To be fair, even without this truck accident, he would have come clean eventually. She was the love of his life, and if he wanted them to spend the rest of their lives together, honesty was important.
However, this had happened so suddenly that he wasn"t mentally prepared yet. He was afraid, afraid that she might react the same way as those people from his childhood after she found out about the truth. The fear, the isolation, the hatred… he couldn"t bear to see those emotions on her face.
"Su Zhinian?" Song Qingchun looked at how Su Zhinian had gone petrified with the gla.s.s in his hand, and she couldn"t help but prompt him.
"Hmm…" Su Zhinian heard her and quickly pulled himself back from his thoughts. He finished the rest of the lemonade slowly before resting the gla.s.s back on his desk. He stood up to walk toward Song Qingchun.
Su Zhinian sat down across from Song Qingchun. He glanced at the book Song Qingchun had just put on the table, it was the English version of "Luan s.h.i.+ Jia Ren". He then raised his eyes to meet her gaze. She was probably figuring out a way to formulate the question. Her lips moved several times, but nothing came out. Su Zhinian waited patiently for a while before uttering, "What"s wrong?"
"I…" Song Qingchun only said a word before going quietly again. A long silence later, she began anew. "I have something to ask you."
Su Zhinian could feel his heart tense with fear. He tried to maintain his calmness as he nodded at Song Qingchun to have her continue.
"Erm…" Song Qingchun raised her hand to point at Su Zhinian"s diary. "…Sorry, but I"ve read your diary without your permission."
Su Zhinian nodded wordlessly. He already knew about that. He knew that it was because she had glimpsed through his diary that she had resolved herself to cancel the marriage with Qin Yinan and accompany him to h.e.l.l. That was the most painful and the most beautiful period of their love story.
At the time, he had been worried that she might catch those weird occurrences in his diary and would approach him with questions. It was not until later, when he confirmed that those observation had slipped her mind, that his heart calmed.
"No, I meant to say, when you were asleep for these past two days, I"ve been reading through it again."
Su Zhinian pressed his lips as he stared at Song Qingchun. He waited quietly for the blow that would come next. As he expected, this time she had noticed the weird entries that had escaped her attention earlier.
"In your diary, it stated that you came to help me wipe away my tears multiple times, but I have zero recollection of that. Furthermore, I made sure I was alone whenever I felt like crying, so how did you hear me and find me?"
Song Qingchun paused. Since Su Zhinian didn"t answer, she leveled all of the questions in her mind in one go. "…Also, those mocking words and nicknames that I gave you were not meant for your ears. I"ve never mentioned them to you, so how did you find out about them? Also, my argument with Tang Nuan at Station TW…
"I am sure you weren"t with us inside the female toilet, so how did you hear us?
"Furthermore, a few days ago, during that close shave, I remember that our car had already stopped…"