Look Again

Chapter Sixty-three.

"If we tell them I lied to you, then I"m just somebody who played hooky."

"Hooky?"

"Ditched work for the day. I even have a tan. But, on the other hand, if you tell them you lied for me, it makes it a bigger deal and it never goes away."

Marcelo pursed his lips, searching her face, and Ellen could see she was making headway.

"You"re a journalist, so you should know. Employee lies to boss. That"s no story. Boss lies for for employee? A headline." employee? A headline."



"I don"t know." Marcelo ran his fingers through his hair, muttering. "Que roubada. What a mess."

"Marcelo, if you care about me, you"ll suspend me without pay."

"Is that what you want?"

"Yes. For a week."

Marcelo"s lips flattened to a sour line. "Three days."

"Done."

Marcelo eyed her, his regret plain. "It"s a disciplinary action against you. It jeopardizes your job."

Ellen knew that, but this wasn"t the time to cry about it. She"d gotten them into this mess and she was going to get them out. "Look on the bright side. If you fire me, you have to take me out. I could lose a job, but gain a boyfriend."

"You"re killing me." Marcelo winced, rising, and Ellen stood up, too. They were standing about three feet apart, so close they could embrace, but n.o.body was touching anybody.

"I"m joking," she said, but Marcelo turned away and walked to the door, where he stopped and flashed her a final, sad smile.

"Then why aren"t we laughing?" he asked.

For that, Ellen had no answer.

Chapter Sixty-three.

Ellen set her DNA instructions on her bedspread and unpacked the two paper bags from her suitcase, the one containing Bill"s cigarette b.u.t.ts and the other Carol"s soda can. She set them next to the white business envelope that contained the Q-tips with Will"s sample. From the corner of the bed, Oreo Figaro watched all of her movements with concern.

Ellen sat down beside the cat, petting his spiny back idly and picking up the Paternity Testing Form she had downloaded. She scanned the first few paragraphs that contained legal terms and conditions, then the form authorizing how to send the results.

The form contained various lines to fill out to identify the sample; name, sample date, race, and relationship, Suspected Mother, Suspected Father, Suspected Grandfather (paternal or maternal), Suspected Grandmother (paternal or maternal), and Other. She filled in Suspected Mother for Carol"s sample, Suspected Father for Bill"s, and Child for Will"s. Then she made matching labels that the form requested, cut them out with a scissors, and taped them on the two brown paper bags and Will"s envelope, like the arts-and-crafts project from h.e.l.l.

She gathered the brown bags, the envelope, and the forms, and placed them in a padded FedEx Pak. She filled in the address slip, sealed the FedEx envelope, and set it on the nightstand. She would mail the FedEx Pak after she dropped Will at school, not that she wanted to think about the juxtaposition of those two events.

She sat back down on the bed and petted Oreo Figaro, but he declined to purr. In three days, she could find out that Will didn"t belong to the Bravermans and she could keep him happily for the rest of their life together. Three days seemed forever to wait, and at the same time not nearly long enough. Because in three days she could also find out that Will did belong to the Bravermans, then ...

That was where Ellen stopped her thinking. She had promised herself on the plane.

And Oreo Figaro withheld his purr.

Chapter Sixty-four.

The next morning was freezing, the sky an opaque gray and the air holding a wet chill in its clenched fist, and Ellen was sitting in her car in the parking lot of a local strip mall. Traffic rushed back and forth on a busy Lancaster Avenue, the car tires stained white with road salt and their back windshields still deicing. She watched idly, and her car grew cold, the last heat dissipating. She had dropped Will off at school only half an hour ago, but it seemed longer. The FedEx Pak containing the DNA samples sat next to her like an unwanted hitchhiker.

Ellen was stalling, and though she knew it, she couldn"t stop herself. All she had to do was slide down her car window, pull up the metal handle on the FedEx mailbox, and toss the package inside. As soon as she did that, it was out of her hands. The deed would be done. The lab would charge her credit card, process the samples, and email her the results. Yes or no. Hers or theirs.

Ellen couldn"t believe she was still hesitating, not after she"d stalked the Bravermans and placed her professional career in jeopardy, in addition to losing a man she was profoundly attracted to, before she"d even had him. She reminded herself that she didn"t have to do anything with the test results once she had them. Even if it turned out in the Bravermans" favor, she didn"t have to tell a soul. It could stay her secret forever. Why should she stall, given all she had gone through?

Her gaze shifted to the FedEx mailbox, and she reread its pickup sticker for the umpteenth time. The stores in the strip mall hadn"t opened yet, and the gla.s.s front of a Subway remained dark, the display counters and cash registers shapeless shadows. She took a sip of coffee but couldn"t taste it, and set it into the cup holder. Hot steam curled from her travel mug, which had no lid. She"d been too distracted to find it this morning, dreading the task at hand.

I can forget the whole thing.

Ellen turned on the ignition, and the car turned over, throaty. Her coffee vibrated in the cup holder, a tiny ripple appearing on its surface. She didn"t have to mail the samples. She could just drive away and let them decompose or whatever they did. She could stop this insanity right now. Her lawyer, Ron, would approve, and so would her father. He"d kill her if he knew what she doing. The car idled, and the heat vent blew cold air. Still she didn"t hit the gas.

I can"t forget the whole thing.

She pressed the b.u.t.ton and lowered the car window, struck by the frigid blast, then she yanked the handle on the mailbox and tossed the FedEx Pak inside. The drawer closed with a final ca-thunk ca-thunk.

So be it.

Ellen hit the gas, knowing the day was about to get even worse.

Chapter Sixty-five.

Ellen pressed thoughts of the DNA samples to the back of her mind, trying to ignore the irony as she drove to Amy Martin"s funeral. She steered through the run-down neighborhood outside Stoatesville, its residential blocks struggling to survive after all the manufacturing had gone, leaving behind corner bars and empty storefronts. She took a left and a right among the streets, finally spotting the converted rowhouse that stood out because of its freshly painted facade of ivory stucco, the only well-maintained place on the block. She knew it must be the funeral home, because they were always the prettiest buildings, even in a terrible neighborhood. The thought depressed her. You shouldn"t have to die to be in a nice place.

She found a s.p.a.ce on the street, parked, and got out of the car. Cold air blew hard, and she drew her black dress coat closer as she walked down the street. Her boots clacked against the gritty pavement, and she reached the funeral home, with a fake gold sign beside the door. The gla.s.s door was smudged, and she yanked on the handle and went inside, warming up momentarily and getting her bearings. An entrance hall contained a few oak chairs and a fake walnut credenza, on which rested a maroon vase of faded silk flowers and an open guest book with a vinyl cover. The place looked empty, and the air smelled dusty, only vaguely perfumed with flowers. A burgundy rug covered the floor and a long corridor to the left, leading to two louvered doors. Only the second door was open, and light spilled from the room. No sign indicated it was Amy"s viewing, but it was a safe a.s.sumption.

Ellen crossed to the guest book and looked at the open page, scanning the list of names: Gerry Martin, Dr. Robert Villiers and Cheryl Martin Villiers, Tiffany Lebov, William Martin. It gave her pause. Amy had been so disconnected from these people in life, but they had gathered here to mourn her, death having mooted the estrangements and differences, the angry words or hurt feelings. Ellen felt moved to be among them, connected in the most tenuous of ways, if at all. She picked up the long white pen next to the book and signed her name.

She walked down the hall toward the open door, lingering for a moment on the threshold. The room was rectangular and large, but only two rows of brown folding chairs had been set up toward the front, where a group of women huddled together. The casket was closed, and she felt macabre admitting to herself she was almost disappointed. She wouldn"t get a chance to see what Amy Martin looked like, even in death, to compare her features to Will"s. But it didn"t matter now anyway. The DNA samples would solve the mystery that was Amy Martin.

Ellen walked toward the group at the front and when she got closer, saw that Gerry was being comforted by Cheryl, who caught her eye and smiled.

"Ellen, how nice of you to come," she said softly, and Gerry turned in her embrace and looked up. Grief deepened the folds bracketing her mouth, which tilted down, and she looked like she was sinking in an oversized black pantsuit.

"I"m so sorry about your loss." Ellen approached, extending her hand.

"Real nice of you to come." Gerry"s voice sounded hoa.r.s.e, and she blinked tears from her eyes. "I know Amy woulda wanted to meet you. Someday maybe you can bring your little boy over to the house."

Behind her, Cheryl nodded. "I"d like to meet him, too, when he"s feeling better."

"I"d be happy to do that," Ellen said, with a twinge. She"d forgotten that she had lied to them about needing Will"s medical history.

Cheryl said, "Too bad you missed my husband and my brother. They were here last night and earlier, but they had to go." She gestured next to her at another mourner, a young woman. "This is a friend of Amy"s."

"Melanie Rotucci," the girl said, extending her hand. She looked to be in her twenties, and on another day, would have been pretty, if a little hard-looking. Her gray eyes were red and puffy from crying, and her fair skin pale and wan. She had a cupid"s-bow mouth, and her best feature was long, dark hair that spilled over the shoulders of her black leather jacket.

Ellen introduced herself, surprised to meet her. Cheryl and Gerry had told her that Amy didn"t have girlfriends.

Cheryl must have been reading her mind. "Melanie met Amy in rehab, and they were really good friends."

"Amy was in rehab?" Ellen asked, confused. It was all news to her.

"We didn"t know until we met Melanie. It turns out Amy was really trying to turn her life around. She went to rehab twice, for heroin. She was almost better, right, Melanie?"

"I really thought she was going to make it." Melanie"s mouth made a resigned line, in dark lipstick. "She was clean for thirty-five days the second time. At ninety days, she was going to tell everybody, all of you."

"My poor, poor baby," Gerry whispered, collapsing into new sobs, and Cheryl hugged her closer.

Strain etched Melanie"s young face. "I need a cigarette," she muttered, rising.

"I"ll keep you company," Ellen said, intrigued.

Chapter Sixty-six.

"This must be hard on you," Ellen said as they stepped outside the funeral home and shared a grimy top step, its small size forcing them close together. Melanie cupped her cigarette against the cold wind, firing it with a thumb flicked on a yellow plastic Bic lighter.

"It"s the worst."

"Were you good friends?"

"I mean, we didn"t know each other that long, but when you meet people in rehab, you get tighter a lot faster. Amy said that rehab was like dog years, one is like seven." Melanie dragged on the cigarette, and smoke leaked from her sad smile.

"Where is the rehab center?"

"Eagleville, in Pennsylvania." Melanie leaned back against an iron rail and crossed long legs, in skinny jeans and black boots.

Ellen had heard of the place. "Can I ask, how old are you?"

"Twenty-two."

"A lot younger than Amy."

"I know. She took care of me like a big sister, or a mom or something."

It struck a chord. "Did Amy ever mention to you having had a child?"

"No way!" Melanie looked at her like she was crazy. "Amy didn"t have a kid."

"I think she did and she put it up for adoption." Ellen almost didn"t believe it herself, after Miami. "She had a baby, but I guess she didn"t mention it to you."

"It"s possible, I guess."

"It was a very sick baby, with a heart problem."

"I didn"t know everything everything about her." Melanie"s eyes narrowed behind a curtain of cigarette smoke. "Amy was her own girl, that"s for sure, but we went through group together, the seminars they make us take, the lectures, rec activities all day long. We even spent our smoke breaks together. She never mentioned a sick baby." about her." Melanie"s eyes narrowed behind a curtain of cigarette smoke. "Amy was her own girl, that"s for sure, but we went through group together, the seminars they make us take, the lectures, rec activities all day long. We even spent our smoke breaks together. She never mentioned a sick baby."

Ellen set her emotions aside. "She ever mention a boyfriend? His name could"ve been Charles Cartmell."

"No. She used to date a lot, but she was changing that, too. She said in group that she was sick of hooking up with abusive guys. She wasn"t going there, anymore."

"Did any of them visit her at rehab?"

"No. We"re allowed visitors on weekends but she never got any. Neither did I, which was fine with me. If my mom came, I"d a kicked her a.s.s."

Ellen let it go. "I"m wondering about one guy in particular, someone Amy was dating about three or four years ago. He wasn"t a bad-looking guy, on the short side, white, with longish brown hair. They might"ve gone on a trip together, to someplace warm. Did she ever mention a vacation with a guy, at a beach?"

Melanie paused a minute, frowning. "No, but I know that a while ago, she used to see a guy named Rob. Rob Moore."

Ellen felt her heartbeat quicken. "What did she say about him?"

"Just that he was a jerk."

"How long ago was this, that she saw him?"

"I don"t know, but it was old news."

"Three or four years ago?"

"Yeah. Really in her past."

Ellen gathered that if you were in your twenties, three years ago was history. "Did she mention where he was from?"

"Not that I remember."

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