XLII.
The next day was Sunday. Lavretsky was not awakened by the bells which clanged for early Ma.s.s, for he had not closed his eyes all night; but they reminded him of another Sunday, when he went to church at Liza"s request. He rose in haste. A certain secret voice told him that to-day also he would see her there. He left the house quietly, telling the servant to say to Varvara Pavlovna, who was still asleep, that he would be back to dinner, and then, with long steps, he went where the bell called him with its dreary uniformity of sound.
He arrived early; scarcely any one was yet in the church. A Reader was reciting the Hours in the choir. His voice, sometimes interrupted by a cough, sounded monotonously, rising and falling by turns. Lavretsky placed himself at a little distance from the door. The worshippers arrived, one after another, stopped, crossed themselves, and bowed in all directions. Their steps resounded loudly through the silent and almost empty s.p.a.ce, and echoed along the vaulted roof. An infirm old woman, wrapped in a threadbare hooded cloak, knelt by Lavretsky"s side and prayed fervently. Her toothless, yellow, wrinkled face expressed intense emotion. Her bloodshot eyes gazed upwards, without moving, on the holy figures displayed upon the iconostasis. Her bony hand kept incessantly coming out from under her cloak, and making the sign of the cross--with a slow and sweeping gesture, and with steady pressure of the fingers on the forehead and the body. A peasant with a morose and thickly-bearded face, his hair and clothes all in disorder, came into the church, threw himself straight down on his knees, and immediately began crossing and prostrating himself, throwing back his head and shaking it after each inclination. So bitter a grief showed itself in his face and in all his gestures, that Lavretsky went up to him and asked him what was the matter. The peasant sank back with an air of distrust; then, looking at him coldly, said in a hurried voice, "My son is dead," and again betook himself to his prostrations.
"What sorrow can they have too great to defy the consolations of the Church?" thought Lavretsky, and he tried to pray himself. But his heart seemed heavy and hardened, and his thoughts were afar off. He kept waiting for Liza; but Liza did not come. The church gradually filled with people, but he did not see Liza among them. Ma.s.s began, the deacon read the Gospel, the bell sounded for the final prayer.
Lavretsky advanced a few steps, and suddenly he caught sight of Liza.
She had come in before him, but he had not observed her till now.
Standing in the s.p.a.ce between the wall and the choir, to which she had pressed as close as possible, she never once looked round, never moved from her place. Lavretsky did not take his eyes off her till the service was quite finished; he was bidding her a last farewell. The congregation began to disperse, but she remained standing there. She seemed to be waiting for Lavretsky to go away. At last, however, she crossed herself for the last time, and went out without turning round.
No one but a maid-servant was with her.
Lavretsky followed her out of the church, and came up with her in the street. She was walking very fast, her head drooping, her veil pulled low over her face.
"Good-day, Lizaveta Mikhailovna," he said in a loud voice, with feigned indifference. "May I accompany you?"
She made no reply. He walked on by her side.
"Are you satisfied with me?" he asked, lowering his voice. "You have heard what took place yesterday, I suppose?"
"Yes, yes," she answered in a whisper; "that was very good;" and she quickened her pace.
"Then you are satisfied?"
Liza only made a sign of a.s.sent.
"Fedor Ivanovich," she began, presently, in a calm but feeble voice, "I wanted to ask you something. Do not come any more to our house. Go away soon. We may see each other by-and-by--some day or other--a year hence, perhaps. But now, do this for my sake. In G.o.d"s name, I beseech you, do what I ask!"
"I am ready to obey you in every thing, Lizaveta Mikhailovna. But can it be that we must part thus? Is it possible that you will not say a single word to me?"
"Fedor Ivanovich, you are walking here by my side. But you are already so far, far away from me; and not only you, but--"
"Go on, I entreat you!" exclaimed Lavretsky. "What do you mean?"
"You will hear, perhaps--But whatever it may be, forget--No, do not forget me--remember me."
"I forget you?"
"Enough. Farewell. Please do not follow me."
"Liza--" began Lavretsky.
"Farewell, farewell!" she repeated, and then, drawing her veil still lower over her face, she went away, almost at a run.
Lavretsky looked after her for a time, and then walked down the street with drooping head. Presently he ran against Lemm, who also was walking along with his hat pulled low over his brows, and his eyes fixed on his feet.
They looked at each other for a time in silence.
"Well, what have you to say?" asked Lavretsky at last.
"What have I to say?" replied Lemm, in a surly voice. "I have nothing to say. "All is dead and we are dead." ("_Alles ist todt und wir sind todt_.") Do you go to the right?"
"Yes."
"And I am going to the left. Good-bye."
On the following morning Lavretsky took his wife to Lavriki. She went in front in a carriage with Ada and Justine. He followed behind in a taranta.s.s. During the whole time of the journey, the little girl never stirred from the carriage-window. Every thing astonished her: the peasant men and women, the cottages, the wells, the arches over the horses" necks, the little bells hanging from them, and the numbers of rooks. Justine shared her astonishment. Varvara Pavlovna kept laughing at their remarks and exclamations. She was in excellent spirits; she had had an explanation with her husband before leaving O.
"I understand your position," she had said to him; and, from the expression of her quick eyes, he could see that she did completely understand his position. "But you will do me at least this justice--you will allow that I am an easy person to live with. I shall not obtrude myself on you, or annoy you. I only wished to ensure Ada"s future; I want nothing more."
"Yes, you have attained all your ends," said Lavretsky.
"There is only one thing I dream of now; to bury myself for ever in seclusion. But I shall always remember your kindness--"
"There! enough of that!" said he, trying to stop her.
"And I shall know how to respect your tranquillity and your independence," she continued, bringing her preconcerted speech to a close.
Lavretsky bowed low. Varvara understood that her husband silently thanked her.
The next day they arrived at Lavriki towards evening. A week later Lavretsky went away to Moscow, having left five thousand roubles at his wife"s disposal; and the day after Lavretsky"s departure, Panshine appeared, whom Varvara Pavlovna had entreated not to forget her in her solitude. She received him in the most cordial manner; and, till late that night, the lofty rooms of the mansion and the very garden itself were enlivened by the sounds of music, and of song, and of joyous French talk. Panshine spent three days with Varvara Pavlovna. When saying farewell to her, and warmly pressing her beautiful hands, he promised to return very soon--and he kept his word.
XLIII.
Liza had a little room of her own on the second floor of her mother"s house, a bright, tidy room, with a bedstead with white curtains in it, a small writing-table, several flower-pots in the corners and in front of the windows, and fixed against the wall a set of bookshelves and a crucifix. It was called the nursery; Liza had been born in it.
After coming back from the church where Lavretsky had seen her, she set all her things in order with even more than usual care, dusted every thing, examined all her papers and letters from her friends, and tied them up with pieces of ribbon, shut up all her drawers, and watered her flowers, giving each flower a caressing touch. And all this she did deliberately, quietly, with a kind of sweet and tranquil earnestness in the expression of her face. At last she stopped still in the middle of the room and looked slowly around her; then she approached the table over which hung the crucifix, fell on her knees, laid her head on her clasped hands, and remained for some time motionless. Presently Marfa Timofeevna entered the room and found her in that position. Liza did not perceive her arrival. The old lady went out of the room on tiptoe, and coughed loudly several times outside the door. Liza hastily rose and wiped her eyes, which shone, with gathered but not fallen tears.
"So I see you have arranged your little cell afresh," said Marfa Timofeevna, bending low over a young rose-tree in one of the flower-pots. "How sweet this smells!"
Liza looked at her aunt with a meditative air.
"What was that word you used?" she whispered.
"What word--what?" sharply replied the old lady. "It is dreadful," she continued, suddenly pulling off her cap and sitting down on Liza"s bed. "It is more than I can bear. This is the fourth day I"ve been just as if I were boiling in a cauldron. I cannot any longer pretend I don"t observe any thing. I cannot bear to see you crying, to see how pale and withered you are growing. I cannot--I cannot."
"But what makes you say that aunt?" said Liza. "There is nothing the matter with me, I--"
"Nothing?" exclaimed Marfa Timofeevna. "Tell that to some one else, not to me! Nothing! But who was on her knees just now? Whose eyelashes are still wet with tears? Nothing! Why, just look at yourself, what have you done to your face? where are your eyes gone? Nothing, indeed!
As if I didn"t know all!"