In spite of these vague fears that seem to extinguish hope within my soul, I know that although Thou art the mighty and strong G.o.d before whom the cherubim veil themselves with their wings, the just and all-seeing G.o.d who discovers blemishes in the purest souls, still Thou wishest to be in the most Holy Sacrament only the Victim whose Blood effaces the sins of the world; the Good Shepherd who hastens after the strayed sheep and carries it tenderly and unreproachfully back to the fold; the divine Mediator who comes _not to judge but to save_.[28] All this I know, O my G.o.d! and therefore _I hope_.
Act of Love.
Notwithstanding the coldness and insensibility that benumb my soul, I know that _I love Thee_, O my G.o.d! since my will prefers Thy service to all the joys of this world, since Thy grace is the sole good to which I aspire, and because I suffer so much by reason of my lack of sensible love for Thee.
Act of Desire.
No, I am not indifferent, Thou knowest, O my G.o.d! that I am not indifferent to this Most Holy Sacrament which I approach unmoved by any sensible feeling: for Thou seest that although I find in Holy Communion neither relish nor consolation, I would yet make any sacrifice in order to receive it.
Act of Contrition.
I feel neither hatred nor horror of sins to which the world does not attach shame and contempt; I experience no sensible sorrow for the sins I have committed, but I know, O my G.o.d! that, with the a.s.sistance of Thy grace, my will denounces them, for I am resolved to commit them no more.
I have taken this resolution because sin displeases Thee and because all that swerves from eternal order is abhorrent to Thy infinite sanct.i.ty. _I believe, then, that I am contrite_, O my G.o.d! because I believe in Thy promises, and if Thou dost not always grant us the consolation of realizing our contrition, Thou wilt never refuse its justifying virtue to those who humbly implore it; and this I do.
No, my G.o.d, I shall not pray Thee to grant me sensible enjoyment, not even that of Thy spiritual gifts: what I implore of Thy grace is to keep my will ever turned towards Thee and never to permit it to fall or wander anew on the earth.
_Lord! into Thy hands I commend my spirit._
(Read _The Imitation_, Chapters IV., XIV., XV. of B. IV.; and Chapters XXV., XLVIII and LII of B. III.)
If you have an ardent desire for the sensible love of G.o.d, a desire that cannot but be pleasing to Him provided you are at the same time resigned to be deprived of it, remember that according to Saint John Chrysostom it can be obtained only by fidelity to prayer. G.o.d wishes, says the Saint, to make us realize by experience that we cannot have His love but from Himself, and that this love, which is the true happiness of our souls, is not to be acquired by the reflections of our minds or the natural efforts of our hearts, but by the gratuitous infusion of the Holy Ghost. Yes, this love is so great a good that G.o.d wishes to be the sole dispenser of it: He bestows it only in proportion as we ask it of Him, and ordinarily makes us wait for some time before He grants it.
There are few prayers better calculated to dispose the soul to receive this great grace than the XVI. and XVII. chapters of the IVth. Book, and XXI. and x.x.xIV. of the IIId. Book of _The Imitation_.
For thanksgiving after Communion, read Chapters x.x.xIV., V., XXI., II. and X. of the III. Book of _The Imitation_.
Footnotes
[1]Saint Paul, I. Cor. x., 13, says: ... G.o.d is faithful, Who will not suffer you to be tempted above what you are able: but will even make with temptation an issue, that you may be able to bear it.
[2]The Chevalier du Chambon de Mesilliac, who translated this little work of P. Quadrupani"s into French, inserted much additional matter, quotations for the most part from the same authorities frequently cited by the Italian author. These selections he placed at the end of each _Instruction_ under the t.i.tle of "Additions." The English translator has changed this arrangement into one which seems more convenient and better calculated to maintain the connection of ideas.
Therefore the extracts chosen by the French translator are here inserted in the body of the text, immediately following the paragraphs which suggested them, and are marked by asterisks to distinguish them from the original matter.
[3]St. Francis de Sales.
[4]Proverbs, x.x.x, 21-23: "By three things is the earth disturbed ... by a bondwoman, when she is heir to her mistress...."
[5]II. Cor., xii., 9.
[6]John, vi, 57.
[7]Matt. xi., 28.
[8]Saint Luke, c. V. vv. 8-10.
[9]Luke V., 32. Mark II., 17. Matthew IX., 13.
[10]Epist. St. Paul to the Hebrews.
[11]St. Paul to the Philippians, IV., 13.
[12]Matt. X., 30.
[13]Matt. X., 30:-Luke XII., 7.-"_Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted._"
[14]III Kings, C. XIX.
[15]Ecce in pace est amaritudo mea amarissima. (Isaias.)
[16]Saint Francis de Sales.
[17]See P. Rodriguez, S. J., Christian Perfection, C. I.
[18]Gen. I., 11.
[19]Psalm CL., 5. _Let every spirit praise the Lord_.
[20]Luke, IX., 54.
[21]Ecclesiastes III., 7.
[22]Ps. CL., 5.
[23]St. Paul, I Cor. I., 13.
[24]S. James, Cath. Ep. III., 14-15.
[25]S. Paul, I Cor. XIII., 4-5.
[26]Proverbs, XXVI., 5.
[27]_Imitation_, B. IV., c. VI.: "For if I do not appeal to Thee, I fly from life; and if I intrude myself unworthily I incur Thy displeasure."
[28]S. John, c. XII., v. 47: "For I came not to judge the world, but to save the world."