"Sorry," Myron said, still trying to get through.
A big hand landed on Myron"s shoulder and spun him around. Someone pushed him hard from behind, nearly knocking him off his feet. Myron got his balance and faced what might have been an open audition for Jersey Sh.o.r.e: The Ten-Year Reunion Jersey Sh.o.r.e: The Ten-Year Reunion show. There was a blend of hair mousse and faux tans and plucked eyebrows and waxed chests and poser muscles. They had the tough-guy sneers, a strange look on those who primp and manscape to within an inch of their lives. Punching them in the face would hurt; messing up their hair would hurt even more. show. There was a blend of hair mousse and faux tans and plucked eyebrows and waxed chests and poser muscles. They had the tough-guy sneers, a strange look on those who primp and manscape to within an inch of their lives. Punching them in the face would hurt; messing up their hair would hurt even more.
There were four or five or maybe six of them-they tended to blur together into a ma.s.s of slippery unpleasantness and overbearing Axe cologne-and they were excited about the possibility of proving what men they were in defending the honor of some girl"s toe.
Still Myron was nothing if not diplomatic. "I"m sorry, guys," he said. "But this is an emergency."
One douchebag said, "Whoa, where"s the fire? You see a fire here, Vinny?"
Vinny: "Yeah, where"s the fire? Because I don"t see one. You see one, Slap?"
Before Slap could speak, Myron said, "Yeah, I get it. No fire. Look, again, I"m really sorry, but I"m in big hurry."
Still Slap had to get involved: "Nope, I don"t see no fire either."
No time for this. Myron started to move-d.a.m.n, no sign of Kitty-but the men closed ranks. Douchebag, with his hand still on Myron"s shoulder, went for the vise grip. "Say you"re sorry to Sandra."
"Uh, what part of "I"m really sorry" confused you?"
"To Sandra," he said again.
Myron turned to the girl who, judging by her dress and the company she kept, never got enough attention from her daddy. He shook his shoulder to dislodge the annoying hand. "I"m really sorry, Sandra."
He said this because it was the best course of action. Try to make peace and move on. But Myron knew. He could see it in the red in their faces, the wet in their eyes. The hormones were engaged now. So as he turned back toward the guy who"d first pushed him, Myron was not surprised to see a fist heading toward his face.
Fights normally last mere seconds-and those seconds are chockfull of three things: confusion, chaos, and panic. So when people see a fist heading toward them, they naturally overreact. They try to duck all the way down or fall all the way back. That was a mistake. If you lose your balance or lose sight of your adversary, you end up, of course, in more danger. Good fighters will often throw blows for just this reason-not necessarily to connect but to make the opponent put himself in a more vulnerable position.
So Myron"s move to avoid the blow was a slight one-only a few inches. His right hand was already up. You don"t have to knock the fist away hard with some big karate move. You just need to divert its course a little. That was what Myron did.
Myron"s goal here was simple: Put this guy down with a minimum of fuss or injury. Myron redirected the traveling fist and then, with the same hand already up, he put his index and middle finger together and snapped a dart blow right at the soft hollow of his attacker"s throat. The blow landed flush. Jerzie Boy made a gurgling sound. Both his hands instinctively flew to his throat, leaving him totally exposed. In a normal fight, if there was such a thing, this was where Myron would put him down for good. But that wasn"t what he wanted here. He wanted to get away.
So even before Myron could gauge his next shot, he started past the guy, trying to move swiftly away from the scene. But all avenues of escape were blocked now. The patrons at the crowded club had moved in closer, drawn by the smell of a fight and the base desire to see a fellow human being hurt or maimed.
Another hand reached out and grabbed his shoulder. Myron brushed it off. Someone dived for his legs, wrapping Myron up by the ankles, attempting a tackle. Myron bent his knees. He used one hand for balance on the floor. With the other, he tucked his fingers down and delivered a palm strike to the man"s nose. The man let go of Myron"s legs. The music stopped now. Someone screamed. Bodies began to topple.
This was not good.
Confusion, chaos, and panic. In a crowded nightclub, those things are both enhanced and ridiculously contagious. Someone nearby gets jostled and panics. He throws a punch. People back up. Spectators who"d been enjoying the relative safety of that pa.s.sive act realize that they are now in harm"s way. They begin to flee, crashing into others. Pandemonium.
Someone hit Myron in the back of the head. He spun. Someone hit him in the midsection. Myron"s hand instinctively whipped out and grabbed the man"s wrist. You can learn the best fighting techniques and be trained by the best, but there is no subst.i.tute for being born with amazing hand-eye coordination. As they used to say in his basketball days, "You can"t teach height." You also can"t really teach coordination or athleticism or compet.i.tive instinct either, try as parents might.
So Myron Bolitar, the superior athlete, was able to s.n.a.t.c.h a wrist mid-blow. He pulled the man toward him and using that momentum, threw a forearm into the man"s face.
The man went down.
More screams now. More panic. Myron turned, and in the rush of people, he saw the Maybe-Kitty by the door. He started toward her, but she vanished behind an onslaught of bouncers, including two of the guys who"d given Myron a hard time on the way in. The bouncers-and there were a lot of them now-headed straight toward Myron.
Uh-oh.
"Whoa, fellas, slow down here." Myron lifted his hands, showing that he had no intention of fighting them. As they drew closer, Myron kept his hands up. "Someone else started it."
One tried to get him in a full nelson, an amateur move if ever there was one. Myron calmly slipped out of it and said, "It"s over, okay? It"s-"
Three more bouncers tackled him hard. Myron hit the floor with a thud. One of the guys from out front climbed on top of him. Someone else kicked Myron"s legs. The guy on top of him tried to put his bloated forearm on Myron"s throat. Myron ducked his chin, blocking it. The guy tried harder, moving his face close enough for Myron to smell the guy"s stale hot-dog breath. Another kick. The face came closer. Myron rolled hard, catching the guy"s face with his elbow. The man cursed and backed off.
As Myron started to rise, he felt something hard and metallic push against the bottom of his rib cage. He had a tenth of a second, maybe two, to wonder what it was. Then Myron"s heart exploded.
At least, that was what it felt like. It felt like something in his chest had just gone boom, like someone had placed live wires on every nerve ending, sending his parasympathetic system into total spasm. His legs turned to water. His arms dropped away, unable to offer up the least bit of resistance.
A stun gun.
Myron dropped like a fish on a dock. He looked up and saw Kleavage Kyle grinning down at him. Kyle released the trigger. The pain stopped, but only for a second. With his fellow bouncers surrounding him so no one in the club could see, Kyle dug the stun gun back into Myron"s lower rib cage and zapped him again. Myron"s scream was m.u.f.fled by a hand closing over his mouth.
"Two million volts," Kyle whispered.
Myron knew something about stun guns and Tasers. You are only supposed to hold the trigger for a few seconds, no more, so as to incapacitate but not seriously injure. But Kyle, maniacal smile on high, did not let up. He kept the trigger pressed down. The pain increased, became overwhelming. Myron"s whole body started to quake and buck. Kyle kept his finger on the trigger. Even one of the bouncers said, "Uh, Kyle?" But Kyle held on until Myron"s eyes rolled back and there was blackness.
6.
What must have been seconds later, Myron felt someone pick him up and carry him fireman-style over a shoulder. His eyes remained closed, his body limp. He was on the cusp of unconsciousness, but he was still aware of where he was, what was happening to him. His nerve endings were shot. He felt exhausted and shaky. The man carrying him was big and muscular. He heard the club music start up again and a voice over the sound system shouted, "Okay, folks, the freak show is ovah! Let"s get back to the par-tay!"
Myron remained still, letting the man carry him. He didn"t resist. He used the time to regroup, recover, start to plan. A door opened and closed, smothering the music. Myron could feel the brighter light through his closed eyes.
The big man carrying him said, "We should just toss him outside now, right, Kyle? I think he"s had enough, don"t you?"
It was the same voice that said, "Uh, Kyle," when Myron had been getting zapped. The voice had just a lilt of fear in it. Myron did not like that.
Kyle said, "Put him down, Brian."
Brian did so with surprising gentleness. Lying on the cold floor, his eyes not yet opened, Myron did some quick calculating and knew what his next steps were: Keep your eyes closed, pretend you"ve totally blacked out-and then slowly start snaking your hand toward the BlackBerry device in your pocket.
Back in the nineties, when cell phones were just starting to become the norm, Myron and Win had developed a techno-savvy and occasionally life-saving mode of communication: When one or the other of them was in trouble (read: Myron), he would hit his speed-dial #1 b.u.t.ton on his cell phone and the other (read: Win) would pick up, put the phone on mute, and listen in or rush to or at least help the other. At the time, fifteen years ago, this trick had been cutting edge; today it was about as cutting edge as a Betamax.
That meant, of course, taking it to the next level. Now, with modern breakthroughs, Myron and Win could have each other"s back in a much more efficient way. One of Win"s tech experts had enhanced their BlackBerrys so that they had a special two-way satellite radio that worked even in spots where there was no cell service, as well as both audio and visual recording devices, and a GPS tracker so that one knew exactly where the other was, within four feet, at any given moment-all of which could be activated anytime with the push of a b.u.t.ton.
Ergo the snaking hand heading toward the BlackBerry in his pocket. With his eyes closed, he faked a groan so he could roll just enough to get his hand closer to the pocket. . . .
"Looking for this?"
It was Kleavage Kyle. Myron blinked open his eyes. The floor of the room was Formica and maroon. The walls too were maroon. There was one table with what looked liked a box of Kleenex on it. No other furniture. Myron turned his gaze toward Kyle. Kyle was grinning.
He was also holding up Myron"s BlackBerry.
"Thanks," Myron said. "I was looking for that. You can just toss it over here."
"Oh, I don"t think so."
There were three other bouncers in the room, all with shaved heads, all steroid-and-too-much-gym huge. Myron spotted one who looked a little frightened and figured that had been his carrier, so to speak. The frightened guy said, "I better head back out to the front, make sure everything is okay."
Kyle said, "You do that, Brian."
"Seriously, his friend, that hot chick wrestler, knows he"s here."
"Don"t worry about her," Kyle said.
"I would," Myron said.
"Excuse me?"
Myron tried to sit up. "You don"t watch much TV, do you, Kyle? You know that part of the show where they triangulate the cell phone signal and find the guy? Well, that"s what"s happening here. I don"t know how much longer it will take but-"
Holding the BlackBerry up, his expression two steps past smug, Kyle hit the off b.u.t.ton and watched the device power down. "You were saying?"
Myron did not reply. Frightened Big Guy left.
"First," Kyle said, tossing Myron back his wallet, "please escort Mr. Bolitar from the premises. We request that you never return."
"Even if I promise not to wear a shirt?"
"My two men will escort you out the back entrance."
This was a curious development-letting him go. Myron decided to play it out, see if it was going to be this easy. He was, to put it kindly, skeptical. The two men helped lift Myron to his feet. "What about my BlackBerry?"
"You can have it back when you exit the premises," Kyle said.
One man held Myron"s right arm, the other the left. They led him into the corridor. Kyle followed, closing the door behind them. When they were all out of the room, Kyle said, "Okay, good, that should do it. Bring him back in."
Myron frowned. Kyle opened the same door again. The two men gripped Myron harder and started dragging him back into the room. When Myron resisted, Kyle showed him the stun gun. "You want another two million volts?"
Myron did not. He moved back to the maroon room. "What was that all about?"
"That part was for show," Kyle said. "Please move to the far corner." When Myron didn"t obey immediately, he flashed the stun gun. Myron inched backward, not turning his back on Kyle. There was a small table by the door. Kyle and the two bouncers moved toward it. They reached into what looked like a box of tissues and pulled out surgical gloves. Myron watched them slip the gloves onto their hands.
"Let me just state for the record," Myron said, "that I"m getting a little turned on by the rubber gloves. Will this involve my bending over?"
"Defense mechanism," Kyle said, snapping the gloves on with a little too much zeal.
"What?"
"You use humor as a defense mechanism. The more frightened you are, the more your mouth flaps."
Bouncer-c.u.m-therapist, Myron thought, perhaps proving the man"s point.
"So let me explain the situation so even you"ll understand," Kyle said in a singsong tone. "We call this the beating room. Hence the maroon color. The blood blends in, as you will soon see."
Kyle stopped and smiled. Myron kept still.
"We just videotaped you leaving this room under your own volition. As you may have guessed, the camera is now off. So that"s the official record-you leaving of your own accord, relatively unharmed. We also have witnesses who will state that you a.s.saulted them, that our response was proportional to the threat you posed, that you initiated the ruckus. We have longtime club patrons and employees who will pretty much sign any statement we put in front of them. No one will back up any claim you have. Any questions?"
"Just one," Myron said. "Did you really use the word "ruckus"?"
Kyle stayed with the grin. "Defense mechanism," he said again.
The three men spread out, fists tightened, muscles at the ready. Myron moved a little farther into the corner.
"So what"s your plan here, Kyle?" Myron asked.
"It"s pretty simple, Myron. We are going to hurt you. How badly depends on how much you resist. At best, you"re going to end up hospitalized. You will be p.i.s.sing blood for a while. We may break a bone or two. But you will live and probably recover. If you resist, I will use the stun gun to paralyze you. It will be very painful. And then your beating will be longer and more savage. Am I making myself clear?"
They started to inch closer. Their hands flexed. One cracked his neck. Kleavage Kyle actually took off his jacket. "I don"t want to get it dirty," he explained. "What with the blood stains and all."
Myron pointed lower. "What about your pants?"
Kyle was topless now. He did that flex thing where you make your pecs dance. "Don"t worry about them."
"Oh, but I do," Myron said.
Then, as the men inched closer, Myron smiled and crossed his arms. The move made the men pause. Then Myron said, "Did I tell you about my new BlackBerry? The GPS feature? The two-way satellite radio? It all works when you press one b.u.t.ton."
"Your BlackBerry," Kyle said, "is off."
Myron shook his head and made a buzzing noise as though he had heard the wrong answer on a game show. Win"s voice came from the BlackBerry"s tinny speaker: "No, Kyle, I"m afraid it"s not."
The three men stopped.
"So let me explain the situation," Myron said, doing his best Kyle singsong, "so even you"ll understand. The b.u.t.ton you have to press to activate all the newfangled features? You guessed it: It"s the off b.u.t.ton. In short, everything that"s been said has been recorded. Plus the GPS is on. How far away are you, Win?"
"Heading through the club entrance now. I also activated the three-way caller. Esperanza"s on the line on mute. Esperanza?"
The mute b.u.t.ton was clicked off. The club music came through the phone speaker. Esperanza said, "I"m by the side door where they dragged Myron out. Oh, and guess what? I found an old friend here, a police officer named Roland Dimonte. Say hi to my friend Kyle, Rolly."
The male voice said, "I better see Bolitar"s ugly, untouched mug out here in thirty seconds, a.s.swipe."
It took more like twenty.
"It might not have been her," Myron said.
It was two A.M. by the time Myron and Win got back to the Dakota. They sat in a room rich people called "a study," with Louis the Something wood furniture and marble busts and a large antique globe and bookshelves with leather-bound first editions. Myron sat in a burgundy chair with gold b.u.t.tons on the arm. By the time things had calmed down at the club, Kitty had vanished, if she"d ever been there in the first place. Lex and Buzz had cleared out too.