Living to Suffer

II

Ch’in Ching, courtesy nameHengsu,was anything but proper and serious. As he bandaged Shen Liangsheng’s wounds,he exchanged names with the man. As soon as he heard his patient’s name, he snickered,“A bowl of cold water, born at the wrong time.What an auspicious name.”

ShenLiangsheng did not respond and let the man apply medicine all over his body. Heknew his external injuries were not urgent, but the internal ones would take atleast a month’s rest and even longer for his powers to return completely. Thedate was approaching, and the sect was in need of manpower – how troublesome.

“Yourpathways have been greatly damaged, and it is of utmost importance that we restoreand strengthen your core.” Ch’in Ching stuffed the riot of jars and bottlesback into a case. “If you focus on rehabilitation for forty, fifty days, youmay well recover eight-tenths of your former ability. The remaining two-tenths,however –”

Ch’inChing noticed Shen Liangsheng’s unwavering gaze on him and a.s.sumed the man wasthinking that the recuperation time he prescribed was too lengthy, so he shookhis head and began to explain. “This is not something to rush through. I wouldbe lying if I said there were no ways to help you recover your power morequickly, but those methods will leave residual problems for you a few years inthe future, and I do not want to use them. You are still young with a long lifeahead of you. It’s not worth it.”

“Youare a good doctor.” Although Shen Liangsheng did not feel grat.i.tude, hisstatement was sincere. But then again, when he occasionally came across aworthy opponent, he would also sincerely say, “your instruction was veryvaluable” as he sheathed his sword and the adversary fell once again into thecycle of reincarnation. Therefore even his sincere compliments were not themost auspicious signs.

“Thatis very kind of you.” Ch’in Ching walked to the shelf and picked out a celadon bottle.“As I was saying, the remaining two-tenths…” He walked to the table and poureda cup of water before saying forthrightly, “I a.n.a.lyzed your pulse earlier andfound that I had been careless. The mantra that you practise is so unusual thatI’m certain I cannot help you. With those remaining two-tenths, you are on yourown.” Taking the bottle and cup to the bed, he tipped out two red pills andhanded them to Shen Liangsheng. “To be taken orally.”

ShenLiangsheng did not take the pills but merely continued to stare at Ch’in Ching,making no effort to disguise the query in his eyes. Although the Five Skandhas wasa hidden gem of the sect that only the hufacould practise, the chianghuwas not unaware of its existence. If this Ch’in-taifu had caught thiscrucial detail and was still willing to help, then it was not a simple matterof kindness.

Despitehis patient’s unresponsiveness, Ch’in Ching was not at a loss. He grabbed ShenLiangsheng’s hand and thrust the pills into it. “Only you and I are in thiss.p.a.ce; not another soul. Certainly on our way here you have seen the obscurityof this location. Also, considering the protective circles placed here, it isnot a place one can simply visit. I have given my word to save you, so Inaturally have no intention to harm you. I am a doctor, and you my patient, endof story. It is late now. You are free to stay or leave as you wish.”

Withthat said, he returned to the table and poured himself a cup of water. The dullache in his chest seemed to abate after he gulped down the liquid.

Inreality, however, Ch’in Ching knew that the pain did not exist, and that it wasmerely a figment of his imagination when he thought of the predestined outcomeof this game.

After moments of silence, Shen Liangsheng inquiredcoolly, “What is it you desire?”

Ch’inChing turned around and arched a brow. “In return for saving your life,naturally your devotion, body and soul.”

Ch’in Ching was hardlya wicked man, yet amongst the good he was a rogue. He was quite fond of gamblingand lewdness – particularly the latter. Whenever he came across an attractiveperson, he could not resist trying to press his advantage using provocativelanguage, regardless of gender. Although he did not have the guts to actuallydo anything, and this man before him was not someone he could afford to offend,he would not be the bawdy Ch’in-taifuif he did not seize the opportunity when it was handed to him on a silverplatter.

“Youare a doctor, and I your patient, end of story?” The same utterance coming backagain as a question in Shen Liangsheng’s calm voice sounded a bit sarcastic toCh’in Ching’s ears. The man must have been mocking the doctor for losing sightof his promise as a medical pract.i.tioner almost immediately after declaring it.

With apuckered face Ch’in Ching sighed inwardly as he looked at Shen-hufa lying in bed. This mister surelywas distant and quiet but was also very clever with his tongue. Pity that sucha pretty face could not belong to a pristine beauty.

Saying no more, Shen Liangsheng swallowed the pills andwent to sleep fully clothed. His instinct told him this man would have arequest for him sooner or later. That he did not say it now meant there wasroom for future negotiation. One favour in return for another – deals were the mosttrustworthy method of interaction.

Threedays pa.s.sed by the time he woke again. The medicine prescribed by Ch’in Chingwas efficacious– his core was strengthened and his ch’i flowed un.o.bstructed through his pathways. Even the externalapplication of medicine was very effective – nearly all his wounds had scabbedafter merely three days, and perhaps they would be completely healed in a fewmore.

“How do you feel? Can you walk?” Ch’in Ching knew thepotency of his own prescription and correctly estimated the time to check in onhis patient. Incidentally, Shen Liangsheng was slipping on an outer robe andleaving the bed.

“Thankyou. The external injuries are of no concern now.”

“Forthe next month, you are to bathe in the medicinal spring for four hours everyother day. This way.”

Ch’inChing led the man out from the hut and through a complex pathway of twists andturns. They finally arrived at a pool shrouded in light mist that carried afresh, bitter herbal fragrance. Without reticence – it could be said that thereexisted no reticence between two grown men – Shen Liangsheng stripped naked andsank into the warm pool.

Ch’inChing’s attention was not on the man but rather the blood-stained clothes onthe ground. He suggested nicely, “You can throw them out if they are not worthmuch. If you want to keep them, you must wash them yourself.”

“As youplease.”

Ch’inChing picked up the clothes and took a few steps before turning back. Heremembered that the man had not washed all this time. “I will get the soap barso you can clean your hair, too.”

WhenCh’in Ching returned with the cleaning supplies, he found a senseless ShenLiangsheng sitting in the pool, eyes closed, seemingly asleep again.

“Thisspring might not be the best with the hot weather. You can come in the eveningnext time.”

ShenLiangsheng did not reply, and Ch’in Ching continued by himself. “You should notactually fall asleep. The water is not deep, but karma might just let you drown.”

“…”

“I willleave these here. Surely, you know how to wash your hair?”

“…”

“Shen-hufa, oh Shen-hufa, I am Ch’in-taifu,not Ch’in-laoma….”Ch’in Ching heaved a defeated sigh. “So this is what it means to command withsilence.”

In reality, Shen Liangsheng was not trying to oppressthe doctor but was concentrating on his mantra and ch’i.

Accordingto the Heart Sūtra,the five skandhas are empty. In the void there are no forms and no feelings,conceptions, impulses and no consciousness; there is no eye, ear, nose, tongue,body or mind; there is no colour, sound, smell, taste, touch or idea.

But themantra dictated the exact opposite. It sought to create form out of the void, generatingan endless flow of ch’i whileheightening the senses to the surroundings.

He felthis hairpin gently being removed and his strands falling loose.

Ch’in Ching removed Shen Liangsheng’s hairpin, lettingloose the strands. Dipping a wooden scoop into the hot water, he poured it overthe man’s head.

Thedark strands snaked down like swimming ink.

– felt fingers combing through his hair and untanglingeach and every knot.

Shen Liangsheng had bled so much that day that the bloodhad soaked his hair and formed a sticky clot. Melting now in the warm water, itflowed in faint rouge tendrils into the pool.

Ch’inChing’s eyes chased after the tendrils that quickly dissolved into a sheer veilover the soft ripples. Beneath the veil was the naked body of one who practisedmartial arts year-round, and on the body were several gashes whose scabs wereso gnarled they appeared alive – a coiled crimson python whose head rested onthe man’s chest right above a nipple. Hissing, its forked tongue darted backand forth sliding over the nub.

– felt those hands brushing his hair and rubbing hisscalp and nape, firmly at times and nimbly at others, the pattern of which was…unpredictable.

The sunlight beamed down through the water as though itwere nonexistent. As Ch’in Ching’s gaze drifted lower, it came upon an un.o.bstructedview of the manhood lying dormant between casually splayed legs. Any evocativefantasies he might have entertained were deterred by the overly artless image.

Ch’inChing retracted his eyes and decided to stare only at Shen Liangsheng’s facewhile he focused on the work in his hands.

Flowingbrows and eyes. Straight nose and thin lips. Cold like the tundra after a snow.Sharp like the icicles hanging off pines. It was not a fiendish complexion, butthe malice was strong.

Also…Ch’in Ching averted his gaze, not even daring to look at the man’s face now. Hewondered how it was possible for a naked man to still look so chaste andabstinent.

And itmust be noted that the more forbidden…the more delicious the fruit.

– felt the heat from the water seep into his bodyfilling him with a subdued, feather-light numbness. The medicinal smell wasthickening, but there were another distinct strain in the air. The herbal scentcoming from a certain someone approached like a faint shadow treading throughthe fog, edging closer and closer.

Casting his gaze down towards his own nose and heart,Ch’in Ching was determined not to let it wander any further.

But nomatter where his eyes were pointed, the slippery strands of hair between hisfingers were like an inescapable net in which a fish was writhing andstruggling…. Letting go in a panic, Ch’in Ching stumbled back. His awakening erectionrubbed against his undergarment like a fish in a net – in pain whether the netwas tight or not.

Butbecause death was inevitable, staying alive in the water for a moment longeronly meant more suffering.

– and felt the hands suddenly leaving as thesilhouette that had almost revealed itself instead slipped back into the fog,never to be seen.

“A change of clothes is on the ledge. You can come upyourself when you’ve completed the session.”

Clearinghis throat, Ch’in Ching turned and left Shen Liangsheng alone in the pool. Afterrunning his ch’i through his bodyonce, he slowly opened his eyes.

Hair,huh… A rare, trivial thought ran through his mind as he took a strand betweenhis fingers.

Hairwas essentially useless. No pain came from cutting it; it would recover itslength if left to grow. But sometimes it was versatile, as the thread used in hsüan-ssudiagnosis.

Out ofthe many distractions of the mind, only the flames of l.u.s.t could not beconcealed, and if one attempted to, it would only burn more fiercely.