"Oh, no. Not if it amuses you. Not if you"ll play fair."
"What do you call unfair?"
"For one thing, the way you"ve turned yourself out tonight."
"But only a moment ago you were leading me to believe I"d turned out at least pa.s.sing fair." Lucinda affected a sigh. "And I was so happy to think I"d found favour!"
"I presume the intellectual level would be lowered if I were to say with What"s-his-name, "_If she be not fair to me, what care I how fair she be_"?"
But Lucinda, in a pensive turn, shook her head and, eyeing him gravely, murmured: "I wonder...."
"What do you wonder, Cinda?"
"What you told me last night.... Was it true?"
"That I had never stopped being in love with you? G.o.d help me! that was true enough, too true."
"Then I wonder if it"s fair to you, and to me, the way we"re going. I mean...." She faltered, with a sign of petulance. "Be patient with me, Dobbin. It isn"t easy to figure some things out, you know. I mean, if you _are_ in love with me----"
"Forget the "if"."
"And Bel is not.... Oh, no, he isn"t! He"s in love with the figure he cuts as my lord and master and the dashing beau of every other pretty woman--not with me. Well! since you are and he isn"t, and I"m discontented, and so fond of you, Dobbin: _is_ it fair to either of us--because I"m bound to think of you, you know, and can"t very well think of you dispa.s.sionately...." She concluded with a little shrug and a deprecating smile. "I don"t know, Dobbin, I really don"t know!"
"It isn"t fair," he said--"of course--unless--"
She nodded seriously: "That"s just it."
"I can only say, Cinda, whatever you do or say or think is right. It"s all for you to decide."
"And I"m afraid I can"t--not yet, at least. And when I do, I ought to warn you, the chances are I shan"t decide the way you want me to."
"I know. But don"t worry about me. I can take punishment, I"ve proved that, I think. So do what seems best to you. I"ll faithfully follow your lead. I only want to play the game."
"And I.... But we both want to be sure it"s worth the scandal, don"t we, Dobbin?"
"You joke about what"s life and death to me!"
"I did it on purpose, old dear." Lucinda tapped his arm intimately with her fan. "Yes, I did. I don"t want you to think, afterwards--if it turns out so you"d be tempted to think it--that I didn"t, as you say, play fair. So it"s only fair to let you find out as soon as possible that I"m an incurably frivolous person, Dobbin, vain, trifling, flippant, and--I"m afraid--a flirt."
"Not you!"
"Truly. Haven"t I been letting you believe I made myself pretty tonight for your sake? It isn"t true, at least not all true. It was for my own sake, really, because we"re going to the opera, and everybody I know will see me there, and I want them to know what Bel neglects for his--other women!"
From the doorway an unctuous voice announced: "Dinner is served, madam."
XI
In this newest phase of that day"s protean gamut, in this temper of reckless yet cool determination to avenge her pride and coerce life into rendering up all that it had of late withheld, she put every curbing consideration behind, and resolutely set herself for that night at least to live only for the moment and wring from each its ultimate drop of pleasure, to be amused and to be amusing, to make fete and to be feted.
Daubeney, wanting whom all her efforts must have been wasted, for whether she love him or not a woman needs a man in love with her at hand to be at her best--Dobbin was fairly dazzled, not so much by charms of person never more witching as by gay spirits the gayer for this sudden indulgence after long inhibition, by delicate audacity, wit swift, mutable and pungent, and pa.s.sages of sheer bravura in Lucinda"s exposition of the arts of coquetry.
The way she flirted with him was something shameful. For the matter of that, never a masculine moth blundered into the Druce box during the entr"actes but flopped dazedly away, wondering what the deuce was the matter with old Bellamy, had he gone absolutely balmy. But Dobbin in his capacity of cavalier servente suffered more than anybody, for she took an impish delight in luring him beyond his depth and then leaving him to flounder out as best he might.
"See here!" he reminded her indignantly as the curtain rose on the last act of _Louise_--"you promised to play fair." Lucinda arched mocking brows above round eyes. "Don"t call this sort of thing keeping your word, do you?"
"Aren"t you having a good time, Dobbin dear?" In the half-light of the box Lucinda leaned slightly toward him, and her delicious voice dripped sympathy. "I"m so sorry, I"ve been trying so hard not to bore you."
"I didn"t say I was bored. I ain"t--I"m being plagued by a heartless young she-devil that ought to be spanked and sent to bed. d.a.m.n it, Cinda! you not only ought to, you do know better. You know _I_ take it seriously. But you--you"re merely playing."
"But with fire--eh, Dobbin?"
"You know that, too."
"And you"re warning me lest I get singed?" Lucinda contrived to look a little awed. "How thoughtful!"
"Don"t make me out a greater dunce than I am."
"Meaning you don"t think I"m in any danger of getting scorched, carrying on with you?"
"Worse luck!"
"Dobbin: have you been deceiving me, aren"t you the least bit inflammable, after all?"
"You know jolly well I took fire years ago and have never since managed to get the conflagration under control. Isn"t ladylike to put the bellows to flames you don"t mean to quench."
"How appallingly technical! But you do sputter so entertainingly, Dobbin--burning under forced draught, I presume you"d say, with your pa.s.sion for riding a metaphor till it flounders--I"m not sure I"d care to see you quenched; I hate to think of you being put out with me."
"You play with words precisely as you play with me."
"You think so? Well, perhaps, but--Dobbin--don"t be too sure. Think how sad it would be if you were to find out, too late, you"d been mistaken, you"d meant more to me than words could tell, more than you knew."
Over this equivoque Dobbin shook a baffled head; and Lucinda laughed, glanced carelessly toward the stage to make sure that the act still was young, and offered to rise.
"Let"s not stay any longer, Dobbin, or we"ll be caught in the carriage jam. Let"s trot along and have a good time."
"What"s the next jump?"
"To the Palais Royal." Dobbin uttered an involuntary sound of dissent.
"Why not? Julie Allingham wants us to join her party--says everybody goes there nowadays, and it"s desperately rowdy and loads of fun--said to ask for her box and make ourselves at home if we got there before she did."
Mrs. Allingham was not one of Daubeney"s favorites. A persevering body, with a genius for trading in last season"s husband for the latest model, gifted likewise with incurable impudence and poverty of tact, both of which she was clever enough to veneer with vivacity and exploit as whimsical idiosyncrasies, she failed to measure up to his notion of the type of woman with whom Lucinda ought to be seen. He had been civil, no more, when she had danced into the box during the first entr"acte to make a public fuss over her darling Cindy, and then--engaged in small-talk by Julie"s satellites, two sleek but otherwise featureless bloods--had failed to hear her invitation; and Julie had carefully forgotten to remind him of it on taking her leave.
So Daubeney wasn"t pleased as he helped Lucinda with her wraps; and she read disgruntlement in his silence and constraint.
"You don"t want to go, Dobbin? With me? Why?"