He was at the table waiting when she got there. She"d put on a simple gray skirt with a pale blue blouse for work, and her hair was in a neat French twist. It was a sedate outfit, which was what she"d meant it to be. Since she knew how possessive Justin was, she didn"t want to spoil their delicate new relationship by making it look as if she was taking special pains with her appearance to go to work.
He looked up when she came into the dining room, and he smiled at the image she projected.
"Very businesslike," he said with approval. He leaned back in his chair, the action pulling the shirt taut over his hard-muscled chest. He looked devastating that way, with the light shining on his black hair and emphasizing his deep tan. He wasn"t a handsome man, but Shelby thought he was the most attractive man she"d ever seen.
"I"m glad you approve," she said, smiling at him.
He got up and seated her next to him, pausing to drop a warm, slow kiss on her mouth. His eyes searched hers, warm and soft and darkly glowing. "Pretty creature," he whispered. "Eat your eggs before I make a meal out of you."
She laughed with pure delight and dragged her eyes down to her plate. She could hardly believe the way things had changed in the past few days. Her eyes adored him. He was hers, now. For the first time, she felt really married. Finally they were on their way to a lasting relationship.
The following days emphasized it. She thought about Justin all day at work, and when they got home at night, there were no more arguments, no more barriers. He kissed her coming and going, and every night he made love to her, and she slept in his arms. It was as close to heaven as she"d ever been, like a waking dream that never seemed to sour or end. They spent time together, riding, playing the guitar, watching movies on the VCR. It was a new beginning, and Shelby could almost believe that what they had was perfect.
But even as they drew close physically, even as they spent more time together, Shelby could still feel the emotional distance between them. Justin shared none of his deepest feelings with her. He never spoke of love, even when they were the most intimate. He didn"t talk about the past or the future. It seemed to her as if he was doing his best to take it one day at a time, without bothering about tomorrow.
His reticence worried her. She was as much in love with him now as she had been in the very beginning, but Justin was adept at hiding what he felt. He had a poker face that she"d never been able to see through. He wanted her. That was obvious and delightful. But if there was more than desire in him, Shelby never saw it.
She kept on with her job, even though she knew that Justin wanted her to give it up. He was only fractionally less jealous of her boss, but he didn"t make any more harsh remarks. Meanwhile, Barry Holman had talked Tammy Lester into coming back to work, and things were developing very nicely between them. Shelby expected a breakthrough any day, because they were already exchanging heated looks.
And there was another development at home, too. Over four weeks had pa.s.sed since Shelby and Justin had been intimate for the first time, and there were growing signs that their intimacy might bear fruit. She hadn"t mentioned her suspicions to him, but she was almost sure that she was pregnant. The thought made her delightfully happy. Having a child with Justin would make her happiness complete, and he"d said himself that he wanted children. It would be the final balm, to heal the breach that existed between them. And when the baby came, Justin might begin to care about her as well as the child.
She was curled up on the sofa when he came into the room, scowling. He"d just been on the phone and he looked preoccupied.
"Is something wrong?" she asked gently, sitting up straight. He looked very somber for a change.
He glanced at her and grimaced. "I"ve got to fly up to Wyoming for a few days. I"ve been asked to appear in court as a character witness for a friend of mine who"s being sued." He sighed. "I don"t want to go, but he"d do it for me. I think he"s getting a raw deal."
He sat down beside her, drawing her close, while he smoked his cigarette and explained that the rancher was being accused of selling contaminated beef to a packing plant.
"You"re sure he didn"t do it?"
"I"m sure," he replied. He kissed her absently. "I wish I could take you with me, but I"m going to stay with Quinn Sutton. He"s not much of a woman"s man."
"I see. He"s a grizzled old hermit," she teased.
He chuckled. "Actually, he"s about my age and jaded. He lost his wife to another man about ten years ago and he never got over it. She had a child, a little boy. She left the boy behind and Quinn"s raised him. I don"t know what the boy will do if his dad goes to jail." He shook his head. "h.e.l.l of a mess."
"I hope he doesn"t have to go to jail," she said. Her pale green eyes searched his face. "I"ll miss you, Justin."
He wrapped her up tight and kissed her hungrily. "No less than I"ll miss you, honey," he whispered. "I"ll phone you every night. Maybe it won"t take too long."
"It had better not. If you leave me alone at night too long, I"ll run away with some s.e.xy man," she teased, knowing there wasn"t a s.e.xier man alive than her husband.
But Justin, still unsure of her even after the weeks of exquisite pleasure, didn"t realize what she meant. He held her, his chin on her hair, and stared quietly over her head, wondering if she was already beginning to tire of him. She was a beautiful woman, and he wasn"t a handsome man. She seemed to enjoy sleeping with him, but he wanted much more than her slender body in the darkness. He wanted her to love him.
"Don"t speed while I"m gone," he cautioned quietly.
She laughed softly. The small American car he"d bought her wasn"t a speeding kind of automobile. He"d made sure of that first, but apparently he wasn"t going to trust her completely.
"I won"t," she promised. "And Maria and Lopez will be here at night, so you don"t have to worry about me. I"ll be fine. I"ll just be lonely," she added, sitting up. Her eyes searched his. "Justin, you"re worried. What about?"
He shifted. "Just business, honey," he said evasively. His eyes narrowed as they searched hers. "You aren"t getting tired of marriage already, are you?"
She actually gasped. "What?"
"You heard me. I can"t give you all that your father could. I just hope it"s enough."
She reached up, bringing his face down to hers. "Oh, Justin, you"re all I want!"
She kissed him, feeling the ripple run through his powerful body at the touch of her mouth against his. It still amazed her, that wild reaction she got when she kissed or touched him. He never said anything about it, but he seemed to love having her make the first move, having her reach out to him. She didn"t do it often, because she was still the least bit shy with him. But it was getting easier. His response was encouraging.
He lifted her, turned her, and his mouth grew hungry. The pa.s.sion between them never seemed to wane. If anything, it was even stronger now than it had been at the beginning. She held nothing back, and her lack of inhibition keyed a similar lack in him. He was still tender, but occasionally his ardor grew demanding and fierce, and at those times she knew a fulfillment that surpa.s.sed her wildest dreams.
"When do you have to go?" she whispered, trembling because his hands were under her soft blouse, touching her.
"Tomorrow."
"So soon?"
He lifted her, getting to his feet in one smooth, graceful motion. "We"ve got all night," he whispered over her mouth before he took it. "G.o.d, I want you! I want you all the time..."
She moaned under his hard mouth, loving his touch, needing the ardent sweetness of his arms. She clung to him as he opened the door and carried her slowly upstairs. If only she could tell him how much she loved him, share the delightful secret that she was h.o.a.rding. She wanted to. In fact, she started to. But as she opened her mouth to tell him, his lips began to probe hers tenderly. And as always, the spark of desire knocked every thought out of her mind except Justin, and the exquisite pleasure of loving him in the darkness.
He was gone when she woke up the next morning. She barely remembered feeling his mouth brush hers, hearing his whispered goodbye. But she"d been so tired, and she hadn"t fully awakened. When she did, she wished then that she"d made him listen. She had an odd feeling that she should have tried harder, a premonition that their harmony was about to be disrupted. But perhaps it was only her condition and her uncertainty about Justin"s feelings for her. Surely they were so close now that nothing could rebuild the old wall that had kept them apart for six years.
Chapter Nine.
Court was in session, and there was more work than ever in the small office for Shelby and Tammy. Mr. Holman was working on two divorce cases, a land settlement, a suit for damages resulting from a highway car crash, and he was defending a local man who"d been charged with manslaughter. No sooner did Tammy get through researching one case than she had to start on the next. The land settlement involved complicated research in the county clerk"s office, looking up plats and deeds. One of the divorces involved allegations of child abuse, and that required a deposition from an emergency-room physician who"d treated the child-Mr. Holman did that, of course, with the court stenographer. But Tammy had to get the medical records and take down potential testimony from a psychologist and check into the husband"s criminal record. The car crash meant more delving into police records and interviewing potential witnesses, and the manslaughter charge looked like a full-time job in itself.
Shelby didn"t envy the young woman her paralegal status. Tammy had been taking courses at night at a nearby junior college, and now it was paying off. Mr. Holman had already raised her salary and she was coping with things Shelby couldn"t begin to understand. It was a good thing, Shelby thought, that she hadn"t wanted that training herself. With her almost positive pregnancy, she wouldn"t be able to work for many more months. She knew Justin was going to insist that she stay home the last month or so of her pregnancy. Secretly, she wanted that, too. She wanted the time to plan things for the baby, to get furniture and fix up a room for a nursery. She smiled, thinking about the look on Justin"s face when she told him the news.
"I said," Mr. Holman interrupted her thoughts gently, "I"m afraid you"re going to have to put in some overtime this week-you and Tammy. Civil court"s in full swing, and superior court convenes next week. We don"t have a lot of time to get our cases in order."
"I don"t mind," Shelby a.s.sured him. "Justin"s out of town, so I"ve got nothing to do in the evenings."
"His loss, my gain." The blond lawyer grinned. "Thanks, Shelby. I don"t know what I"d do without you. I"ve got to run to the courthouse and then I"ll be at Carson"s Cafe for lunch. Back about one."
"Okay, boss."
He started out the door and collided with Tammy, who was rushing in. He caught her upper arms to steady her and she rested her hands on his chest to support herself. They looked at each other and froze there, a tableau that Shelby found oddly touching.
"You okay?" Barry Holman asked the young woman.
Tammy"s full lips parted. "Yes," she breathed. She didn"t look up, and she was blushing.
His hands contracted for a minute, then he let her go. "Be careful," he said softly, and smiled. "I don"t want to lose you."
"Yes, sir," Tammy murmured huskily.
He let his glance drop to her mouth for one long instant, then he was gone, frowning and impatient all over again.
Shelby had to smother a grin. From fighting tooth and nail, the two of them had become shy and reserved and uncomfortable with each other. Tammy actually seemed to vibrate when the boss came into a room, and her face lit up like a neon sign.
"I, uh, have some notes to type," Tammy said, faltering.
Shelby smiled. "I"ll go out and get us some lunch. What would you like?"
"Tuna-fish salad and crackers, and iced tea. Here. And thanks a million! I"ll go tomorrow." Tammy grinned.
"That"s a deal. I won"t be long. Hold the fort."
Shelby went around the corner to the drugstore and found Abby bent over a greeting-card display.
"What are you looking for?" she asked her sister-in-law conspiratorially.
Abby chuckled, her blue-gray eyes lighting up. "A card for my gorgeous husband. His birthday is week after next," she reminded Shelby.
"How could I forget, when we"re having the party for him?" Shelby replied. "Which reminds me, I was supposed to call you two days ago to go over the arrangements. I got busy..." She flushed. What had happened was that Justin had wrestled her down on the carpet when she"d picked up the phone to call Abby, and nothing had gotten done for the rest of the night.
"I gather that things are going well over at your place," Abby mused, watching the scarlet blush. "Calhoun says Justin sits around dreaming at the feedlot instead of working, and that he"s got a photograph of you on his desk that he just stares at all the time."
Shelby laughed delightedly. "Does he, really?"
"You newlyweds." Abby smiled. "I"m glad it"s working out for you. I knew it would. You two were always equal halves of a whole-even Tyler mentioned it that night you and Justin danced together at the square dance."
Shelby blushed. "I never dreamed it would work out like this, though," she confessed. "I"ve never been so happy."
"I imagine Justin feels the same." She studied Shelby"s face curiously. "Why are you still working? Don"t you want to stay at home?"
"Well, I didn"t think it would be right to just walk off and leave Mr. Holman," Shelby confessed. "Tammy Lester"s working out very well and sooner or later I"ll go home. It"s just that I wanted to try my wings. I"ve never been independent before. It"s fun."
"So is marriage." Abby grinned. "I"m having a ball just being a housewife, as traitorous as that sounds coming from a modern woman. Was that Tammy I saw in the window this morning?" she added. "The shade was pulled down, but it was dark and there was a light behind her. She was leaning over Mr. Holman. She sure does look like you," she added. "Maybe not in person, but your silhouettes are really similar."
"It"s probably because we both have long hair and we"re tall and slender," Shelby said. "But she"s stuck on the boss, and just between us, I think it"s mutual. They started out hating each other. Now they"re at the throat-clearing, foot-shuffling stage."
"Guess what comes next," Abby said wickedly.
Shelby laughed softly, averting her eyes. "Well, they"ll get to that stage before much longer, I suppose. Calhoun doesn"t know about the surprise party, does he?" she asked to divert the younger woman.
"Heavens, no, and he wouldn"t drag it out of me at gunpoint, I promise. Justin phoned the other night and said he"d invited a couple of people who wouldn"t be on my list. I don"t guess he mentioned that to you?"
Shelby frowned. "Well...no. Who do you suppose he"s invited?" Her green eyes flashed. "Surely he wouldn"t invite any of his old flames...?" she mused to herself.
"I wouldn"t worry too much about that," Abby murmured, because Justin had once confessed to her that he"d never been in Calhoun"s league as a ladykiller. But Shelby didn"t need to know that, and it was Justin"s place to tell her when and if he wanted to.
"Then who?" she persisted.
"We"ll have to wait and see. You might ask him when he gets back. Pity about Mr. Sutton, isn"t it?" Abby sighed. "I met him and his son at one of those cattle conventions Calhoun and I went to month before last. He"s not much to look at, very reserved, but bristling with masculinity, if you know what I mean. He looked right through me, and there was a woman who came on to him..." Abby shivered. "I used to think Justin was kind of remote when I first went to live with the Ballengers, but Mr. Sutton makes Justin look like an extrovert. He hates women."
"His loss," Shelby said with a faint grin. "Of course, he obviously has never encountered women of our caliber."
Abby burst out laughing. "Shame on you."
Shelby laughed, too. "Call me when you have time and we"ll get those arrangements for the party finished. I"ve got to run. Tammy"s at the office by herself."
"Okay. I"ll just go through these cards again. Have a nice lunch."
"See you."
Shelby puzzled over what Abby had said all the way back to the office. She couldn"t help but wonder whom Justin had invited that he hadn"t told her about. She"d have to ask him.
He"d flown to Wyoming on Wednesday, and although he"d hoped to be back two days later, there had been complications and the hearing had been held over until Monday. He wasn"t going to get back for the weekend.
"Oh, Justin," she moaned. "And I have to work late next week. We"ve got court."
"Quit that d.a.m.ned job," he said shortly. "A woman"s place is at home, having children and keeping things straight."
A cold, deep voice in the background laughed and made a curt remark that Justin replied to.
"What was that?" Shelby asked curiously.
"Mr. Sutton thinks women are best when floured and salted and fried in lard," he mused.
"You can tell Mr. Sutton that men have to be marinated first," she shot back.
There was a murmur of voices and a deeply appealing laugh in the background. "Shame on you," Justin murmured. "I"ve got to go. This turkey goes to bed at nine, so I"ll be left up in the dark if I don"t hang up. Be good, sweetheart. I"ll see you Monday evening."
"You can pick me up at work if I"m not here, okay?" she asked softly.
"Okay. Good night."
"Good night, Justin," she said softly and kissed the receiver before she put it back in the cradle. She missed him already until it was almost unbearable. She wanted him to come home so badly.
The next two days pa.s.sed all too slowly, but Monday was hectic and she didn"t have time to look forward to seeing her husband. It was one tangle after another. The phone never stopped and Tammy had to run to the courthouse twice to take information to Mr. Holman in court.
By the end of the day, Shelby wondered if she was ever going to get to go home. Mr. Holman came in needing letters typed and a new brief prepared. It was pages long, and even with the computer, it took Shelby a long time.
Meanwhile, Tammy was flitting around the office following orders while Mr. Holman got more and more impatient. Shelby knew there was going to be trouble from the way Tammy began gnawing on her lower lip and glaring toward the boss"s office. At nine o"clock, he came to the doorway and made a sarcastic remark about a property-line measurement that Tammy had written incorrectly and the younger girl exploded.
"You expect miracles!" she told the angry blond man. "I"m working overtime, I haven"t had supper, I"ve had to get down on my hands and knees to get some of this stuff for you, and you"re yelling at me! I hate you!"
"You cream puff!" he threw back. "If you think this is hard work, try practicing law, honey!"