The soldiers were once again standing straight and stoic on either side of the doorway. They made no response when Hilde walked past them, and she in turn didn"t attempt to engage them again. With the way her own cries had reverberated inside the hollow stone building, the three of them were even. There was no need to heighten the shame they must all surely feel.She stopped a couple of paces past the door and waited. From behind, she soon heard the Lord General"s footsteps crunching on the ground. He stopped beside her. Along with Nadia fidgeting on Hilde"s other side, she and the older man stood under the harsh sun, and by mutual accord, they too didn"t seek to face each other again. All of them could make out the approach of a group of people, garbed in either black or gray, past the tree trunks. This was all the excuse they needed to look straight ahead.
"You arrived with the Lyseans earlier," Lord Alfwin observed. His voice was made rough by recent crying, but his tone was conversational. "May I know how that came about, Princess? Was it as the Queen said?"
Hilde held in a sigh. As expected, even he had an issue with that turn of events.
It wasn"t too difficult to piece together what truly happened on the road to Oste. Even if no one at all had offered an explanation, anyone could have taken a guess and arrived at the correct answer, as the Lyseans did.
But Queen Heloise did give an explanation, and she seemed to have relied on Hilde"s reputation to muddy the otherwise clear waters. Yes, Lady Ilse had no love for Lyseans, but she was also a stickler for protocols. Would she blatantly break multiple rules for her selfish ends?
Her haters might answer "yes" in a heartbeat. For most others, the presence of Hilde in the equation was enough to sow doubt.
She was, after all, a youth who"d always acted like she never learned what the rules were, let alone followed them to the letter. Even the Queen and the Prince failed to get her to behave as a Princess should. If Hilde had gotten it into her head to play escort to the Lyseans, Lady Ilse could have done precious little to stop her from acting on the impulse.
But it was something Hilde should not have done, if they were all to a.s.sume that the Queen had lied – she never intended to provide escorts. For one, Hilde was prepared to bet that the soldiers at the border pa.s.s had been under orders not to step forward for the task. If those Lyseans had been in their right minds, that should have been enough reason for them to turn away at the gates and go straight back to their King.
"Why continue?" she was certain many Arnicans were wondering. She had wondered the same earlier, after all.
If only they knew the half of it.
"It was, Lord General," Hilde answered after a brief debate of whether to tell the whole truth or not. In the end, she decided against openly contradicting what the Queen had already stated. She too wished to protect her family. "I knew Lady Ilse wanted to reach Oste sooner, and I was slowing us down. When we heard the Lyseans have come, we tried to evade them at first, but when they spotted us…" Hilde shrugged. "We could not offer outright insult, but I thought, why not slow THEM down? So I left the Lady"s company and joined theirs."
What she had said were not lies, exactly, but with the number of details she left out, they might as well have been. They rolled right out of her tongue.
"And the Lady simply… let you?" Lord Alfwin asked.
"Of course not, Lord," she replied, sounding firm and earnest. "It took some convincing."
Hilde decided not to elaborate on how much "some" was. She could only push a fabrication so far before it starts coming apart at the seams.
"I see." The Lord General was silent for some moments. Meanwhile, the group of approaching people had just entered the winding path between the trees. Their progress was being slowed further by what many of them carried. "Your motivations were admirable, Princess. The risk to your reputation, however…"
The young woman let out a grim chuckle. "Come, Lord Alfwin. You and I both know I risked nothing. My reputation"s nonexistent."
"Your "good" reputation, Princess," her attendant piped in, ever the helpful soul. She heard one of the soldiers behind them cough.
"Thank you, Nadia," Hilde said evenly. "You"re quite right, I should have been more specific." After drawing in a breath to steel herself, she continued, "Despite this, Lord General, I must ask – will you endorse me in place of Lothar and the Prince?"
When seconds pa.s.sed with no answer from the older man, Hilde was forced to turn her head sideways so she may see what expression he wore. The Lord was still watching the approaching group of people, but from a considering frown, his expression eased into one of recognition. She blinked when he suddenly turned to meet her intent stare.
"Princess, I don"t believe you"ve met my younger son?"
For an infinitesimal moment, Hilde saw red. "No…" she thought as a chill coursed through her body despite the searing sun on her skin. "Not you too…"
She had a.s.sumed that, like two certain Ladies did before him, Lord Alfwin was going to tell her to give up all thoughts of swords and soldiering – to focus instead on turning herself into a female who concerned herself properly with marriage.
To bring up his younger son out of nowhere… in that same horrible moment, Hilde had thought the Lord was suggesting the worst possible thing anyone could have had: that she should consider having the brother now that she couldn"t have the man she truly wanted.
He had faced forward again almost before he finished speaking. It was likely Lord Alfwin didn"t see Hilde"s reaction to his question, which was just as well, because the reason he brought his son up was made clear by his next words.
"He"s come to fetch me, I think."
As soon as the meaning sank in, Hilde followed his soft gaze until she too saw what he, despite the s.h.i.+fting crowd and his aged eyesight, had spotted earlier. Once again, she was thrown off-balance by the resemblance between Lothar and his brother.
"The Recluse…" she breathed without thinking.
"Yes, quite," Lord Alfwin replied, his tone wry. "I"m surprised the sun hasn"t melted him yet."
Nadia burst into laughter and Hilde"s face paled in embarra.s.sment. Still, because she was unspeakably relieved that the conclusion she had jumped straight to was wrong, she then did another rude thing. She also laughed.
"Oh, forgive me," she said almost at once and tried to compose herself. But with Nadia beside her nearly bending over in her own amus.e.m.e.nt, it was a struggle.
"There"s nothing to forgive, Princess," the older man replied, showing a small, indulgent smile. "Theodar does not step out of our manor unless his mother or sister begs him to, and he had never before stepped foot outside our domain. It took his brother"s death…"
Lord Alfwin finished the thought by shaking his head and looking into the distance. Hilde"s laughter dissipated; even Nadia became silent.
The group of men and women finally cleared the trees, meanwhile, but had to interrupt their progress one last time by acknowledging the royal and the n.o.ble before them. At the returned acknowledgment, the gray-garbed attendants began setting up the wheeled, bed-like contraptions they had brought in a neat line parallel to the House of Contemplation.
Raban and Inge"s fellow Royal Guards – soldiers in black armor who numbered more than a dozen – proceeded in turn towards the building. Hilde, Nadia, and Lord Alfwin made way for them. To a man, the now-masterless soldiers looked nowhere but at the ground.
Though he had come mixed in among them, Theodar did not approach with the group. He stopped right at the edge of the trees where there was still some shade and stared resolutely at his father.
"Excuse me, Princess Hilde, it seems it is I who must approach." Lord Alfwin"s heavily lined eyes were narrowed as he spoke. He seemed displeased – anyone not looking closely enough would think so – but Hilde caught the subtle spark in those familiar eyes and recognized it as one of amus.e.m.e.nt. "Who am I to disobey his silent order?" the Lord went on in an apparently ominous tone. "I am only his father and ruling Lord."
One corner of Hilde"s lips turned up. She never believed Lothar"s claims that the strict and steady-mannered Lord General was a doting father in private, particularly to his only daughter. Now, she saw the evidence with her own eyes, and once again, she was feeling wistful.
She was also feeling hurt. It seemed that he had no intention at all of answering the request she"d posed.
"I should be leaving too," she said in a subdued tone. The Lord turned to her.
"Ah, child," he suddenly breathed out. Raising one of his big hands, at first his intent appeared to be to cup her face, but halfway through the motion, it changed directions, landing instead on her shoulder. "I was teasing," he went on, looking Hilde straight in the eyes, ensuring there won"t be a misunderstanding this time around. "I will endorse you, Princess – of course I will. You never needed to ask."