Chapter 1184 - 1184 First Trial Complete
Over the next million years, Mortis continually wrung with his thoughts and doubts.
He was forced to confront them since there was nothing else to distract him.
This had been one of Mortis" most difficult periods of time, but he had managed to get through it eventually.
In the end, Mortis managed to somewhat strengthen his resolve.
"I can"t know the future. I can"t already start regretting my actions for a future that might not even arrive. It is not sure that Azure will die. As long as I become a Heaven"s Magnate, I can ask her to stop cultivating if she wants. Additionally, I can ask Orthar for eternal life for Azure when that happens. Keeping her alive wouldn"t damage his world."
"When we can exit the Cosmos, we can even take all our friends with us. At that time, the rules of longevity and tribulations don"t exist anymore. Even an Immortal can theoretically live for eternity as long as they don"t meet danger."
"I can only work on becoming powerful as fast as possible."
"I"ve doubted my past actions, but now I realize that my past actions have been correct. I only spent a short time with Azure between Laws, and I will continue to do so. I have to keep our love alive, but I also have to work as hard as possible on becoming powerful. That"s the best way I can see to achieve power."
"I want to live with Azure for eternity, and that"s how I will achieve it."
This was Mortis" strengthened resolve.
Sadly, the beast in front of Mortis had only just become a level five Star G.o.d.
There was still a long way to go.
However, with Mortis" newfound resolve, he found it easier to lose himself.
The reason why Mortis hadn"t been able to lose himself wasn"t that he had no distractions but because his worries forbade him from thinking nothing. The worries had just entered his mind without any invitation, and there had been nothing Mortis could do except to confront them.
Because of that, Mortis managed to lose himself, and time seemingly pa.s.sed faster before his eyes.
Five million years later, the beast had become an Ancestral G.o.d.
However, Mortis" ability to lose himself had become weaker.
The tiny smidges of emotions that had pa.s.sed his isolating barrier had acc.u.mulated.
Now, Mortis felt a bit invested in the life of the person in front of him, and he started to subconsciously root for them.
If someone was isolated for long enough, even an unimportant hole in the walls surrounding them might become emotionally connected to the person.
After all, the hole was marginally more interesting than the wall.
Mortis had realized what was happening, and he continually told himself to stay himself.
He couldn"t let the life of this Ancestral G.o.d change him.
Sadly, as more time pa.s.sed, Mortis felt like what the Ancestral G.o.d was doing was the right decision, even if Mortis wouldn"t have thought that previously.
Mortis even started to feel a slight feeling of love towards the Ancestral G.o.d"s partner, which made him grit his teeth violently.
Mortis felt himself change, and he feared that he might lose himself.
Mortis had finally managed to affirm his conviction and goals, and he was happy about how he currently was. He didn"t want to change into someone that didn"t have these strong convictions.
That would throw away all the hard work he had done!
In the worst-case scenario, Mortis might actually become the Ancestral G.o.d.
Another five million years pa.s.sed.
Mortis had been in Samsara for ten million years, far longer than he had ever believed.
By now, Mortis felt like his actual life had been nothing but a dream.
Maybe this was reality?
Mortis had spent ten times the amount of time in here than actually living his life.
Have his past thoughts all been illusions?
Yet, whenever Mortis saw the person in the vision fight someone else, Mortis knew how some Laws of the opponent worked while the person himself had no idea how they worked.
This was the only thing that allowed Mortis to keep him disconnected from the person in Samsara.
And then, one day, the Ancestral G.o.d destroyed a Sect.
Mortis immediately knew what this meant, and his mind awakened ancient images.
Mortis remembered that someone named Gravis had suffered under the Sin Monsters and that Mortis had helped him.
This made Mortis consider his past life more seriously, and he tried to remember it.
However, that wasn"t necessary.
As soon as all of this happened, Mortis felt his perception change again.
He entered the perception of someone that could see the entire world, and he also saw how this being perceived the Ancestral G.o.d.
Useful whetstone.
"You"ve managed to survive," Orthar said into Mortis" mind.
Mortis had entered Orthar"s perception since Orthar had allowed it.
Back then, Orthar hadn"t yet known about his own plan, but as soon as he felt the perception of Mortis entering his mind, he knew what he had to do.
"It"s over," Orthar said.
And then, Mortis woke up from Samsara.
In the real world, only an instant had pa.s.sed.
Mortis fell to the ground in confusion.
"You ok?" Gravis asked with worry as he put a hand on Mortis" shoulder.
Mortis looked with shocked and confused eyes at Gravis.
Many old memories entered Mortis, and he remembered everything that had happened before entering Samsara.
"Samsara," Mortis said slowly.
Mortis looked at the dead person in front of him for a long time.
He had seen his entire life, and he had even cheered for him near the end. Mortis knew everything about him, and he knew what was important to him.
Yet, the person Mortis had watched for their entire life from all different angles had ended up becoming a whetstone for Mortis" conviction.
Mortis felt a disconnect.
It was like Mortis had gotten to know and to care for someone just for them to end up dying so that he could become stronger.
Mortis hadn"t cared about the people he had killed in the past, but this time, he cared.
"I know it"s hard," Gravis said carefully, "but you have control over yourself now. You can speak, and you can act. This is completely different from when you have been under Samsara."
"You have control over reality by doing actions, which makes reality feel far more real than perceived reality. In just a couple of years, nearly all the memories you have witnessed will go to the back of your mind. You won"t forget them, but they feel like something unimportant."
"Yet, they have slightly altered you, and that can"t be helped. I also always change very slightly after I go through Samsara. However, that change doesn"t come from something foreign entering my Spirit, but just from me becoming older and witnessing more things."
"Don"t think too much about what you have witnessed. Think about what you want to accomplish and what you want to become. Use your actions to achieve your goals."
"You are you, and that won"t change," Gravis said.
"No matter how much I change," Mortis automatically completed.
"Take some time," Gravis said with a smile. "You"ll be your new old self very soon."
Then, Gravis stood up and looked at Orthar with interest.
"Has Mortis entered your perception?" Gravis asked.
"Yes," Orthar answered.
"Then, why did you act like he could die?" Gravis asked. "You should have known that he would survive Samsara."
Orthar looked at Gravis.