Little Wolf

Is it weird that even though he didn"t make a sound, I still heard every word he didn"t say? This was home, and to some part of me it always would be. I dropped the bag of childhood mementos at the bottom of my closet and headed outside.

"Did they approve of Tammy becoming an honorary member?" Mahina asked as I made my way over to her.

"They"re going to discuss it," I told her, not really wanting to get into it. "I told them regardless of what they decided, I would be calling her sister. She"s part of my pack, right?"

Mahina laughed. Dad looked at me like he wanted to crawl in my head and figure out what was happening with me.

Running Elk came around the corner of the house then.

"Hey Uncle Black Wolf. Any sodas left in the fridge?"

"Hang on, I"ll bring a few more out."

Running Elk sat down heavily next to me, knocking his shoulder against mine, then leaning against me.

"Hey Mahina," he said as he leaned forward slightly to wave at her.

"Hey Running Elk. What"s up?"

"I got to be a fly on the wall tonight. One of the best nights ever! You should have seen the look on Grandfather"s face! He..."

"What did you do, Little Wolf," asked Dad as he handed Running Elk a soda.

"He stood up to Grandfather! It was awesome,"

Running Elk started, full of enthusiasm for some reason.

I threw him a look. "Grandfather is an a.s.s...owww!"

"You will not speak about your mother"s father like that."

"I tried to update the council," I told him as I rubbed my head. Dad hadn"t held back. "Only the old ones knew. Auntie said..." I closed my eyes, the anger still eating at me. I couldn"t bring myself to repeat what Auntie had said about not having children, not in front of Mahina.

"Your mother always dealt with the council."

"Yeah, I think mom lied. She dealt with Grandfather, not the council. He hates me...us."

"He doesn"t hate you," Dad said. He didn"t say anything about himself. Nor did he say anything about my belief that mom had lied.

I looked at him, saw his slight shrug. I sighed.

"Little Sister was right, I don"t know anything."

Dad only sighed back at me, giving me a wry grin. He looked up with narrowed eyes when Uncle Two Feathers walked by, purposefully not looking our way.

"Still on lockdown?" I asked Running Elk.

"He"s just mad because I know. You should have seen the look on Grandfather"s face when he told me I didn"t understand and I told him I understood quite well, ever since I found my spirit guide."

We shared a look that helped heal the damage in my soul. Screw Grandfather. I still had family among the people.

"Still good cuz" we said at the same time, then busted out laughing.

"Best night ever, that one," said Running Elk, tilting his bottle in a salute toward my dad.

Dad gave a little nod of acknowledgment.

"Now I"m feeling totally lost," said Mahina.

"Maybe I"ll tell you about that night sometime. In the meantime, there is something I can tell you that will help. You remember that story I told you about Dad? It"s basically true, with one little catch. Everything I told you about me and Dad can be summed up in one word. It"s that one word that makes the difference. I..."

"Room for one more?" asked Anna from the back door.

I closed my eyes and took a breath. Anyone else plan on coming by to stop me from telling Mahina what she needed to know? I wanted to tell Anna to get lost. I no longer trusted her. However, I could smell Anna"s nervousness. I motioned her over.

"Did you know Anna used to babysit me? She"s got to be the oldest person to hang with the teens ever! She"s got, what, eight years on me? She was the only person Grandfather trusted to watch over me."

Anna had the good graces to look embarra.s.sed. She understood what I was insinuating, that the only reason she was here was because Grandfather had sent her.

She shook her head in a negative as she sat down. "Auntie was wrong to say what she did, Little Wolf. If anyone would know, I would. I loved your mother. She and I often talked. I"m glad you and Mahina are together."

"I"m beginning to wonder just what was said," Dad said as he looked between the three of us. I saw hidden anger in him. I think he might have heard the same things when he and Mom got married.

The one thing I knew for sure my mom never lied about was her desire to become a wolf and to have me. I"d have to guess she lied at least to me about Grandfather and the council in order to protect me from any tension between them. I had already figured out Grandfather had an att.i.tude about Dad.

I smiled slightly, feeling the love of family, the family that mattered. Both Running Elk and Anna knew about me. They accepted, approved, and looked forward to my future. I sighed again, playing with Mahina"s hand, giving Running Elk a nudge away from my other side.

He laughed, finally getting up and moving to the other side of the fire. Dad just gave us both his customary growl and headed back into the kitchen.

"So what happened?" asked Mahina.

"Grandfather happened," exclaimed Running Elk.

I couldn"t help grinning at the anger and frustration in Running Elk"s tone. It helped to know my anger had company, that I wasn"t just overreacting.

"Things weren"t what I thought is all. The council thinks I play at being wolf. They don"t understand how much the wolf is part of me. And it"s going to be a bigger part as time goes on. You remember what I said about my spirit guide, how tight the connection was?"

I waited for Mahina to nod, tightening her grip on my hand. I grinned at Running Elk, then looked at Anna.

"If all you"re going to do is run straight to Grandfather, you might as well leave now. I meant what I told the council. The wolf is no longer their concern.

"I"m not, "Anna said softly. "I came because they were wrong. You"re family, and it"s important to me that you know that.  Besides, Running Elk and I are part of the future council. Honestly, you should be too."

"No," I said thoughtfully, "that isn"t where my path leads anymore. I lead a different kind of tribe." I gave a slight chuckle as I brought Mahina"s hand up for a kiss. "I"m the pack"s alpha, right?"

I went on before she did more than look at me in exasperation.

"I"m serious. There are others like me. Some are really decent, family-oriented people. Then there are others that need help. They look to me for leadership and guidance; guidance I can give because of my connection to Spirit Wolf. It"s a very real thing, and forever part of my life now. To accept me is to accept that part of my life."

"No pressure," said Running Elk with a grin toward Mahina. "So how many others like you are there?"

"I don"t know. I see them in the mists of visions. Some I have met, others I will meet. Let"s see. Lone Wolf and the group he"s working with? There are," I did some quick math in my head, "seventeen there. Arctic has at least half a dozen, probably more."

"And they had twins?" asked Anna.

"A boy and a girl, babies, and mother doing fine. I met the dad. Businessman has a daughter and she has a group of guards, so at least another half dozen. There are others."

"Guards? Why guards?" asked Anna.

"The wolf will dance. Not like I dance with you," I said to Mahina with a smile. "Among my mother"s people, a wolf dance is a war dance. Most of the people like me are guys, which makes the women rare and special, to the point some guys will fight over them. It"s a new danger I recently discovered. It"s also one of the reasons I would be more than willing to do a wolf dance."

I paused, letting what I said sink into Running Elk and Anna. Dad was standing in the doorway. I wasn"t sure Mahina understood.

"This is going to sound odd," I said focusing on Mahina, "but it"s important. I"ve recently learned that oh, about fifteen years ago, there were three groups that fought over women too, uh, breed with them, uh, forcefully, you know? How do I not do everything I can to stop such abuse?

"See, they have the same genetic thing dad and I have, and it"s more than just the smelling ability. We can pa.s.s it on. Some of those like me are close-knit family groups. Protecting family kinda comes naturally. What we are does have it"s dangers, but it also has such beauty. That"s what mom loved most, the beauty."

I found my thumb moving along Mahina"s hand. Somehow I wasn"t sure what I was saying was coming outright. I"d probably have to go over it all again, filling in the information with stories. I was much better with stories than just relating facts.

Mahina gave my hand a tug, getting my attention and bringing my eyes up to her face. The look I shared with her held all my love for her. I knew she might not be able to accept everything, and that was ok. I did trust her to keep my secret, but I needed her to say she would.

"If it"s all too much for you, that"s ok. I will always care for you. I want you to know that. I will ask that you not share what I tell you with anyone else. It"s kind of a contradiction, me asking that. Just, if you feel a need to share it with someone, talk with me about it first. That"s all I"ll ask."

If she didn"t understand anything else, Mahina understood the seriousness of my request.

"Of course," she said nodding.

"Dad and I were both born as we are. Mom wasn"t. Dad... infected her, for lack of a better word, before I was born. It was something she wanted. She always said she got the council"s permission. I"m betting she lied out her.."

I changed what I was going to say when dad cleared his throat slightly from the doorway.

"I don"t think she had anyone"s permission, not even Grandfather"s. That"s why he hates, well, he doesn"t want to have anything to do with it. He"d rather I ignore what is within me. I can"t. If he could have felt the love Spirit Wolf has for his people..."

Mahina took her turn moving her thumb along my hand. "It"s a disease then?"

"Maybe, technically? But I"ve never looked at it that way. It enhances everything about the wolf in me. It added things about the wolf to mom. She loved what it did with her vision. She did her best carvings afterward. She also accepted the change to her system so her body wouldn"t reject a fetus. What is within me, well, it does raise some possible complications when it comes to having children. Not impossible, but not without risk. Auntie was right that you should be aware of that before we make any attempts at having children. I"m not saying you have to do what mom did, choosing what is in dad and I. It"s an option, not a necessity, I think. I don"t know. The arctic matriarch is probably the best one to talk to about having kids. It"d be interesting to visit with their tribe."

I stopped my contemplations and focused on Mahina again.

"So, are we at that point yet, where children should be a part of our conversation?"

"I thought we had already pa.s.sed that point," she answered with a gleam in her eyes, even as she blushed a bit.

I couldn"t help smiling as I leaned over to kiss her. When I pulled away from her lips, I moved my mouth to her ear.

"I really am a werewolf," I whispered.