Chapter 29 - Forgiveness
Of course, that was the topic of the conversation after school.
As soon as we entered the library, as expected, she showed her bad manners and sat on top of the desk illuminated by the sunlight coming from the window.
But what was different from usual, was that despite always grinning and showing me her teeth when our eyes meet, today it was not so.
Timidly and carefully, she asked me with upturned eyes.
– That guy, did he do something again? Or, is it because I did something…?
– Do you have any ideas?
– I have, none at all…
"Annoying" - she has said so many times about Nakamura in my presence.
Has she done anything? As far as I know… yeah, if she hasn"t pulled me into the cla.s.s, it may not have happened like this. Most likely, even now I"m still alone at the end of the cla.s.sroom, studying while receiving foolish slander. It"s just that as a result of her actions I ended up more or less earning a standing in the cla.s.s.
And yet, even that doesn"t mean that Tachibana has done something wrong.
It"s just that I"m a bit tired because of it, yeah.
Well, there"s no use in hiding it. I told her what happened yesterday.
How incorrigible Nakamura laughed, and how several of our cla.s.smates declared that they are on my side.
– …So complicated……
Exactly matching her own words, as if sad, she downheartedly hung her head.
It truly doesn"t suit her, this sort of face…
It"s the first time for such a mood to be during this time after school.
– There"s no way you"re at fault here, why do you look like you feel guilty?
– Because, you know, even though such a thing is happening, I still think that he is annoying. Is it, something weird…?
At times like this, when Tachibana cannot express something with words, she grabs the sleeve of my uniform just like now.
Today her grip is fairly strong. I felt like I understood what she wanted to say just from that.
"Things like you being loathed even until now, are really unacceptable…"
"Why do you care about it so much?"
"Haa? You are an important person to me, isn"t it obvious that I will dislike that."
And because of that I… If for argument"s sake, Tachibana was bullied in the cla.s.s or something, I tried to imagine that. Well, in the particular case of this girl, I can"t imagine s.h.i.t, that"s just impossible.
I felt weird about myself. Because an unpleasant feeling that I usually hardly ever feel, boiled like magma and rose from the depths of my stomach.
To be angry at something that hasn"t even happened, I say there"s something strange with it.
– Well, It"s not weird… probably
– I know, right? Maybe it was an overkill today, but isn"t it just reaping what you sow a bit? But still it was an overkill anyway, so I feel unwell or something… That"s why, it"s so complicated. I wonder what I want to happen?
Showing a despondent face once more, she gloomily loosened her grip on my sleeve.
Should I say she is really pure… And the fact that I mostly understand what she thinks is most likely related to that pureness. Usually, I would feel like smiling when I look at her, but I too, have complicated feelings.
If Tachibana could forgive Nakamura, would she be broadly grinning again?
And it"s the same with the guys from my cla.s.s. I"ll take no part in something being done for my sake and making me feel bad as a result, not anymore.
I want my surroundings to be peaceful. I want them to be calm without a care for me.
Still, you reap what you sow, huh? As if a ma.s.sive thunderbolt is about to strike. 1
Well… If you really reap what you sow, then I have a small idea.
But to implement it, I need to step up myself…
Haa, can"t be helped, huh.
To face something, is probably something like that.
– It is now clear to me. But if it is reaping what you sow, then you have to forgive him all the more.
– Haa? I"m a little confused here…
– I"ve also done some s.h.i.tty actions, but Tachibana has forgiven me. Isn"t that so?
At this point, Tachibana gently smiled, so I felt relieved a little.
– Like coming in jersey on the first date …
– Or somehow doubting that Tachibana was a friend
– Bu-, But. Aren"t this and that different things… And Jun apologized immediately too.
– Well then, it will be alright if he apologizes to me. Also, stop with Jun.
– Ehehe… Jun.
You mean, if I"m frustrated, I should call you Karen, huh?
You"re not an imp anymore, you"re an adult demon who causes mental disorders in loner b.a.s.t.a.r.ds of the world. That, truly reaches my spinal cord, so I want you to stop. And the one who says it is Tachibana so the effect surpa.s.ses extraordinary.
"And you… Which of my actions make you happy?"
Just from a Tachibana"s change from sullen face to a tiny smile, I become overwhelmed by feelings. I become… happy. This, this is seriously crazy. My head becomes hot and weird.
But now, this matter is settled. This is taking responsibility, according to me.2
Well then… As expected, during the next lunch break Nakamura was alone again.
At that divine location that was previously my seat, sleeping or not, he was lying on top of the desk.
Hmm. There are actually about 40 people in the cla.s.sroom.
That is to say, everyone has a s.h.i.tty part to them, without exception.
Though, if they had to receive a similar treatment whenever that part appeared, just how harsh would their school life become?
If that way of doing things is reaping what you sow, then not being forgiven when your own faults are exposed is reaping what you sow too. But an equal mutual exchange where n.o.body forgives anyone, what kind of youth dystopia is that?
Therefore, this is neither pity nor kindness.
That kind of suffocating cla.s.sroom is simply displeasing, that is all.
And it"s not really for Tachibana"s sake and of course it"s not for Nakamura"s sake.
So, before the eyes of the guys from the cla.s.s I stood up and slowly walked to Nakamura"s detached like a solitary island seat. A deep breath here. There"s nothing to be nervous about here.
Ehem. I will forgive him, so you guys forgive him too, alright?
– Oi.
Saying so, I lightly poked Nakamura"s back with rolled up notebook.
Nakamura… Male student called Nakamura Rento had long and narrow eyes, he was wearing fashionable black rimmed gla.s.ses. That is, I already knew his face, but… this is the first time I paid at least some attention to such a thing.
Also, for me, my cla.s.s was such a thing.
If that changes, would it become more fun than it is now?
– Huh… Wh-, what is it…?
– Yo
Turning half his body in my direction, the guy had a frightened look. His eyes were even trembling. Like I care about that. Having my own reasons, I will have you restored in the cla.s.s starting today.
Now that I think… When I first spoke with Tachibana, in the same way, there wasn"t much coherence to it. Feeling amused from recalling that, my face relaxed a little.
Ichijou started a talk with Nakamura — cla.s.sroom suddenly got silent, but I continued not caring about it.
– Your textbook, pull it out.
– Ha…? What is it, so suddenly? I don"t get it at all.
– Come on, just pull it out. Yesterday, you messed up with that problem. What you shouldn"t get at all is being laughed at because of such a stupid thing. We"ll do something about it, from now on.
After restlessly checking his surroundings, he distrustfully squinted.
– What"s your intention…?
– Nothing really. Even if I don"t say it, you"ve probably realized most of it.
This is a chance for Nakamura. He likely understands it.
He doesn"t really need to apologize right now. And this is not deliberately reconciling neither.
From the start, this problem was not that serious, I just need to show it to the cla.s.s.
– It"s just that somehow, you looked free. If you"re reluctant, I"m going back…?
For a short period, silence fell.
Seemingly troubled with something, he was avoiding my gaze, pouting as if there was something difficult to speak about.
However, hating solitude, he is the guy who shows his scorn just for someone being alone.
Nakamura had no other choices left to him. I thought that maybe he will show some backbone, but as expected, compared to me, he is a different human being about such things.
– Er, Ichijou… I"m sorry.
– Haa? Haven"t I said to pull out your textbook? And now you"re apologizing all of a sudden.
– Ye-, yeah…
Well, that"s it.
Though, since that day, his two friends from before returned to his seat. We also stopped strangely b.u.mping into each other.
It is so, but… Maybe that day I was in a good mood from successfully settling a troubling matter, but I have blurted out this.
– Nakamura, you… should come to overnight cramming meeting tomorrow. Right now, you can only fail the tests.
– Huh, haaa!?
Originally, it was written as ジゴージトク, which he says looks like a lightning.The same responsibility from chapter 4, that is “Ichijou = SUN taking responsibility”