"You don"t know anything about it," she said, pushing away Meg"s hand.
"I don"t know much," replied Meg meekly; "but Jesus says in the Bible, that if our fathers "ll give us good things, G.o.d "ll much more give good things to anybody as asks for "em."
"But I"m too bad to ask Him," said the girl.
"I don"t know what"s to be done, then," answered Meg. "The Bible says, "Those that ask Him"; and if you are too bad to ask Him, I suppose He won"t give you any good things."
The girl made no reply, but crouching down upon the hearth at Meg"s feet, she sat looking into the fire with the expression of one who is thinking deeply. Meg too was silent for a time, smiling now and then as she recollected that father would be at home to-morrow.
"I don"t know what you"re called," said Meg, after a very long silence.
"Oh, they call me Kitty, and Puss, and Madcap, and all sorts o" names,"
answered the girl, with a deep sigh.
"But that"s not your christen name?" said Meg.
"No," she replied.
"What does your mother call you?" asked Meg.
For a moment little Meg was terrified, for the girl seized her hands in a strong and painful grasp, and her red eyes flamed with anger; but she loosed her hold gradually, and then, in a choking voice, she said, "Don"t you never speak to me about my mother!"
"Have you got any money, Kitty?" inquired Meg, by way of turning the conversation.
"Not a rap," said Kitty, laughing hoa.r.s.ely.
"I"ve got two shillings left," continued Meg, "and I"ll give you one; only, if you please, you mustn"t come into my room again, at least till father"s at home. I promised mother not to let anybody at all come here. You"ll not be angry, will you?"
"No, I"m not angry," said Kitty gently, "and you must always do what your mother told you, little Meg. She spoke kind to me once, she did.
So I"ll go away now, dear, and never come in again: but you wouldn"t mind me listening at the door when Robbie"s saying his prayers sometimes?"
"No," answered Meg; "and you may listen when I read up loud, if you like. I always read something afore I go to bed, and I"ll speak up loud enough for you to hear."
"I"ll listen," said Kitty, standing up to go to her own dark, cold attic, and looking round sadly at Meg"s tidy room, all ready as it was for her father"s arrival. "I suppose you"d not mind me kissing the children afore I go?"
"Oh no," said Meg, going with her to the bedside, and looking down fondly upon the children"s sleeping faces. The baby"s pale small face wore a smile upon it, as did Robin"s also, for he was dreaming of the gardens he had visited on his birthday. The girl bent over them, but she drew back without kissing them, and with a sharp painful tone in her voice she said, "I wish I was dead, I do."
CHAPTER VII
Little Meg"s Disappointment
If Meg had been up early on Robin"s birthday, she was out of bed and about her preparations still earlier the next morning. She had time to go over again most of her brushing and rubbing of the scanty furniture before the children awoke. She reached out all their best clothes, and her own as well, for she did not intend to go down to the docks to meet her father, but thought it would be best to wait at home for his arrival. Her hands were full, and her thoughts also, for some time; and it was not till the nearest clock struck eleven that she could consider all her preparations completed.
When all her work was done, Meg helped Robin up to the window-sill, and climbed after him herself to the perilous seat, with the baby held fast upon her lap. It was the first time the baby had been allowed to occupy this dangerous place, and for the first few minutes Meg was not without her fears; but it was weary and languid this morning, and sat quite still upon her lap, with its little head resting upon her shoulder, and its grave eyes looking out inquiringly upon the strange world in which it found itself. Meg and Robin watched every man who entered the court; and every now and then Robin would clap his hands, and shout loudly, "Father, father!" making Meg"s arms tremble, and her heart beat fast with expectation. But it was nine months since he had gone away, and Robin had almost forgotten him, so that it always proved not to be her father. Hour after hour pa.s.sed by, and Meg cut up the last piece of bread for the children and herself, and yet he never came; though they stayed faithfully at their post, and would not give up looking for him as long as the daylight lasted. But the night drew near at last, an early night, for it was the first day in November, and London fogs grow thick then; and Meg kindled the fire again, and sat down by it, unwilling to undress the children before he came. So she sat watching and waiting, until the baby fell into a broken, sobbing slumber on her lap, and Robin lay upon the floor fast asleep.
At length Meg resolved to lay the children in bed, dressed as they were, and steal down herself to the docks, under the shelter of the fog, to see if she could learn any news of the Ocean King. She drew the old shawl over her head, which well covered her red frock, and taking off her shoes and stockings--for father would not miss them in the night--she crept unseen and unheard down the dark staircase, and across the swarming, noisy court. The fog was growing thicker every minute, yet she was at no loss to find her way, so familiar it was to her. But when she reached the docks, the darkness of the night, as well as that of the fog, hid from her the presence of her good-natured friend, if indeed he was there. There were strange noises and rough voices to be heard, and from time to time the huge figure of some tall man appeared to her for an instant in the gloom, and vanished again before little Meg could find courage to speak to him. She drew back into a corner, and peered eagerly, with wistful eyes, into the thick yellow mist which hid everything from them, while she listened to the clank of iron cables, and the loud sing-song of the invisible sailors as they righted their vessels. If she could only hear her father"s voice among them! She felt sure she should know it among a hundred others, and she was ready to cry aloud the moment it reached her ears--to call "Father!" and he would be with her in an instant, and she in his arms, with her own clasped fast about his neck. Oh, if he would but speak out of the darkness! Meg"s keen eyes grew dim with tears, and her ears seemed to become dull of hearing, from the very longing to see and hear more clearly. But she rubbed away the tears with her shawl, and pushed the tangled hair away behind her small ears, and with her hands pressed against her heart, to deaden its throbbing, she leaned forward to pierce, if possible, through the thick dark veil which separated her from her father.
She had been there a long time when the thought crossed her, that perhaps after all he had been knocking at the door at home, and trying to open it; waking up the children, and making them cry and scream with terror at finding themselves quite alone. She started up to hurry away; but at that moment a man came close by, and in the extremity of her anxiety Meg stopped him.
"Please," she said earnestly, "is the Ocean King come in yet?"
"Ay," was the answer. "Came in last night, all right and tight."
"Father must be come home, then," thought Meg, speeding away swiftly and noiselessly with her bare feet along the streets to Angel Court.
She glanced up anxiously to her attic window, which was all in darkness, while the lower windows glimmered with a faint light from within. The landlord"s room was full of a clamorous, quarrelling crew of drunkards; and Meg"s spirit sank as she thought--suppose father had been up to their attic, and finding it impossible to get in at once, had come down, and begun to drink with them! She climbed the stairs quickly, but all was quiet there; and she descended again to hang about the door, and listen, and wait; either to discover if he was there, or to prevent him turning in when he did come. Little Meg"s heart was full of a woman"s heaviest care and anxiety, as she kept watch in the damp and the gloom of the November night, till even the noisy party within broke up, and went their way, leaving Angel Court to a brief season of quietness.
Meg slept late in the morning, but she was not disturbed by any knock at the door. Robin had crept out of bed and climbed up alone to the window-sill, where fortunately the window was shut and fastened; and the first thing Meg"s eyes opened upon was Robin sitting there, in the tumbled clothes in which he had slept all night. The morning pa.s.sed slowly away in mingled hope and fear; but no step came up the ladder to their door, and Kitty had gone out early in the morning, before Meg was awake. She spent her last shilling in buying some coal and oatmeal; and then, because it was raining heavily, she stationed herself on the topmost step of the stairs, with Robin and baby, waiting with ever-growing dread for the long-delayed coming of her father.
It was growing dark again before any footstep came further than the landing below, and then it was a soft, stealthy, slipshod step, not like the strong and measured tread of a man. It was a woman who climbed the steep ladder, and Meg knew it could be no one else but Kitty. The girl sat down on the top step beside them, and took Robin upon her lap.
"What are you all doing out here, little Meg?" she said, in a low, gentle voice, which Meg could scarcely believe to be the same as that which had sometimes frightened her by its shrill shrieks of drunken merriment.
"We"re looking for father," she answered weariedly. "He"s never come yet, and I"ve spent all my money, and we"ve got no candles."
"Meg," said Kitty, "I can pay you back the shilling you gave me on Tuesday night."
"But you mustn"t come into our room, if you do," answered Meg.
"No, no, I"ll not come in," said she, pressing a shilling into Meg"s hand. "But why hasn"t father come home?"
"I don"t know," sobbed Meg. "His ship came in the night of Robbie"s birthday, that"s two days ago; and he"s never come yet."
"The ship come in!" repeated Kitty, in a tone of surprise. "What"s the name o" the ship, Meg?"
"Father"s ship"s the Ocean King," said Robin proudly.
"I"ll hunt him up," cried Kitty, rising in haste. "I"ll find him, if he"s anywhere in London. I know their ways, and where they go to, when they come ash.o.r.e, little Meg. Oh! I"ll hunt him out. You put the children to bed, dear; and then you sit up till I come back, if it"s past twelve o"clock, I"ll bring him home, alive or dead. Don"t cry no more, little Meg."
She called softly up the stairs to say these last words, for she had started off immediately. Meg did as she had told her, and then waited with renewed hope for her return. It was past midnight before Kitty tapped quietly at the door, and she went out to her on the landing.
But Kitty was alone, and Meg could hardly stand for the trembling which came upon her.
"Haven"t you found father?" she asked.
"I"ve found out where he is," answered Kitty. "He"s at the other end of the world, in hospital. He was took bad a-coming home--so bad, they was forced to leave him behind them; and he"ll work his way back when he"s well enough, so Jack says, one of his mates. He says he may come back soon, or come back late, and that"s all he knows about him. What shall you do, little Meg?"
"Mother said I was to be sure to take care of the children till father comes home," she answered, steadying her voice; "and I"ll do it, please G.o.d. I can ask Him to help me, and He will. He"ll take care of us."
"He hasn"t took care o" me," said Kitty bitterly.
"May be you haven"t asked Him," said Meg.
Kitty was silent for a minute, and then she spoke in a voice half choked with sobs.
"It"s too late now," she said, "but He"ll take care of you, never fear; and oh! I wish He"d let me help Him. I wish I could do something for you, little Meg; for your mother spoke kind to me once, and made me think of my own mother. There, just leave me alone, will you? I"m off to bed now, and you go to bed too. I"ll help you all I can."
She pushed Meg back gently into her attic, and closed the door upon her; but Meg heard her crying and moaning aloud in her own room, until she herself fell asleep.