Chapter 17 - Changes
Unusually, next week I was fully immersed in studying.
I"m desperate at this point. Thinking back on the last one-two weeks, I feel as if my heart is about to float to the heavens.
Midterm tests are a month away.
For a person like me, who studies with exams in mind, a fresh start is very important. This time I will get the first place, I"m sick of the bulls.h.i.t rank like 4th place. I have confidence in my foundation being stronger than anyone"s due to diligent preparations for the test. I feel that if I study more than this, I will become overqualified for the tests.
But it is exactly what I need.
If I really want to gain superiority, I have to make it so that there are no doubts about who is the winner. Otherwise, I will start making excuses amidst my great effort. I don"t even want to imagine such a weak me.
I have to concentrate on myself.
I have been doing it up to now, and it has to be so from now on.
And about Tachibana… It"s okay if I mind her only when we are together.
Only when she needs me, only at times like that…
Recesses, lunch breaks, homerooms, on train during daily commute.
No needless thoughts during the time I"m not looking at study material.
There are always scribbled notes spread over my desk, already worn-out textbooks and workbooks are covered in dirty marks and creases. The more I concentrate on studies, the more my worries fly away. I entered the zone and cannot even hear Okamura and party"s ridicule.
Thinking about it, lately, I haven"t led a life of a loner.
Teaching cla.s.s queen, going on a date, worrying about it.
And now, at last I feel like I returned to my original, strong self.
I can do it like this. I can get the first place. Still, what if hypothetically, I can make it to the top of the ranking table, what would Tachibana say?…… Ah.
I strongly bit my lip. Forcefully, to the point where I could taste my blood.
That right now, in my history, was the s.h.i.ttiest thought coming from the heart. I kicked it out at that exact moment. Not before and not in the future, never again will I study for the sake of someone else. It is always for myself.
So you really have to reflect on what you thought right now, s.h.i.tty small fry NPC virgin.
Right when I was having stupid worries.
A good nuisance came at a right time. It was immediately after the end of second period.
– Ichijou-kun.
Looking up, I saw a familiar young face with freckles. It was Komatsu-kun.
Sounds of the heavy rain outside reverberated inside the cla.s.sroom. Somehow, the atmosphere in the cla.s.s is heavy despite it being during break.
– You know, I want you to teach me this… Is it okay?
Saying that, Komatsu-kun showed me his notebook.
Hmm…
It was me who told him to concentrate on studies as a loner. It"s okay, I guess.
– Where, which one?
Probably because every day I teach a certain someone, my responses were smooth.
Expressing his thanks, Komatsu-kun returned to his seat.
Aha! He too embarked on the path of a bookworm.
If he learns the joy of getting results, that lonely youth will not be able to get off this path, without a doubt.
Though, isn"t the number of bookworms in this cla.s.s getting too large lately?
Both Tachibansan and Komatsu-kun within two, three weeks.
At this pace, it would be no surprise if there will be one or two more, yeah. Sooner or later the cla.s.sroom will be packed with diligent students, wouldn"t it?
That way, I will turn this cla.s.sroom into a bookworm campground!
The name will be "Jimmies" Boot Camp". Seems absolutely hardcore from the name alone… And that is not the end. With a "This cla.s.s is get the First Prize or die" slogan, we will at least take the silver.
But… But with a cla.s.sroom packed with bookworms, I would like to see Okamura"s crimson face a bit. The thrill of looking at something scary.
Still, if the previous encounter was this unexpected, then the next one was that unexpected.
I don"t know why, but exactly that day was strangely different from all the others.
No, from this day, something started to change.
Anyway, it was during the lunch break.
When I was maintaining my concentration, someone poked me in the back.
Who is it… Or should I say, aha, it"s probably her, suddenly doing something like this.
Thinking that it was certainly so, I turned around, but someone unexpected was standing there.
– Yo. Good job.
– Ah, hi…
Standing there, was the guy from football club, Ogino Suguru.
Cool guy with a nice haircut, with his mouth being the only loose part of him. With the sudden entrance of a guy from a different genre, I was startled for a moment.
– Can I?
He pointed at the seat next to me and I shrugged my shoulders.
– It"s not my seat anyway…I don"t care.
– That so. Then I"ll sit.
What did you come here for?
By the way, all the other members of the sociable company are being noisy at the window side as usual. Kyahaha. I can hear Tachibana"s laughter from here. This guy Ogino, should have certainly been together with them as usual.
There was a delicate two second silence between us.
This, is it a okay if I to go back to studying? Just as I thought so, he murmured.
– Ichijou, you"re always studying, don"t you?
Extremely abrupt…
Also, he started his speech the same way as Komatsu-kun did at that time inside the bus. In the end, it seems I don"t give any impression other than that.
– Well… Tests are soon.
– Last time, weren"t you at the fourth place?
– Exactly, it was fourth. That is, not first. On top of that, who knows if the three above me engage in club activities every day. In that case, a member of the go-home club… cannot allow himself to lose, right?
– Oh, really?
Just as he released a voice of apparent admiration,
– So, do you have a girlfriend…?
– By what logic has it come to this?
Both Hyoudou from before and Ogino have slightly peculiar way of making a pause. Seems like even if I collectively name them sociable guys, in reality there are different types of people among them.
– Well, despite involving yourself with Karen, all you do is study. So I was wondering if you have some other girlfriend.
Uh… So this was his real motive. Just say so from the beginning.
How should I explain it to him… In the first place, is it okay to disclose that I"m helping her with studies after school? Though I am one of the concerned people, I don"t know what kind of circ.u.mstances she has, so just what should I say?
As an individual, I didn"t want other people to know about the after school matter. I didn"t know the reason myself, but I just felt that I wanted it to stay as a secret.
So I decided to somehow evade his questions, but…
– From the very beginning my first priority was studying. Just why do you a.s.sume that love is foremost…
– I see…
– What, what are you grinning for?
– So you don"t have a girlfriend. Then, does that mean that it"s okay to get intimate with her?
– You"re jumping between different questions too much. Stop asking yes-no questions. There are lots of things in the world that are in between.
– Eeh… Well then, Ichijou, do you swing the other way?
– NO! How the h.e.l.l did you come up with that sort of between!? Also, do you sociable guys have only love on your minds? Oh my G.o.d…
So we had a slightly annoying conversation like this.
It"s so absurd. And I was even desperately studying.
It was an excessively unexpected occurrence.
Ignoring whatever contents of the conversations, being talked to by someone during a break is a major event. Not to mention, today it was done twice.
If it continues like this, I"ll go out of business as a loner. What the h.e.l.l should I do?
But seriously, what"s happening today?
While I was thinking so,
– Most likely, Suguru has an interest in you. Komatsu-kun too.
That is a theory provided by Tachibana.
The usual after school library. Of all things, as an outcome of our chat, I ended up asking this girl who sat next to me.
And after having this talk, the face of this girl, who looked sad because of the studying and sounds of the rain, started getting visibly brighter. Seeing such a beautiful smile so close, my heart started beating faster, but… Of course this girl hasn"t noticed my situation, and continued talking while constantly spinning her raised index finger.
– As expected, a person doing his best at something appears very attractive, don"t you think so? Bookworm… is aaalways a bookworm, right♪
Having turned on the whispering mode and losing all the concentration Tachibana put her face against the desk and turned it my way. With a grin.
– Hmm, a person doing his best, huh.
– Isn"t it alright to be friendly with people, for example during the lunch break. If it is now, I can join you too.
– For G.o.d"s sake, stop that. Seriously.
– Huh, whyyy?
She puffed out her cheeks. She is lightly angry.
It is a sly move and I"m troubled for response. There is no way I can say something like "That"s so cute" like her friends, and it makes me feel tormented.
And by the way, learn how to treat loners already.
I was just diagnosed by a romcom psychiatrist and it turned out that I"m at Stage 1. Well, I am absolutely not admitting it though. Who am I, a patient with a fever?
– It"s like this. When you come, study hours will just disappear.
– Fuun?
– What fuun! I"m serious here! Test will be soon, so restrain yourself.
– Eeh. Well then, is it okay to go when tests are over?
– It"s just nitpicking. Whenever you come, if you come to me, it will look unnatural.
– Boo!
Well, summer break is right after tests, so I will manage to hold on.
But… it seems this girl want to recreate the same scene we had just now in the cla.s.sroom.
Ogino started poking his nose into my affairs just because of the matter from the school trip. If the same thing was shown to the whole cla.s.s, my head would explode from headache. Who knows, maybe some guys have already seen us. At this point, my loner lifestyle is under a threat.
That is, I think I know that she is worried, but…
And yet, I feel like me not speaking with anyone during lunch is like my last stronghold. A feeling, that if it is broken through, there will be no going back anymore.
Perhaps I started to be fearful of something.
And all of that despite conveniently boasting that I don"t care what others think of me.
Anyway, I continued to help her with studies.
With the sound of rain getting louder, the empty library started to slowly darken.
Tachibana is so close to me. Side of her white face is right there.
At a distance where I can clearly smell her pleasant fragrance.
Her breath and bright hairs touch my skin from time to time.
Without me noticing, we were left alone in the silent room.
Today is not the first time all of it happens, but I perceive it much more than usually.
That is why different from usual, each time I notice such thoughts inside me… I bite my lips.
The only thing I should do is teach Tachibana what she needs. That is to say, I should not be spoiled by her kindness or sense of duty.
As if seriously trying to become a teaching pro, I suppressed my emotions.
I was practically operating only on my sense of responsibility. Probably, it has been the easiest way.