Living to Suffer

III

Time seemed not to touch the mountains, and a monthpa.s.sed in the blink of an eye. With his injuries largely healed, ShenLiangsheng set off on his journey back to the sect. Before leaving, he removedhis hufa pa.s.s from his belt. The pa.s.swas made of a yin piece and a yang piece, and he gave Ch’in Ching the yin pieceas the token for their future negotiation.

Thedoctor acted rather formally this time because of the forbidden notions that heharboured. He hid all the smiles and laughs, all the quips and remarks, and bidthe man farewell. “While I will not see you out, Shen-hufa, I wish you a safe journey ahead.”

With Shen Liangsheng gone, Ch’in Ching was alone againin his little hut in the mountains, but phantoms of the man seemed to lingerall around.

When heate alone at the table, he would recall that he could not help but pay specialattention to the man’s hands whenever they shared a meal.

ShenLiangsheng had skin paler than usual. His fingers were long and slender withoutprotruding knuckles. The calluses that should belong to a swordsman were notdiscernible, but with one look anybody would be able to tell that the handsbelonged to a martial arts pract.i.tioner, one who had the power to decapitatemen with his bare hands. A few times he became so engrossed that his gaze followedhand, chopsticks and food up to the man’s lips. He saw the lips part and thefood being carefully chewed and swallowed, but he was under the impression thatthe man did not give a second thought as to whether it was fish and meat enteringhis mouth or tofu and greens and that the man could not distinguish betweenthem, either.

Perhapsa meal was nothing more than ingesting food to the man.

“Yes?”One time Ch’in Ching’s gaze lingered a moment too long, provoking ShenLiangsheng to question. The man’s voice carried no discontent, but it was morethan enough to bring Ch’in Ching back to reality.

“Nothing.It shames me as a host that the food is so monotonous.” Ch’in Ching wore apolite smile but was secretly wondering what his mouth would taste like.

“It isof no concern.”

Itlikely had no taste at all, Ch’in Ching thought while smiling. The man probablycould not taste all the flavours of life.

Sometimes when Ch’in Ching sat by the window with a bookand a pot of fine tea, he would still see the man practising his sword in thecourtyard.

Generallyspeaking, Ch’in Ching should give the man privacy, for not every swordsman waswilling to let outsiders observe his techniques. Shen Liangsheng, however, didnot seem to mind the doctor’s observance of his every stance, every strike. Attimes relaxed, at other times swift, the moves did not carry the man’s core ch’i or the intent to kill, but theessence of the sword was evident.

Morethan two centuries had pa.s.sed since the HsingSect shook the chianghu withapocalyptic carnage, and the event had nearly become a legend. Two hundred years later, the Hsing Sect hadnot waged another war, but the mere mention of its name struck fear into theheart of every person in the chianghu.The horror of the incident was apparent.

ShenLiangsheng likely was practising merely to pa.s.s the time and thus did not displaythe unearthly ability to force a dozen sects into extinction that a hufa of the demonic sect was fabled tohave. All that could be perceived was his dancing sword and flowing charm.

Normallyafter watching for a while, Ch’in Ching would look back down at his book,lamenting. Nature’s creations were beautiful and mysterious, but no matter how awe-inspiringthis man was, he was nothing more than a demonic weapon of the Hsing Sect.Rumour had it that the hufa of theHsing Sect all reached a state of selflessness, abandoning all sense of selfand mortal greed, and obeyed only the sect leader’s commands – if they were toldto kill a thousand men, they would not rest until all one thousand souls had lefttheir fleshly vessels. Ch’in Ching now judged the rumour to be true.

The yin pa.s.s that Shen Liangsheng left behind wasinitially also used by Ch’in Ching as a belt accessory. Its material was mostpeculiar. Neither stone nor metal, it was as cold as ice, and Ch’in Ching couldfeel its temperature even through two layers of clothing.

Late onone hot summer night, Ch’in Ching stuck the pa.s.s under his bamboo pillow. Rollingonto his side with one cheek against the pillow, he fell asleep quite easilywith the indistinct coolness exuded by the pa.s.s.

Perhapshe should not have brought the man’s intimate possessionto bed. That night, Ch’in Ching had a sensual dream.

When hewoke in the middle of the night, his undergarments were wet with sweat andclung to his skin. The member between his legs was still hard and his bodyburning.

Unableto hold back, he reached underneath the pillow for the pa.s.s, its icy touch makingthe heat within him seem even more unbearable.

Closinghis eyes and tightening his grip on the pa.s.s, Ch’in Ching slowly brought it tohis collarbone as a shiver ran through him. In the dark room, an odd smilefound its way to his face.

Hisfingers pushed the pa.s.s down over his shirt to a spot on the chest slightly tothe right. Under the chilliness, his right nipple began to perk up withouthaving been stimulated.

On thefront face of the pa.s.s was a yenwei,the creature depicted in the Shan-haiChingas having the body of a snake and the head of a human. He who lays eyes upon the creature shall dominate the realm. Ch’inChing wondered delightedly if Shen-hufa­would still be able to keep that emotionless, impa.s.sive expression of his afterfinding out he was using his hufapa.s.s to do this.

Thepa.s.s was rectangular, and its edges were polished to a blade-like point. Alittle absentmindedly, Ch’in Ching began toying with the nipple through hiscotton undershirt using a corner of the pa.s.s. A slightly stronger move of thewrist brought a light p.r.i.c.k like that of a knife, but because of thesensitivity of the location, he gladly welcomed the pain.

Hisgroin had already been frustratingly swollen, and now with the pleasure fromthe nipple being played with, the sprightly member jerked in Ch’in Ching’spants as though it were trying to push its way out of its constraints. The headpoked at the thin cotton, wetting it with the juices leaking out of the hole.The fluid seeped into the cloth and felt slightly damp on Ch’in Ching’s skin.

Hisfingers slid the pa.s.s down to his crotch, pressing the face with the carvingagainst it. He applied more force to his fingertips and pushed the designs ofthe pa.s.s against the sac hanging below his erection, bringing on anindescribable, sinful sensation.

He thenslid the pa.s.s up over the sac slowly rubbing it on his member on its way up. Overhis underpants, the sensation felt vague and flirtatious and only made him moreanxious. More and more juices spewed from his member, completely wetting thepatch of cloth near the head. Wiggling around, Ch’in Ching eased his underpantsdown, and the head of his member leapt out from under the cloth to stickclosely to his abdomen.

A suddengust of wind blew across the cloudy night sky, letting a ray of moonlight intothe dark room to illuminate more of the scene on the bed. Ch’in Ching keptrubbing the carvings on the pa.s.s against his member as if he had fallen in lovewith this vague and flirtatious sensation. The yin pa.s.s was eerily cold and hismember fiery hot. The coolness slipped through the cotton and wrapped itselfaround the burning rod just as the lily-white, strong, slender fingers of theman might. Closing his eyes, Ch’in Ching imagined the pair of cold, heartlesshands that had committed the most heinous, most sinful crimes taking a firmhold on his member and stroking it. A soft moan escaped his lips.

Thesound was rather audible in the quietude of night. Opening his eyes, Ch’inChing pushed his upper body up with his left hand and saw under the hazymoonlight his partly undressed bottom and his hips gyrating by themselves alongwith his right hand’s movement. The messy, slick head of his member was peepingfrom under his pants and had left a small pool of stickiness on his stomacherotically reflecting the moon’s radiance.

To bethis aroused… Ch’in Ching chuckled. Although he mockingly called himself apervert, it was naught but a name. Because he was born with an unusual heart,he harboured little l.u.s.t, and other than his gambling habits, he led a ratherabstinent lifestyle.

ButShen Liangsheng was different. With a light smile about his lips, Ch’in Chingacknowledged that, to him, the man was different from the moment he knew hisident.i.ty.

Butthis “different” was different from the “different” he had initially expected.

What afunny little tongue-twister.

As these thoughts raced through his mind, his handsdid not cease to move. That he had become this aroused because of the man inducedin him a nearly m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.tic pleasure.

Hewatched himself m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.e with the pa.s.s, rub his member with the man’s intimatepossession, and become so uninhibited, all without even having direct contact,his skin shielded from the item by his pants.

Hewatched his p.e.n.i.s envalley with so much blood that the swollen head almostglowed red, and an endless flow of clear but impure fluids dripped from thehole. He made a sudden change in motion and brought a corner of the pa.s.s to thelittle hole on the head. The sharp pain mixed with the pleasure rushed to hishead, and his member trembled a few times before reaching release.

Ch’in Ching lay back down, panting for a while. Heheld the pa.s.s up to study it under the moonlight.

Adribble of c.u.m hadfallen just now on the pa.s.s, and the milky liquid was sliding down the designs,stopping between the two heads atop the thick serpentine body of the yenwei.

Word byword, Ch’in Ching recited the story in the Shan-haiChing:

The yenwei has the head of man, body ofserpent, and wears purple dress and a red crown, and he who sees it shalldominate the realm…

…huh.