perhaps she should make him a full-time housewife if they lived together. When she heard from other people how ‘men who can cook well’ looked s.e.xy, she couldn’t understand them, but when she looked at his back in the morning, she subconsciously nodded. The back figure of a man holding a ladle was indeed s.e.xy.
She giggled and nibbled on the almonds. Just then, she saw a white rabbit sitting on the empty sofa. She gave the rabbit a glance before focusing on the TV.
“So, you went there in the end.”
“I shouldn’t have?”
“I’ve been telling you since last night that you shouldn’t go. That you can’t go.”
“I didn’t hear you though.”
“That’s because you didn’t want to listen to me.”
She put down the container and looked straight at the rabbit. The rabbit she always had to close her eyes to see started popping up in reality every now and then. The citizen of the delusional world had a dissatisfactory expression on her face. Her whiskers were twitching, and her ears were raised up as though she was angry.
“Can’t you just congratulate me? I finally got to meet him.”
“I told you several times that it’s not the right time yet.”
“You said that five years ago; that I should go find him once I’m proud of myself.”
“You held back well until now.”
“That’s why I’m going to stop holding back.”
“You finally found a spot for yourself. You’re a rising star. You should know how dangerous your position is, don’t you? It only takes a moment for an actress to fall into the abyss because of a wrong image. Top-tier actresses, maybe they can endure it somewhat. They have fans as well as staff who are waiting for them. But you aren’t at that level yet, are you?”
“You’ve been telling me the same thing both five years ago and now.”
“I’m saying all this for your sake.”
She smiled. The rabbit always said the right things. She clearly divided things into what she had to do and what she should not do. Following her advice resulted in constant applause and a successful career. Not once did listening to the rabbit bring about a bad result. The rule for success, this was what the rabbit meant to her.
“I know. I know how much you think about me and about how much you cherish me. At first, I thought that you were a personality created by my delusion, but I found out something through talking to you. You are from outside of my thoughts. I don’t believe in G.o.ds or destinies or whatever, but I do believe that you exist; because you are in front of me. For some reason, you cherish me and help me. Ever since I met you, my acting improved day by day, and I was able to stand here. I’m really thankful for that. It’s thanks to you that I am where I am today.”
“I only wish for one thing: your happiness.”
“I know that you’re not lying. I can feel it. For some reason, I can tell when I look into your eyes: what you’re thinking and what kind of feelings you have. It’s like you’re someone I know really well. Sometimes, I feel like I am looking in the mirror. Just like I’m looking at my own self.”
The rabbit did not say anything. Gaeul brushed her hair that drooped down next to her eyes behind her ears. She knew that this day was going to come eventually: a day when she was going to go against the rabbit.
When it came to work, there was never any friction between her and the rabbit. Even when there were things she was suspicious about, the rabbit made her understand the situation through insight that felt as though she was from the future. However, there was one thing that was an exception: Maru.
When it came to him, the rabbit always said ‘no’ without listening to the circ.u.mstances; she said that meeting him was absolutely no good and that calling him was something hurtful. She told her that they would meet eventually and that she should just wait for now. No, she didn’t just tell her to wait, she forced her to just like a CEO of a company with authority over human resources giving orders to a new employee. Six years ago, the rabbit’s words sounded plausible. She believed that the rabbit was right in saying that there were many things to give up in order to chase him. When he announced the breakup, the rabbit even told her that it was a good thing. She said that Maru must have understood that they were keeping a distance in order to improve themselves and said that Maru was a bad person. You should forget about him; there must be someone better; you’re a splendid woman after all. She even felt consoled by those words. Such words were necessary in order to forget about the pain that ripped her heart. It was a year after they broke up that she collected herself. She realized that he was still there in a corner of her heart. She wanted to meet him. She wanted to go find him. It was the rabbit that prevented her from making that decision. She said that her acting career would be damaged if she went to him right now.
She was hesitant, but she felt that it wouldn’t matter if her popularity was something that would disappear by meeting him just once. As long as she heard what she couldn’t hear that day, it would be okay to give up many things.
“Would Maru be happy to see you right now? Don’t you think he’ll have an even harder time? I heard that there are accidents in the military caused by people who recently broke up. In severe cases, there are even people who commit suicide.”
That made her afraid. When she said that she was going to cancel her visit, the rabbit told her that she did well and that it was better to focus on work. For the first time back then, she felt something beyond suspicion; she felt something closer to malice. Perhaps the rabbit was using success as an excuse to not let her meet Maru instead of telling her that she shouldn’t be meeting Maru in order to become successful. She didn’t show it on the surface, but she started filtering the rabbit’s words from that day onwards. She listened to the things related to work, but whenever the rabbit went on about private matters, she started ignoring her. Residue started piling up in her heart. She felt that she was going to fight with the rabbit someday over this, and that happened to be today.
“Do you hate that I met Maru that much?”
“It’s not like I hate it. This isn’t something you should approach emotionally but as a business. I tell you this all the time, but for a young actress, having a man brings more losses than benefits.”
“Alright, then I choose losses.”
“What do you mean?”
“I became sure about it after I met him. I like working as an actress. I love this job. But I like Maru a little more. If the price of being with him is a hit to my career, then I think that’s a cheap price to pay.”
“So it comes down to that after all.”
“It’s me who wants to ask. Why are you so against me meeting Maru? I thought that perhaps you hate Maru, but that wasn’t it. I can tell when I look at you, just like how you know me, but I couldn’t tell no matter how much I thought about it. Above all, there’s a contradiction in your words. You always talked about love and romance when it came to men other than Maru. It was like you wanted me to date them. Back then, I felt suspicious, but I am sure now after looking at you. It’s not that meeting a man is a problem, it’s meeting Maru that’s a problem.”
“Think however you want. But don’t forget that I’m telling you all this for your sake.”
“I won’t. I’ll always be thankful. I’ll listen to your words deeply. But when it comes to Maru, I will no longer listen to you. I am going to meet him.”
“Did you know? Excessive love sometimes brings destruction.”
“Don’t you think that’s okay if you’re with the person you love?”
The rabbit’s whiskers twitched. She looked startled. Gaeul even pitied her for trying to persuade her otherwise. She reached her hands out. She wrapped the rabbit with her hands.
“Don’t worry. Everything will go well. Even if it doesn’t, I will never blame you for it. You’re my closest friend and a strict teacher.”
“Regrets are late no matter when it comes.”
“It’s fine even if I regret it.”
“You’re really stubborn.”
“That’s what’s good and bad, about me.”
The rabbit nodded in understanding. She seemed to have given up. Gaeul was curious about the reason she tried to prevent her from meeting Maru, but she didn’t plan to ask. It was all in the past after all.
“We can still be together in the future, right?”
“If you want, I will still keep helping you. But remember this: You must always be cautious with your decisions. And also, it’s not right to go outside common knowledge.”
“That’s a little too obvious.”
“You will have to keep that obvious thing in mind. Whenever it is, and regardless of the circ.u.mstances.”
The rabbit glanced at the side dish container.
“Almonds?”
“Yeah. I want to give you one, but you can’t eat it, can you?”
“I do like them, but my body is like this, so I can’t eat them. But almonds, huh. I see, it’s coming closer.”
What’s coming closer – she was about to ask when she got a phone call. It was Maru.
-Uhm, it just hit me after I sent you off, but.
“Mhm? What is it?”
-Are you okay with almonds? I thought you could eat them but then I remembered that they would make you ticklish, so you tend to avoid them.
“Right. Why did I forget about that? That’s strange.”
-Did you eat a lot?
“Yeah. But I’m okay. I ate some in the morning, so I should have been having symptoms by now. Maybe my const.i.tution changed as I grew up?”
-Then okay. But just in case, don’t eat too much, okay?
“How kind. Did you call just for that?”
-Yeah.
“Alright. I was eating some just now, but I guess I should stop.”
Just as she closed the lid, she somehow recalled chocolate almonds. Following that, a scene where a child she had never seen before climbed up a chair and reached out to the cupboard flashed in her mind.
“Chocolate almonds.”
-What?
“No, nothing.”
She stood up with the container. She then hung up, telling Maru that they should call later. The scene that flashed in her mind became faint in an instant. It was a strange thing. Was that scene from a movie?
“So this time, it’s next time as well. Maybe we’ll be able to finish it next time?”
The rabbit left those words before disappearing. She ruminated on those incomprehensible words before shrugging. That fellow was rather unpredictable.