When one had nothing to lose anymore, would a person truly become cruel and wicked like Li Chuntao? As she let the hot water wash off the dirt and sweat from her skin, the remnants of her nightmare, she tried to keep her thoughts busy. Her uncle had found leads on Ying"s cause of death and it was progressing smoothly, however, she remembered the bet he initiated with her. If she were to lose, it would be her fate to stay here permanently. This wasn"t something she would allow to happen.
She might be up for revenge, but she was sure as h.e.l.l her life didn"t belong to this place anymore. Her future no longer belonged to this place. Li Chuntao had no plans to lose to her uncle this time.
Once she was done, she would leave behind for good. This would not only give her peace but it would also allow her to start anew. The only question was, would she be brave enough to turn her back on Shen Zichen this time?
"Foolish," Li Chuntao closed her eyes and ran her hands over her wet hair. She had the audacity to call Mu Jianyu stupid when she was the biggest pathetic person around. The irony.
Hadn"t she learned her lessons yet? How many times did she need Shen Zichen to break her until her heart accepted what her mind already knew?
Her Aunt Yue"s words resounded in her mind. What could possibly be the outcome if she confessed everything to Shen Zichen? She doubted that he would look at her the same way if he knew.
This would not only open the wounds she had but she was sure Shen Zichen would blame himself for everything that happened to her. Knowing his personality, he probably would make a huge deal out of it.
Li Chuntao sighed. This was really getting out of hand. She was starting to regret having an affair with him. She knew she would regret it eventually and this would be a pain in the b.u.t.t to deal with later on.
She turned off the shower and pulled a clean towel to dry herself before slipping on her pajamas. It was almost midnight, but her mind was still filled with thoughts of him and the past. How can she detach herself from someone she couldn"t be with?
She"d known from the start that this wouldn"t be easy. Love wasn"t going to be fair to anyone. It won"t always go the way you wanted it to and Li Chuntao certainly knew that just because she loved him, it didn"t mean that he was going to fall in love with her in return.
It"s difficult when she was pining for someone she knew she"d never have, and this was the ugly side of love that people rarely talk about because of how sad it was. This was the kind of love that didn"t signal the beginning of something beautiful, but rather the end of something that might have been but will never amount to anything more.
Li Chuntao slid the gla.s.s door that led to the balcony open and looked outside. While everyone"s asleep, her mind was clear and active. Usually, according to her routine, by this time she should be starting her rounds and attending the patients in the emergency room. It had only been three months and yet, her hands and her mind were itching to go back to the routine her body was accustomed to.
"Can"t sleep?" A man"s voice interrupted her thoughts. She turned her head to her left and saw Shen Zichen leaning on the rail with a cigarette in his hand. He was looking smugly at her as if he already knew she would come out here tonight.
"Brother Zichen," she greeted him. She wasn"t expecting to see him.
Li Chuntao extended a hand to him and eyed his cigarette. He only smoked whenever he was really stressed about something. Ah, so she wasn"t the only one feeling pressured.
"Give me one," she demanded from him.
Shen Zichen took a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket and pa.s.sed it to her. Thankfully, the distance between their balconies wasn"t too far.
"I didn"t know you smoke," he said, almost sounding like a question to her ears, but there was no hint of disapproval on his face.
"Hmm.. you get to learn new habits when you"re away," she casually said and took a piece of cigarette and lit it up.
Neither of them talked for a while and just enjoyed each other"s company. Weren"t they always like this before she started having feelings for him? Li Chuntao hoped that they could return to what they were, before all these uncertainties surfaced.
"He"s still not home?" He asked out of the blue, breaking the silence between them.
"Hnn… he"s with that woman again. I"m guessing that pregnancy has made her more unstable," she leaned on the railing and looked at the busy streets below them.
"Your plan is actually working smoothly. Might as well finish it before they"re able to find a way to escape," he suggested.
"That depends on how they would react later, especially Mu Jianyu," she puffed the smoke out from her lips and felt the breeze playing with her damp hair.
"Has he started regretting what he"d done to Ying? It would be nice to see him groveling on his knees, asking for forgiveness." Shen Zichen hadn"t seen the man repent for the sins he committed, because every time he and Mu Jianyu met, there was this animosity that could never be ignored by others.
"We"ll get there soon, Brother Zichen. For now, let him experience the pain of betrayal from Ying. If he wasn"t so stupid, none of us would be here and Ying would have still been alive."
"Regret is always too late for those who have sinned." Shen Zichen agreed with her but Li Chuntao seemed to have a faraway look as if she wasn"t really into their conversation.
There was something different about Li Chuntao, but Shen Zichen couldn"t pinpoint what it was. She looked the same, but her eyes seemed guarded more than ever. What could possibly happen for her to change?
Li Chuntao was keeping a secret and she wasn"t telling him what it was, like she used to. Shen Zichen realized that she"s changed a lot ever since she migrated overseas. When she hadn"t left, they were open about their secrets to each other. She was even the first one whom he told about his attractions to Ying and about the woman he had a one night stand with.
Why was it, as he looked at her, couldn"t he even surmise what was going on in her mind? He could easily read her before. Did their long separation really drift them apart?
Whatever it was, Shen Zichen didn"t like seeing her like this. This wasn"t the Li Chuntao he was accustomed to, but what if it was a part of her she"d never shown him? Shouldn"t he accept it?
Shen Zichen wanted to ask her what was bothering her, tell her that whatever it was, everything would be alright, that he would be by her side and wouldn"t leave her alone again.
"What do you want to do after this is over?" He asked curiously.
Please go to to read the latest chapters for free