"My own words to myself when I first thought of the chance."
"But the school?"
"I shall not consider that we are malefactors. We have the world against us. It will not keep us from trying to serve it. And there are hints of humaner opinions; it"s not all a huge rolling block of a Juggernaut. Our case could be pleaded before it. I don"t think the just would condemn us heavily. I shall have to ask you to strengthen me, complete me. If you love me, it is your leap out of prison, and without you, I am from this time no better than one-third of a man. I trust you to weigh the position you lose, and the place we choose to take in the world. It "s this--I think this describes it. You know the man who builds his house below the sea"s level has a sleepless enemy always threatening. His house must be firm and he must look to the d.y.k.es. We commit this indiscretion. With a world against us, our love and labour are constantly on trial; we must have great hearts, and if the world is hostile we are not to blame it. In the nature of things it could not be otherwise. My own soul, we have to see that we do--though not publicly, not insolently, offend good citizenship. But we believe--I with my whole faith, and I may say it of you--that we are not offending Divine law.
You are the woman I can help and join with; think whether you can tell yourself that I am the man. So, then, our union gives us powers to make amends to the world, if the world should grant us a term of peace for the effort. That is our risk; consider it, Aminta, between now and tomorrow; deliberate. We don"t go together into a garden of roses."
"I know. I should feel shame. I wish it to look dark," said Aminta, her hand in his, and yet with a fair-sailing mind on the stream of the blood.
Rationally and irrationally, the mixed pa.s.sion and reason in two clear heads and urgent hearts discussed the stand they made before a world defied, neither of them quite perceiving what it was which coloured reason to beauty, or what so convinced their intellects when pa.s.sion spoke the louder.
"I am to have a mate."
"She will pray she may be one."
"She is my first love."
Aminta"s lips formed "mine," without utterance.
Meanwhile his hand or a wizardry subdued her will, allured her body.
She felt herself being drawn to the sign and seal of their plighting for life. She said, "Matthew," softly in protest; and he said, "Never once yet!" She was owing to his tenderness. Her deepened voice murmured: "Is this to deliberate?" Colour flooded the beautiful dark face, as of the funeral hues of a sun suffusing all the heavens; firing earth.
CHAPTER XXIX. AMINTA TO HER LORD
On Friday, on Sat.u.r.day, on Sunday, Lady Charlotte waited for her brother Rowsley, until it was a diminished satisfaction that she had held her ground and baffled his mighty will to subdue her. She did not sleep for thinking of him on the Sunday night. Toward morning a fit of hazy horrors, which others would have deemed imaginings, drove her from her bed to sit and brood over Rowsley in a chair. What if it was a case of heart with him too? Heart disease had been in the family. A man like Rowsley, still feeling the world before him, as a man of his energies and apt.i.tudes, her humour added in the tide of his anxieties, had a right to feel, would not fall upon resignation like a woman.
She was at the physician"s door at eight o"clock. Dr. Rewkes reported rea.s.suringly; it was a simple disturbance in Lord Ormont"s condition of health, and he conveyed just enough of disturbance to send the impetuous lady knocking and ringing at her brother"s door upon the hour of nine.
The announcement of Lady Charlotte"s early visit informed my lord that Dr. Rewkes had done the spiriting required of him. He descended to the library and pa.s.sed under scrutiny.
"You don"t look ill, Rowsley," she said, reluctantly in the sound.
"I am the better for seeing you here, Charlotte. Shall I order breakfast for you? I am alone."
"I know you are. I"ve eaten. Rewkes tells me you"ve not lost appet.i.te."
"Have I the appearance of a man who has lost anything?" Prouder man, and heartier and ruddier, could not be seen, she thought.
"You"re winning the country to right you; that I know."
"I don"t ask it."
"The country wants your services."
"I have heard some talk of it. That lout comes to a knowledge of his wants too late. If they promoted and offered me the command in India to-morrow--"My lord struck the arm of his chair. "I live at Steignton henceforth; my wife is at a seaside place eastward. She left the jewel-case when on her journey through London for safety; she is a particularly careful person, forethoughtful. I take her down to Steignton two days after her return. We entertain there in the autumn.
You come?"
"I don"t. I prefer decent society."
"You are in her house now, ma"am."
"If I have to meet the person, you mean, I shall be civil. The society you"ve given her, I won"t meet."
"You will have to greet the Countess of Ormont if you care to meet your brother."
"Part, then, on the best terms we can. I say this, the woman who keeps you from serving your country, she "s your country"s enemy."
"Hear my answer. The lady who is my wife has had to suffer for what you call my country"s treatment of me. It "s a choice between my country and her. I give her the rest of my time."
"That"s dotage."
"Fire away your epithets."
"Sheer dotage. I don"t deny she"s a handsome young woman."
"You"ll have to admit that Lady Ormont takes her place in our family with the best we can name."
"You insult my ears, Rowsley."
"The world will say it when it has the honour of her acquaintance."
"An honour suspiciously deferred."
"That"s between the world and me."
"Set your head to work, you"ll screw the world to any pitch you like--that I don"t need telling."
Lord Ormont"s head approved the remark.
"Now," said Lady Charlotte, "you won"t get the Danmores, the Dukerlys, the Carminters, the Oxbridges any more than you get me."
"You are wrong, ma"am. I had yesterday a reply from Lady Danmore to a communication of mine."
"It "s thickening. But while I stand, I stand for the family; and I "m not in it, and while I stand out of it, there "s a doubt either of your honesty or your sanity."
"There"s a perfect comprehension of my sister!"
"I put my character in the scales against your conduct, and your Countess of Ormont"s reputation into the bargain."
"You have called at her house; it "s a step. You "ll be running at her heels next. She "s not obdurate."
"When you see me running at her heels, it"ll be with my head off. Stir your hardest, and let it thicken. That man Morsfield"s name mixed up with a sham Countess of Ormont, in the stories flying abroad, can"t hurt anybody. A true Countess of Ormont--we "re cut to the quick."
"We "re cut! Your quick, Charlotte, is known to court the knife."
Letters of the morning"s post were brought in.