"Show. Me."
"Fine. Whatever." She thrust out her hand, and Madoc actually flinched away before he caught himself. He didn"t touch her. He leaned over her palm to inspect the damage.
"f.u.c.k," he snarled. "Now we have to get you patched up."
"Not until I"m finished here."
"Oh, you"re finished. Those bones can wait."
"Why? Are you afraid to fight the things my blood will draw?"
His green eyes narrowed. "I"m not afraid of anything, little girl."
Just to prove he was wrong, she reached for him. Madoc lurched backward, nearly falling on his b.u.t.t to avoid her.
"Except me, apparently."
"Don"t touch me," he snapped.
Nika ignored him and kept walking toward Tori"s grave. "You"re going to have a hard time stopping me if you"re afraid to touch me," she said over her shoulder.
She heard him mutter a caustic curse before she felt him getting closer.
He stepped into her path, his mouth tight with determination. "We"re doing this my way."
Nika lifted a brow. "Not unless you make me."
"You really shouldn"t push me. You won"t like what happens."
"How do you know?" she asked. "You won"t stick around long enough to have any idea about what I like or don"t."
"I"m protecting you from yourself."
Nika rolled her eyes. "My hero."
"I"m serious."
"So am I. I"m digging up those bones with or without your help."
Rather than argue, Madoc simply leaned down until his shoulder was level with her stomach, reached behind her to steady her body, and stood up, flipping her over his back.
Her head swam with the sudden movement, and she had to grab onto his shirt to steady herself. "What are you doing?"
"Putting you in my truck. Taking you home where you belonga"where you"re d.a.m.n well going to stay."
His pace was steady over the cold ground; each heavy tread of his booted feet pressed his shoulder into her stomach. "You"re making me sick."
"Better than dead."
"Put me down." She wanted to pound at his back, but knew it would do nothing but wear her out even more.
"Nope." With a powerful movement, he hefted them both over the low metal fence surrounding the cemetery.
Nika could hear an engine running nearby. She was almost out of time. "Will you at least listen to me?"
"Talk all you want. It won"t change anything."
Madoc shifted her weight and set her on the bench seat of the truck. Another moment of dizziness distracted her, but she"d fought through worse. "I need those bones. I need proof that Tori is alive."
"Not my problem."
"If you take me back, I"m just going to leave again."
"Maybe by then it"ll be warmer." He climbed up into the truck, crowding her so she had to move over to make room for him.
"You really don"t care, do you? You don"t care that Tori is out there suffering."
"All I care about is getting you home and getting back to the nest I"d planned on clearing out before I was so rudely interrupted." He reached past her, under the seat, pulled out a first-aid kit, and flung it open.
He tore open a small antiseptic wipe with his teeth, spitting the top of the foil envelope onto the floorboard. "Give me your hand."
At least he was willing to touch her now. Not like she wanted. Not like she"d dreamed about, but it was something. A start, at least. She could work with that.
Nika put her hand out and the sleeve of his black jacket flopped over her fingers. He pushed it up and dabbed at the sc.r.a.pe on her hand. The ugly, matte black ring he wore brushed her thumb, making it go cold, but she refused to complain.
"See. It"s not bad," she said.
"Blood is still blood. I"ll call Tynan and see if he can meet us."
"No. I don"t want him anywhere near me. I"m sick of doctors."
"That leech is hardly a doctor, and you should have thought of that before you left Dabyr."
"Just cover it up. It"s not even really bleeding anymore."
Madoc ignored her, pulled out his cell phone, and dialed. "Where are you?" he demanded.
Tinny words she couldn"t make out came through the phone.
"Nika"s hurt," said Madoc. "Can you meet us?"
Nika grabbed for the phone, but Madoc leaned away, evading her grasp.
"Of course it"s serious. She"s f.u.c.king bleeding."
"It"s not serious," yelled Nika, hoping she"d be heard.
Madoc shot her a warning glare. "Yeah. I know the place. We"ll be there." He slid the phone back onto his belt, put the truck in gear, and pulled out of the small parking area.
"Buckle up," he told her. "And don"t even think about trying anything stupid. I"ve got a roll of duct tape in back, and I swear to G.o.d that if you make me use it, we"ll both regret it."
Nika pulled the lap belt around her hips, refusing to move over to the far side of the cab. It was warm next to Madoc, and despite his jacket, she was still shivering from her exposure to the cold.
"Why do you have to act like such a jerk?" she asked.
He turned the heat up full blast and pointed the vents toward her. "It"s not an act. If you don"t like it, stay the h.e.l.l away."
The heat began to sink into her, but it only made the shivering worse. Muscles not used to so much physical effort clenched up, rebelling at their abuse. "Where are we going?"
"Tynan is too far away. He"s sending Connal to meet us."
"No. I don"t know him. I don"t want him to touch me."
Madoc shifted in his seat, inching away from her. "d.a.m.n it, Nika! You went and hurt yourself. I don"t know s.h.i.t about patching people up. The best I could do would be to slap a strip of duct tape over it. That"s not good enough."
"Actually, that would be perfect. Not only would it stop the bleeding; it would also keep me from getting more blisters."
"You"re not going back there to dig up those bones, and that"s final."
"I thought you, of all people, would listen to me."
"Why? Because I"m so f.u.c.king sensitive?"
"No, because you know I"m not crazy."
"No, I don"t. Standing out in the cold in the middle of the night in a cemetery, alone and unarmed, is pretty f.u.c.king crazy."
"I need those bones. Please." She put her hand on his arm, and because he was driving, he couldn"t flinch away. She felt the thick muscles below her hand twitch as though he wanted to, but she knew he wouldn"t risk crashing the car.
A weary sigh filled the silence. "Why, Nika? Why are those bones so important?"
"Because they prove Tori is still alive."
"No. Even if those aren"t her bones, all that proves is that we haven"t found her body yet. Do you really want to do that to Andra? Do you really want to take away what little bit of peace she found by burying Tori?"
"You don"t understand. Tori is still alive. I can feel her. Rescuing her will make Andra feel a lot better than any fake funeral ever could."
"You can"t know she"s alive."
"I do. We"re connected. She"s getting weaker, but I can still feel her inside me. I can still feel her suffering."
He shook his head. "This is crazy. You need to let it go or you"re going to get yourself killed."
"So what? You"ve made it clear you don"t care about me one way or another."
The truck lurched to the right, screaming to a sudden stop. Madoc slammed the gearshift into park and turned to face her.
"You have no f.u.c.king clue what you"re talking about. I"ve spent every spare moment since I met you hunting the sgath for you, trying to free that f.u.c.ked-up mind of yours. That counts. I may be dead inside, but d.a.m.n it, that counts."
The pain radiating out from him shocked her. She"d always thought of him as invincible. Clearly, even he could hurt.
Nika reached up and pressed her hand against his cheek. Beard stubble tickled her fingers. His jaw clenched, but he didn"t pull away.
"You"re not dead inside. Why would you think that?" she asked.
His mouth tightened in anger and his eyes closed. A deep breath filled his chest, lifting his shoulders. She could feel him struggling to regain control.
In a carefully modulated tone, he said, "Forget I said anything. I"m fine."
It was a lie. She could feel the taint of it staining his words, which meant he wasn"t fine.
Panic exploded inside Nika. She couldn"t let anything happen to him. He was too importanta"not just to her, but to everyone else, too. "What"s wrong with you?"
"I"m an incurable a.s.shole. That"s all." With that, he turned back to the road, pulling away from her touch, and merged onto the street.
Nika sat back, her mind reeling. He was lying about being fine, which meant something was wrong. Seriously wrong.
Whatever it was, Nika had to figure out what it was and fix it. She needed Madoc too much to lose him. Without him, she was destined to go back to the way she used to bea"unable to control the pull of the Synestryn on her mind, unable to resist being sucked into their world of blood and pain and death.
She couldn"t let that happen. Not again. One way or another, she was going to figure out what was wrong and find someone who could fix it.
Chapter 3.
Connal was already waiting for them when they pulled into the Gerai house. Madoc had been here beforea"the night they"d taken Nika from the mental hospital. The human doctors had done nothing to help her, and had actually allowed her to fool their minds into thinking she was fine when she was wasting away, unable to eat.
Madoc had known the moment he saw her that she was going to be trouble; he just never suspected how much. He hadn"t had a moment"s peace since meeting hera"not that he really deserved any. Still, he sometimes wondered what his life would have been like if he"d never met her.
He"d be dead already. He knew better than to fool himself into thinking otherwise. He wouldn"t have had a reason to live. He would have given in to the pull to remove that frigid black ring, let go of the last sliver of his soul, and be set free. His brothers would have found him and killed him, but not before he"d done some serious damage to them in return.
Who knew how many lives Nika had saved by giving him a reason to hang on? Of course, once he freed her mind and killed the last sgath, that reason would be gone.
Madoc really needed to die before that happened. He needed to give up and let goa"dive headfirst into a nest of Synestryn and take out as many as he could before they killed him.
The problem was the timing. If he went to his death too soon, Nika"s head would still be f.u.c.ked-up. If he waited too long, people he was supposed to care about would die.
Better to err on the side of caution while he still had enough control over his actions to do so.
It was time to let go. Hand over to another Theronai his quest to kill every last sgath. It wasn"t like he was the only one who could kill the f.u.c.kers. There was nothing special about him. He was just one more sword arm, one more warrior.
They didn"t need him; they needed him dead before he could hurt anyone. Especially Nika.
"I remember this house," said Nika.