Chapter 1183 - 1183 No Distractions
Mortis found himself in the body of a mortal bird. The mortal bird was simply sitting on a tree, looking at five different eggs on the ground in the middle of a forest.
For a bit, Mortis had to get used to these new sensations. Not being able to control his own perception felt strange and alien. It was like he was only a spectator to someone else"s actions. He had no control over anything.
After a while, Mortis saw a grey snake come out of one of the eggs, and Mortis saw the snake how the bird saw it.
Not food.
Possible danger.
These were the only two things the bird thought of the snake.
After a while, the newborn snake simply moved away and crawled into the thicket of the forest.
That"s when Mortis" perspective changed to another animal.
Mortis had already known what would wait for him thanks to Gravis" experiences in Samsara, but it felt different than Mortis had expected.
For some reason, Mortis felt more nervous than he had believed.
Time pa.s.sed, and the snake eventually grew up and became a Spirit Forming beast.
By now, Mortis had gotten used to his new situation. He focused on keeping his emotions isolated with the Law of Emotions so that he wouldn"t get invested. Because of that, he felt quite relaxed in all of this.
However, there was one problem.
There was nothing Mortis could do.
He couldn"t fight, comprehend Laws, or talk with anyone.
He couldn"t even close his eyes.
In essence, he was forced to simply watch.
Some years pa.s.sed, and Mortis managed to dissociate from what was happening in front of him. Now, whatever happened to the snake didn"t concern Mortis. To him, it made no difference if something was happening around him or not. It had nothing to do with him.
Mortis only focused on himself.
However, Mortis couldn"t lose himself like Gravis.
He tried to, but something was stopping him, and he knew exactly why.
Whenever Mortis had lost his sense of time, he had been focused on comprehending something. So, in a sense, 100% of his mind had been immersed in this one thing. These things had been Laws.
But this time, Mortis couldn"t immerse himself in anything.
He also couldn"t just deactivate his mind.
His mind could be suppressed for a short time, but then, he would involuntarily start thinking about something.
Mortis would start thinking about his past, about his future, about his present, about the things he had done, about the things he wanted to do, about past decisions, about hypothetical decisions in hypothetical scenarios, about everything.
One thought jumped to the forefront in one of these random spurts of thoughts. "Is this what Orthar meant?" Mortis asked himself in his mind.
"I"ve always been distracted my entire life. If I hadn"t been distracted by Laws, I was distracted by others or by fighting for my life."
"I"ve actually never had time to think about myself."
"I"ve never been forced to just wait around like this."
"Yet, this is exactly what Gravis had gone through several times by now. There have been no distractions, and nothing interesting happened. It has only been me and my thoughts."
Of course, saying that there were no distractions wasn"t exactly correct. After all, Mortis was watching the life of someone unfold right before him, and he was also a.s.saulted by all the different emotions of the onlookers.
Just due to the emotions, any other person in Mortis" position would be intrigued by what was happening.
However, for Mortis, this entire thing might as well not exist.
Why?
Because he had control over the Law of Emotions, which allowed him to isolate himself. Additionally, Mortis was more coldhearted than Gravis anyway, which meant that he generally cared less about the lives of beings he perceived as weaker.
Of course, the isolation wasn"t perfect. If it were perfect, Mortis wouldn"t know the Major Law of Emotions, but the True Law of Emotions.
The isolation would let some emotions pa.s.s, and they might acc.u.mulate into something dangerous. However, that would take a very, very long time.
Yet, even if the isolation wasn"t perfect, it was still good enough to make everything Mortis saw incredibly boring.
Mortis had nothing to focus on, which forced him to focus on himself.
Gravis had always needed to focus on himself during Samsara, and now, Mortis was forced to do the same thing.
Eventually, Mortis ran out of things to think about, and even repeating the thoughts became mundane.
At some point, Mortis only had uncomfortable thoughts left.
Mortis thought about his time with Azure.
It was absolutely wonderful.
He wished he could be with Azure every single day.
And then, Gravis appeared in Mortis" thoughts.
Mortis wanted to journey more with Gravis, and he wanted to become powerful. Even more, Mortis didn"t want to feel guilty by letting Gravis do all the work.
However, Mortis also felt like he spent way too little time with Azure because of that.
He wanted to spend more time with Azure, but he couldn"t due to his other goal.
On top of that, Mortis also wanted to resolve the issue between his father and Orthar. Both of them had helped him, and Mortis wanted to repay them.
Yet, this part felt more like a responsibility instead of something he actually wanted. It felt like it was something he simply had to do.
What did Mortis actually want to do?
He wanted to spend more time with Azure.
Why couldn"t he?
Because he could only do that by betraying his friends and family. Of course, they might not see his actions as a betrayal, but Mortis viewed them as a betrayal.
Mortis felt like he was trapped in a cage, and to escape, he had to travel through a mountain of time and danger.
Yet, what if Azure died before he could finish the mountain?
It would take an incredibly long time for Mortis to become a Heaven"s Magnate. During that time, Azure would have definitely already reached the Divine G.o.d Realm.
Could Azure survive for so long?
Sure, she was powerful, and she always received a ton of Laws from Mortis.
However, how good was her growth ability in danger?
What if one of her opponents managed to comprehend a Law in their fight, and she couldn"t?
Then, wouldn"t Mortis feel like he would have worked on the mountain for nothing?
His goal was happiness, and his happiness depended on Azure, and Azure probably couldn"t live forever.
This meant that there might be a time constraint for reaching his goal.
If Azure died, wouldn"t Mortis hate himself for not spending more time with her while she was alive?
Mortis had thought about these things for a long time, and these thoughts were the main reason for his inner conflict.
"If Stella died, Gravis would be devastated. However, he would be able to recover eventually, and he would continue living. At some point, he would find someone that could reawaken his feelings, and he would be able to chase happiness again."
"To him, happiness is an eternal goal. Awakening his happiness depends on the people around him, but the seed of happiness will remain indestructible and will remain inside him. It only has to wait for more people to appear."
"What if Azure died?"
Mortis felt like his mind was thinking about something, but he couldn"t put it into words.
He felt like he was a.n.a.lyzing something he didn"t know.
He was a.n.a.lyzing his own feelings.
As more time pa.s.sed, Mortis became more and more uncertain.
He wasn"t sure about the right answer.
At the same time, in front of him, the snake had become a Peak Immortal Emperor.
Not even 10% of Samsara had pa.s.sed.