Chapter 55 - Friends
– Do I… like Karen?
My heart froze because of that question. However, it happened for only a moment. After that one moment, cold blood started flowing inside my whole body like a muddy stream and my panic grew even worse.
This extremely noisy heartbeat.
I was afraid that it could be heard in the surroundings.
Answer to that question was on the tip of my tongue.
But before it turned into specific words, I continued pondering within that moment.
– Which, would it be…?
Hyodou, with her arms folded, grinned with a challenging face.
Still, while amused, she had an evaluating coldness inside her eyes.
– What"s with that question… Considering the flow of our chat right now, I don"t get it
While saying that, I pathetically hid how I clenched my fist.
Do I like her, or not?
I was certain about that myself. I was supposed to.
But that question was always "What do I think about her?". Not "Do I like her or not?". The gap between these two may be small, but they are worlds apart at the same time.
Do I like her, or not?
It is not also not "Do you like her or dislike her?". If I was asked like that, I wouldn"t have that much worries before saying that I like her. It"s impossible that I would say that I dislike her. Then, by elimination, there is only option of liking. It would be the same as being made to say that. I could have as many excuses as I would like.
Do I like her, or not?
Alright, Ichijou Jun. No matter how many days are given to a weakling like you, there will probably be no answer. Rather, the more time there is, the more you will look for a way out. That"s why, let"s just simply look at reality.
I can"t get her out of my head.
I end up unintentionally wondering if we are going to meet today.
Day after day I keep her company for studies and on our way home without making displeased face, and then get tired.
I have at last, because of her, ran away to such a remote place.
That bookworm loner has done things to that extent. Is doing things to that extent.
Do I like Tachibana, you say…?
Tachibana has come very close.
It is as if she urges me, but still, I managed to squeeze out a single reply.
– I… like her
– … I"m glad that I asked
– Humph… So that answer was to your liking
– Well, that was…
The present instigator grinned and sinisterly laughed.
– Next time, can you do it manly, just like now…? So that not Karen, but Ichijou can be seen by everyone in a nice way
– Next time? What are you talking about…?
– … I"m looking forward to it
– Juun! Ah, Yayoi. What were you talking about with Jun!
– Karen, don"t run…!
Tachibana and cla.s.s representative rushed over.
Our eyes met and she grinned. It was always like that. Ever since I could see this, I would uncharacteristically feel cheerful in the school. And when I couldn"t, I would feel especially gloomy.
– Sorry, sorry. I wouldn"t take away Karen"s boyfriend, so don"t worry, okay?
– No… Boyfriend, somehow I feel shy when other people say that…
– Karen is finally a girlfriend, huh… Be happy, okay?
Hyoudou poked Tachibana in the shoulder and left to the other side.
So, only our team was left. Me and Komatsu-kun in process of cooking. Tachibana and Tenjuin who have returned. Though I do feel awkward with this and that happening between me and Tachibana lately.
Sensing the delicate atmosphere, the four of us exchanged looks.
Tachibana let out an "Ehehe…" with a red face while playing with her hair. Despite doing all of that in the public presence just earlier, it seems that her head has cooled down a bit.
"Umm, what should we do…♪ Will you, flirt right here…?"
"I won"t, fool…"
"Right… Wouldn"t it be rude to the two of them?"
– Err, well, this and that happened, but… Let"s, let"s do it…
– Ye-, yeah…
After all, we managed with great difficulty to break out of the awkwardness and catch a breath when we got to have the dinner at the edge.
Every group gathered what they have brought to the center of the arranged circle of tents and turned it into a kind of an eat-while-standing party. Most of the people are making noise around the light in the center.
I was gazing at the violet horizon, that made it seem that night goes only that far.
Like. Although not in front of the person herself, I ended up saying it. Is it true? Say, I do like her, which part of her do I like then? Questions still remain, but I don"t want to lie now that I have said it.
—— "I wonder, why is it Ichijou…"
As I sat down, that phrase suddenly got into my head and wouldn"t leave.
Everyone is looking at me. Conscious for the first time of just what kind of guy I am, they shifted their attention to me. I"m getting looked at. They think about me, that Tachibana"s partner has to be suitable…
The previous me would probably think that it doesn"t matter from the bottom of his heart.
But the problem right now is not what they think about me. It"s what they think about me and Tachibana. If nothing is done regarding this in particular, I won"t be able to protect her as someone who stands next to her.
– Are you, okay…?
A small figure without much of a presence quietly approached.
– So it"s Komatsu-kun…
– Haha. As expected, you"re alone even here. Can I, sit here…?
As he sat, both of us munched on the meat and whatever was on top of our paper plates.
Now then, he is a loner mate. Even if I can"t call myself a loner publicly, it"s not like Tachibana has subst.i.tuted my essence. I am still me. Looking at Komatsu-kun made me realize that.
– I wonder if it is… because I"m alone?
– Eh…?
I was surprised myself that I asked someone else for advice. But still, I continued.
– I"m being thought of as lame because I"m alone. I have never though like that until now. I was fine with anything. I seriously thought "just say what you want".
As I thought that Komatsu-kun opened his eyes wide from being surprised, he folded up, grasped his knees, put his face against his legs and bashfully laughed, fufu.
– Wh-, what…?
– You asked for an advice. So I finally felt like I became a friend
– Umm… You are a friend, I guess. Humph, what"s this… It"s hundred times easier to say it than "I like you"
– Even if you were alone, Tachibansan got along with you… right?
– …… Guess so
– Well then, I say, nothing has changed. Isn"t it fine if you"re alone? It"s fine to just smash into everyone as Ichijou-kun that you are.
– Haa. Smash, huh…
– You don"t remember? Everyone will turn into ghosts and look, you know…?
– Ah…
My friend №1 in the cla.s.s happily laughed.
At the same time, Hyoudou"s face from not long ago flickered before my eyes. "Next time, can you do it manly, just like now…?" she has asked like that.
Tachibana is thoughtless. If I am silent, she"ll probably start enjoying herself again.
Like that, I"ll become even more pa.s.sive. If she starts flirting and I simply become gloomy, there likely won"t be any change to the reaction from the cla.s.s.
So what about this "next time"?
If I, take the lead just a bit more…?
Haa… Alright.
Recall that previous time when you were the boyfriend. Let"s show them. What I become when I"m caught in the moment. Center of the cla.s.s, I will, I will, umm…
Well, just look…
If I hit the best record in flirting condition, those guys will probably sink in the night"s fear.