Chapter 7: The Culprit Is Found!
Translator: Atlas Studios Editor: Atlas Studios
Pei Qian opened the video.
Speaking with a dialect in his draggy and hoa.r.s.ely unique voice, Teacher Qiao left a deep impression for Pei Qian.
“My dear daddies, greetings. I’m the same old G.o.dfather of Games you guys know me as, Teacher Qiao.”
“I had many requests to update new videos by fans, telling me they miss watching me diss lame games. Now, the reason why I delayed the update wasn’t because I was lazy, it was because most of the lame games I found were too low cla.s.s in their lameness…”
“And finally, the Heavens do not give up on those who work hard. After my arduous journey of digging for a true gem amongst the dumps, I found this piece of s.h.i.+- no, gold. That’s right, I present to you, The Lonely Desert Road.”
“This is an extremely interesting game where you can enjoy a philosophical journey that lasts eight hours real-time!”
“This is an extremely rudimentary driving simulator. Not only do you get to drive, you can even press the horn, listen to music while enjoying the ever-changing scenery of the desert!”
“That’s right, even though it’s filled with sand all over and there isn’t much to see, trust me – the moving sands would cause the scenery to seem different every single moment. You might even catch a mirage after a long time…”
“What? You didn’t see it? Don’t worry, as long as you persevere through the eight hours of journey, you will definitely see it!”
“Other than that, the game has an extremely sophisticated ranking system that can actually track the number of completions and effective game time!”
“Oh my, what a n.o.ble function it is to remind me constantly of how much of my life I’ve wasted in this game…”
“C-Cough. Alright, everyone should be able to tell that I was being sarcastic. In truth, this game can completely be called the most boring game in history, hands down.”
“That’s right, you haven’t heard wrongly. Be it in the past or the future, domestically or abroad, there shouldn’t be another driving simulator more boring than this.”
“You have to look ahead for the entire eight hours of journey for there is a turn every now and then. If you miss the turn… I’m sorry, you’ve failed and you’ll have to start the game from scratch!”
“Don’t ask me why there’s no pause or saving available. That’s because… This! Game! Has! No! Pause! Function! At! All!”
“The only enjoyment you derive from this game would be by pressing the horn and listening to music. However, the problem is that not only can you not listen to music that you want to, you can’t even change the radio channel! All you can listen to are some unknown, niche or antique tunes! Not only that, you can’t even skip the songs you don’t like!”
“And the most shocking revelation came at the end where it actually mocked me with a single statement — Congratulations for wasting eight precious hours of your life!”
“That’s right! This is truly a game that has one contemplating life; that’s what it did for me!”
“It had me realize how important my time was and how games were such a waste of time!”
“If I could grade this game in terms of its boringness out of 10, it would get a full 100!”
“But of course, even a game as such isn’t perfect.”
“As the first Hardcore Mode player who cleared this game (You can verify it through the rankings), I strongly suggest the game to add the following features!”
“Firstly, why end the game after the car reaches the endpoint? I highly suggest that the car can make a U-turn upon reaching the endpoint and drive back to the start point! That would be a logical way of inventing an Endless Mode!”
“Can anyone truly claim to have conquered a game like this without going for a full 10 loops or so?”
“Other than that, I highly suggest adding a multiplayer function where other players can enter the room and sit in the car to enjoy the scenery or chat with the driver!”
“I hope that the creator of the game can take my advice and update the current version of the game. That would ensure that it’s a huge hit!”
“…”
“Now, that concludes the end of this week’s dissing! The next eight hours would be the full recording of the gameplay. Anyone who’s that bored can feel free to watch the entire journey without fast-forwarding.”
“Trust me, after that, you will definitely gain some realizations about life too!”
Pei Qian scrolled ahead of the video and discovered that Teacher Qiao had truly recorded his entire eight hours of gameplay.
The comments section was practically exploding with enthusiastic fans.
“I’ve truly watched the full eight hours without fast-forwarding. Now, I feel as though I’m starting to contemplate the meaning of life…”
“Teacher Qiao has made such a huge sacrifice! He’s practically living on the edge for this!”
“Teacher Qiao, please stop! Your hairline can’t take this anymore!”
“Do people have to risk their lives to create a video these days?!”
“I’ve already downloaded it. I’m sure I can find the meaning of life within the desert!”
“The guy who made the previous comment, count me in!”
“The game’s full name is called The Lonely Desert Road. You can find it on the official games platform. Don’t rush to thank me, I’m just a Samaritan!”
“Count me in +1”
“Sightseeing group, let’s go!”
…
Pei Qian was completely stumped as he looked at the comments left behind.
Something must be wrong with this world!
I made such a trashy game and it was used as material by some content creator to such a roaring response?!
Even though he was confounded, Pei Qian more or less understood how everything happened.
Of all things, his game had to be found by this Teacher Qiao who specialized in making videos to diss games who then created an episode out of it through a stroke of inspiration.
With his exceptional synopsis and huge fan base coupled with some shrewd editing, the video went viral!
Before long, a sightseeing group was attracted to the video as people were interested in the game’s extent of lousiness.
Amongst them, most of the people stopped playing after a while as the game was truly boring. However, to the majority of them, that 1 yuan was so negligible that they weren’t even bothered with asking for a refund…
A minority of them got compet.i.tive because of the ranking system while there were some gamers who had even started spreading lies intentionally!
Some claimed that at the fourth hour, there would be a really fun easter egg that appears if they look towards the desert.
Others claimed that if one were to clear the game three times, a hidden stage would be unlocked!
There were even many who were asking in the comments section if they could share this video…
Pei Qian realized that things didn’t seem to be going well.
Why did it suddenly seem as though this game was going to be hot?!
Could it be… that this game is not going to lose money?!
“No, that can’t be. I’ve got to do something…”
Pei Qian was not intending to sit by idly and wait – he was going to save himself!
If this game ends up becoming hot, he would be making a huge loss!
He thought that the issue may have stemmed from the summary he wrote.
It was too vague and hence the gamers misunderstood him!
It was time to be truthful to the gamers – he had to dissuade the newcomers from spending money on it!